Definition of versatile/ bottom or versatile/top?

[Veryshyone]

Does this type of description mean the provider is truly versatile and showing their preference? I know it's all about communication but when searching should a client expect versatile meaning they could experience topping or bottoming?  For me, it's about the initial search of what the provider will provide. It's clear when the provider lists top/bottom/versatile, when combined, it's less clear to me. Just trying to learn here and understand communication of desires is needed, simply ask, and express  what you're looking for. Simply looking for constructive comments or experiences. Really appreciate this forum for insights.

 

[DMonDude]

In my experience. "Verse/Top" means someone mostly tops but also will bottom occasionally. "Verse/Bottom" means someone mostly bottoms but also will top occasionally. "Versatile" is 50/50 true verse flip fuck city, no problem doing either whenever.

Edited Wednesday at 11:13 PM by DMonDude

[big-n-tall]

I will also add that sometimes a provider listing as versatile/top may say versatile, but they don’t necessarily mean that they will bottom. You have to talk with them to be sure. Because some will do something typically associated with versatility, like mutual kissing, or mutual oral or mutual rimming, but won’t bottom.

Otherwise, I’m in total agreement with what @DMonDude posted.

Edited Wednesday at 11:34 PM by big-n-tall

[Nue2thegame]

While I think the commonly used terms mean exactly what DMonDude said, in practice, I’ve met a few “versatile tops” who never bottom, at least for me and some versatile bottoms who actually can’t top, at least with me. 

Edited yesterday at 11:23 AM by Nue2thegame

[Pd1_jap]

In my experience these descriptors mean nothing. I've met guys who say they are top only but end up begging to get fucked. And I've also met a lot of providers who say they are versatile but only bottom or only top. 

[+ Jamie21]

Always best to ask them if you have a definite preference. 
I describe my role as vers top. It’s because I usually top. It’s assumed I top because I’m hung (that assumption is a whole different subject!) but I’m happy to bottom if asked. 

[mtaabq]

In theory, I’m with @DMonDude but in reality I’d say @Pd1_jap probably is closer to the mark. The butt wants what it wants … until it doesn’t. In the end (no pun intended) there are no hard and fast rules. 

Communicate, communicate, communicate. 

[DMonDude]

22 minutes ago, Nue2thegame said:

While I think the commonly terms mean exactly what DMonDude said, in practice, I’ve met a few “versatile tops” who never bottom, at least for me and some versatile bottoms who actually can’t top, at least with me. 

Very true. I'm kind of like that in my own sex life. I'm verse/bottom, but the times i bottom versus top are entirely dependent on the other guy and if he's my "type" to want to top. The times i want to top it's generally only for guys smaller/shorter than me. So a big tall guy who wants me to top him would almost never get that from me and would thus perceive me as a verse/bottom who never actually tops or as a lying total bottom 😆, which would only be true from his perspective cause he's not there when I'm absolutely dicking down some hot Short King. So it's kind of about who's perspective we're looking at it from in that way and other circumstantial stuff like what Jamie21 described where he's like "i'm happy to bottom if asked, but most assume and want me to top, so 🤷‍♂️" lol.

Edited Wednesday at 11:52 PM by DMonDude

[DMonDude]

4 minutes ago, mtaabq said:

In theory, I’m with @DMonDude but in reality I’d say @Pd1_jap probably is closer to the mark. The butt wants what it wants … until it doesn’t. In the end (no pun intended) there are no hard and fast rules. 

Communicate, communicate, communicate. 

Agreed. I think those terms always mean what they mean personally, but for sure what gets murky is how and when people choose to apply them in practice. There's always exceptions and "in the heat of the moment" variation and what not.

Edited Wednesday at 11:54 PM by DMonDude

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

1 hour ago, Veryshyone said:

It's clear when the provider lists top/bottom/versatile, when combined, it's less clear to me.

"Bottom " means total bottom. 

"Vers/Bottom" means total bottom. 

"Vers" means total bottom. 

"Vers/Top" means total bottom who doesn't want to always go through the effort of cleaning out.

"Top" means top...unless the other person has a bigger dick and then he becomes a bottom.

Edited yesterday at 12:02 AM by Vegas_Millennial

[Nue2thegame]

14 minutes ago, mtaabq said:

In theory, I’m with @DMonDude but in reality I’d say @Pd1_jap probably is closer to the mark. The butt wants what it wants … until it doesn’t. In the end (no pun intended) there are no hard and fast rules. 

Communicate, communicate, communicate. 

But here, the hard and fast rules. 

[NJF]

15 minutes ago, Vegas_Millennial said:

"Bottom " means total bottom. 

"Vers/Bottom" means total bottom. 

"Vers" means total bottom. 

"Vers/Top" means total bottom who doesn't want to always go through the effort of cleaning out.

"Top" means top...unless the other person has a bigger dick and then he becomes a bottom.

Not always true lol. You need to tell the provider what you are looking for and he will tell you if there is a match.

[jeezifonly]

1 hour ago, Vegas_Millennial said:

"Bottom " means total bottom. 

"Vers/Bottom" means total bottom. 

"Vers" means total bottom. 

"Vers/Top" means total bottom who doesn't want to always go through the effort of cleaning out.

"Top" means top...unless the other person has a bigger dick and then he becomes a bottom.

🤣🤣🤣

An old joke was "What's a West Hollywood Top? A bottom who hold his own legs up.

[Becket]

Good post, good question. Vers/bottom is usually a disappointing top, IMHO.

[DznNYC]

This was actually a pretty complicated question for me when I was setting up my profile, and it took a bit of trial and error to land where I ended up identifying: versatile/bottom.  

The truth of the matter is that I'm genuinely a case-by-case versatile guy.   I love both.  I do both as much as I can.   Left to my own devices, sexual position is determined by situation and chemistry, which means I usually end up topping.  But losing either from my life would be a genuine loss. 

The real complicating factor for me is that this isn't my full time job.  A very full week for me is four bookings.  So for me, I feel like it makes sense to be a bit more intentional in connecting with guys whose needs best align with my skill sets, more so perhaps than guys who are seeing clients daily.  And one of my favorite things - I might even say a skill of mine - is the versatile flip session.  Come to find out, there's a real population who thrives on that.  Similarly there's a population who leans one way or the other and wants to explore the other side too.  I still love a strict top and and a strict bottom always!  But it would be a big personal loss - not to mention a waste of some skills - for me to miss out on those vers flip guys.

Well, come to find out, the hiring population is so heavily slanted towards bottoms... (is this shocking news?) ... that listing as versatile is still the functional equivalent of listing as a top.  Meanwhile guys who are actually versatile or tops don't seem to find you without the word "bottom" in your profile.

Long story short,  I've settled into a somewhat inaccurate identifier as a way to navigate the reality of the landscape as it is.  And even with that, I'm still definitely topping more than I'm bottoming.  

Suffice to say, consider when you're looking at providers that their chosen position identifier might involve more nuance than you think.  Anything with the word "versatile" in it requires a conversation.  The broad demographic assumptions above are mostly true, but be careful applying those assumptions to individual providers!

Edited yesterday at 01:30 PM by DznNYC

[MscleLovr]

14 hours ago, Veryshyone said:

Just trying to learn here and understand communication of desires….express  what you're looking for….looking for constructive comments or experiences

Communication of my desires was easy for me as I’m only a top.
If pressed to say more, I’d add that I’m affectionate but I have a dominant streak and enjoy taking charge.

I’d always express my needs by stating what I enjoy (kissing with tongue, sensual foreplay, mutual oral and topping with condom) as non-negotiable.
Again if pressed, I’d add that I want a muscleboy to dress in sexy briefs or jockstrap and although it’s optional, I find it insanely hot when a guy worships my cock lovingly and swallows my load. 

I’d always be direct and state this before a first date. Being polite, I’d simply ask if we will be mutually compatible.

[aiseeya]

In my experiences, some would 'top'/'bottom' only for certain client or, in a 3s or more setting, for other provider. Best ask.

[+ nycman]

There are as many answers to that question as there are men in the world. 

I ignore guys who advertise as “top". I also tend to avoid “verse/tops”. 
I’m well aware that I’m missing out on a few “bottom” diamonds in the rough, but that’s the price I’m willing to pay.

“Verse/ bottoms” and pure “bottoms” tend to be my favorites.
But I make room for the occasional pure ”verse”, especially when I think they’re just camouflaged bottoms.

I make sure every guy I hire knows, “I’m a top who likes to fuck”.
What they call themselves is really none of my business.

And just like I tell everybody in my life, if you get in my bed, you’re going to get fucked.
If you don’t wanna get fucked, don’t get into my bed.
At the end of the day, it’s pretty simple. 

[theplayerking]

If you’re looking for anal, it’s always best to be explicit and then reconfirm your expectations beforehand. This is especially true if you might want to flip.