Feeling ugly/unattractive when with a provider

[DMonDude]

Have you guys ever had issues with feeling distracted by knowing the fact that the provider isn't attracted to you or even may actively find you ugly? If so how do you handle that? I'm obviously never going into any provider session under any delusion they think I'm hot, but sometimes i get in my head about maybe I'm really putting them through a tough time if they find me to be actively unattractive/ugly. The feeling doesn't necessarily bother me in terms of my own self confidence, but more so in the way that I'm very much the kind of person who wants to be easy to work with or be a bright spot in the day of someone who does what may be a tough job (i love to be kind to or tip customer service workers cause they deal with a lot). So the thought that that's an aspect of myself i can't change to make the job easier for the provider kinda bothers me sometimes.

[Rudynate]

Good guys are there for you - it's all about you. Maybe for a couple hours you could lay aside  the idea that you're bothering them and allow yourself to enjoy their attention. 

[BoyGeorgeandMarilyn]

4 hours ago, DMonDude said:

Have you guys ever had issues with feeling distracted by knowing the fact that the provider isn't attracted to you or even may actively find you ugly? If so how do you handle that? I'm obviously never going into any provider session under any delusion they think I'm hot, but sometimes i get in my head about maybe I'm really putting them through a tough time if they find me to be actively unattractive/ugly. The feeling doesn't necessarily bother me in terms of my own self confidence, but more so in the way that I'm very much the kind of person who wants to be easy to work with or be a bright spot in the day of someone who does what may be a tough job (i love to be kind to or tip customer service workers cause they deal with a lot). So the thought that that's an aspect of myself i can't change to make the job easier for the provider kinda bothers me sometimes.

As long as you pay them good money!

[Jiminy]

If you get a massage.. you're usually face down so that's not a worry for 75% of the session :).

Otherwise, as mentioned, it's about you, regardless of what they think. Take comfort in the fact that if you were able to go through the whole session issue-free, then you look good enough to be a customer. Also, I'm sure you can be a bright spot in other ways, not just looks.

[+ purplekow]

The first time I met Vin Marco, we walked along the boardwalk at the Jersey shore. He was looking like Adonis and I was looking like me.  He was shirtless and in tight shorts.  At one point, I decided to take off my shirt and just walk with him and forget about it, as who was going to look at me anyway.  Afterward, he said he was impressed that I felt  comfortable and confident walking along the boardwalk.  He thought that was sexy. 

Now maybe he was just being nice, but that helped me to come to grips that it is not what other people think of me, it is what I think about myself.  So, DMonDude, just think positively about yourself and they rest will fall into place.  

Google Search

WWW.GOOGLE.COM

 

Edited 15 hours ago by purplekow

[+ Jamie21]

10 minutes ago, purplekow said:

The first time I met Vin Marco, we walked along the boardwalk at the Jersey shore. He was looking like Adonis and I was looking like me.  He was shirtless and in tight shorts.  At one point, I decided to take off my shirt and just walk with him and forget about it, as who was going to look at me anyway.  Afterward, he said he was impressed that I felt  comfortable and confident walking along the boardwalk.  He thought that was sexy. 

Now maybe he was just being nice, but that helped me to come to grips that it is not what other people think of me, it is what I think about myself.  So, DMonDude, just think positively about yourself and they rest will fall into place.  

Google Search

WWW.GOOGLE.COM

 

This is it. Be confident, be nice, respectful, clean and turn up on time. Those clients are the best. Doesn’t matter what you look like it’s how you behave that’s important. 

[jmichaeliii]

2 hours ago, Jamie21 said:

This is it. Be confident, be nice, respectful, clean and turn up on time. Those clients are the best. Doesn’t matter what you look like it’s how you behave that’s important. 

This!  I have had amazing times with guys totally out of my league and I abide by this motto.  And don't let age scare you.  I prefer younger (early to late 20s) and you might be surprised the excellent treatment you receive just showing them a little TLC!

[+ SirBillybob]

No. I’m just the undressed dress rehearsal for them jerking selves off at 75. 

Edited 12 hours ago by SirBillybob

[jackcali]

The looks disparity is the reason I hire.  Especially with my regulars (either pros or semi-pros), I see hiring as an exchange of what I have a lot of but they may not (money, life experience, perspective) with what the provider has a lot of and I definitely do not (looks, energy, sex appeal, youth).  If you can accept that this trade is the whole point of the hire, then you can stop comparing yourself to the provider.  

[pubic_assistance]

12 hours ago, DMonDude said:

i get in my head about maybe I'm really putting them through a tough time if they find me to be actively unattractive/ugly

Escorts are in the business of finding ways to distract themselves from the usual male sexual instinct toward physical beauty. If you are worried about them being burdened, then give them a little extra to focus on. Be charming, be polite, be complimentary of THEIR beauty and be a good tipper. With all of THAT you can be an emotional gem without being a physical all-star. 

[Decatur Guy]

I understand that feeling. Especially when I first started hiring. I felt like, "I'm so ugly it's come to this." I still get that way at times, but mostly I like the convenience. And what I lack in looks, I make up for in respect, likability, enthusiasm and reliability. I have a couple of guys who have quit advertising but still see me. And I know I get lower than the going rate. 

Edited 3 hours ago by Decatur Guy

[Occasional]

18 hours ago, DMonDude said:

Have you guys ever had issues with feeling distracted by knowing the fact that the provider isn't attracted to you

Yes, a couple of times.  My attitude is that they're simply in the wrong line of work. I don't hire them again.

I am of retirement age (a fact I always share before a new hire), but I work out regularly, am well groomed, have a Body Mass Index at the low end of normal and I am courteous. I don't pretend to myself that I'm God's gift to men, but I've no wish to pay for a provider who is simply seeking to monetise their sex life.

[DMonDude]

Thank you all, i appreciate all these replies. Lot of good advice here 🙏