all kinds of reasons a provider doesn't respond - some good, some not so much.......your "safe and sane" mention is fine........keep your initial contact to-the-point, brief, discreet, professional, polite......in that first contact, don't ask for rates just yet and don't mention specific "acts" just yet, either......suggest a very specific day and time, but offer flexibility.......quick self-description (basic stats) is usually a nice thing to offer......ask for their thoughts and ask if they have any questions.........no guarantees!!