What are your red flags?

[+ APPLE1]

In case it's not obvious, I am asking from both the client and provider side of the equation. What are the tell tale signs in communication, or pics, or ads that make you say "I am crossing this one off the list," or "I need to proceed with caution and get more info?"

Edited April 29, 2023 by APPLE1
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[Jamie21]

This has been covered a lot elsewhere, ad nauseam…..but let’s dive in again because new red flags crop up occasionally.

Mine are (from the providers perspective)

- Endless chat. I have one guy who crops up every few months ‘hi what’s your rate’…’hi can I suck you during the massage’…’where are you’…’how does it work’.. It’s gone on for 5 years. He’ll never book.

- Cock pics. Honestly I’ve seen every type of cock. Yours might be lovely but I really don’t care until it visits me ok?

- Calls from excited husbands (who are self pleasuring during the call) to book a surprise massage for their partner or wife….”she’d like you to fuck her”… No mate she wouldn’t appreciate that and I’m not doing surprises, goodbye.

- A text or message from clients who can’t type more than one word: ‘service’ or ‘massage’ or ‘rates?’. If he can’t be bothered to form a sentence how’s he going to be bothered to visit?

- Any enquiry that is ‘hey are you free now / in next half hour’. No, sorry I’m not free at short notice. If you don’t want me to prepare properly you’re probably not visiting for the right reasons. Have a wank it will be cheaper. 

- The phrase “I’ll definitely book” used during the conversation about services etc. It actually means ‘I’ll definitely think about definitely booking’. The interaction by chat and the booking in their head is all that will ever happen. 

90% of clients are fabulous. None of those red flags happen. The other 10% however could take up > 50% of the time if you let them however from experience the red flags are so obvious that you can just cut them off quickly. 
 

 

 

 

 

[+ The Big Guy]

I like a full/direct response to my opening to my first text which covers the basics that are not included in the ad such as rate, general location, mutual touch etc.   when I don’t get that I usually move on. 

[Medin]

When the provider doesn't answer any of my basic questions such as rate, location, availability. Another is when a provider quotes a rate that is far from local market rates, I stop the conversation.   

 

[jawjateck]

The provider never provides a rate to my proposed scenario, but is clear that an (sometimes unknown) upfront deposit will be required to book the session. Those are time wasters and scammers.

[John]

From a clients perspective:

PNP

Not a single smile in any of the pictures

If I ask multiple questions and don't get answers to all of them--even worse: if I repeat a question and get no answer.

[Archangel]

No headshots in the ad

I also as a general rule interpret short text messages, especially in response to longer ones, as generally uninterested. 
 

Me: Hey! I saw your ad and would like to ask a few questions. Could you please tell me your rate? Your ad says you’re versatile. Do you prefer to top? I prefer BB. Is that good? 
Him: Hey. Yeah.

If I have an interaction like that, I just move on. I’m going to get frustrated long before we ever potentially meet. 

[DWnyc]

38 minutes ago, Archangel said:

No headshots in the ad

I also as a general rule interpret short text messages, especially in response to longer ones, as generally uninterested. 
 

Me: Hey! I saw your ad and would like to ask a few questions. Could you please tell me your rate? Your ad says you’re versatile. Do you prefer to top? I prefer BB. Is that good? 
Him: Hey. Yeah.

If I have an interaction like that, I just move on. I’m going to get frustrated long before we ever potentially meet. 

To be fair the provider may be thinking conversely, I don’t have the time to reply in detail As I’m busy with something else (maybe answering other messages) and this way I at least am responsive ..,

[Medin]

1 hour ago, John said:

From a clients perspective:

PNP

Not a single smile in any of the pictures

If I ask multiple questions and don't get answers to all of them--even worse: if I repeat a question and get no answer.

Yes, the lack of a single smile in any photo is definitely one of mine as well.  Usually says something about the guy's personality/attitude.  

[DWnyc]

I’d say more a pet peeve than a red flag but if I ask 3/4 questions and some are left unanswered (eg rate) even after follow up, I can’t tell is that because of negotiation, a sensitivity about putting something in writing because of the nature of the transaction etc. 

My biggest red flags are providers asking for deposits and photos or other identifying information (full legal name, “real” phone number not burner etc).

Added to that I also have no patience for obvious rudeness or demonstrating a short fuse. Not the kind which may be a misunderstanding because a text exchange where i may misunderstand tone, but aggressive language, calling me an idiot or saying something like “can’t you read? It’s on my ad” (and it isn’t always or is buried and unclear”). Or arrogance and haughtiness “don’t waste my time” in the ad type stuff before we even speak. Putting that in writing isn’t going to change any potential time waster’s behavior but stating it that way sends a different message. I know I’m not a time waster and am sincere, even if mistakes convey another message to someone who doesn’t know me, and there are ways to politely say the same things.

Am not going to be naked in front of you if all this is considered acceptable behavior. 

As @Jamie21 says some of these topics have been discussed a lot so I won’t go into detail other than to say I know some are ok with some of these, I am not.

[DWnyc]

14 minutes ago, Medin said:

Yes, the lack of a single smile in any photo is definitely one of mine as well.  Usually says something about the guy's personality/attitude.  

Bad teeth … 😊

[DWnyc]

4 hours ago, jawjateck said:

The provider never provides a rate to my proposed scenario, but is clear that an (sometimes unknown) upfront deposit will be required to book the session. Those are time wasters and scammers.

More than once I’ve been given bank details or a link to a website or asked if I prefer Venmo or cashapp etc before the first question is even asked (ie even if I’m not a scammer, pay me for the privilege of even considering you as a potential client). Moving on … 

[DWnyc]

15 hours ago, APPLE1 said:

In case it's not obvious, I am asking from both the client and provider side of the equation. What are the tell tale signs in communication, or pics, or ads that make you say "I am crossing this one off the list," or "I need to proceed with caution and get more info?"

If you feel you need to proceed with caution, why proceed at all? 

[NyGold]

1 hour ago, Medin said:

Yes, the lack of a single smile in any photo is definitely one of mine as well.  Usually says something about the guy's personality/attitude.  

I think some providers like to convey a tough / rough image and some clients like it 

 

[Lazarus]

Rentmen ad always says : Available Now

[NyGold]

4 hours ago, Lazarus said:

Rentmen ad always says : Available Now

That wouldn’t be a problem … if you didn’t get a reply saying “what, you think I’m available all the time?? “ 😊

[+ Coolwave35]

When allllll the photos are model shots. 
 

when the most recently uploaded pic is 3 years old. 
 

when a provider gives enough details for me to ID one of their clients. 

Edited April 30, 2023 by Coolwave35

[Jarrod_Uncut]

9 hours ago, NyGold said:

I think some providers like to convey a tough / rough image and some clients like it 

 

That’s a tough one…I have to really pick and choose what smiling pics I put up. I don’t think it says anything in particular about the person, just moreso the look they want to give.

For some people, smiling can come off looking cheesy in pictures. I mean, even some celebrities smile/don’t smile often in most all their pictures. Or it’s just the overall serious sexy look, versus the playful sexy look. For example:

[Jarrod_Uncut]

On 4/29/2023 at 1:26 AM, APPLE1 said:

In case it's not obvious, I am asking from both the client and provider side of the equation. What are the tell tale signs in communication, or pics, or ads that make you say "I am crossing this one off the list," or "I need to proceed with caution and get more info?"

Everything what @Jamie21 said, but also any weird stuff. Like today: I had a guy tell me his daughter was in the place and to be very discreet if I come over. And before that he asked if I could come now, and wanted 2 hours. Everything just started sounding sketchy, and in my area: 90% of the booking requests here are sketchy anyway: so I sent him a deposit request just to rule out anything weird.
Didn’t receive it so, likely bullet dodged. And people wonder why I ask for deposits. If they been in the game as long as I have: they’d ask for it too.
 

I’m open to different scenarios but, it’s better when there’s no surprises or things omitted. Because then I have to start asking extra questions and making sure I’m not stepping into some shit. At the end of the day, long as it’s not a risky situation I’m good. 

[Jamie21]

40 minutes ago, Jarrod_Uncut said:

Everything what @Jamie21 said, but also any weird stuff. Like today: I had a guy tell me his daughter was in the place and to be very discreet if I come over. And before that he asked if I could come now, and wanted 2 hours. Everything just started sounding sketchy, and in my area: 90% of the booking requests here are sketchy anyway: so I sent him a deposit request just to rule out anything weird.
Didn’t receive it so, likely bullet dodged. And people wonder why I ask for deposits. If they been in the game as long as I have: they’d ask for it too.
 

I’m open to different scenarios but, it’s better when there’s no surprises or things omitted. Because then I have to start asking extra questions and making sure I’m not stepping into some shit. At the end of the day, long as it’s not a risky situation I’m good. 

Oh that’s awkward. At least he told you. I once turned up at an outcall and the guys wife and daughter were there. We go into the room he wanted to do the massage in and his daughter was playing in there. He said to me “don’t worry she’ll go upstairs with her mother”. Throughout the massage I could hear them upstairs. I asked him if he was ok with this and checked that he knew it was a sensual massage (happy ending style, done naked etc) and he confirmed yes all ok. He didn’t even lock the door to the room we were in. I felt quite uncomfortable but as I was there and he seemed fine with it all I went ahead but it wasn’t the most relaxing session (for me at least). He seemed to enjoy it. Paid me a nice tip. Honestly you meet all sorts of people doing this work, I’m constantly surprised. 

[+ APPLE1]

11 hours ago, DWnyc said:

If you feel you need to proceed with caution, why proceed at all? 

Well first, I guess because I don't consider myself infallible when it comes to interpreting human behavior. Second, because I think communication can frequently have ambiguity based on individual styles and experiences, so sometimes clarification is significant.

[SouthOfTheBorder]

dealbreakers from client perspective,

any reference to PNP in the ad

any visual clues re: PNP - there’s a look 

any visual clues to a disorganized environment 

any mention of “anything goes” or similar risky behavior

no reviews or unacceptable ratio of neg reviews (more than 10% NO)

more than 4-6 hours time to respond to inquiry 

pressure to book immediately 

deposits 

younger than 26

hubris 

providers soliciting on hookup apps - not professional 

 

Edited April 30, 2023 by SouthOfTheBorder

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

Endless back-and-forth.  If we can't nail it down in three/four emails, it's probably not happening.

Drugs.  Nope.

Intro emails with one clipped sentence.  If they can't write a short paragraph, I likely can't find time in my schedule.

[Thumper]

On 4/29/2023 at 1:34 AM, Jamie21 said:

- The phrase “I’ll definitely book” used during the conversation about services etc. It actually means ‘I’ll definitely think about definitely booking’. The interaction by chat and the booking in their head is all that will ever happen. 

 

Oh I hate that I've become one of these people.  2 Months ago, when AntonioBorderro in Los Angeles popped up on Rentmen  I reached out to 1. Compliment on him on being so friggin sexy (he's exactly my type), and 2. also to ask about his general availability and rate.  He was friendly and informative in his response and then....months have gone by and I haven't hired him.  When I had money I hired and reviewed dozens of guys.  I just don't have the $300 right now.  I simply don't.  I WANT HIM, but right now I don't have the money.  My fear is that he'll view me as Jamie21 has described, as someone who isn't/wasn't serious.  

 

 

[MikeBiDude]

3 hours ago, Thumper said:

Oh I hate that I've become one of these people.  2 Months ago, when AntonioBorderro in Los Angeles popped up on Rentmen  I reached out to 1. Compliment on him on being so friggin sexy (he's exactly my type), and 2. also to ask about his general availability and rate.  He was friendly and informative in his response and then....months have gone by and I haven't hired him.  When I had money I hired and reviewed dozens of guys.  I just don't have the $300 right now.  I simply don't.  I WANT HIM, but right now I don't have the money.  My fear is that he'll view me as Jamie21 has described, as someone who isn't/wasn't serious.  

 

 

So wait…you reached out to him knowing you couldn’t afford to hire?