providers requesting 5star reviews on RM

[+ RyanDean]

Recently had a "meh" encounter with an established CoM-recommended gent. In the subsequent 24hrs, routine pleasantries were exchanged via text. A week after the meetup, I receive another text politely but directly requesting that I leave a five star review, referencing our post-meetup pleasantries as evidence of my having a great time and noting that "things have been slow lately"... This particular gent has 100+ RM reviews -- with most recent from April 2026 -- and he currently has a 5.0 rating. 

I'm perplexed about how to proceed.

1. I could just ignore the request -- which is typically not how I roll, so it feels weird and uncomfortable to do so.
2. I could leave the 5star review -- which wouldn't be honest but under no circumstances would I mess with any gent's overall rating just because I could.
3. I could reply to him explaining that I no longer leave reviews on RM, due past (not great) experiences doing so -- which is basically true but possibly irrelevant
4. I could do something else that I'm not thinking of...

I do not anticipate booking with this particular gent again.

And I don't know that I'm looking for guidance. Just needed to shake this annoyance off.

PS: as an aside, I find that I'm mostly okay with tipping culture run amok but it's the unrelenting loop of "please leave a rating to let us know how well we served you today" feedback requests that is clearly working my nerves... 


 

[cany10011]

I just tell them the truth that I'm not a paying member on RM and cannot post reviews.

Edited 20 hours ago by cany10011

[SecretProvider]

Without knowing WHY it was only 'meh' and not GREAT - I can only speak from a providers point of view - and that would be: 

To leave a less than 5 star review would immediately drop his rating to 4.5 and it would never be 5 star ever again. It would result in less work for him in perpetuity and impact his career forever. Unless he has done something that warrants that: please don't. 

If you still feel feedback is warranted without such severe consequences, option 4 is to send it to him keeping in mind the principles of (is it kind, is it necessary, is it helpful and is it true) I think in this case: it would be if you are explaining to him how it would go from 'meh' to 'great'.

So if you can't ignore him (I can almost guarantee that is what he would prefer) - let him know why you felt it wasn't 5 star and secondly, what he can do to improve for the next person in text.

If it's just that the chemistry wasn't there, and there is no advice to how to improve the experience, just leave it be.  

 

p.s - to be clear I personally have never asked for a review, and I think do think there are places for poor reviews. 'meh' is not one of them. 

Edited 20 hours ago by SecretProvider

[Ichabod]

If you were not planning on leaving a review before he asked for one, and you can't honestly give him a good review, and you are not planning on seeing him again, I think you should find a way to get comfortable with ignoring his request. There really is no upside (for either of you) to continuing the conversation.

[Mark_fl]

The whole review system is silly. 5 should be top of the top. 3 should be meh. A 4 should be an above average rating. As it currently stands, the ratings are meaningless.

When a 4 rating is an insult to the provider, the system is whack. 

Would be great if there was a 1-5 scale for several categories like a restaurant kiosk has.

1-5 for several categories:

Looks like pictures

Communication

Timeliness 

Services as described

Enthusiasm/attitude

Cleanliness

Price

You should have to be registered to vote, and the providers would be allowed to similarly rate clients in a forum that only they could see:

Appearance

Cleanliness 

Generosity

Communication 

Attitude

Services only as requested in advance

 

 

Or something like that. I shouldn't be afraid that a provider will be upset with a 4 rating. Maybe they should even be confidential (only visible to the RM site to verify legitimacy).

It would also allow the client to decide if something that brought a rating down from 5 mattered to them at all.

 

[Nightowl]

I don’t respond to most survey requests about anything so I would ignore this one too. Most surveys are simplistic (5 stars to rate the entire experience) and the ones that aren’t are badly written.  They’re a waste of time. How many times have we all been confronted with five choices ranging from “below expectations” to “exceeded expectations?” If my expectations were low, “exceeded expectations” just says “you weren’t as bad as I expected.” The message the recipient receives, however, is “hot damn!  I’m winning!” because he doesn’t know what my expectations were in the first place (and didn’t ask for them). Similarly, if my expectations were stellar but the situation wasn’t as fantastic as usual, “below expectations” is a knife to the heart of the one who asked for the survey. In the case of a provider, I’m with @Mark_fl:  If you give me some categories with clear baselines of performance in each category and the opportunity to respond at length, I’ll consider responding.   I’d love the opportunity to say “His communication skills were exceptional, although he was very hard to understand when my dick was in his mouth”….

[mtaabq]

LOL! I left a 4-star review earlier today. Then I read this post. Truthfully, it wasn’t a bad experience; it WAS a very good one. It simply wasn’t 5-star. Before my most recent 4-star review I’ve left one other 4-star review (several years ago) and the provider at the time was furious. The provider I reviewed today already had a 4-star review from another client so his overall number was already skewed. AND I previously left a different provider a 5-star review who didn’t deserve one, which I finally had to delete. I am so conflicted; certainly I don’t want to adversely affect anyone’s income stream. Four-star is not a bad rating; it simply means that something was missing to make it 5-star. Like the OP I was asked to post a review by the provider, although I was not specifically asked to post a 5-star review. @SecretProvider makes a very good point. I need to reconcile this in my head and take the appropriate action. 

Edited 16 hours ago by mtaabq
Corrections/clarifications and punctuation needed

[TxDaddyBear]

I never ask for reviews. I get lots of wonderful feedback from my clients, but seldomly do I actually get a review. I think it is a mixture of clients not being paying members to the site and discretion from guys being away on a business trip or at the gym. I also get irritated when an app or person pushes me to give feedback. It usually has the opposite effect.

[+ Jamie21]

If you have to ask for a review then you don’t deserve a good one! Reviews should be voluntarily given if they are to have any value. If my client says he loved the session immediately afterwards I sometimes say ‘feel free to leave a review if you want to’ because of course I love to see the feedback. If they didn’t like the session I’d rather they told me personally but it’s their call. 

What would I do if I was in your position? I’d probably ignore his request. If pressed I’d tell him he was great but not 5 star so I wouldn’t want to spoil his rating by giving him a 4, and I’d tell him why he wasn’t a 5. I’d stress that I still enjoyed it etc. Because he asked there’s no good outcome however. He simply shouldn’t have asked you. 
 

[+ SirBillybob]

5 hours ago, SecretProvider said:

Without knowing WHY it was only 'meh' and not GREAT - I can only speak from a providers point of view - and that would be: 

To leave a less than 5 star review would immediately drop his rating to 4.5 and it would never be 5 star ever again. It would result in less work for him in perpetuity and impact his career forever. Unless he has done something that warrants that: please don't. 

If you still feel feedback is warranted without such severe consequences, option 4 is to send it to him keeping in mind the principles of (is it kind, is it necessary, is it helpful and is it true) I think in this case: it would be if you are explaining to him how it would go from 'meh' to 'great'.

So if you can't ignore him (I can almost guarantee that is what he would prefer) - let him know why you felt it wasn't 5 star and secondly, what he can do to improve for the next person in text.

If it's just that the chemistry wasn't there, and there is no advice to how to improve the experience, just leave it be.  

 

p.s - to be clear I personally have never asked for a review, and I think do think there are places for poor reviews. 'meh' is not one of them. 

How would it drop to 4.5 stars average overall? With 100+ existing ratings and a 5.00 average, one additional but lower rating (assuming 100 baseline ratings) of 4 stars would drop the average to 4.99 … 504/101 vs 505/101. Does the rating system round down by 0.5 increments even if well above the midpoint of two nonfractionated scores? I thought it would round up to 5 in this case. At greater than 100 ratings it’s conceivable that not all previous ratings were 5. I’ll have to look at patterns with other advertisers.

——-

Addendum: I see averages are in 0.1 to 1.0 increments beyond the rounded nonfractionated scores, so I think the 4.99 (or anything 4.95 or greater) would be 5, and an average score as low as 4.50 would require an average rating of between 4.45 and 4.54 at the hundredths level. 

Edited 14 hours ago by SirBillybob

[SecretProvider]

30 minutes ago, Mark_fl said:

You should have to be registered to vote, and the providers would be allowed to similarly rate clients in a forum that only they could see:

Services only as requested in advance

"Client refused to send minimal deposit and insisted I pay for my own airfare to go to appointment 🫠"

32 minutes ago, Mark_fl said:

I shouldn't be afraid that a provider will be upset with a 4 rating.

You don't have to be afraid, just simply be aware of the impact, and ask yourself "will the impact justify this action?"  Some interactions deserve to have poor reviews. In this business a 4 star review is a poor review. 

I am sensing there may be a generational gap here, so let me illustrate more the impact - keeping in the forefront of your mind I have never said 'don't leave bad reviews when warranted'. A online review is modern day version to writing down a notice and sticking it up on a restaurants door for EVERY customer to see before they enter, for the next 5 years (Or maybe a better analogy is placing a stone plaque on the entrance - since they stay there forever.) It is not like a letter to the editor in a newspaper only read by people that week, or chatting with friends about whether you think they would like the movie or not.

It is published FOREVER. Superglued to that provider for eternity like a scarlet letter. Would you feel comfortable posting a note like that to warn people? If yes - write the 4 star review. If no, then don't. 

If a server forgot to add  ketchup in your to go bag with fries, you wouldn't feel like posting the note (I would hope). If the server overcharged your card hundreds of $$$ and then refused to give you a refund, you would leave that note. If the server didn't put ice in your water, you wouldn't feel like posting one, but if they served you a drink in a unwashed glass with cockroaches in it - you would and rightly so. 

35 minutes ago, Mark_fl said:

When a 4 rating is an insult to the provider, the system is whack. 

It is not an insult, it just has a disproportionate impact than it should. ( Well, actually now I think about it more - you are correct it is an insult, because of the impact.  Maybe that IS a good way to view it. If you want to insult your provider - leave 4 stars. If you don't, don't.)

You are correct that reviews on RM is not a great system. An imperfect system, but it is all we have to work with. For legal reasons the text written on the reviews are only visible to people who are aware that they can do so by using a VPN. All people see is 'this person left me unhappy/unsatisfied', and the inference is 'you will be unhappy too'. 

I guess the other question to ask yourself is - would I hire someone with 4 star review? If you wouldn't, think of that before you leave one. And if you would - just be aware that despite it not bothering you - it will turn many people off from hiring that person again, they will never be able to recover that 5 star rating even if they see 100 more 5 star appointments. If you think that is deserved, by all means go for it. 

If you take this comment as intended Have a nice 5 star day.  If you choose to be offended, have a 4 star one. 

[MikeBiDude]

Hasn’t it been verified that providers can ask RentMen to remove reviews? So a 4 star that’s pulling down an overall rating could disappear. We’ve seen it.

[SecretProvider]

3 minutes ago, SirBillybob said:

Does the rating system round down by 0.5 increments even if well above the midpoint of two nonfractionated scores? I thought it would round up to 5 in this case. I’ll have to look at patterns with other advertisers.

Yes, correct. They don't round it up. If you are able to find a provider with ONE 4 star review, and still have 5 star rating, please let me know so I can happily eat my words.  My understanding is they do not. 

EDIT  - I did some quick research - This provider for eg, has 85 reviews, all 5 star except ONE, which is 2 stars.   https://rentmen.eu/TylerxPeck/reviews/

So 85 reviews  x 5 stars = 420.  1 x review 2 stars = 2.  Total stars is 422. Divide Total stars by Total reviews  422 ÷ 85 = 4.96

So his score *should* be 5 stars, yet it shows as 4.5 still. 

EDIT (I am not tyler peck. I have never met tyler peck. I just picked the first person in NYC who has one bad review and still shows as not 5 star despite high number of reviews) 

[+ glutes]

I would block him.

[SecretProvider]

Just now, MikeBiDude said:

Hasn’t it been verified that providers can ask RentMen to remove reviews? So a 4 star that’s pulling down an overall rating could disappear. We’ve seen it.

If it was possible to pull down ALL bad reviews, there would be none on the site at all. 

Having said that, I have had a bad review removed -but I had to show evidence that the client was lying beyond a shadow of doubt before rentmen would agree to remove it. They did not make it easy. It took many back and forth emails, and they required documentary evidence before they acquiesced. I had to prove it wasn't just he said/she said moment. I would say if you want to leave a bad review and not have it removed if it is contested, be prepared to back it up with evidence. 

[+ SirBillybob]

19 minutes ago, SecretProvider said:

Yes, correct. They don't round it up. If you are able to find a provider with ONE 4 star review, and still have 5 star rating, please let me know so I can happily eat my words.  My understanding is they do not. 

EDIT  - I did some quick research - This provider for eg, has 85 reviews, all 5 star except ONE, which is 2 stars.   https://rentmen.eu/TylerxPeck/reviews/

So 85 reviews  x 5 stars = 420.  1 x review 2 stars = 2.  Total stars is 422. Divide Total stars by Total reviews  422 ÷ 85 = 4.96

So his score *should* be 5 stars, yet it shows as 4.5 still. 

EDIT (I am not tyler peck. I have never met tyler peck. I just picked the first person in NYC who has one bad review and still shows as not 5 star despite high number of reviews) 

See screenshots.

I’m seeing 5.0 average on Peck.

I looked up a local guy Dylan … 89 reviews: 83 at 5, 2 at 4, 1 at 2, 3 at 1 … average 4.81; platform depicts 4.8 as expected. 

[DMonDude]

33 minutes ago, MikeBiDude said:

Hasn’t it been verified that providers can ask RentMen to remove reviews? So a 4 star that’s pulling down an overall rating could disappear. We’ve seen it.

They can but it seems RM requires evidence for them to do that according to SecretProvider. Anecdotally, I see plenty of providers with 1, 2, 3, or 4 star reviews that have been there for months or even years. So they either are choosing to not ask to have those taken down or it's something that's not easy to do at will just because they feel like it. I'm sure there's been notable examples of review removals happening, but i don't think it's as widespread thing as members here think it is. At least specific to warranted negative reviews being removed without evidence.

Kind of related to this but going off what @SecretProvider said earlier about how one 4 star review can majorly impact a provider for all future booking clients and what not. Are RM reviews even really that important (specifically outside of CoM, where the the client is much more selective for quality)? Genuinely asking, because I've seen many provider profiles with shit reviews or no reviews who i know get clients regardless. One of my regulars i'd been seeing for a year has no reviews but has multiple clients both new and regular.

Another one i know personally only has two 1 star reviews on his page with both calling out the same issue (both very validly and i can corroborate myself), but I've seen his DMs and he still gets an obscene amount of messages and texts daily with people interested to book regardless of the bad reviews and he stays plenty busy with them. Anecdotal obviously, but it really seems to me that reviews aren't worth much (either positive or negative) unless you come to CoM where the bar for what's good is a lot higher. So i just find it hard to believe one non-5 star review pulling a providers average down to 4.8 is really doing any damage to their ability to book. Just seems the bulk of the average client browsing RM doesn't care much about the reviews if they are interested enough in the provider.

Maybe it's more an issue on RentMasseur than it is RentMen though?

Edited 14 hours ago by DMonDude

[SecretProvider]

@SirBillybob fascinating how we can both look at same provider and get a differing answer.  I couldn't understand how - but it appears the rent.men site is showing a more accurate number, whereas rentmen.eu is just showing the picture with 4.5 stars.  So i guess we are both right depending what version of the site you are using. 

On rentmen.eu a 4.8 does not get rounded up to 5 stars for Dylan,  but a 4.96 does go up to 5 stars (for tyler) and they both show as 4.5 star picture in rentmen.eu

This is all too much math for me right now, but I eat my words (with rent.men) Thanks for showing me this!

[+ SirBillybob]

37 minutes ago, SecretProvider said:

@SirBillybob fascinating how we can both look at same provider and get a differing answer.  I couldn't understand how - but it appears the rent.men site is showing a more accurate number, whereas rentmen.eu is just showing the picture with 4.5 stars.  So i guess we are both right depending what version of the site you are using. 

On rentmen.eu a 4.8 does not get rounded up to 5 stars for Dylan,  but a 4.96 does go up to 5 stars (for tyler) and they both show as 4.5 star picture in rentmen.eu

This is all too much math for me right now, but I eat my words (with rent.men) Thanks for showing me this!

Who knew?! An additional platform inconsistency to chew on. A 4.5 average without context is often a caution for consumers in today’s age, however warranted or not. These small differences can represent considerable reputational demotions. 

Edited 13 hours ago by SirBillybob

[+ SirBillybob]

This dynamic also occasionally occurs with Airbnb hosts, the scale quietly flipping from feedback to magnanimous compliance, albeit the added complexity of reviews sitting in mutual double-blind escrow. No such pact exists in the same manner for our hobby.

The minute the provider petitions for a 5, the scale collapses into a loyalty oath in which the majority of consumers are complicit. If a 4 or blanking (refraining from entering a 4 in spite of overall satisfaction) needs defending, 5 has already lost its meaning. 

Edited 13 hours ago by SirBillybob

[Mark_fl]

1 hour ago, SecretProvider said:

"Client refused to send minimal deposit and insisted I pay for my own airfare to go to appointment 🫠"

Not how it happened, but I find your obsession amusing. Another 4-star post. Well done.

[TBD]

I have had a guy say "i want this to be a 5 star experience" and it was not. His apartment was messy, stunk like weed and his photos were real but overly flattering. He did put effort in, and I could see he was trying. If pressed I would have given him a 3 or 4 star review for that. Suffice to say, I did not post that review. I just left it be. He wasn't a bad guy, and I did not want to leave a small business a bad review. He just was not what I would give 5 stars. 

Unless you want to give constructive feedback privately, I think in these cases @RyanDean the old saying 'no reply is a reply' is appropriate. 

I must confess - when I am looking at a provider and they have one or two less than stellar reviews - I do go and read those reviews, rather than the 5 star ones. I do it with hotels as well. I also check out who left the review and see if this is something they do often, or is it a one off. If they have lots of reviews and only one bad one, I will proceed with caution. Two and I keep looking. 

[Mark_fl]

1 hour ago, TBD said:

I must confess - when I am looking at a provider and they have one or two less than stellar reviews - I do go and read those reviews, rather than the 5 star ones. I do it with hotels as well.

I think this is normal. Often you can tell a bad review is the fault of the customer. All good reviews are generally the same, but a bad review tells you if there is a real problem. Was he late? No big deal. Things happen if there is only one such complaint. Pictures not accurate? Was it an old review? Maybe problem was fixed if not mentioned recently. 

Reviews are one guys opinion. I won't disregard a provider for one review.

[Luv2play]

10 hours ago, RyanDean said:

Recently had a "meh" encounter with an established CoM-recommended gent. In the subsequent 24hrs, routine pleasantries were exchanged via text. A week after the meetup, I receive another text politely but directly requesting that I leave a five star review, referencing our post-meetup pleasantries as evidence of my having a great time and noting that "things have been slow lately"... This particular gent has 100+ RM reviews -- with most recent from April 2026 -- and he currently has a 5.0 rating. 

I'm perplexed about how to proceed.

1. I could just ignore the request -- which is typically not how I roll, so it feels weird and uncomfortable to do so.
2. I could leave the 5star review -- which wouldn't be honest but under no circumstances would I mess with any gent's overall rating just because I could.
3. I could reply to him explaining that I no longer leave reviews on RM, due past (not great) experiences doing so -- which is basically true but possibly irrelevant
4. I could do something else that I'm not thinking of...

I do not anticipate booking with this particular gent again.

And I don't know that I'm looking for guidance. Just needed to shake this annoyance off.

PS: as an aside, I find that I'm mostly okay with tipping culture run amok but it's the unrelenting loop of "please leave a rating to let us know how well we served you today" feedback requests that is clearly working my nerves... 


 

These are coming from all sides now. I get them from my hair dresser, from hotels I stay at, from my car dealer when I take my car in for servicing and the odd escort, which actually happened to me in the last month. He asked me at the end of the session ( our second) and I did post a review. But I probably won’t see him again as the session was sort of meh, like yours. 
So there’s your answer. 

[TR1989]

I read most of the reviews for a masseur I’m interested in on RMass, but actually put more weight on my initial communication with the masseur when making a final decision whether to proceed. I’ve seen a particular masseur in SF three times - he has been pretty amazing. He has one negative review on RMass. But this negative review is what actually sealed the deal for me to see him b/c I really liked how he responded to the reviewer. Very classy and non-emotional.