Say Your Name

[FaustOust]

There have been a couple of occasions, either following several hours or overnight together, I have asked a provider, “What is your name?”  or “Is such and such your real name?” On one of those occasions, one told me he was not willing to share his name yet, and on the other, the provider just said that he had an uncommon first name and would rather not say.  In each of those cases, I respected their wishes not to reveal their first names to me and didn’t pressure.   I said something like “oh I understand, no problem,” and dropped it.  In each of those cases, the guy knew my real name and in one case, he could have known both my given name and surname.

However, I am not sure why, but after having established what seemed to be a connection with someone, I wanted to call them by their real name — rather than a pseudonym or a screen name.  

Is this a reasonable desire — or is everyone, clients and providers, just sharing fake names with one another as part of some invented identity for escorting? Do people know the real identities of their regulars?  For me, it seems to have been a one way street, where I have not hidden my name or even facts about my life, but the escort won’t be equally as honest or forthcoming.

 

[pubic_assistance]

11 minutes ago, FaustOust said:

after having established what seemed to be a connection with someone, I wanted to call them by their real name — rather than a pseudonym or a screen name.  

Is this a reasonable desire ...?

Absolutely . 

I have always asked providers who I have an ongoing professional relationship with, if their name is their given name or a name chosen for business purposes. I am not, however insulted if they choose to continue to keep their real name private. 

[Colton]

If you maintain an ongoing relationship long enough, eventually Instagram will propose the person as someone you may know.

[+ nycman]

Strangely, I actually prefer not to know. 

When I’ve built the fantasy in my head of "X",  I want to fuck X, kiss X, cuddle with X,…..

"Y"? Yeah,I don’t know him nor do I need to. 

Oddly compartmentalized, but true. 

[pubic_assistance]

8 hours ago, Colton said:

If you maintain an ongoing relationship long enough, eventually Instagram will propose the person as someone you may know.

Yes. This happens all the time. Even people who I fucked YEARS ago, will pop up in my list of suggested "friends".

[+ Pensant]

They always tell me their real names for some reason, as I do mine. One even calls me by my childhood nickname, which he likes better than my given name. 

[Nightowl]

I usually know their true name before we meet for the first time.  BeenVerified is a good research tool if you have one piece of information like a phone number.  I only do incall massage so I usually have an address too.  As for asking them their true name, (1) I usually already know it by the time we meet, and (2) I don’t ask for it so as not to spoil their false sense of anonymity.  I myself only give my first name but they can research my phone number if they want more.  I’m sure they have done so.

[FaustOust]

3 hours ago, nycman said:

Strangely, I actually prefer not to know. 

When I’ve built the fantasy in my head of "X",  I want to fuck X, kiss X, cuddle with X,…..

"Y"? Yeah,I don’t know him nor do I need to. 

Oddly compartmentalized, but true

Do they know your real name?

[+ nycman]

4 hours ago, FaustOust said:

Do they know your real name?

I use my real first name when I contact a provider. 

It just seems human to me. There is an inherent risk, but most providers are decent humans and I generally only contact men who are well reviewed here. Is that a "mistake"? Let’s just say I wouldn’t advise others to follow my lead. Especially, if they have something to loose. Even providers with good reputations here, occasionally turn out to be astoundingly evil and petty beings.

YMMV. 

 

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

15 hours ago, FaustOust said:

There have been a couple of occasions, either following several hours or overnight together, I have asked a provider, “What is your name?”  or “Is such and such your real name?” On one of those occasions, one told me he was not willing to share his name yet, and on the other, the provider just said that he had an uncommon first name and would rather not say.  In each of those cases, I respected their wishes not to reveal their first names to me and didn’t pressure.   I said something like “oh I understand, no problem,” and dropped it.  In each of those cases, the guy knew my real name and in one case, he could have known both my given name and surname.

However, I am not sure why, but after having established what seemed to be a connection with someone, I wanted to call them by their real name — rather than a pseudonym or a screen name.  

Is this a reasonable desire — or is everyone, clients and providers, just sharing fake names with one another as part of some invented identity for escorting? Do people know the real identities of their regulars?  For me, it seems to have been a one way street, where I have not hidden my name or even facts about my life, but the escort won’t be equally as honest or forthcoming.

 

I never ask "What is your real name".  If I forget his name (especially if he doesn't provide a name in his profile), I will ask "Please remind me what you'd like me to call you" when we meet.

[+ purplekow]

Back in the day, I paid usually with checks and so they knew my name and if they wanted it to be made out personally, then I knew theirs.  Occasionally, I would leave the name blank and allow them to fill it in.  I do usually ask if the name I am using for them is a stage name, sometimes it is obvious that it is.  I have not had a provider tell me they would rather not reveal their real name.  In my head, the person's actual name already increases the intimacy significantly.  

[+ JamesB]

I keep it simple: if their username includes a name, I use that. If not, I just ask how they’d like to be addressed. Whatever they prefer is fine with me, even if I happen to learn their real name while checking them out.

[DznNYC]

I should have been more prepared with a pseudonym when I started sex work.  But I don’t do well with them!  I always fuck it up and use my real name by accident. 

So Damian it is!

[TorontoDrew]

I usually ask them what I should call them unless they have a name on their RM profile.  A couple have told me their real names after I've hired them a few times. Doesn't matter to me if it's their real name as I understand why they would keep it private.

[big-n-tall]

Most of the guys I've encountered usually tell me their real names fairly quickly. Either just off-handily mentioning it or telling me when I need it to buy them a plane ticket to come visit. I do have a couple regulars that I still don't know what their real names are.

If I've known the guy a fairly decent amount of time, I prefer to know their real name, but i don't try to pry it out of them. Some of the porn guys I've met have some really silly porn names and it's sometimes hard to call them by that stage name without laughing. So I'll ask and they usually tell me their names. I'll also ask a provider what they want to be called when they use an adjective or something weird for their ad name.

One of the most random name slips was with a porn actor and provider. During an overnight he was looking through his duffle bag. I think he misplaced something. He remarked, "you're such a bonehead, Larry". He looked at me like he saw a ghost. lol! I knew right then and there that was his name. I was going to say to him, "Who is Larry?", but I let it go.

Edited June 9 by big-n-tall

[+ azdr0710]

I very much prefer to have relaxed, slow-paced, good buddy-type meets...hang out, chat, kick back.....so I really like to know a real first name as part of that (better than saying, "hey, would you like a beer, CutAndHungCock?")......provider meets have ranged from real-name disclosure during pre-meet planning to a first-time provider showing me their health card (real name) when I asked about their bareback history to a polite "no" to my inquiry after a third meet.....

Edited June 9 by azdr0710

[Colton]

57 minutes ago, azdr0710 said:

first-time provider showing me their health card (real name)

How often does someone agree to show this?

[+ Just Chuck]

If their screen name is comfortable for me to call them, I just use that. But if the screen name is unpronounceable or not suitable to call out during a moment of passion, I’ll ask, “what do you like to be called in person?”

i wouldn’t want to try to call someone ABQ_DT_Sckr_Swllwr in person.

I’ve had sessions where the chemistry really clicked between us and we shared real names and real contact information before saying goodbye.

[+ Pensant]

13 hours ago, big-n-tall said:

I do have a couple regulars that I still don't know what their real names are.

That’s interesting.

[ShortCutie7]

On 6/9/2025 at 9:35 AM, pubic_assistance said:

Yes. This happens all the time. Even people who I fucked YEARS ago, will pop up in my list of suggested "friends".

Yep, I am currently friends on Facebook with the two hookups I had the best chemistry with… they both came up under suggested friends. I don’t think this is a coincidence, and it’s also why I use my real first name (so I don’t come across as a liar).

[big-n-tall]

10 hours ago, Pensant said:

That’s interesting.

To each their own I guess.

I don't fault them for wanting to keep whatever to themselves. It doesn't change my experiences with them.

One guy, I guess, would be considered more of a semi-regular. We've met 2 times (it will be a third later this year) since I first hired him in 2023. He's divulged more personal info about himself each time we've met and through random texting. So I suspect he'll eventually tell me without me asking. Maybe he needs to be certain he can trust me, I don't know. This is the same guy I mentioned in this post: https://www.companyofmen.org/topic/81521-escorts-say-the-darndest-things/page/13/#comment-2414251

The other guy, I've seen a lot... for years. However, beyond a few personal tidbits, we don't talk much about his life outside of escorting. So if he tells me his name, or not, is up to him. I still enjoy our time together.

 

[Luv2play]

I can live with either situation. It doesn’t bother me if they have a first name on their RM ad that is a regular first name. If they have something that is not a real name like Top Stud, then I ask them what I should call them. 
I have had a handful of regulars over the years and always got to know their real first and family names. I would never divulge their names to others even if I recommend them as I think that is not for me to do. 
In the few times I have included them in a threesome with another escort, I will use their RM names during the session to protect their real identity.

[TorontoDrew]

7 hours ago, ShortCutie7 said:

Yep, I am currently friends on Facebook with the two hookups I had the best chemistry with… they both came up under suggested friends. I don’t think this is a coincidence, and it’s also why I use my real first name (so I don’t come across as a liar).

I had a guy I hired six years ago just show up as someone I might know on Facebook. Scary that they could link us as I try to keep things pretty separate.

[Wings246]

Even if he gives you his "real" name, how can you verify that it's indeed real unless he shows you his official government-issued documents?  Still, how can you rule out the possibility of a fake ID?  I'm just pushing cynicism to the extreme here.

[soloyo215]

On 6/9/2025 at 12:06 AM, FaustOust said:

There have been a couple of occasions, either following several hours or overnight together, I have asked a provider, “What is your name?”  or “Is such and such your real name?” On one of those occasions, one told me he was not willing to share his name yet, and on the other, the provider just said that he had an uncommon first name and would rather not say.  In each of those cases, I respected their wishes not to reveal their first names to me and didn’t pressure.   I said something like “oh I understand, no problem,” and dropped it.  In each of those cases, the guy knew my real name and in one case, he could have known both my given name and surname.

However, I am not sure why, but after having established what seemed to be a connection with someone, I wanted to call them by their real name — rather than a pseudonym or a screen name.  

Is this a reasonable desire — or is everyone, clients and providers, just sharing fake names with one another as part of some invented identity for escorting? Do people know the real identities of their regulars?  For me, it seems to have been a one way street, where I have not hidden my name or even facts about my life, but the escort won’t be equally as honest or forthcoming.

 

When I was young and hooked up with other men, sometimes I not only gave a different name, but created a complete persona, different work, different type of family, I even faked accents, or faked that I wasn't proficient in the language I was speaking. Other than getting a cheap thrill out of it, I had no reason to fake my name (at least consciously). I'm sharing this just to say that there might not be a deep, complex reason for not wanting to give his real name. Aside from the standard having something to hide and a lot to lose, sometimes it's just a way of detaching from the work and keeping his personal life personal. Good connection or not, the provider might still see it as work-related, and not part of his personal life.

Just my thoughts.