Do you discuss hiring guys with friends?

[ICTJOCK]

I do discuss being hired by clients with friends.

[big-n-tall]

Yes and no. In general, I don't talk about hiring unless I'm directly asked. This goes for friends and providers. It's probably why I partly use the forum for an outlet (because of the anonymity).

However, I changed one aspect of this. After an incident, I no longer talk about my experiences (in detail) with a provider to another provider... even if directly asked. I've been burned by this because one provider miscommunicated info to another. Which I'm certain lead to the deterioration and end of one of the provider relationships with me. I mean there were other factors but I'm certain it was a part of the deterioration. Such is life.

 

Edited August 20, 2023 by big-n-tall

[+ goosh69]

On 1/3/2023 at 7:52 PM, DrownedBoy said:

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I only have one friend I ever discussed it with. He's straight and hired women a lot in the past (and slept around in general, even while engaged), so it was pretty easy to talk about. The hardest part was that every so often, one of us would give the other TMI.

However, he's since been married and had a kid, and he's been rather clear that talking about such things now would probably end our friendship. I can't blame him.

So I appreciate this site and encourage others to join, as it's currently the only place I can talk about this hobby.

Yes, I’ll text my best friend screen shots and more if I am meeting a new guy JUST IN CASE he turns out to be a thief or psycho killer. 

[steve10025]

Yes I do! Not everyone, of course, but my friends are pretty non-judgmental (otherwise I wouldn't be friends with them) and I prefer not to have secrets.  I even discuss this with straight musician friends and recently talked about it with a very cool older female jazz musician friend ... her response was, "hmm, I should consider doing that! sounds really sensible and fun."  Btw, that's why I like this site - it takes the world of sex work out of the shadows.

[Jamie21]

On 8/19/2023 at 5:48 PM, ICTJOCK said:

I do discuss being hired by clients with friends.

Me too. Most of my friends are intrigued by my job and like to ask questions. I know some of them watch my porn films. There’s some friends, or probably more accurate to call them associates or acquaintances who I’d not volunteer any information about what I do. I don’t have any shame or embarrassment about it but I think these people might be judgemental and I don’t know them well enough to gauge their reaction. 

[dutchal]

On 1/3/2023 at 11:04 AM, muslnicknj said:

This seems to be a taboo subject with my friends - I can honestly say the conversation has never come up. I sometimes wonder how many of my friends have hired - or if they wonder about me. Anyway, just curious what others’ experiences have been. How did the subject come up in conversation? Do you compare notes on hires? 

Only here.

[Simon Suraci]

Mostly just here on CoM. Sometimes with other providers, typically for mutual safety and expediency. Clients ask me a lot but I keep things general. Nothing that would identify someone or compromise anyone.

I share a little with clients who ask, mostly to describe what is possible. It gives them ideas, inspiration, and entertainment they’re hiring me to provide, in the same way I would tell a bemusing anecdote about some other part of my life.

Outside of that, zilch. Even my partner doesn’t want to know. We’re working on that. Not that I feel the need to share every lurid detail, but seems we have a ways to go feeling more mutually comfortable and open about my work. He knows of course, but it’s tough being in a relationship with a provider. He struggles with it. For us, it’s a journey.

This work pays the bills I can’t otherwise afford to pay if I stayed 100% in my first career as an architect. We’re building our farm and life together, and that makes us happy. I’m thankful I can do what I do and that clients find value in it. The work makes the rest of my life possible. We don’t like to dwell on all the men (and occasional women) I see. It’s emotionally exhausting and I get that, so I let it go. We discuss it when he asks.

[Guest]

On 1/3/2023 at 3:50 PM, jessmapex said:

... He said you might be successful, but you pay for s*x. "You are a pedophile that you go after young guys" ( I have never been with anyone under 23 - but I do admit my preference is for escorts between 25-35 ). He called me all sorts of names. The alcohol and built in jealousy brought out how he really felt about what I thought was an honest and upfront lifestyle that I personally have no qualms about as long as there is mutual consent and no exploitation. Another close friend, who departed a year before this one due to political differences (he was tea-party supporter and later a Trumpster and I am somewhat left of the center) which he grew especially sensitive about in the polarized pandemic years, also mentioned about me 'hiring hookers' as one of my bad traits in our final argument...

These hateful people are not your friends, and I wouldn't give a rat's ass what they thought. They're the ones with the real problems. Don't let fucked up people adversely affect you. Some people can only feel better about themselves when they're putting others down. It's best to simply avoid those people. 

[MuscleDaddyRWC]

I have a good friend and we discuss who we hire (and kind of rate them), make suggestions for the other, and sometimes make each other aware of our plans "in case".

Another friend knows and we talk about my hires because his relationship is currently closed and he lives vicariously through me. 

[Midwest_Man]

I was in Puerto Vallarta a few years ago with a group of gay friends. By the end of week we had all had several massages from the boys working the in massage parlors and openly discussed the experiences.  A few of us have since continued hiring masseurs from the various websites and occasionally compare notes/recommendations.  Other than that I don't discuss hiring with anybody.