Addressing the Epidemic of impatience and passive aggression when book

[ICTJOCK]

12 hours ago, Jarrod_Uncut said:

And that’s understandable. There’s some clients who I can genuinely understand having to cancel here and there when needed. I try to extend the same grace, as I may need when I have to cancel things, even unrelated to clients. 

That goes beyond an understanding escort, to being subjected to emotional labor. I can’t be bothered with someone who lies, can’t keep their word, plays games with me, etc. People wonder why I feel strongly about this topic, but they don’t always know the full story. That’s why I post copy of messages. It’s not to be messy or expose the client or disclose privacy, but when you can actually anonymously see what’s going on: maybe there can be a better understanding.

 

Well Jarrod,  when I finished my original post,   I realized my answer probably wasn't the best.   You are going through something I probably just haven't experienced as of yet  (hopefully won't).   I hope my answer above didn't come across as insensitive.   I hope all can improve.  I would agree,  anyone,  client or escort should be expected to be treated fairly and (hopefully)  professionally.

[Thomas_Belgium]

In my opinion, it's not an epidemic but a pandemic. Sorry but I didn't read the whole topic but that's what you get when you deliver groceries within ten minutes. Some people expect they can get escorts within ten minutes too probably & cancel anytime without fee.

[Jarrod_Uncut]

2 hours ago, ICTJOCK said:

Well Jarrod,  when I finished my original post,   I realized my answer probably wasn't the best.   You are going through something I probably just haven't experienced as of yet  (hopefully won't).   I hope my answer above didn't come across as insensitive.   I hope all can improve.  I would agree,  anyone,  client or escort should be expected to be treated fairly and (hopefully)  professionally.

Thanks much. No you weren’t insensitive, just giving your viewpoint. Especially compared to some of the other stuff I’ve had to respond to. 

At the moment I just sent out cancellation fee request to someone who said he wanted to book me for Thursday 1.5-2 hour session. Claims he never confirmed. Also has: 10 reports, only 2 positive. Then has the audacity to claim he’s been hiring 20 years and never paid a deposit. Why wouldn’t I? 🤦🏾‍♂️ 

 

2 hours ago, Thomas_Belgium said:

In my opinion, it's not an epidemic but a pandemic. Sorry but I didn't read the whole topic but that's what you get when you deliver groceries within ten minutes. Some people expect they can get escorts within ten minutes too probably & cancel anytime without fee.

Definitely, I was trying to use it in a way that implied “widespread occurrence” of something. Versus the actual medical definition. But you’re right, it is. 

With the particular person in the original post: he reached out the day prior, but he didn’t text me to request a time until the following day. He wanted to rush me to hurry up and figure out a time for him, but there was nothing signifying that I was expecting him to meet that day.  That’s why I told him, I would return back to him an approximate time. Which I did, but he couldn’t even be patient enough for me to arrive. 

It’s just very frustrating dealing with so many of these type of people in my area. Like I’ve literally been home from tour for a week, and haven’t had one serious client book. Yet I’ve had 3 people who lied about wanting to book. 
 

I don’t even need to have anyone tell me what I need to do, go thru this shit all the time: I want to leave. Leave the state or leave the business. It’s depressing, and I’m not doing anything differently from when I meet reliable clients who don’t flake, don’t argue about deposits, and write nice reviews to my page.
 

These other people don’t read ads, yet claim they been hiring for years. Well how have you been hiring for years, but fail to be able to read an ad? They tell me something they don’t want to do, that’s specifically mentioned FIRST LINE, in my ad. Do they just click my profile and go straight to my number, why would they think that’s a smart thing to do?

Edited September 29, 2023 by Jarrod_Uncut

[pubic_assistance]

19 hours ago, Monarchy79 said:

The truth about you is that you live in a microcosm of cognitive dissonance and no solution will ever suit you because you don’t want one. Your pathology is centered on fighting, arguing, drama and problems. You are a repellant of peace. You’ll find issues in every single thing you do.  You are the nucleus of your own misery.

[pubic_assistance]

On 9/28/2023 at 6:41 PM, Jarrod_Uncut said:

....what makes it any less now than then

The  answer to that has been banned on Companyofmen.org.

"You’re not implying that racial discussions constitutes someone needing to feel disconnected, right? "  I was observing that YOUR racial discussions frequently stink of bait. It's always leading to you talking about how your poor choices in life are because everyone's a racist, not because you make poor choices.

Multiple people on the site have commented on your habit of complaining and asking for advice, then ignoring the advice, telling everyone they can't possibly understand you..and then going back and continuing to make the same mistakes so you can complain some more.

The solution is called CHANGE.

It's time for you to get out of the business and CHANGE your life for the better.

And no...the world is not inherently racist. Some people are. Most people aren't. So I'm sure if you'd put on a smile and drop the constant complaining someone would be happy to bring you on-board with a normal job where you have a guaranteed salary and you wouldn't have to jump through hoops every day with strangers.

I hope some day you dare to listen to good advice.

Good luck.

 

 

Edited September 30, 2023 by pubic_assistance

[Jarrod_Uncut]

1 hour ago, pubic_assistance said:

The  answer to that has been banned on Companyofmen.org.

 

Again: also only giving you 5 seconds to scan your post too because: your posts towards me are always nasty anyway. We’ve been there before…

But you sound foolish because, I simply addressed a statement another provider asked about. #1 you were not being addressed by @BenjaminNicholas and #2 I did not inquire your input in that response either. Now, if you can’t handle a discussion that includes certain factors that contribute to certain behaviors: You can leave too.

You are so motivated to say stuff to get me to try and run off. It’s not going to work with me, honey.  We already settled long time ago: we will not see eye to eye on certain discussions. And that’s okay…But don’t keep coming around trying to project your opinion about me, where it’s not necessary.

Edited September 29, 2023 by Jarrod_Uncut

[Jarrod_Uncut]

6 hours ago, Thomas_Belgium said:

Some people expect they can get escorts within ten minutes too probably & cancel anytime without fee.

That’s a good point you made, I actually want to go back to that in regards to what a fellow poster mentioned: 

On 9/25/2023 at 11:52 AM, Simon Suraci said:

A hot tip about that client 50 mins away: People need firm time commitments otherwise they sit and stew in impatience and uncertainty. Every minute that goes by, the more they think that you aren’t coming, or will come way later than they want or expect you to. The uncertainty is what kills them. When you commit to a time you know you can make “I will arrive by 5pm and text you when I park”. That gives the client the freedom to relax and anticipate your arrival and do other things in the meantime other than worry and second guess.

I don’t think I appropriately addressed this earlier, but I’ll go over it again. I did not leave him stewing in impatience and uncertainty, and I also don’t do that to clients either. I think you misinterpreted the message that was posted.

What I did do: is tell him upfront, I can follow back up shortly and provide a time of arrival. As I did not want to do that prematurely and make sure I got the timing right. He was not on my schedule that day. 11:30-1 pm on a Sunday: it’s expected most people are either recovering from the Saturday night out prior, or are doing other things like church, brunch, yard work, catching sales, etc. it’s a Sunday. That’s what people do. However, he had no basis to suddenly assume I would be able to instantly push aside everything I was currently engaged in BEFORE he contacted me. He did not earn that privilege. He never sent me a deposit the day prior, he never even mentioned he wanted to meet on Sunday the night prior, and then he specifically implied he PREFERRED to meet “today” (Sunday), which means he should have been willing to give the necessary time for me to accommodate.

Reason why, is because: the day prior he was messaging me on adam4adam, and this is the language he was giving me:

 

 

Now @Simon Suraci: do you see anywhere in that message that gives a sense of urgency on his part? Nothing. Then the next day I’m getting:

 

So, why all of a sudden I have to stop, drop and roll for him? I had to already lead him to water, and make him drink. All I was doing, is getting him to first text and confirm: I do not set ANY TIMES ON ADAM. Period. That’s not an appointment request. Appointment request doesn’t start until I receive text message. That’s for any website.
 

I don’t think it was accurate to make it seem like I kept him waiting and was indecisive. And I was a bit offended by that, to be honest.  
 

No, he hit me up at the last minute on the day of. I already know from experience with a lot of gay men and dealing with sex: they are NEVER available as fast as I want them to be. I know that for a fact. So I’ve learned to just have patience and understanding. Nobody is going to drop their life for me, so…where’s this expectations that I have to do the same? 90% of these clients are never available when I reach out to them, but meanwhile I have to basically had to leave my sick grandmother’s bedside to meet 2 clients years ago. And one even had the nerve to say, “if you’re not here by 10, just cancel”. And this was after I drove from Fort Lauderdale to Tampa. What a fucking bitch of a client now that I look back. So rude. 
 

And @BenjaminNicholas is right. Some of that is due to just being a Black gay sex worker. They expect super-hero powers: hard dick, fast arrival, no deposit…because we’re all broke and scammers and need money, stereotypical speaking.

And @Monarchy79and @pubic_assistance need to stop spreading that false propaganda making it seem like I’m the reason and fault for everything that I encounter. No, it’s not. I don’t give a fuck how much you don’t like it, don’t want to hear or don’t believe it. I will keep talking about it over, and over, and over, and over again until either one of you say: I understand. I emphasize. I see your point of view and realize it’s NOT YOU, it’s them. 

The reason why I’m posting all these messages, is to show that these things I talk about are reality, and nobody can gaslight that existence. Sometimes it’s just hard to say: There are some people, some gay men online, in this country: they’re cheap, they waste sex workers time, they don’t respect them. And they are a problem for our business. We need to discuss this and do something about it. 

 

Was that so hard? 

Edited September 29, 2023 by Jarrod_Uncut

[Simon Suraci]

@Jarrod_Uncut I stand by what I suggested. Neither you nor the client proposed a specific meeting time. That’s on you both.

[pubic_assistance]

2 hours ago, Jarrod_Uncut said:

The reason why I’m posting all these messages, is to show that these things I talk about are reality

YOUR reality.

Look up Cognitive Dissonance.

 

[Cooper]

Administrator’s Message

Gentlemen, Please! Let’s stay on topic and stop with the personal attacks. 

[Jarrod_Uncut]

4 hours ago, Simon Suraci said:

@Jarrod_Uncut I stand by what I suggested. Neither you nor the client proposed a specific meeting time. That’s on you both.

I get where you’re coming from, I could have suggested a meeting time instead. But I guarantee you: he would have said, “that’s too late for me, let’s plan for another time”. And then not get back to me until 2 years later. Just like he did back in 2021.

However, I did give him an approximate arrival expectation when I said: I’m on my way in 15 minutes, and it’s a 50 minute ride to his location. So there was in no way he could have been “stewing with uncertainty” like you implied. 

On top of that, he was already getting a discount, so to cancel when I’m already in route: was plain and simple: an asshole move. We can nitpick small clues to defend his childish and inconsiderate actions. But all that’s doing is making it seem like I’m responsible for someone’s lack of consideration. And that, I’m not ☝️ 

If he needed a specific time, he could have suggested that. And like I said: he wasn’t in hurry to do so, until the morning of. So…that’s on him. 100%. 

Edited September 30, 2023 by Jarrod_Uncut

[Monarchy79]

7 hours ago, Jarrod_Uncut said:

And @Monarchy79and @pubic_assistance need to stop spreading that false propaganda making it seem like I’m the reason and fault for everything that I encounter. No, it’s not.

If what we are saying is “false”, why are you so triggered by it? 

Only a hit dog hollers….

And you Sir, are howling and hollering. . 

The shoe fits perfectly, you might as well wear it…. 

[Monarchy79]

15 hours ago, Jarrod_Uncut said:

The reason why I’m posting all these messages, is to show that these things I talk about are reality, and nobody can gaslight that existence. 

Dude, the only person who is doing the “gaslighting”, is you. And you’re gaslighting yourself. 

You’re so deluded in your conundrums of “battles”, that you can’t even see your role in being a CONTRIBUTOR in ever single circumstance you’ve mentioned being a “problem” with a client. 

But I will give you your due credit, Barnum & Bailey has nothing on you…. You know how to entertain in these forums and put on the “Greatest Show on Earth!!!” 
 

 

 

Edited September 30, 2023 by Monarchy79

[Jarrod_Uncut]

 

1 hour ago, Monarchy79 said:

Dude, the only person who is doing the “gaslighting”, is you. And you’re gaslighting yourself. 

You’re right. I was a contributor and did gas light myself. Next time I’ll just get a deposit, and not 2nd guess myself into believing 🚮 is anything other than 🚮. No matter how much he’s “dreaming of meeting me”. 
 

Now, can we just settle this and ✌deuces, please?

Edited September 30, 2023 by Jarrod_Uncut

[Guest]

On 9/25/2023 at 9:52 AM, Simon Suraci said:

... I would love to see a positive post from you one day...

[pubic_assistance]

On 9/24/2023 at 5:22 PM, Jarrod_Uncut said:

I’m just fed up with the crap

Even a monkey stops pushing the wrong button after a while.

You're still pushing the same button and expecting a different result.

 

[+ Lucky]

I vote for @Jarrod_Uncut to find a new occupation that might please him a bit.

[Jarrod_Uncut]

3 hours ago, pubic_assistance said:

Even a monkey stops pushing the wrong button after a while.

You're still pushing the same button and expecting a different result.

 

Are you now descending to using racial slurs to get leverage? Should I just go ahead and report that? Because I can do that too…

3 hours ago, Lucky said:

I vote for @Jarrod_Uncut to find a new occupation that might please him a bit.

It’s not the occupation, I’m certainly getting pleased. Just because I talk about an issue, doesn’t imply unhappiness or incompetence. 
 

People  have to step away from this thinking that someone wanting better treatment, equates to not liking what they do. You see it all the time with teachers, in schools, even companies like manufacturing. Flight attendants just as all. Sex work is the only industry, where people don’t want to fight for us. Hell, we don’t even want to fight for each other. It’s very clear even on here, you guys don’t even acknowledge the issue exist. You sweep it under the rug, try to shame and embarrass, while others devil advocate situations and deny the underlying reasons.