I hope that you receive this in the spirit in which it is intended. I retired from being an escort in 2014. I retired from it young. I'm also Black, so you might appreciate my perspective in a different way, but maybe not. Here are 9 actionable things that you can do to help make your life better in my opinion:
1) Think about if you want to stay in the business, and for how long. Think about whether the pros of the business outweigh the cons for you.
2) Move! If you want to stay in the business, you'll need to move to a different city and quickly! You mentioned that you wanted to take care of some things before moving, but you might find it easier to take care of those things if you move first. If you have the means to move, make it a firm goal to do it within the next 30-60 days.
3) Be very selective about where you move to. I did not experience nearly the level of grief that you are experiencing and there are many reasons why I think that is, but I think a lot of it has to do with where I lived and operated the business.
4) Screen out flakes as best as you can. There are things you can do to limit the amount of time wasted with flakes. Be sure to control the conversation and guide them to the details of the appointment as soon as possible. If they are dragging it out, that is a red flag. Move on!
5) Don't engage with people who flake or cancel at the last moment. They are not paying you at that point, so cut off the contact; otherwise, you are donating your time, and engaging will only aggravate you more. If someone flakes, put them on your "do not book" list, and move on quickly! When they contact you again, (and they likely will), do not give them the time of day.
6) Have at least one other source of income. This isn't something specific to just you, but I think everyone should have multiple sources of income. You are less likely to tolerate nonsense from clients when you know you aren't relying on them for your bread and butter. Having more than one source of income is empowering and good for your overall well-being.
7) Therapy. You mentioned having gone to a counselor. Make sure you are working with someone who is giving you actionable steps to help you deal with your responses to frustrations, feedback, and helping with develop a plan for a fulfilling life. Sometimes when people give you very sound feedback on this forum, I sense a sharp defensiveness from you. Defensiveness can be a natural response to protect oneself, but if it is unwarranted defensiveness it can indicate underlying emotional issues. I'm not saying you have emotional issues, but a good therapist can help figure that out.
8 Have an exit plan. I have a handsome face, smooth skin, a nice smile, a 9 inch dick, and a round bottom. I made a lot of money, put it in the stock market, and got out.
9) Make sure you are doing activities and pursuing interests that you are passionate about and find joy in.
Okay, that's all I have to offer. I hope it helps.