What we look like - Why does it matter so much now?

[d.anders]

20 minutes ago, Monarchy79 said:

Simple Issue/Simple Solution.

If an escort asks for a picture and you don’t want to send one, don’t send one. 
 
Move on. 

Party pooper. 🙂  It's much more fun to come here and diss the rejection. Everyone needs a little therapy now and again.

4 hours ago, AlexW said:

I even told him I was looking forward to meeting him and that he was very handsome.

I was told this was a red flag. Telling a stranger that "he's very handsome" before meeting him implies you are not attractive. Of course the provider could be absolutely wrong, but red flags are still red flags.

[msenge]

That could be it. I complimented him before we met!

[HockeyMan]

Many clients, including myself, demand a lot from escorts. Many escorts are selective with clients. Sometimes they'll ask for stats or pics. They're not gonna go above and beyond for a client who puts no effort into their appearance.

That being said, escorts should exercise discretion when asking for photos. Deleting messages when needed, burner phone, etc all helps.

[msenge]

I agree, however I think this should be disclosed on their listing so there are no last minute surprises. 

[Nue2thegame]

22 hours ago, HockeyMan said:

That being said, escorts should exercise discretion when asking for photos. Deleting messages when needed, burner phone, etc all helps.

Agree but in reality many don’t. What happens in cyberspace stays in cyberspace. Forever. 

[Nikba]

Some younger providers also looking for connection, father figure, comfort zone, chemistry with much older guy, an ideal of daddy "body type",  look and of course personality. I was told, If all things match their imaginary ideal, it makes a lot easier for them to provide such services. Providing pictures, desire, and info on experiences of what to expect is a fair game for both sides for me as myself looking for specific look and activities. 

[d.anders]

On 3/28/2026 at 8:38 PM, AlexW said:

I complimented him before we met!

I think compliments are OK, you just have to be careful with the wording. Maybe better to say "Hot pics," than "I think you're very handsome."

[+ DrownedBoy]

I'm getting requests for face time, etc., from providers. You can be sure if they want a WhatsApp or SnapChat talk, they're not serious.

I continue to turn down any photo/facetime requests. Some younger providers turn the rest of the hiring process into a joke if you turn down the photos, so I have to cut them down to size and block them. Entitled little brats - if you only want to spend time with attractive people you're in the wrong business.

[Mark_fl]

2 hours ago, DrownedBoy said:

I'm getting requests for face time, etc., from providers. You can be sure if they want a WhatsApp or SnapChat talk, they're not serious.

I think that's a generalization. I contacted a provider in NJ where I planned on being a couple of weeks later and wanted to have something set up. His communication was good, and he did ask me to video chat through WhatsApp almost immediately.  

I figured if I wanted him to hold a date for me two weeks out, he had the right to know I was real and had no problem doing it. We had a pretty good meet up as well.

[Thelatin]

I must be living on the edge - my profile picture is on my text message and or whatapp.  I always scope out who I'm hiring for quite sometime, so I don't worry about it.

[SecretProvider]

I ask clients to tell me about themselves, but that is more for ice breaking and so I am aware of what I am getting into. While a photo is appreciated, for me it's never required. That said, it irritates me when I arrive and I am greeted with someone who is 500lbs or has a Santa Claus type beard. Once I arrived and the client was in a wheelchair. Not that I wouldn't see them , but I need to mentally prepare. 

Those that require pics are new to the game, and/or concerned they will not be able to perform. Doesn't mean they are bad providers, it does take time to cultivate the skill and it can initially be quite jarring to be intimate with someone you are not physically attracted to.

snapchat/whatsapp/instagram are good for being able to send disappearing messages but a good quality provider will not ask for pics. A good confident client will send them anyway. 

[Thelatin]

One other thought I had is if a provider is really extremely turned off by me, I'd rather not see them.  I at least want to be considered average lol. 

[TxDaddyBear]

It is always tempting to ask for a pic, but I usually don't. Some guys show me everything they got in the first few messages, other guys are like a mystery gift I won't know what's inside until he pops up on my front stoop. There is a certain excitement to it, I admit. What am I going to get this time? I just get ready for whoever comes to my door and make sure they feel welcome and relaxed. I am a Southern boy after all.

 

When I first started this gig, a wise friend told me "Everyone deserves to be touched." I have kept that in my mind since then. It's about going passed the looks and finding our common humanity to share with each other. 

[GentJ]

None of the escorts I'm in touch with ever require this. It (understandably) makes people feel judged. As @DznNYC, they aren't real escorts. I'd suggest looking for providers that are well-reviewed here, or at least have lots of RM reviews.

[White Daddy Top]

For personal reasons I don't send face photos even if I'm asked.

In fact, I also prefer to meet providers who don't have face pics. In today's world with AI and facial recognition software, I think it shows some discretion on the part of the provider and I respect that.

Am I the only one who thinks that?

[BuffaloKyle]

On 4/13/2026 at 11:02 AM, White Daddy Top said:

In fact, I also prefer to meet providers who don't have face pics. In today's world with AI and facial recognition software, I think it shows some discretion on the part of the provider and I respect that.

Am I the only one who thinks that?

I need to see a provider's face pics. This can sound shallow but if I'm spending a nice chunk of change to hire you I wanna make sure you turn me on. I had a friend for instance who had an amazing athletic sexy body but just not a good looking guy. Could have been one of those old school headless male underwear models.

[jackcali]

3 hours ago, BuffaloKyle said:

I need to see a provider's face pics. This can sound shallow but if I'm spending a nice chunk of change to hire you I wanna make sure you turn me on. I had a friend for instance who had an amazing athletic sexy body but just not a good looking guy. Could have been one of those old school headless male underwear models.

I also need a face pic, both to see that the escort turns me on (and the face is the biggest driver of that) and that he's got something going on upstairs.  I don't mean that he's intelligent (we're not going to discuss economic theory) but that he has an active mind that's present and engaged.  A good face will make up for a good but not great body, while an awesome body won't make up for a vacant stare.  

Edited April 21 by jackcali

[Wings246]

18 hours ago, jackcali said:

A good face will make up for a good but not great body, while an awesome body won't make up for a vacant stare. 

Absolutely agree with this.  I know many people only care about the STICK on the South Pole (length, girth, etc.).  To me, however, the face is more valuable.  In particular, the eyes are critical.  Nothing can provoke me more than an intense, suggestive, and lustful gaze.  There is a reason why they are window to the soul.  None of this is possible without a face pic.  For that, a face pic is more important than a dick pic.

[jdtjs]

I don’t consider myself unattractive and I’m able to find hookups without pay often enough. I like escorts because it’s transactional and convenient. That said, there are three things that are absolute dealbreakers for me. Asking for pics and/or stats. I’m the guy who’s paying, that should be enough. Not being reasonably prompt in texting when I’m trying to schedule. And being late. I can’t stand being ignored or being late. Those two are the worst and are enough for me to not give you a second chance.

[Muscle_Admirer]

On 3/23/2026 at 6:25 PM, Pd1_jap said:

A better metaphor would be a bouncer at a night club. They have the authority to turn away people who are not aesthetically appealing. 

Honestly, if an escort won't be able to perform for me I would rather not have that experience. It's a good way to screen out those who would not be a good fit. 

I see what you are saying, however I’m torn…The kind of provider that would judge paying, respectful clients over looks would be the kind of person to thoughtlessly take your “rejected” pic and mercilessly mock you online with it.  I’m paying a premium in this hobby NOT to have a petty, judgmental, masochistic Grindr experience.  In my view, the fee delivered to the provider is simply a quid pro quo between a SW professional and a client he wouldn’t otherwise date… and I’m ok with that.  If times are truly changing, I will do what it takes to have the experience I desire… patience, generosity, and kindness have always worked for me and go a long way.