Do you discuss hiring guys with friends?

[JayJxn]

I have brought this up with only one friend along with my penchant for erotic massages. He condemns both as hiring sex workers. Of course I live in a conservative state where even gay men fart red gas. 🤦🏻  Has made me shy about brining up the subject with anyone else. 

[+ DrownedBoy]

T

I only have one friend I ever discussed it with. He's straight and hired women a lot in the past (and slept around in general, even while engaged), so it was pretty easy to talk about. The hardest part was that every so often, one of us would give the other TMI.

However, he's since been married and had a kid, and he's been rather clear that talking about such things now would probably end our friendship. I can't blame him.

So I appreciate this site and encourage others to join, as it's currently the only place I can talk about this hobby.

[Enronnja]

Never explicitly, but with one friend. You just don't know people too, they can easily use this against you.

[BonVivant]

Generally: Don’t share it. Reason: most people don’t understand it and won’t support it. There is a negative view of it in the USA (it’s a very middle class values / Puritan society). Plus there is some jealousy to it cause you get access to way hotter guys than if you didn’t (and most can’t afford it). Better to just enjoy, flaunt in public, but never reveal the deal. 

[BaronArtz]

Never with anyone outside this forum.

I have discussed my exploits with forum members over the years, via PM.  Of those, I ended up meeting 3 gentlemen 'live' for a morning coffee or a lunch.  Great guys!   I enjoyed meeting with them, sharing stories and recommending escorts and masseurs to each other.  One of the guys was well-connected with off the grid providers.  That is how I got to hire JustinHerringgg a year before he put up his escort ad.

Back in the Club 20 days, I did once meet with a group of forum members.  That was great fun as well, although I got pretty tipsy and spent more time getting lap dances from the strippers.

I have not done the Palm Springs event yet.

 

[+ Coolwave35]

All

the 

time! 
 

I really enjoy sharing tales of my sexual exploits with paid providers with at least a dozen of my real life friends. I regularly host house parties, ski trips, great adventure outings etc with a mix of personal friends and escorts. It keeps the mood lively and provides access for my regular friends to my favorite escorts. 
 

One of my favorite memories was a ski trip with 11 guys. 6 were escorts and 5 were my best gay friends. Two escorts literally dragged a mattress out of the bedroom onto the kitchen floor. They started going at it. A regular friend brought this to my attention and said “do you think I can join them?”  I said my suspicion is that if they wanted privacy, they’d have left the mattress in the bedroom. I’d ask, but I’m sure all are welcome. I was right, 3 quickly became 7. That weekend included rounds of strip poker, shirtless skiing, blow jobs in the loft where my orally talented friend just stayed up there and guys would periodically ascend the stairs and come down smiling. 
 

My friends have never expressed a stigma and hiring is such a substantial part of my life, and escorts are always around that it would be impossible not to discuss and call it what it is. 
 

Since my divorce, escorts are usually my plus one at dinner parties. My neighbors are a gay couple in their 50’s. They asked me point blank how I land such hot guys in their 20’s. I said it’s very easy. My checks always clear. Needless to say, they’ve never had a party I wasn’t invited to and my guests and I are usually the last to leave after the hot tub cover comes off. 
 

My motto is sharing is caring. 
 

 

[+ poolboy48220]

I have one friend that I know from the local strip club that I discuss hires with.  I have two other friends, a married gay couple, that I have considered telling, but figured they would not let it go.  Apart from that, it's just y'all. 

[Jay DC]

I have two very close friends (one straight, one gay) who I have spoken with about my pro friends. I’ve known both for 25+ years and trust them completely. When I first started hiring, I used to let one of them know where I was going because I was inexperienced in hiring and was sure I was going to get murdered or lose a kidney. At least my friend could give the info to the police if I was never heard from again. After my first few hires, l realized almost all the pros I met were trustworthy and ethical, more so than some of the “civilian” friends I’ve met.
 

My friends never judged me and understood that my hiring was part of a journey for me. Plus I sometimes travel with these friends (separately) and they now understand if I make private plans for an hour or two-it’s nice not having to lie or sneak around  One friend wanted to try hiring based on my outstanding experiences. Even though we live 2,000 miles apart, this is now another shared interest we have. Having a friend to discuss it with is fun and sort of liberating in a way. 
 

If it’s the right friend, it’s good to have someone to confide in and learn from each other’s experiences.  
 

But, since my hobby may have elements that could be construed as illegal by some people, there is a trust issue about sharing the info with just anyone. I retired early but if I wanted some kind of job, I wouldn’t want a reputation as someone who pursues illegal activities. Law enforcement seem mainly concerned with human trafficking/exploitation (rightly so) but don’t seem to care much about m4m companionship unless a network of hard drugs or physical abuse are part of the picture. After the rentboy raid, I wondered if there would be a crackdown on exchanging money for time,  but I haven’t seen it. If only consenting adults in a private location without any drugs are participating and I called law enforcement to report a suspected prostitution crime, I think they’d tell me to mind my own business.
 

All these words to say I think a trusted friend or two to share with is good and can be a safety net but only sharing with a very limited of people is the judicious way to go. 
 

 

[+ KensingtonHomo]

14 hours ago, jessmapex said:

So 20-21 years ..after being very close friends - almost equivalent of a family - I realized that friends, no matter how progressive, harbored negative feelings toward my ability to hire the best looking guys to have some fun. Those came out eventually despite them telling me it was cool with them through the years.

I'm not aiming this specifically at your Jess, but there are usually hints as to whom you can share this kind of information with. The most important issue is whether or not people knowing you hire can impact your personal or financial well-being. I wouldn't tell anyone I work with or anyone adjacent to that. Like others here, I have a few close friends I share this info with, all of whom are very sex-positive and pro-sex work. The first item I would look for in someone to share this with is their views on sex work. If someone is not in the "sex work is work" category, I will not broach it. If they have sexual hang-ups, nope. 

[+ Pensant]

Only to a fellow-poster from the Hoo-boy times. We had similar interests and spoke and texted by phone regularly, although we never met. Several providers were aware of our relationship since we often provided referrals. Unfortunately, he had a dire experience in early 2008 and never hired again, although we’ve chatted a few times since.

[pubic_assistance]

I think discussing your sex life in ANY way, should be with a very limited and very trusted audience.

As stated here previously, providing people ammunition to use against you is never smart.

I don't have any in-person relationships with anyone on the forum so I have no risk in the game, and I am free to share. Probably why I enjoy discussing here. No way to have it blow up in my face, since nobody knows me in real life.

Edited January 5, 2023 by pubic_assistance

[dbar123]

The only ones I discuss it with are other escorts since they seem to be the most interested….especially if the encounters are unusual 

[maninsoma]

I've discussed it frequently with a few other friends who also hire on occasion.  I don't even recall how the conversation first came up.  I think I've also discussed it in passing with a couple of other friends, but it wasn't a topic of ongoing conversation.  I haven't discussed it at all with most people I know.

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

I have one GenX straight friend who not only understands, but reasons it's easier and simpler for all involved than the show of buying dinner and drinks for 3 dates before the girl finally puts out.  Although he hasn't hired before, he said he always said girls should just ask for the $ up front on the first date and get it over with.

Ironically, it's my gay friends who have bigger trouble understanding why I hire some guys for sex when I have plenty of sex with other guys for free.

[Milo Janus]

Everyone outside of my family knows.

[tennisjock]

 No .. not in RL. I do discuss with a few forum members privately as we have reached out to each other and share similar tastes etc. I also have a guy who I met on Seeking 4 years ago that i still meet with 2 -3 times a month and we discuss who I have seen or want to see etc

[Jamie21]

6 hours ago, Coolwave35 said:

All

the 

time! 
 

I really enjoy sharing tales of my sexual exploits with paid providers with at least a dozen of my real life friends. I regularly host house parties, ski trips, great adventure outings etc with a mix of personal friends and escorts. It keeps the mood lively and provides access for my regular friends to my favorite escorts. 
 

One of my favorite memories was a ski trip with 11 guys. 6 were escorts and 5 were my best gay friends. Two escorts literally dragged a mattress out of the bedroom onto the kitchen floor. They started going at it. A regular friend brought this to my attention and said “do you think I can join them?”  I said my suspicion is that if they wanted privacy, they’d have left the mattress in the bedroom. I’d ask, but I’m sure all are welcome. I was right, 3 quickly became 7. That weekend included rounds of strip poker, shirtless skiing, blow jobs in the loft where my orally talented friend just stayed up there and guys would periodically ascend the stairs and come down smiling. 
 

My friends have never expressed a stigma and hiring is such a substantial part of my life, and escorts are always around that it would be impossible not to discuss and call it what it is. 
 

Since my divorce, escorts are usually my plus one at dinner parties. My neighbors are a gay couple in their 50’s. They asked me point blank how I land such hot guys in their 20’s. I said it’s very easy. My checks always clear. Needless to say, they’ve never had a party I wasn’t invited to and my guests and I are usually the last to leave after the hot tub cover comes off. 
 

My motto is sharing is caring. 
 

 

Ha ha nothing better than a group of guys having fun without any hang ups about who’s watching or where it’s happening. 

The mattress anecdote reminds me of a sex party I was at. A mattress was provided in the kitchen / diner for guests to use, as well as the lounge couches and bedroom. I was engaged with a couple of guys on the mattress as other guests stepped over us as they took pizza from the oven to the dining table. Unfortunately someone got caught in our tangle of bodies as he tried to step over us and I ended up with a few slices of Pepperoni pizza on my bum. I wouldn’t have minded but I’m vegetarian…

[+ nycman]

19 minutes ago, Jamie21 said:

I ended up with a few slices of Pepperoni pizza on my bum. I wouldn’t have minded but I’m vegetarian…

So….your asshole ate the pepperoni?

[Jamie21]

14 minutes ago, nycman said:

So….your asshole ate the pepperoni?

Ha ha, nearly… I was lubed up! 

It would have been hot though…literally 😂. 

[cany10011]

44 minutes ago, Jamie21 said:

Ha ha nothing better than a group of guys having fun without any hang ups about who’s watching or where it’s happening. 

The mattress anecdote reminds me of a sex party I was at. A mattress was provided in the kitchen / diner for guests to use, as well as the lounge couches and bedroom. I was engaged with a couple of guys on the mattress as other guests stepped over us as they took pizza from the oven to the dining table. Unfortunately someone got caught in our tangle of bodies as he tried to step over us and I ended up with a few slices of Pepperoni pizza on my bum. I wouldn’t have minded but I’m vegetarian…

I wish I got invited to those type of parties...

[+ MakeMeCowboy]

Yes, one.  Of course, he's the guy who introduced me to hiring (and has a higher profile job than I.) Our 'secret' has endured over 25 years.

I'm open about my lifestyle but keep all sexual details to myself.  And, in general, I'm not interested in hearing about others' sexual proclivities.

[CuriousByNature]

2 hours ago, Jamie21 said:

Ha ha, nearly… I was lubed up! 

It would have been hot though…literally 😂. 

Most important question: Was there pineapple on the pizza?

[Jamie21]

Just now, CuriousByNature said:

Most important question: Was there pineapple on the pizza?

Oh God no…I wouldn’t go to a party where they serve pizza with pineapple. (Although ….pro tip: do drink pineapple before a party, your cum tastes delicious 😉). 

[bobsboy51]

Outside of this forum, I've only shared details with my two best gay friends - who were the ones who brought the idea of hiring up first with me (separately) as they'd been hiring long before I did and they never had any shame about it (this is ~15-20 years back).  Neither hires now, but I sometimes send them a list of my potential 'new friends' to get their opinions.  The one friend and I have totally different tastes in men so he always hates my choices but oh well! 

[+ DrownedBoy]

13 hours ago, BonVivant said:

Generally: Don’t share it. Reason: most people don’t understand it and won’t support it. There is a negative view of it in the USA (it’s a very middle class values / Puritan society). Plus there is some jealousy to it cause you get access to way hotter guys than if you didn’t (and most can’t afford it). Better to just enjoy, flaunt in public, but never reveal the deal. 

Pretty much. You should only discuss hiring with friends who also hire (as I and several others here do).

All the reasons here come into play. America's rather hypocritical attitudes towards sex work fuel people's jealousy. And with whole "woke" corporate attitudes nowadays, if your hiring becomes public, you'll probably be fired for PR reasons.... even as one of my former CEOs (married with kids) hires Latino boys whenever he can.