Yet another warning about deposits

[Austin Lewis]

The full version of this story is quite a saga, but here's the TL;DR version.

I was planning a long evening with a provider I had seen a handful of times. We were going to see a musical--he's a really fine singer and I knew he'd like that--and then enjoy a few hours together. I had the tickets, and he was taking care of making the rest of the evening an event. When he asked for a $500 deposit to help with that, I overcame my qualms and sent it to him.

It will surprise absolutely no one in this forum to learn that on the very day we were supposed to get together, he texted me to say that he was stuck in a faraway city (inset tale of woe here) and wouldn't be making it. I tried to be understanding, but I was also firm in saying that I felt scammed because I had paid for an experience I wasn't going to have. He assured me that he would return the money, though not right away because his finances were a mess (insert further tale of woe here). Repeated enquiries have produced ever-receding deadlines for repayment, but of course no actual money.

No deposits.

Ever.

[maninsoma]

Sorry to hear you were scammed, and by someone you had previously hired more than once.  I don't understand why someone would willingly ruin an ongoing client relationship for the equivalent of what he makes in an hour or two.  Maybe drugs are involved?

[Venite]

This seems especially odd and silly on the part of the provider- to wreck a mutually beneficial engagement like this is to lose money.

He also may be testing your tolerance of this. Do not go back to him ever.

I of course disagree with the “no deposits ever” recommendation.

 

[DunwoodyGuy]

No deposits ever--well, maybe, but certainly no $500 deposits EVER.

Other than, Mrs. Lincoln, how was the show?

[Austin Lewis]

4 minutes ago, DunwoodyGuy said:

No deposits ever--well, maybe, but certainly no $500 deposits EVER.

Other than, Mrs. Lincoln, how was the show?

The show was actually quite good!

[+ SirBillybob]

1 hour ago, Austin Lewis said:

The show was actually quite good!

Except for the Rent and Dirty Rotten Scoundrels parts. 

Edited Wednesday at 04:57 PM by SirBillybob

[d.anders]

How awful. In this day and age of social media, it is beyond amazing to me that anyone would be stupid enough, or self-destructive enough, to try this. Once you behave like this and get caught, the game is over. The scam will follow you forever. 

[JB_Studio38]

4 hours ago, Venite said:

I of course disagree with the “no deposits ever” recommendation.

Right because, one can’t use an example of 1 person to tar the entire industry’s need for deposits. And as I’ve said before, on our side: things aren’t any different. We can spend $500 on hotels/travel multiple times throughout our “career” and not make it back. I just spent over $250 in a city I went where there was nothing but freebie seekers hitting me up. I could have hooked up with 3-4 guys but, non of them wanted to pay. 
 

Non of my regular clients were anywhere to be found, and only 1 new client ended up booking during the 2 days I stayed. Normally I would never do that, but because I was traveling long distance between areas, and knew people: I didn’t mind taking the risk. But normally I would never go on any trips without deposits. And now for “the popular opinion”: 

 

followed by:

 

I think the above ⬆️ ⬆️ could find its way here one day. But maybe on Saturn 🪐 

 

Edited Wednesday at 07:39 PM by JB_Studio38

[+ BOZO T CLOWN]

As much as Bozo sympathizes with the OP's tale of woe, it must bear repeating... NEVER, repeat, NEVER, repeat, NEVER give a deposit up front. There are enough stories of escorts and masseurs that scam, ghost, don't show up, and then block the client. How many times do you have to read or hear about all of the warnings?
There comes a time when we have to take responsibility for our actions. And Bozo is glad to see that the OP took accountability for his mistake.
Sending a deposit bears a risk. If you choose to ignore the risks, and still go ahead and send money in advance, don't complain that you got ripped off. It's akin to a cigarette smoker lamenting that he/she was diagnosed with cancer. 

Anytime a provider asks for money in advance, click your heels together and repeat three times, "No thanks, No thanks, No thanks...." And then move on to another provider in your area.
Caveat emptor.

BTC
🤡

[Mark_fl]

Providers: clients who won't send a deposit aren't serious and time wasters

Clients: providers who ask for deposits are likely scamming and not serious about their profession. 

Oh, what a tangled web we weave. I guess we'll both have to decide if we're desperate enough to break the cardinal rule of our 'side'.

I know I'm not. Maybe it's because I'm pretty open to conversation and showing I'm "real," or maybe because Im clear that I pay cash only, but I've never been asked for a deposit or that would be the end of the conversation. 

Edited Wednesday at 09:19 PM by Mark_fl

[savantsav]

I only give a deposit if

1) They have LOTS of recent reviews on rm

2) They have great reviews here

3) Is not more than 25% of the rate quoted.

[+ Jamie21]

Unfortunately a lot of these unprofessional providers live chaotic or on the edge of chaotic lifestyles. They’ll manage to show up for you a couple of times and it’ll be fun but eventually they’ll let you down because ‘they have to’. They didn’t mean it (they rationalise to themselves), their need is more important than yours (they tell themselves) and they definitely maybe mean to reimburse you (they tell you) but somehow it never happens and time moves on. Their life becomes more chaotic and they forget. 

The red flags for these guys are always there: irregular replies, indications of drug use, unpredictable behaviour etc but they look hot and are enticing so you overlook it all and get drawn in. Hire professional guys, it’s much better for your sanity and your bank balance…
 

 

 

[DMonDude]

2 hours ago, Mark_fl said:

Providers: clients who won't send a deposit aren't serious and time wasters

Clients: providers who ask for deposits are likely scamming and not serious about their profession. 

Oh, what a tangled web we weave. I guess we'll both have to decide if we're desperate enough to break the cardinal rule of our 'side'.

I know I'm not. Maybe it's because I'm pretty open to conversation and showing I'm "real," or maybe because Im clear that I pay cash only, but I've never been asked for a deposit or that would be the end of the conversation. 

1 hour ago, savantsav said:

I only give a deposit if

1) They have LOTS of recent reviews on rm

2) They have great reviews here

3) Is not more than 25% of the rate quoted.

Agree with you both.

I've done the same in terms of making my own choice on a provider by provider basis (i have no always/never send a deposit rule) and having criteria needing to be met to feel ok sending a deposit. And because of that, I have not been burned by providers who've asked for a deposit. So i really can't relate to how intensely against deposits some here are.

However, as evidenced by the 7 million threads on this topic there are on this forum, I'm completely aware we're in the minority there 😅.

At the end of the day though, i think deposits themselves aren't actually the issue, unprofessionalism is. Like Jamie21 said. A bad provider will be bad regardless of if they ask for a deposit or not, and most of the clients here who are super against deposits also are generally aware of the red flags to look out for for a bad hire. So it really makes me wonder what these providers are doing that where nothing else about their ad is tipping off their red flag radar.

Edited Wednesday at 10:23 PM by DMonDude

[JB_Studio38]

3 hours ago, Jamie21 said:

Unfortunately a lot of these unprofessional providers live chaotic or on the edge of chaotic lifestyles. They’ll manage to show up for you a couple of times and it’ll be fun but eventually they’ll let you down because ‘they have to’. They didn’t mean it (they rationalise to themselves), their need is more important than yours (they tell themselves) and they definitely maybe mean to reimburse you (they tell you) but somehow it never happens and time moves on. Their life becomes more chaotic and they forget. 

The red flags for these guys are always there: irregular replies, indications of drug use, unpredictable behaviour etc but they look hot and are enticing so you overlook it all and get drawn in. Hire professional guys, it’s much better for your sanity and your bank balance…
 

 

 

Sums it up fairly accurately. But in case anyone wonders: it’s not just that way in the industry either.

I met 4 new guys outside of clients while visiting a university town. Out of the 4, only 1 showed to really be communicative about their intentions and followed up with meeting again. The other 3 ghosted after our meet. Played all the cards right at first though.

Meanwhile all my clients sent thankyou messages after the session. That’s why I’m tired of hooking up. When I allow myself to give it up them for free, they don’t appreciate it 😝 

[mike carey]

3 hours ago, DMonDude said:

However, as evidenced by the 7 million threads on this topic there are on this forum, I'm completely aware we're in the minority there 😅.

Please don't exaggerate. There are only 6.5 million, I counted them.

[DaddyCares]

11 hours ago, maninsoma said:

Sorry to hear you were scammed, and by someone you had previously hired more than once.  I don't understand why someone would willingly ruin an ongoing client relationship for the equivalent of what he makes in an hour or two.  Maybe drugs are involved?

This is true. If someone has good reviews, and youve seen them before, then a deposit is simply worth the risk. It takes an idiot to want to lose an entire LARGE cash flow just to make a free hour 

[Mark_fl]

44 minutes ago, DaddyCares said:

This is true. If someone has good reviews, and youve seen them before, then a deposit is simply worth the risk. It takes an idiot to want to lose an entire LARGE cash flow just to make a free hour 

By the same token, if you've seen them before, they shouldn't be still requiring a deposit. It would reek of desperation or maybe a drug problem if they need cash that desperately. 

[Wings246]

12 hours ago, Austin Lewis said:

with a provider I had seen a handful of times

This part really irritates me.  I'm still a very naive newbie in this activity.  I'd have fallen exactly like the OP.  And yes, the OP has my full sympathy.  After all, I would tend to believe that since we have met a couple of times before, the trust level should have been somewhat established.  I'd have been super pissed to have to pay that hefty price.  Thanks for sharing your story.  I'll remind myself to keep my guards up (even though I don't want to lose faith in mankind).

[BigK]

To begin with I don’t do deposits.  But I once had a regular asked me for a loan that could be used for a future discounted visit.  I knew I was taking a risk but he seemed like a genuine guy. I just wanted to let people know that sometimes it works out. He honored his future discounted rate with no difficulty whatsoever and I’ve seen him many times since and he’s never again asked for a loan. 

[Elite_XL]

I personally just prefer giving the client the option of paying a deposit or ordering the uber, if I am asked to go to on an outcall.

Although, that does that like a shitty move on the providers end. If you guys were regulars he could have just been upfront with you about his situation.

[Midwestguy89]

Probably sounds awful but if I do give a deposit I’m more than likely just resorting that it won’t work out. I think it’s only worked out like once. 
 

I do understand they want a guarantee that it’ll work out so they aren’t out $$ but that’s why I let my RM account speak for my consistency, as I have a lot of public reviews.

[Austin Lewis]

3 hours ago, Elite_XL said:

I personally just prefer giving the client the option of paying a deposit or ordering the uber, if I am asked to go to on an outcall.

Although, that does that like a shitty move on the providers end. If you guys were regulars he could have just been upfront with you about his situation.

I'm always happy to order an Uber. It seems like a fairly low-risk way to establish that I'm serious.

[josh282282]

9 hours ago, Elite_XL said:

I personally just prefer giving the client the option of paying a deposit or ordering the uber,

I've been hiring for years.  I have met some wonderful,  and hot, escorts.  

I've never paid for a deposit nor paid for an Uber.

On rare occasion I've been asked to, I politely but vehemently decline.

The escort has always backed down.

My friends: no deposits, no Ubers.

Hugs to all

Josh 

 

[JB_Studio38]

2 hours ago, josh282282 said:

I've been hiring for years.  I have met some wonderful,  and hot, escorts.  

I've never paid for a deposit nor paid for an Uber.

On rare occasion I've been asked to, I politely but vehemently decline.

The escort has always backed down.

My friends: no deposits, no Ubers.

Hugs to all

Josh 

 

I just hope everyone encouraging no deposits, is also willing to be on call with money to give in the event a provider travels to a city with no deposits…and everyone flakes out on their booking. It can and does happen. 
 

And with the price of things now, anticipating going up even more: I don’t think a sweeping advice about not providing deposits is exactly conducive to encouraging providers to shoulder the risks and costs of travel and accommodations.

[+ PhileasFogg]

On 3/4/2026 at 3:45 PM, Jamie21 said:

Unfortunately a lot of these unprofessional providers live chaotic or on the edge of chaotic lifestyles. They’ll manage to show up for you a couple of times and it’ll be fun but eventually they’ll let you down because ‘they have to’. They didn’t mean it (they rationalise to themselves), their need is more important than yours (they tell themselves) and they definitely maybe mean to reimburse you (they tell you) but somehow it never happens and time moves on. Their life becomes more chaotic and they forget. 

The red flags for these guys are always there: irregular replies, indications of drug use, unpredictable behaviour etc but they look hot and are enticing so you overlook it all and get drawn in. Hire professional guys, it’s much better for your sanity and your bank balance…
 

 

 

Deposits take many forms.  Reminds me of experience with a 30-something “twink” still operating in New Orleans.  Apologizing in advance for the sour grapes, but sometimes the best reinforcement comes from true stories.  

Days before our first meet, he had a crisis with his mini storage contents being auctioned for non payment unless he had $181 by 5PM.

I sent the money - cha ching - plus a bit   Total $250.

As the date approached a couple days later, “the vet was too expensive so now I don’t have the money to replace the tire to make the drive to your house.”  I sent the money plus a bit - cha ching - another $250…I accidentally sent twice…so then I’m $750 into an overnight that has yet to happen.

He did show for our for our first meeting…if I recall about 2 hrs late…but I was doubting until he rolled into the driveway  

Within 24 hrs of his arrival at my house, this situation started a spiral into the most dramatic chaos you could imagine.  In the end, over the next 30 days, the “deposit” turned into $3,300 (to avoid eviction, groceries, ransoming his car from the impound lot for unpaid tickets….) that was to be repaid at $100/wk. of course, he missed a couple of planned engagements as well for lame excuses.   Naturally, I’ve not seen a dime and his situation seems to have spiraled further out of control rendering him completely untrustworthy to me.  

So, first, I own the fact that I allowed myself to be hustled.   But let’s call it what it is:

- outsized deposits rooted in chaotic life management issues are not the mark of a professional and are a major red flag

- life’s too short to get pulled into someone else’s drama

A token deposit for a well reviewed professional gentleman is a valid business tool for them and evidence of good faith from you - particularly if they have costs to get to you.  But when the request is rooted in a shaggy dog story to make you feel like an a$$hole if you say no, then it’s likely a hustle.   Just say “no” and cancel the plans.  If you’re conflicted about it, PM me for moral support   

As to this situation, I’d be more forgiving and tolerant if he’d made even a token attempt to repay.   But his attitude is one of entitlement because I had the money to “give” so he shouldn’t have to repay.   Such is the mark of the hustler who doesn’t have the standing to get a legitimate deposit but still wants money upfront.