Do you discuss hiring guys with friends?

[muslnicknj]

This seems to be a taboo subject with my friends - I can honestly say the conversation has never come up. I sometimes wonder how many of my friends have hired - or if they wonder about me. Anyway, just curious what others’ experiences have been. How did the subject come up in conversation? Do you compare notes on hires? 

[+ keroscenefire]

Only really one friend. It kind of came up in terms of him jokingly thinking he about hiring a female sex worker after he was experiencing a significant drought in his love life. I suggested he try it and that I had hired a male sex worker once and enjoyed it. He was surprised but I actually think its good to normalize sex work. I think more people hire than we realize. 

[+ Charlie]

The subject rarely came up in casual conversation when I was younger, because it seemed to be taken for granted that you were a loser if you had to pay for it. However, I joined this site when I was in my late 50s, because it was a place to discuss the subject in an objective manner. Of course, that was about the time that the Internet was invented, which changed the way a lot of things were discussed.

Edited January 3, 2023 by Charlie

[MscleLovr]

I used to discuss hiring with two close friends (but one died a few years ago: he was Expat on here). 
 

It started when I was open about my love-life, and I discussed hiring. The surviving friend with whom I discuss this has a different take on life, and we enjoy a wide-ranging discussion on the business. 

[John]

No

[+ KensingtonHomo]

Occasionally with select friends, but we never go into details. I find younger people (millennials and younger) are way more open than Gen X or older. 

[Act25]

I have a few close friends who know I hire guys.  It's also part of my coming-out story as the first guy I ever kissed was a young man form M4RN (I came out later in life).  Although that part of the story seems to get dropped when coming out to family or straight friends.  

[misterhumphries]

No. But mainly because it's never come up. I wouldn't have any issues discussing it with a man open to the idea.

[cany10011]

Three of my very good friends know I hire. One of them even started hiring on the side... he spends so much on them, well almost as much as I do, but I am single. He has a pied a terre on the UWS that he stays in after work and has them over. Another few friends just think I am very lucky with hot young twunks. 

[+ The Big Guy]

I have not done this but like @misterhumphries I would if someone else brought it up first.  

[+ glennnnn]

Yes. With a few select friends and family members. The young ones were very accepting and supportive.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[+ JEC]

No.    I have a few friends I met here on the forum who I openly discuss with, but not outside of this forum - there is too much judgement and negativity about the topic.

[TruHart1]

Yes, with a select few supportive gay friends. In fact, one friend was really fascinated when I told him about my hiring of Andrew Justice, (back when Andrew was traveling around the country) so I hired him for that friend as a birthday gift that year!

 I also have a close friend who is bisexual (he’s married to a woman!) who loves for me to share (with ALL the sordid details!) my best hiring experiences with him.

TruHart1 😎

[jcmiami1]

I have two friends who I actually met through this site whom we discuss it but, outside of that, nobody else. Unfortunately the stigma of the “dirty disease riddled” sex worker still prevails in many minds. Interesting enough I’m Cuban and heard many tales of married men visiting brothels in Cuba as a very common occurrence with no judgements.

[misterhumphries]

1 hour ago, The Big Guy said:

I have not done this but like @misterhumphries I would if someone else brought it up first.  

Right. I'm not ashamed of anything I choose to do.

[misterhumphries]

1 hour ago, JEC said:

No.    I have a few friends I met here on the forum who I openly discuss with, but not outside of this forum - there is too much judgement and negativity about the topic.

I hope you recognize the hypocrisy. The end result of an escort encounter  is some type of sexual encounter with a stranger. Same as the result on any of the hundreds of hook-up apps. For some reason, the bigotry seems to rear its ugly  head if an exchange of money is involved.

[+ azdr0710]

I've only told one very liberal bisexual female friend of mine (when it seemed appropriate to mention it) ......she was mildly surprised/amused at first, but then told me to "be careful"......I asked, "do you mean be careful about getting beat up, robbed, or killed?", but she meant the health aspects of it!.....

otherwise, other than forum friends, my regular "real world" friends are so mainstream that they would just be too freaked out by the utter concept of it......plus I'm barely out to anybody, anyway......

[+ jessmapex]

I have a cautionary tale on this topic.

I started hiring in my late twenties/early 30s. Almost 20 yrs ago. I had several close gay friends - a few were especially close and remained close until a year or so ago. I was always honest with them and told them about my lifestyle which I summarized as my gay friends were my family and my romantic needs were outsourced to external vendors i.e escorts.

A couple of these friends also knew descriptions of some of the guys I met and about my good and bad experiences. 

My general thinking was as I was honest and upfront about my choices, it should be ok. One friend expressed minor concerns and others being very progressive were non-judgemental. This lifestyle choice never seemed to come between our friendships. These friendships were my primary support structure.

Fast forward twenty years later, as the pandemic and related stresses rolled in, and as the political polarization grew, one of the progressive friends who could not hold a job down and over the years grew somewhat jealous of my modest success (basic ability to have a good paying job for all these years) had a fall out with me after getting drunk. The words that came out of his mouth were eye-opening. He said you might be successful, but you pay for s*x. "You are a pedophile that you go after young guys" ( I have never been with anyone under 23 - but I do admit my preference is for escorts between 25-35 ). He called me all sorts of names. The alcohol and built in jealousy brought out how he really felt about what I thought was an honest and upfront lifestyle that I personally have no qualms about as long as there is mutual consent and no exploitation. Another close friend, who departed a year before this one due to political differences (he was tea-party supporter and later a Trumpster and I am somewhat left of the center) which he grew especially sensitive about in the polarized pandemic years, also mentioned about me 'hiring hookers' as one of my bad traits in our final argument.

So 20-21 years ..after being very close friends - almost equivalent of a family - I realized that friends, no matter how progressive, harbored negative feelings toward my ability to hire the best looking guys to have some fun. Those came out eventually despite them telling me it was cool with them through the years.

So, my advice is do not overshare. Gay friendships fall apart, friends are not family. They will use this against you when they no longer want to be your friends. 

With this experience, I now have become very introvert. 

 

 

Edited January 4, 2023 by jessmapex

[KeepItReal]

No. There are some things I consider private. My hobby of hiring, my net worth/annual earnings and the Justin Bieber blow up doll I have in the back of the closet in the hallway are a few examples of things I do not share with anyone. 🤫

[Medin]

54 minutes ago, jessmapex said:

I have a cautionary tell on this topic.

I started hiring in my late twenties/early 30s. Almost 20 yrs ago. I had several close gay friends - a few were especially close and remained close until a year or so ago. I was always honest with them and told them about my lifestyle which I summarized as my gay friends were my family and my romantic needs were outsourced to external vendors i.e escorts.

A couple of these friends also knew descriptions of some of the guys I met and about my good and bad experiences. 

My general thinking was as I was honest and upfront about my choices, it should be ok. One friend expressed minor concerns and others being very progressive were non-judgemental. This lifestyle choice never seemed to come between our friendships. These friendships were my primary support structure.

Fast forward twenty years later, as the pandemic and related stresses rolled in, and as the political polarization grew, one of the progressive friends who could not hold a job down and over the years grew somewhat jealous of my modest success (basic ability to have a good paying job for all these years) had a fall out with me after getting drunk. The words that came out of his mouth were eye-opening. He said you might be successful, but you pay for s*x. "You are a pedophile that you go after young guys" ( I have never been with anyone under 23 - but I do admit my preference is for escorts between 25-35 ). He called me all sorts of names. The alcohol and built in jealousy brought out how he really felt about what I thought was an honest and upfront lifestyle that I personally have no qualms about as long as there is mutual consent and no exploitation. Another close friend, who departed a year before this one due to political differences (he was tea-party supporter and later a Trumpster and I am somewhat left of the center) which he grew especially sensitive about in the polarized pandemic years, also mentioned about me 'hiring hookers' as one of my bad traits in our final argument.

So 20-21 years ..after being very close friends - almost equivalent of a family - I realized that friends, no matter how progressive, harbored negative feelings toward my ability to hire the best looking guys to have some fun. Those came out eventually despite them telling me it was cool with them through the years.

So, my advice is do not overshare. Gay friendships fall apart, friends are not family. They will use this against you when they no longer want to be your friends. 

With this experience, I now have become very introvert. 

 

 

I was going to say just the opposite.  In my experience, families fall apart and tend to be more judgmental.  My chosen family (friends) is always there for me.  

[Rudynate]

My husband knows but nobody else.  We’re both a little on the kinky side, so it’s natural that we wouldn’t have secrets about sex. 

[Rudynate]

3 hours ago, azdr0710 said:

I've only told one very liberal bisexual female friend of mine (when it seemed appropriate to mention it) ......she was mildly surprised/amused at first, but then told me to "be careful"......I asked, "do you mean be careful about getting beat up, robbed, or killed?", but she meant the health aspects of it!.....

otherwise, other than forum friends, my regular "real world" friends are so mainstream that they would just be too freaked out by the utter concept of it......plus I'm barely out to anybody, anyway......

On the DL…an outlaw in the old style!!

[LostUpstate]

Yes, I tell my closer gay friends, but I don’t share it with my straight friends, whether male or female. 

[PiSquared]

As a closeted bi married man I have only shared my experience of Rentmen with my one best friend. He was a college roommate who supports me and my explorations. 

[+ nycman]

 Nope. 

The only exception is someone I started dating. 
I was adamant about honesty…I still don’t regret it. 

Everyone else? It’s none of their fucking business,
and the few times the conversation has drifted in
that "direction", their responses have been quite 
negative. And so…I change the topic.