DznNYC

Not to respond to this post with an advertisement, but… 😏 I recommend myself! In all seriousness though, posting here is a great move. There’s a lot of us out there who lead with empathy and really do know how to create a private safe space to explore. And the firsthand experience of guys with similar experiences is a great way to start getting recommendations. I’d also say… when you start talking to providers, be upfront about your situation and what you’re looking for. And pay close attention to how they respond. Many providers out there have this specific interest and have actual experience in this department. Being someone’s first is a responsibility and a privilege. So take note when talking to a provider that they show signs of understanding that. I’d caution against a results oriented mindset, especially if you’re looking to bottom. Don’t go in with a plan for how much dick you expect to take and how hard you want to take it. Trust that your first time out will be whatever it’s meant to be. Let the chemistry guide you. That in mind, don’t go cock shopping, and don't get hung up on the size of your provider. It’s counter intuitive, but sometimes larger ones can be easier in their own way. Smaller ones have their challenges too. Sensible to avoid the 9"+ club, I get that. But otherwise, providers on the larger side have been forced to acquire some skills in that department, and have had to learn to use their cocks with a certain care in order to make it happen. And the post above... Yes, don't forget to take some time to learn your body and how to prep. I know it’s a hurdle for a lot of new bottoms, but we all had to learn it at some point. It's the most basic act of respect for your provider, an actual necessity. But it's not just for your provider. You'll be able to enjoy the experience so much more without having to worry about that aspect. Good luck! You've got so many amazing discoveries ahead of you!

This is an in person happy hour for sex workers, off duty, not a group chat. No active sex work happening to bust. Though you are correct. Nothing is without risk. That in mind, each month we have a designated provider chosen to skip the event. That way - in the unlikely event the meetup should turn cataclysmic - one single provider will survive to bear the responsibilities of servicing the men of New York City.

Looks like this is a thing now! NYC now has a monthly meetup for providers. Providers DM me and I’ll share details. 😇😎

I get that lots of providers are pretty strict with their boundaries, and with good reason. But... Who doesn't want birthday wishes??? As long as honoring any agreements for With very close long term client/provider relationships, my experience as been an additional hour at my rate at Christmas and birthday. But I'm certain there's no hard and fast rule about this.

I'm going to weigh in with some advice I flagrantly lifted from Dan Savage: Fuck before dinner!! It ensures that everyone is at their best and most prepared when the actual sex happens. It means you're less likely to limit your actual appetite over dinner. Dinner becomes a far more comfortable experience. Rather than being potentially fraught with anxiety (Yes, escorts get anxiety too, with new clients and new situations) dinner becomes much more comfortable and intimate. A celebration of a job well done on the part of both parties. Real appetites have been built. Dinner always tastes better after sex. AND... It creates an opportunity for a whole other round of sex after dinner. It's better in all the ways. And yes, it works just the same outside of a hiring situation. Always Team Fuck-Before-Dinner!

Telegram gives you the option to hide your phone number, so it seems to be one of the safer chat platforms in terms of anonymity.

I know this guy! He’s so sweet! We’ve never worked together but I can verify: - He’s handsome as hell - He really is that tall - His vibe is very very masculine in person

Ahh, thank you, sexy friend! And yes, I am a big believer in passionate connected sex. I never saw the point of sex without brining your whole self to the moment. Meeting men who are willing to do the same is one of the great joys of this kind of work.

I think this situation would involve a certain amount of financial risk for the providers, depending on how many clients actually showed up. Could be super lucrative, or could be a big flop. The key would be finding providers who are excited enough about group play to take the risk.

More intuitive than specific. But I’ll give you one: when guys talk to you too much like they’re sexting, you do start to suspect that’s all they’re doing. When you start getting too many adjectives or - in extreme cases - adverbs, you do wonder if it’s all fantasy zero reality.

I’ll definitely ask questions just go get the prospective client talking. Generally just about what he likes, what his expectations are, what gets him off … And I’m definitely running it all through my intuitive psycho detector. Red flags tend to present themselves pretty well during these conversations. Questions I avoid tend to be demographic ones. I don’t ask a client’s age, ethnicity, body type, cock size. Really I’m just seeking to suss out whether or not I suit the clients needs, and whether or not they seem safe, sane, and reliable.

There are a LOT of us bear lovers out there! I’m naturally VERY into bigger guys. But I’m actually pretty careful leading with that, as I never want anyone to feel reduced to a fetish. There are SO many of us around who don’t discriminate by body type. I promise we’re out there!

This is funny! And the old man smell is real!! But actually … As an escort, I have a number of clients who I’d classify as … with all due respect … surprisingly old. And I have yet to encounter old man smell in a client situation. Scouts’ honor. Maybe staying sexually active keeps that part of aging at bay? Which is to say… Don’t stop hiring!

You guys, my friend @GentJ is 100% the way to go. His huge cock is the real deal. https://rent.men/Gentleman_Justin

We have one of these happening this evening. Happy Hour in midtown NYC. Any providers interested, send me a DM 😇

Thank you for the nuanced explainer, and you're absolutely right. Libel is a more accurate word than slander. On that issue... When you're familiar with both parties, and you watch this kind of dispute unfold here, it's a real cautionary tale for providers. It takes very little for a client to come for your reputation and livelihood in a public and libelous (thank you @PhileasFogg) way. Also, I'm fairly certain the question here wasn't: Should these things be allowed? The question was: Why don't providers participate more? Pretty clear this thread answered its own question.

Had a little provider side chat about this topic… Wondering if there would ever be a client base for a group event like this. A small group of curated versatile providers. A slightly less small group of clients who enjoy playing in group scenarios. Is this kind of thing worth exploring? I guess specifically thinking of a NYC based event.

This forum could be a real asset to providers. Being newer to RM, I only have 500 characters to communicate who I am and what I offer. This offers a chance to communicate more thoughtfully and give guys on the other side of this industry a more complete view of who I am. But this can be a treacherous place for providers! Many of us have scaled back participation for that reason. There's some really dominant toxic voices. There's a loud peanut gallery that seems to make a hobby of comments ranging from critical to derogatory about providers they've never met or hired. ("Needs to hit the gym," "Terrible tattoos," "Too girlie!" "Looks older than he lists," "PNP means he's a junkie!" "Smoker!") There's a strong risk of slander, against which it's all but impossible to defend yourself. (I've watched it happen to providers I know well and trust!) And there's some known scammers - about whom we all warn each other - regularly contributing as though they're legitimate clients. If there were more to be gained here for us to participate, it would probably draw more of us back. A sub-forum to promote ourselves? Would anyone actually take advantage? Maybe not. Worth noting: Every client I've met who uses this site - contributor or lurker - has been a top notch guy, just doing their research a bit more thoroughly. So the issue really does just seem to be the loudest most toxic voices.

I love groups! Few things more exciting than a group dynamic. I've done a few similar scenes, but not quite this. I've worked small sexy parties before, which are fun as hell. Or I've done groups with multiple providers and a single client. All incredibly hot experiences. Group dynamic is one of my favorites. Though you're right to carefully consider this question and thoughtfully curate the group. Not every provider combination is ideal. Sometimes having providers with known chemistry can be helpful. Occasionally I've helped clients curate groups. It's fun stuff! https://rent.men/DznNYC

Ahhh! I know him from the gym. He's so sexy, and looks just like his photos.

THIS! He's absolutely right. There are lots of guys out there attempting to monetize their sex life, and that doesn't make them escorts. And that doesn't mean you have to hire them. When an early concern is, "Are you hot enough to be with your provider?" that's not a question that easily goes away. That sounds like a great way to spend a few high dollar hours totally stressed out. A good provider will ask you lots of questions in advance, in hopes of learning about you and what you enjoy. But the red flag is when those questions veer into demographics - age, race, body type, cock size, etc. Yes, I decide whether or not we meet. But I'm deciding based on whether or not I think I'm the best provider to give you the experience you're looking for. Not based on any of your externals. Typically, I go into new client situations 100% ignorant to those demographic questions. I'm literally blind to who will open the door or appear in the hotel lobby. This isn't meant as a brag or a flex. This is just to say that we're out there. There actually are providers who won't put you through that shit. It just means you have to keep searching.

This is absolutely okay, even encouraged. First of all, if you knew the fucked up things that providers get asked on a regular basis, you wouldn't worry! But truly, as a provider, it can only be helpful to have a clear erotic sense of your client in advance. And chat is usually the way to learn that. I never ask demographic questions beforehand (age, race, body type, cock size, etc) because that can lead all too often to a sense of the client feeling judged by be. Definitely not the dynamic I'm after. But I will ask lots of questions about their sexual interests. It helps me know how to prepare for the session in advance. But also, it helps ensure that the client is actually communicating his desires for our time together. And guys will often open up more over chat than they will face to face. I put a lot of effort into making guys feel safe to open up and communicate what they want, but sometimes you can't fight years of repression and homophobia just by commanding someone to feel safe. If sending a porn link feels easier that just explaining what you like... why not? By all means, show me what you like!

God I don't hear that nearly enough. LOL

This was actually a pretty complicated question for me when I was setting up my profile, and it took a bit of trial and error to land where I ended up identifying: versatile/bottom. The truth of the matter is that I'm genuinely a case-by-case versatile guy. I love both. I do both as much as I can. Left to my own devices, sexual position is determined by situation and chemistry, which means I usually end up topping. But losing either from my life would be a genuine loss. The real complicating factor for me is that this isn't my full time job. A very full week for me is four bookings. So for me, I feel like it makes sense to be a bit more intentional in connecting with guys whose needs best align with my skill sets, more so perhaps than guys who are seeing clients daily. And one of my favorite things - I might even say a skill of mine - is the versatile flip session. Come to find out, there's a real population who thrives on that. Similarly there's a population who leans one way or the other and wants to explore the other side too. I still love a strict top and and a strict bottom always! But it would be a big personal loss - not to mention a waste of some skills - for me to miss out on those vers flip guys. Well, come to find out, the hiring population is so heavily slanted towards bottoms... (is this shocking news?) ... that listing as versatile is still the functional equivalent of listing as a top. Meanwhile guys who are actually versatile or tops don't seem to find you without the word "bottom" in your profile. Long story short, I've settled into a somewhat inaccurate identifier as a way to navigate the reality of the landscape as it is. And even with that, I'm still definitely topping more than I'm bottoming. Suffice to say, consider when you're looking at providers that their chosen position identifier might involve more nuance than you think. Anything with the word "versatile" in it requires a conversation. The broad demographic assumptions above are mostly true, but be careful applying those assumptions to individual providers!

The steam room at Equinox Rockefeller Center is excellent. But they do patrol it periodically, so it's not entirely a safe space. You have to keep your wits about you.