Addressing the Epidemic of impatience and passive aggression when book

[Jarrod_Uncut]

They don’t keep their appointments, they cancel like 3 times in one conversation, super high maintenance, seems to more often come from the bottoms but can be of any position.

These MoFos don’t even be paying me enough to deal with their bullshit. Just today, I’ve already had 2 idiot clients cancel on me. One is a regular who has a habit of doing it, and I’m not giving him anymore chances. Another cancelled on my records back in 2021, and does it again today while I’m in route. He was already disrespectful earlier, rushing me to meet, out the blue. But yet: he wasn’t in a hurry to follow back up since 2021. Now it’s urgent? This is why I don’t meet people without a deposit anymore. I’m going to post his name address and screenname to the blacklist for not only wasting my time, but sending me his address and cancelling, being rude, then hanging up as I was already en route: 

This is especially bad in the Midwest. anybody thinking of coming to Kansas City, St. Louis, Ohio…basically anywhere that i70 runs: including Denver. Just don’t. All these guys do is wind you up and waste your time.

They rush you to meet, but then when it comes down to it, they can’t even keep their word. And that damn Adam4Adam, I’m done with it, bunch of liars and flakes. I don’t see how @Simon Suraci can manage 6 clients a day, any day. It’s hard to even get 2 in a row to not be a liar or bullshitter. In St. Louis last week, I had to not go to 2 different appointments because they were weird, wouldn’t answer questions, waited HOURS between messages and then want to call me at 10, 11, 1:45 in the fucking morning: to come see them. After not responding for hours. And now it’s urgent. Right.
 

It’s so many low ballers, impatient, uncooperative, just pain in the ass people who contact. I’m about to just go to doing a mandatory no text no call without consultation fee. I’m just fed up with the crap.

[soloyo215]

I have no words to console you. Sorry you go through that. I know that many of us, men, are full of it. Many of us are also full of doubt and insecurities, and you are in the receiving end of all that.

If I remember correctly, there was a thread about rating clients, or maybe sharing client information. Do you think that such thing can be beneficial to you (that is, if/how it exists)? Finding a way of knowing if a prospective client is a time waster could save you all this grief.

[Jarrod_Uncut]

Look at this conversation. Nothing in this conversation where he says “rest of the day” implies I needed to immediately drop everything and come right that moment. If you wanted to meet by a particular time he could have made that clear. 

so then why it turns into:

and then

 

I even pick up the phone and called: and informed him I’m already nearby, and reiterate that I had TOLD HIM earlier, that I was leaving in 15 minutes and it would be an additional 50 minutes at least to arrive. He claims I didn’t tell him when I was leaving, and hung up on me 🤦🏾‍♂️ 

At that point, I was already minutes away. I even went as far as pulling up by his house, so he can’t see my license plate: and blowing the horn for a minute, just to embarrass him. But I know he would likely try to pull a bitch move and call the cops. Karma will catch up to him in a year or less, so even though I could have threw a brick thru his window: I’m not going to get myself in trouble over trash 🚮 

Edited September 25, 2023 by Jarrod_Uncut

[Simon Suraci]

On tour, I might consistently do 6 a day. In my home city, more like 2-4 per day. Sometimes zero, sometimes 6. It varies a lot. 4 on average after a year or two of building up a more consistent client base. I don’t even want to try cities in the Midwest heartland areas. If it’s as bad as your experiences tend to be on a regular basis, I wouldn’t want to go try scouting there.

Low ballers: thank you, next. Politely hold to my rates and move on. I don’t attempt to engage.

Flakes: unavoidable, just part of the biz. I focus on filling my schedule with as many regulars and repeats as possible so there is less time for bad actor newbies to potentially waste my time by filling up my schedule then not showing. Some communicate regarding a true emergency and will reschedule. Some are jerks and I maintain a one strike policy for those types.

A4A: I’ve had some success using it. A lot less than the usual places, but plenty of clients find my pro ad and contact me. Very few try to waste my time asking for freebies or hookups because the ad is clearly labeled “pro” and the content is descriptive enough. A good chunck of A4A inquiries are serious. Lots of requests for rates, but only some of those book. Just how it goes.

Uncooperative clients: I set boundaries and say I need to know by x time if you’re committed to y appointment and whatever we discussed. I’m available from a to b. I will be busy from c to d, but I will get back to you asap if you catch me when I am working. When they don’t respond, won’t commit or whatever, I move on. No waiting around for those who won’t respect me or my time.

Late night, last minute requests: I reject them, state my open hours and tell them my new late night policy, which is they must book 24 hrs in advance if they want an early or late appointment outside my normal hours. On tour, I might relax this policy somewhat.

I keep growing a thicker skin every day. Instead of complaining and lamenting, I move on to the next thing, work related or otherwise. I lack the emotional energy to care as much as I used to. Yes, I get frustrated, but I don’t let it get to me as much as I used to. I have my moments.

Water off a duck’s back. 

[Jarrod_Uncut]

27 minutes ago, soloyo215 said:

I have no words to console you. Sorry you go through that. I know that many of us, men, are full of it. Many of us are also full of doubt and insecurities, and you are in the receiving end of all that.

If I remember correctly, there was a thread about rating clients, or maybe sharing client information. Do you think that such thing can be beneficial to you (that is, if/how it exists)? Finding a way of knowing if a prospective client is a time waster could save you all this grief.

He doesn’t have any reports. But he’s going to have one now. I’m finding a lot of providers in the Midwest, don’t know about these warning apps. So I have to start spreading the word.

I don’t care if a client knows or doesn’t like it. They need to start knowing: if you do a provider shitty, and you a HABIT and HISTORY of not just unreliability: but INTENTIONALLY stringing providers along and being a headache: you will be reported. I’m tired of the bullshit. 

Edited September 24, 2023 by Jarrod_Uncut

[Jarrod_Uncut]

36 minutes ago, Simon Suraci said:

On tour, I might consistently do 6 a day. In my home city, more like 2-4 per day. Sometimes zero, sometimes 6. It varies a lot. 4 on average after a year or two of building up a more consistent client base. I don’t even want to try cities in the Midwest heartland areas. If it’s as bad as your experiences tend to be on a regular basis, I wouldn’t want to go try scouting there.

Low ballers: thank you, next. Politely hold to my rates and move on. I don’t attempt to engage.

Flakes: unavoidable, just part of the biz. I focus on filling my schedule with as many regulars and repeats as possible so there is less time for bad actor newbies to potentially waste my time by filling up my schedule then not showing. Some communicate regarding a true emergency and will reschedule. Some are jerks and I maintain a one strike policy for those types.

A4A: I’ve had some success using it. A lot less than the usual places, but plenty of clients find my pro ad and contact me. Very few try to waste my time asking for freebies or hookups because the ad is clearly labeled “pro” and the content is descriptive enough. A good chunck of A4A inquiries are serious. Lots of requests for rates, but only some of those book. Just how it goes.

Uncooperative clients: I set boundaries and say I need to know by x time if you’re committed to y appointment and whatever we discussed. I’m available from a to b. I will be busy from c to d, but I will get back to you asap if you catch me when I am working. When they don’t respond, won’t commit or whatever, I move on. No waiting around for those who won’t respect me or my time.

Late night, last minute requests: I reject them, state my open hours and tell them my new late night policy, which is they must book 24 hrs in advance if they want an early or late appointment outside my normal hours. On tour, I might relax this policy somewhat.

I keep growing a thicker skin every day. Instead of complaining and lamenting, I move on to the next thing, work related or otherwise. I lack the emotional energy to care as much as I used to. Yes, I get frustrated, but I don’t let it get to me as much as I used to. I have my moments.

Water off a duck’s back. 

I hear you out, but this is the kind of stuff I refer to. This is a guy who’s hired me 3 times previously. But over the whole course of knowing him, he’s been the exact same person I’ve outlined in my headline. Every, single, word:

 

So I sent him a request for me cancellation fee which “starts” at $50:

 

I been trying to be nice with him, to an extent…and not burn his bridge, but this time: I’m done. I refuse to be played with over and over. And he had the chance to just book me last night. Why the fuck he didn’t, and changed his mind then? 🤷🏾‍♂️ 

And then he goes from wanting today, to tomorrow, oh no: “another day”. Next week, the week after. Bitch, I don’t have time for that shit. It’s no reason to be unable to make up your mind when we’ve already met and he knows how I operate

Edited September 24, 2023 by Jarrod_Uncut

[Jarrod_Uncut]

2 hours ago, Simon Suraci said:

On tour, I might consistently do 6 a day. In my home city, more like 2-4 per day. Sometimes zero, sometimes 6. It varies a lot. 4 on average after a year or two of building up a more consistent client base. I don’t even want to try cities in the Midwest heartland areas. If it’s as bad as your experiences tend to be on a regular basis, I wouldn’t want to go try scouting there.

Low ballers: thank you, next. Politely hold to my rates and move on. I don’t attempt to engage.

Flakes: unavoidable, just part of the biz. I focus on filling my schedule with as many regulars and repeats as possible so there is less time for bad actor newbies to potentially waste my time by filling up my schedule then not showing. Some communicate regarding a true emergency and will reschedule. Some are jerks and I maintain a one strike policy for those types.

A4A: I’ve had some success using it. A lot less than the usual places, but plenty of clients find my pro ad and contact me. Very few try to waste my time asking for freebies or hookups because the ad is clearly labeled “pro” and the content is descriptive enough. A good chunck of A4A inquiries are serious. Lots of requests for rates, but only some of those book. Just how it goes.

Uncooperative clients: I set boundaries and say I need to know by x time if you’re committed to y appointment and whatever we discussed. I’m available from a to b. I will be busy from c to d, but I will get back to you asap if you catch me when I am working. When they don’t respond, won’t commit or whatever, I move on. No waiting around for those who won’t respect me or my time.

Late night, last minute requests: I reject them, state my open hours and tell them my new late night policy, which is they must book 24 hrs in advance if they want an early or late appointment outside my normal hours. On tour, I might relax this policy somewhat.

I keep growing a thicker skin every day. Instead of complaining and lamenting, I move on to the next thing, work related or otherwise. I lack the emotional energy to care as much as I used to. Yes, I get frustrated, but I don’t let it get to me as much as I used to. I have my moments.

Water off a duck’s back. 

Going back to the rest of your post, yes: both these guys have low baller tendencies in common. That’s part of why I’ve began to raise my rates because: i offer meets for a reasonable price and then they still find a reason to want to pay less or not at all. One client I would meet occasionally wanted to argue with me over $50 difference in price. Wanted to pay $200 instead of $250. I let him pay $200 back in December as a REGULAR client price, but yet he hasn’t seen me since December. And asking for regular price in September 🤦🏾‍♂️ Ended up doing the same thing the other idiot did, texting me to cancel in the morning. I went over to his place, picked up my cancellation fee, and won’t be wasting my time on him again. Another unreliable Adam client.

 

And yes, lot of the lower Midwest inquiries come with a trashy low budget personality and never keep their word. Then they want to be impatient after they waited months and years to return a message. So aggravating. That’s why I kinda had to give my input when you mentioned not traveling so often. I HAVE TO. I have no choice. If I sat around and dealt with these imbeciles everyday, I’d be bankrupt. 

Edited September 25, 2023 by Jarrod_Uncut

[Jarrod_Uncut]

37 minutes ago, icecream said:

This is why I could never be an escort. Ever. As a masseur, there are some flakes, but in my experience it’s not nearly as much as escorts get.

And as much as I strive to let certain things not be of big deal: what annoys me the most is when I come back from tour; and these losers almost lurk and wait and come out the woodwork. Then I try get things done, or plan to pay this or that, and end up being unable to, because they think it’s funny to be a wind up. Well it’s not. 
 

I’m reading elsewhere online, of others dealing with almost the exact same:

 

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

I'm gonna put this out there, but have you ever considered that clients treat you worse because you're a provider of color?

Can of worms conversation, I know.

But...  Let's be real.

I feel like minorities in this industry get the shit end of the stick a lot of times.

[Jarrod_Uncut]

21 minutes ago, BenjaminNicholas said:

I'm gonna put this out there, but have you ever considered that clients treat you worse because you're a provider of color?

Can of worms conversation, I know.

But...  Let's be real.

I feel like minorities in this industry get the shit end of the stick a lot of times.

I’m glad you acknowledged that, but YES. I have implied this to be a factor many times. However, I feel the main issue is the money. It’s funny how guys I meet for “free” seem to usually have no qualms about arrival times or particular dates when they want to hookup. But the clients treat the appointment like a job interview: if I don’t get there when and where THEY say, all bets are off.

But what they fail to acknowledge is, I don’t work FOR them. They aren’t my Boss. Just because they are paying does not equate to me being inferior and they being “superior”. It’s actually the opposite: if they come to my office, they have to be willing to do things on my timing, the way I wish to do it. They can’t just run up in UPS and start demanding to get a package 📦 delivered by a certain time, there’s procedures and extra prices to get it.

But it doesn’t surprise me that many potential clients, especially in frugal minded and racist cities (yes, even gays looking for minority escorts, can be racist) have no concept of this.

They make me feel we need to be desperate for their business by being a cheap, unreliable, nerve grating, high maintenance, impatience, inconsiderate piece of **it 🤦🏾‍♂️ 

 

Edited September 25, 2023 by Jarrod_Uncut

[+ nycman]

[Jarrod_Uncut]

1 hour ago, icecream said:

 

 

Im Black and I dont experience nearly that amount of aggrevation, but Im a masseur, not an escort so it might be different for masseurs. Im also in a metropolitan city so that also might make my experience different. Is it an option for you to move to another city so that you don’t have to tour as often?

I’m trying to scout some new locations going into next month. But before I move I have some things I’m trying to get taken care of, which have been held up because the effect that’s been had on my earnings dealing with types like this. 
 

I’m really at the point of just like, fuck everything and leave and just try to finish when I get to where I need to be. But I’m waiting for something that might help with staying in my current location. If I can be closer to the city, it might help reach the impatient, bad planning types who imply they have all day availability, but in reality have no fucking patience once so ever:
 

However, I’ve damn near blocked and blacklisted 3/4 of the Kansas City and St. Louis market. Majority of them have multiple bad reports, or they lie and never keep their word on booking. Or they reach out once, fail to follow thru or have a million excuses just like the 2 imbeciles I mentioned earlier do, and then come back around months later outta nowhere, asking for a booking that they can only fit in a tiny window of time. 

That’s not doing business, that’s just blatant stupidity. And I find it very hard to maintain patience with those types, even though they probably would pay every so often. In fact, I am TOO patient with them, and they abuse my patience. They want a fight, but then start pulling the unprofessionalism card when I start “threatening” and “blackmailing” them (like one of the clients accused me of). No it’s not blackmail, it’s an option. Reimburse me a portion of the agreement we had, or be reported. It’s that simple. You don’t just get away with asshole behavior, and leave me in the dust looking empty handed. They need to be professional and view me as a professional, not just some panhandler on the street asking for change, who they can treat like a bum. 
 

As far as the issue with race: I do believe it’s a factor. I know @Decatur Guy posted the question about why are there not more guys doing this. Well this thread here: is your answer why. I even notice too: there seems to be fewer “top notch” Black escorts, except in the bigger cities: And I know for a fact, I even discussed this with another forum member about one: some of us escorts of color who weren’t big name porn stars, used to be able to go city to city successfully. Now, many of the cities you generally have guys who have just started up in the past year or 2, or with questionable ratings. I’m probably one of the select few Black providers who have been around since 2008, 2009, 2010. 
 

And only reason I’m even able to tolerate it this long, is by having innovative policies to protect from the things Adam and RentMen FAIL to protect us from. But soon as I fail to do it, like today: I agreed to meet this idiot and didn’t bother to ask for a deposit: this is the disrespect I get. So once again, I will never meet anybody new without a deposit, I don’t give a fuck how much they bitch about it being difficult, or how they never had to send a deposit before. I’m not hearing the excuses anymore. 

Edited September 25, 2023 by Jarrod_Uncut

[Jarrod_Uncut]

And I really don’t think “massage” clients are any more reliable either. Case in point from the other night. Why are you calling me at 1:45 a.m.? Yeah I was awake, but I wasn’t about to be leaving my place for some sloppy last minute invite when I asked him twice the other day prior to confirm 🤦🏾‍♂️ 

 

[NyGold]

3 hours ago, BenjaminNicholas said:

I'm gonna put this out there, but have you ever considered that clients treat you worse because you're a provider of color?

Can of worms conversation, I know.

But...  Let's be real.

I feel like minorities in this industry get the shit end of the stick a lot of times.

Why should this industry be any different from any other?

Together with, often, having to fulfill the unique fetish aspects that come with being allowed to enter the hallowed circles of our demographic.

[Jarrod_Uncut]

2 hours ago, Becket said:

@Jarrod_Uncut I really want to lash out at you. I've seen many of these sorts of posts from you over the years. But I'm trying to see these things from your perspective, which is really hard for me to do. You're trying your best to make it in this crazy, unusual profession, and who can blame you for being so frustrated? You obviously have the talent and the work ethic to make it. But dealing with needy clients seems to drive you nuts. We clients are all needy in one way or another. It's why we come and find guys like you. 

I have no words of wisdom, nor can I make you feel better. What I can do is try and be a better listener for you and your peers. So you keep using this forum to work through your difficulties. And I'll try not to be so judgmental. 

And that’s sometimes all is needed, is just to listen (or in this case read) and just: see from a different window. Spread the word, tell your friends. I know clients tell their friends about RentMen. Which is great. But they can also learn how use the service wisely, not pull this “I’m new and scared” shit and use it as an excuse to do things they (hopefully) wouldn’t ever do to someone else in a normal business. But: I wouldn’t be surprised if they do. I’ve seen people do some shitty things even to regular businesses. 
 

I know in the past I had such posts, and sometimes I could see where I may have messed up or overreacted, or came off unprofessional. But with this new site layout, where I can easily just screenshot texts and post: now people can actually see for themselves, the stupidity which exists and understand why: I have to regularly make big changes to how I work. I mean, at this point I have everything laid out how I want it. The hardest part of it, is sticking to my own policies and not letting gaslighting “inquiries” stray me away from what I already know works.

And what I already know works is: not seeing, or trusting clients who can’t send a deposit, regular or newbie. Limiting same day/short notice appointments, because they’re usually always liars and flakes. Unless they can do deposit AND same day booking: 

And sometimes, I like to waste these guys time back by quoting a crazy number like I did with the guy in St. Louis I quoted. Yes, if you ignore my messages and then call me two days later at 1:45 a.m.: it’s going to be double the price.

As for needy: I’m not putting down those who are NEEDING the experience. I’m putting down those who expect me to suddenly be at their instant beck, and then turn impatience and needy when I can’t be available at the very moment and second they suddenly have a need to meet. 
 

I’m not a fucking emergency. I’m not 911, or AAA. I’m somebody that you’re supposed to be meeting privately for a very intimate service. I don’t want to be treated like I need to be on standby 24/7, like a fire truck 🚒 or ambulance 🚑 with a team of people, to service your dick or ass emergency.

Just like I described the other guy, how he go from not contacting me since 2021 when he flaked, to now all of a sudden wanting to meet today, and then barely even giving me a couple hours to arrange? That’s what I refer to by needy: The annoying, impatience NEEDY guy who doesn’t really need anything at all: that’s why they cancel because they only want attention. Needy, attention seeker. 
 

Now this doesn’t apply to all same day bookings or all client situations. I know sometimes the moment is necessary when it comes up. But don’t have me getting into sense of urgency and then backing out. That’s when you cross the line. And I have no tolerance for clients who do that. 

Edited September 25, 2023 by Jarrod_Uncut

[maninsoma]

Someone saying they are available the rest of the day doesn't mean you shouldn't try to set a specific time (more or less) with them.  It sounds like you were driving some distance to get to the guy, so I get that it might have been difficult to give a precise time.  Based on the screen shots, though, it sounds like the client anticipated you being there much earlier and your interpretation was that it didn't matter if you arrive within an hour or several hours later.  Maybe some clients would be okay with that, but I expect that a lot of guys would be irritated sitting around waiting.  The wording of "I have a couple of things to do first" doesn't even say much.  Does that mean I have to wash my dishes and take my dog out to pee, or I am in the middle of painting my house and then have to do my grocery shopping for the week?  Again, I expect that a lot of guys would assume that someone who has "a couple of things to do first" means a few easily accomplished tasks, not something that's going to take a long time.  All of this could be avoided by you actually scheduling an appointment.

Sorry if the above has already been addressed by someone else.  I haven't read all of the back-and-forth in this thread yet.

[pubic_assistance]

15 hours ago, Jarrod_Uncut said:

I’m just fed up with the crap.

Yes.

You've been telling us that for years.

When are you retiring and finally solving this problem ?

 

[Monarchy79]

11 hours ago, BenjaminNicholas said:

I'm gonna put this out there, but have you ever considered that clients treat you worse because you're a provider of color?

Can of worms conversation, I know.

But...  Let's be real.

I feel like minorities in this industry get the shit end of the stick a lot of times.

True Words….

However, minorities (specifically blacks) get shit treatment in just about every industry. I know from experience, and managed to come out on top every time. 
 

The key to succeeding in any business when you are black is to understand that you’re going to have people who will attempt at many forms of ill will towards you, but strategizing to navigate through it.  And note, this dynamic of disrespect and disregard includes other black people and other minorities as well (we get crap from just about all groups).  In Jerrod’s case, all of his clients can be problematic. The problem with Jerrod is that he has failed to understand human nature, the bias that comes with human nature, and he has not properly adjusted his expectations of people with the realities of people. Then the poor guy always winds up disappointment, and frustrated. 

I want to personally gift him the full collection of Robert Greene books (with a focus on “The Laws of Human Nature”) and just reprogram his thinking. 

The world (and the people in it) with never change. Black people who understand this, are the ones who succeed, in any business. 
 

 

 

[Monarchy79]

57 minutes ago, pubic_assistance said:

Yes.

You've been telling us that for years.

When are you retiring and finally solving this problem ?

 

Stop being mean and nasty. 
if the man is frustrated and need a sounding board, give him the grace to do it here. 

 

 

[Monarchy79]

9 hours ago, Jarrod_Uncut said:

And I really don’t think “massage” clients are any more reliable either. Case in point from the other night. Why are you calling me at 1:45 a.m.? Yeah I was awake, but I wasn’t about to be leaving my place for some sloppy last minute invite when I asked him twice the other day prior to confirm 🤦🏾‍♂️ 

 

Mistake #1, 

You replied to the text.

Mistake # 2,

You defended your rate.

“Never complain, never explain.” 

 

[CuriousByNature]

It seems from the shots of texts and conversations you have had with disappointing clients and potential clients, that you spend a lot of energy trying to explain your point of view/rationale to them.  That is an added investment of your time and concentration to those people who are not bringing any benefit to you.  I appreciate that you attempt to reason with prospective clients, but in all honesty, some people are simply unreasonable and will drain you emotionally.  When contacted by people who try to bargain, for example, maybe it is best to simply say "it looks like we would not be a good match, and I wish you well" in order to draw things to a quick close? 

I think it's beneficial to be the driver of your own bus, so to speak, and not let a potential passenger take the wheel from you.  By spending all that time trying to reason with the unreasonable, it might give a bad potential client the idea that you are willing to compromise, and in effect, you are letting them have unnecessary control over what should be your own domain.

Edited September 25, 2023 by CuriousByNature

[Rudynate]

44 minutes ago, CuriousByNature said:

It seems from the shots of texts and conversations you have had with disappointing clients and potential clients, that you spend a lot of energy trying to explain your point of view/rationale to them.  That is an added investment of your time and concentration to those people who are not bringing any benefit to you.  I appreciate that you attempt to reason with prospective clients, but in all honesty, some people are simply unreasonable and will drain you emotionally.  When contacted by people who try to bargain, for example, maybe it is best to simply say "it looks like we would not be a good match, and I wish you well" in order to draw things to a quick close? 

I think it's beneficial to be the driver of your own bus, so to speak, and not let a potential passenger take the wheel from you.  By spending all that time trying to reason with the unreasonable, it might give a bad potential client the idea that you are willing to compromise, and in effect, you are letting them have unnecessary control over what should be your own domain.

Very good advice.  I understand his frustrations, but he keeps doing the same thing with these loser prospects and expecting a different result.  Time wasters are time wasters.  Cheap bastards are cheap bastards. You need to use screening questions to identify them and get rid of them.   My favorites, in my business, are the ones who ask,"Why does it cost so much?"  I used to reason with them like Jarrod does, but a long time ago I realized I don't owe them an explanation and learned to anwer them "Because it does.  Anything else?" And then get off the phone.

[Spiritualadvisor]

13 hours ago, Jarrod_Uncut said:

And as much as I strive to let certain things not be of big deal: what annoys me the most is when I come back from tour; and these losers almost lurk and wait and come out the woodwork. Then I try get things done, or plan to pay this or that, and end up being unable to, because they think it’s funny to be a wind up. Well it’s not. 
 

I’m reading elsewhere online, of others dealing with almost the exact same:

 

Can you share the link to this? Thank you 

[+ sf westcoaster]

Jarrod, you have a rather long list of treads that express frustration with your profession, It  is becoming increasingly clear that you need to change to another job/profession.

 

Edited September 25, 2023 by sf westcoaster

[Simon Suraci]

Some members write you off as a chronic complainer but I do genuinely want to see you to grow and succeed. We sympathize with you, especially other providers. I would love to see a positive post from you one day celebrating how much work you’ve got over the past 12 months explaining how making some key changes, and maybe even a move, has helped you succeed. 

A lot of clients are inconsiderate jerks and wishy washy, but that’s how the industry works. It can be better in some places compared to others, but we will always have flakes and time wasting behavior to deal with. People will lowball us, question our rates and policies. It’s human nature, and there’s no changing it. Add to that the racism component and it’s even worse. You have more years of experience than I, so you know these things even better than I do. That’s what puzzles me about the repeated posts about clients…being clients.

What we can do to cope and improve is focus on the things we can control. We don’t have to explain or justify our policies. We don’t have to get mad at the client for disagreeing with our boundaries. We don’t have to convince the client we are right or fair. We don’t have to change the client’s mind about anything. They either conform to our policies and rates for the services they want, or they don’t. When they don’t, move on.

I agree with the other comments; it’s best not to engage clients demonstrating a lack of respect for you and your work and how you choose to do business. Establish your boundaries and policies and stick to them, even if it means losing some work. That’s time saved not dealing with bad clients. When there are not enough good clients in your market, move to another one. If you can’t do that, maybe pick up some other work temporarily to help you save up for a move.

We have different views on deposits, but you have your reasons. Whatever your policies, the key is to not make exceptions to them. When you do (infrequently, for some compelling reason), make it clear to the client what it is and why you are making the exception so they don’t have the impression they can expect the same thing every time.

You might consider keeping your rates the same regardless of frequency so people don’t have any illusions about being entitled to a “regular client” rate when they only book you months or years apart. Or establish a hard line policy like they have to book you at least once per week/month/quarter or whatever so they know why they aren’t entitled.

A hot tip about that client 50 mins away: People need firm time commitments otherwise they sit and stew in impatience and uncertainty. Every minute that goes by, the more they think that you aren’t coming, or will come way later than they want or expect you to. The uncertainty is what kills them. When you commit to a time you know you can make “I will arrive by 5pm and text you when I park”. That gives the client the freedom to relax and anticipate your arrival and do other things in the meantime other than worry and second guess.