Do you have a hard time taking compliments from escorts?

[LuckyLechon]

This probably has more to do with me being insecure but I’ve had several escorts compliment me (say I’m handsome, have a big dick, great kisser etc.) but I have a hard time believing them for some reason. Their delivery seems genuine but that voice in the back of my head can’t help but nag me about it. 
 

I am asking cause the other day I met with a masseur** who was amazing but we ended up fucking and it was amazing. He kept showering me with compliments and saying he never does x or y but couldn’t help himself with me. It made me feel so good lol. He didn’t try to increase the price either and he likely won’t be back to my city any time soon (I asked).
 

I just hate where my mind went with it. I’m probably overthinking it but I guess I was wondering if it was possible for them to derive pleasure from us interacting with a client despite it being a business arrangement.

Edited yesterday at 05:11 AM by LuckyLechon
Masseur not masseuse

[Pd1_jap]

Anything a provider tells you is meant to keep you as a client. Try asking for a date without paying and you'll see what he really thinks. 

From the alternative perspective, if he thought you were a gross old man then he wouldn't have done the extras. 

Lastly, you should never value yourself based on other's opinions. 😘

[LuckyLechon]

26 minutes ago, Pd1_jap said:

Lastly, you should never value yourself based on other's opinions. 

hey hey, THAT part. Thank you.

[Manhattan]

A male massage provider is called a masseur not a masseuse  

When they are with you they are at work. Sometimes they enjoy their work, sometimes they don't - but if your provider is good you won't be able to tell the difference.

If you are polite, clean, and considerate, you are making their job easier. Feel good about that. 

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

I read somewhere from one provider who focused in one thing he found attractive about each client, in order for him to stay hard and deliver.  That may be his hair, or his arms, or his cologne, etc.  I recal an escort repeatedly telling me he loved my hair as he fucked me (this was years ago, when I had more of it 😊).

[+ sf westcoaster]

Graciously accept the compliment, don't overthink it.

[BeamerBikes]

Just because it’s “work” doesn’t mean it always has to be difficult.  Sometimes you get a work task you actually enjoy doing for a variety of reasons.  Same goes for this.  
 

I know one twink was genuinely into the daddy type, and did massages. I’m sure there were some clients that were a challenge. Others were simply the easiest money he ever made. 
 

Another amateur masseur he was into feet and loved playing with girthy guys.  Everyone has their turn-on’s, and sometimes fate gives you an easy job which you go all out for, but still collect that paycheck at the end. 
 

If it feels genuine and actions support it, don’t question it. 

[big-n-tall]

I think you’re thinking way too much about it. Enjoy the moment.

As been mentioned… yes, this is work, but sometimes people enjoy their work. Sometimes a masseur or provider will work with a client and find something about them attractive (or totally attractive) that turns them on. It might be a physical quality or it might be a personality trait.

I’m by no means an Adonis, but I know I have features, qualities, and a demeanor some masseurs/providers enjoy. I know that not everyone is into the Adonis type even though they be Adonises themselves. This has been my experience judging by some of these men’s personal porn, talking with them over time, and some of the things they’ve done at no additional cost (or free even) with me.

So again enjoy the moment… enjoy any unexpected perks that may come your way.

[TMB]

Agree with others that you shouldn't over think this. I think I'm fairly realistic about where I am on the attractiveness scale. Sometimes I get compliments, sometimes I don't. But, for me, I think I want to think they are enjoying themselves with me. As Manhattan correctly says, good providers will seem to enjoy themselves whether they do or don't.  But one of my regular provides, now that we're 5-6 times in, has first started climbing on the table at the end to cuddle with me, usually going over our time, and has recently kissed me, which he hadn't done before.  This makes me feel like he really does enjoy being with me, which is the most I could hope for.

 

*edited to add the point I forgot to make: actions speak louder than words. I think you can tell if a provider enjoys being with you. 

Edited yesterday at 07:41 PM by TMB

[+ DrownedBoy]

Just nod, smile, and accept the added services from your paid session. Escorting is basically acting, and good actors like viewers to temporarily believe it...for the scene.

It's good business, as is complimenting escorts too. My sig says it all.

[BeamerBikes]

1 hour ago, TMB said:

 But one of my regular provides, now that we're 5-6 times in, has first started climbing on the table at the end to cuddle with me, usually going over our time, and has recently kissed me, which he hadn't done before.  This makes me feel like he really does enjoy being with me, which is the most I could hope for.

That’s super sweet, and probably a minefield of “catch feelings” - which is alright if you are mature enough to navigate.  Sometimes folks feel safe with each other just like any other social/professional interaction.  

[Braziliancutee]

Escort is not basically being actors. Of course has appointments and appointments. I am not doing escort for so much time but I hate when I meet the guys and he literally treat me as a peace of meat. I like when even if he hire me just for 1h we talk a bit, know more about each other. 
just sex is so empty and i agree about don’t trust 100% at guys but if u invite them to have just a dinner or a drink (for fun not paid) and he accept is bc he liked u. But of course if you try to have sex with him for free he will not accept.

Sometimes I really enjoy my clients. Especially the married ones! And I sad this to them, and I still in touch with them (without to ask money). 

and of course if they invite me for a drink or dinner I will accept. But for sex I will have to charge (bc is how I pay my bills).

[Mark_fl]

I think part of what providers do is flirt. It makes the client feel good and want to come back. If they do it well it feels genuine. If they do it poorly, it feels like sucking up. 

Now if they get to know you better, its easier to not only find something they like about you, but to read what kind of compliments you would appreciate. It doesn't mean the compliment isn't real, but as long as there is something in it for the provider, take it with a grain of salt.

Edited yesterday at 06:02 PM by Mark_fl

[soloyo215]

I agree with all of the above, accept the compliments, don't depend on them. Real or not, who knows, doesn't matter. In a massage situation, chances are that if he didn't up-sell, he went farther with you and he said he liked it, it might be true.

Enjoy your time with the provider. It's your time and the basic premise is precisely to dedicate some time to feel good, especially a massage. Massages are self-care.

[SecretProvider]

13 hours ago, LuckyLechon said:

This probably has more to do with me being insecure but I’ve had several escorts compliment me (say I’m handsome, have a big dick, great kisser etc.) but I have a hard time believing them for some reason. Their delivery seems genuine but that voice in the back of my head can’t help but nag me about it. 
 

I am asking cause the other day I met with a masseur** who was amazing but we ended up fucking and it was amazing. He kept showering me with compliments and saying he never does x or y but couldn’t help himself with me. It made me feel so good lol. He didn’t try to increase the price either and he likely won’t be back to my city any time soon (I asked).

I would guess that the compliments are true - but perhaps on a scale of what most clients look like.  

[+ KensingtonHomo]

If anything I’m probably more critical of my appearance than is realistic. And both me and my husband get complimented frequently by providers. We also don’t hire ripped guys in their 20s, so I tend to think the compliments are genuine. 

But I also think we (as men and then as gay men) put entirely too much emphasis on appearance- even when hiring. I’ve lived long enough to know that anyone can get laid. But not everyone can get laid by “a 10.” But in my experience - across hiring; hooking up, and dating - many people who are conventionally extremely hot are not particularly good lovers. 

Attraction is unpredictable. It’s not just what you can see with your eyes. There’s pheromones. Depth and timbre of someone’s voice. And then there’s charm and charisma; neither of which are captured in a photo. 

One of our consistent regulars is younger than I’m generally attracted to - in his 20s - and he’s thin and somewhat athletic but he has a little tummy. I suspect he may have been overweight in his teens. But he is absolutely incredible in bed. He’s both intense and easy going. We enjoy talking to him before and after. 

So take the compliments; perhaps you’re being graded on a sliding scale. Or perhaps you’re just this guy’s type. And don’t overthink it. 

[nottheworst]

14 hours ago, Pd1_jap said:

Lastly, you should never value yourself based on other's opinions. 😘

I like this line. I should have learned this sooner. 

[+ purplekow]

I firmly believe every complement I get even the ones which are factually false.    Why not? It is either true or I would like it to be true and if I believe it, it is true for me at that time.  No use feeling bad about yourself or denying what other people say in a complementary way.  

Edited yesterday at 07:35 PM by purplekow

[TMB]

2 hours ago, BeamerBikes said:

That’s super sweet, and probably a minefield of “catch feelings” - which is alright if you are mature enough to navigate.  Sometimes folks feel safe with each other just like any other social/professional interaction.  

That's a real concern but I think in his case he's old enough and done this enough that it's more feeling comfortable then catching any feelings.  He actually fell asleep like that once! 

[urbanfetish]

I'm not a runway model by any means, but I have come to realize that the idiom "beauty is in the eye of the bolder" is very true. You never know who might think the social norm of a "perfect 10" is unattractive but they think a balding, overweight guy in his 50's is hot. Let them compliment you and enjoy it. Whether you feel it's true or not, you are hiring them for companionship. Part of that arrangement can easily include these compliments. One guy I've been hiring for about a year now makes me feel very desirable. It's not even what he says, but how he treats me.  I have plenty of self-doubt but he makes me feel comfortable and wanted. It's an amazing skill to have.

Unfortunately, it's far too easy to be critical of ourselves and it's difficult to accept compliments from others. Try to let go and enjoy the moment.

[DMonDude]

18 hours ago, LuckyLechon said:

He kept showering me with compliments and saying he never does x or y but couldn’t help himself with me. It made me feel so good lol. He didn’t try to increase the price either

"I never do X or Y with anyone but you/a select few" is 1,000% what he's telling his other clients too. It's part of the job/performance. I figured this out myself with a past provider who also was really good at making me feel good (I've also had a provider do extras at no extra cost, he just does flat rate to undercut the competition and it wasn't a special offer/exception for me specifically). This isn't a bad thing though, it's ok to let it make you feel good, that's ultimately what you're paying for! Just don't let yourself get carried away with it and think it's real outside of the business arrangement.

In my opinion. You kind of have to treat it like actors acting in a movie. A method actor who is filming a scene, between "Action" and "Cut", what they/their character is feeling is "real". But once the filming is done, they are back in the real world and are no longer the character or feeling what the character is feeling. That's kind of how I've learned to see it personally.

18 hours ago, LuckyLechon said:

but I guess I was wondering if it was possible for them to derive pleasure from us interacting with a client despite it being a business arrangement.

They definitely can, but i think it's pretty much always in the same way that you might develop a good rapport with your favorite barista at Starbucks, and almost never in terms of them wanting to be friends/date you outside of work. The barista might be extra courteous to you or give you an extra pump of syrup in your drink as a show of appreciation for being a cool customer, but it's not going to extend beyond that context.

Edited 23 hours ago by DMonDude

[+ Jamie21]

18 hours ago, LuckyLechon said:

I was wondering if it was possible for them to derive pleasure from us interacting with a client despite it being a business arrangement.

Yes of course it is. It would be a grim job if there wasn’t any pleasure in seeing clients. I sometimes think ‘wow, I’m being paid for this’.

I do think that to do the work one has to be predisposed towards being comfortable seeing and being intimate with all sorts of clients. If you don’t do this kind of work you likely never discover that attraction can be found in a much wider variety of people than you think. I have learned that if I am prepared to look for it I can really find things that are attractive in people who I wouldn’t have thought I’d be attracted to. I think that doing the work broadens your understanding of human attraction so if a sex worker pays you a compliment and acts on it then you should take it as genuine. 

[ShortCutie7]

4 hours ago, purplekow said:

I firmly believe every complement I get even the ones which are factually false.    Why not? It is either true or I would like it to be true and if I believe it, it is true for me at that time.  No use feeling bad about yourself or denying what other people say in a complementary way.  

Exactly!  Feelings are facts, so they are true in the moment that they are felt.  I have been told that I have a big dick, which I know is not true, but you know what?  In that moment, I was hung like a horse.

[aiseeya]

Take every compliment with a grain of salt and sense of reality. Save for those compliments which are matter of fact in nature (ie colour of your eyes), they are simply flirting and hussling to keep business. Pretty much similar to what ppl in other line of business do in any networking event, minus the flirting.

But by all means, stroke your ego and enjoy that moment. Just dont bring the feeling home.

[+ nycman]

I’m fucking amazing!

Why would I have trouble with an escort who understands that?
 

Edited 18 hours ago by nycman