What are your red flags?

[+ DrownedBoy]

On 5/22/2023 at 1:56 PM, ncc1701d said:

ask you all the same questions again

This was a red flag I missed before. I paid for it.

[KennF]

On 5/7/2023 at 3:39 PM, Simon Suraci said:

Various translations:

“I couldn’t be bothered to tell you I can’t fulfill your appointment.”

“This gig is much more important to me than your appointment.”

“I expect you to have huge gaps of flexible, unplanned availability for me.”

“I intentionally double booked hoping one commitment would fall through.”

“I intentionally didn’t bother to check my schedule, and by doing so, I unintentionally double booked. Deal with it.”

Thank you.

It is a pleasure to hear that I'm not the only one who reads the un-intended messaging.

I've been a service provider and a client.  I find that my expectations, as a client, need to be managed.  If you set an appointment up, then my expectations are that we'll meet.   The excuse of not meeting is nice, but it does not fulfill the service expectation.

[KennF]

On 4/30/2023 at 7:03 PM, Maximus69 said:

- Client who's ramble on. If you're serious everything can be answered in 10 texts or less and even that's generous.

I'm not sure how I feel about this.  I understand that the provider's time is worth consideration.  And, many a provider has been scammed or had their time wasted.

But, at the same time, the client is dealing with an unknown factor.  When booking an experience, a client doesn't want to end up feeling disappointed.  Many a client has been scammed.  They need to work through to make sure the provider is a good choice.

10 texts... hmmmm...  

I'm not sure how to quantify "serious" in this context.  Does it mean "if the client is booking" or "if the client is considering booking" or "if the client could be persuaded to book"?

I guess everyone has their own opinions.

[Archangel]

Tl/dr: it depends on the type of service sought if 10 messages is sufficient to setup a satisfactory meetup
 

For some meetups 10 messages is sufficient. For others, it’s not. Depending on what you’re looking for, if a provider thinks they know everything he needs to know in less than 10 messages in order to deliver a quality experience, he well might not be the right provider. No provider is entitled to a booking from any client. Some escorts will take the time to understand specific requests while others aren’t looking to fulfill specific requests. It’s also unlikely a provider who thinks 10 messages or less to understand special requests is going to take the time or appreciate reading lengthy explanatory texts, so as to cut down on the number of messages.

 

[Emir]

Pics from the 2010s

 

 

[bigdipper]

And Jasper’s website is circa 1998

[KennF]

22 hours ago, Archangel said:

For some meetups 10 messages is sufficient. For others, it’s not. Depending on what you’re looking for, if a provider thinks they know everything he needs to know in less than 10 messages in order to deliver a quality experience, he well might not be the right provider.

Just set up something fairly easily.  Nothing elaborate.  But the basics took 20 texts.  And that didn't include any pics or clarifications or language issues.  Plus we have a reconfirm  set of texts that will happen the day before.  Quick and easy, but ... 10?  Sorry. 

If I know them, then there is relationship building chit-chat to make.  If I don't know them, then there is trust and repour building chit-chat.

As long as the conversation moves on to the next proper step, and we knock down potential obstacles, then sure...text me.

[edinbrooklyn]

Ad on Rentmen.com that starts:

”The massage begins with . . . “

[+ DrownedBoy]

19 hours ago, Emir said:

Pics from the 2010s

 

 

I believe the following profile meets the record with old photos.

The guy does say he's pushing 50, yet those photos were definitely taken in the days before cell phones. I guess I won't know what he looks like now.

ConnorMuscleMan - Male Escort, Gay massage - Tysons | Rent.Men

APP.RENT.MEN

---

ConnorMuscleMan Gay Escort in Tysons, Virginia, available for Gay Escorting,Erotic Massage,Bodywork. | Find all the best Male Escorts at Rent.Men

 

[Emir]

When pics are AI generated

[Jamie21]

>10 texts…yes it’s a red flag, not necessarily an ‘ignore’ but it still indicates you’re going to spend hours of unpaid time in responding to him. That kind of wears you down after a while. 

I have one potential client who has been messaging with questions, observations, requests, pics etc for 4 years on and off. On 3 occasions he’s actually booked a session only to send a message a day or so before the session with some ‘excuse’ to cancel (Covid is a good one). I know 99% for sure he won’t ever get up the courage to book. I’ve even told him that he shouldn’t open this Pandora’s box unless he’s absolutely sure he wants to explore. 

Yes, >10 texts can be a red flag especially depending on how the conversation progresses. I’d say almost all the information one needs is on my website so anyone asking lots of questions either hasn’t read it or is undecided. 

 

[AZN_NYC]

22 hours ago, Emir said:

When pics are AI generated

If the pics are AI generated then 100% profile is scam, I am wondering how these photos passed the verification of RM? I saw some profiles with verified photos but the pics are obviously AI generated or even like a cartoon. For those who don't know, you need to take a camera selfie photo with your name hand-written on a piece of paper for them to validate! 

[Archangel]

On 6/16/2023 at 3:59 AM, Jamie21 said:

Yes, >10 texts can be a red flag especially depending on how the conversation progresses. I’d say almost all the information one needs is on my website so anyone asking lots of questions either hasn’t read it or is undecided. 

Sure. It can be, depending on how the conversation progresses. It doesn’t mean it necessarily is, however.

It seems to me such a rigid understanding doesn’t take into account the vagaries of life.

[Jamie21]

1 hour ago, Archangel said:

Sure. It can be, depending on how the conversation progresses. It doesn’t mean it necessarily is, however.

It seems to me such a rigid understanding doesn’t take into account the vagaries of life.

Rigid?? Really? When I said ‘can be’ and ‘depending’! 

And a red flag is just that. Red flags are indicative of a problem not definitive of one. A whole series of red flags? Yes that’s a problem. I’ve engaged in thousands of enquiries whilst doing this job. I think my data on what constitutes a red flag is quite robust now 😉. 
 

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

On 6/15/2023 at 7:58 PM, Emir said:

When pics are AI generated

I wouldn't call all of these 'generated,' more that a few of these guys got the Lucille Ball-Mame-Vaseline camera treatment.

These days, there's a fine line between a natural, skilled edit and mass blurring until all facial features look like a matte blob of flesh toned Play-Doh.

I have no problem with guys wanting a sharper jawline or tweaked nose, but damn, get the surgery/filler done first so you show up actually looking like that person.

Edited June 19, 2023 by BenjaminNicholas

[Archangel]

@Jamie21, what I mean by rigid is “ten.” As if nine is fine. It’s like saying someone 17 years and 364 days old isn’t an adult but the next day they are. I’ve met 80 year olds who aren’t adults, really. I don’t think anyone is questioning your experience. I just find so many rules around something that’s supposed to be fun, a lot of fun, a bit…unfun. 

[Wolfer]

On 6/17/2023 at 1:09 AM, AZN_NYC said:

If the pics are AI generated then 100% profile is scam, I am wondering how these photos passed the verification of RM? I saw some profiles with verified photos but the pics are obviously AI generated or even like a cartoon. For those who don't know, you need to take a camera selfie photo with your name hand-written on a piece of paper for them to validate! 

I've been dabbling with AI imagery and have a decade plus experience with Photoshop and this would actually be surprisingly easy to fake (with the right skillset). The reason is, why would anyone? Because it might be easy but requires a lot of grunt work (it takes a few hours at the least).

My red flags is when I need to repeat questions. As in: I ask 2 or 3 questions and they only answer one of them and then go silent until I prod them with a repeat question (while I also simultaneously push the overall conversation along towards setting a date for a session).

[Jamie21]

5 hours ago, Archangel said:

@Jamie21, what I mean by rigid is “ten.” As if nine is fine. It’s like saying someone 17 years and 364 days old isn’t an adult but the next day they are. I’ve met 80 year olds who aren’t adults, really. I don’t think anyone is questioning your experience. I just find so many rules around something that’s supposed to be fun, a lot of fun, a bit…unfun. 

Ah ok, but I don’t draw the line at 10. I was using it figuratively as a rough guide. My opinion doesn’t suddenly switch when the client sends the 11th text! It slowly develops as the texts increase in number…and always in context of course. 
To clients yes this is fun, and it is to me too (or else I wouldn’t do the job, and of course a fun experience is part of what I’m hoping to offer) but it is also work and so that means there needs to be some ways of working around it otherwise you find you’re not making a living. One has to try and minimise the transactional part of course but it’s not possible to eliminate it. 

[edinbrooklyn]

A towel on a bed. But by then it’s too late.

[+ ButchAtl]

7 hours ago, Wolfer said:

My red flags is when I need to repeat questions. As in: I ask 2 or 3 questions and they only answer one of them and then go silent until I prod them with a repeat question (while I also simultaneously push the overall conversation along towards setting a date for a session).

Not necessarily a red flag for me, but I do find it a bit irritating that sometimes they either fail to read the entire text I sent or just ignore the rest of the questions.  I am usaully only asking about general location and price.  How is that so hard? 

[EastbayMike]

5 hours ago, edinbrooklyn said:

A towel on a bed. But by then it’s too late.

Always ask before you book! Helps weed out the real masseurs from the rub n tug crowd. 

[Archangel]

On 6/21/2023 at 10:52 AM, ButchAtl said:

Not necessarily a red flag for me, but I do find it a bit irritating that sometimes they either fail to read the entire text I sent or just ignore the rest of the questions.  I am usaully only asking about general location and price.  How is that so hard? 

You may end up needing more than 10 texts then! 😏 

[Wolfer]

Another red flag is last minute plan changes. Any time an escort has asked me (quite last minute) to push back the start time (sometimes even by an hour!) or, more recently, told me he'd be hosting at a completely different address at the other side of the city than the one initially confirmed, it's never been a good session. 

The last time this happened I just canceled the session, even though I did not have other plans and would have been able to accommodate the difference. But my mood had been so soured that I wouldn't have been able to enjoy it anyway. To top it off the provider got annoyed with me for not agreeing to the (very last minute) change in plans without even apologizing to me. 

[Emir]

"ChatGPT, I want you to draw me like one of your French girls"

[Archangel]

On 6/25/2023 at 4:50 PM, Emir said:

This looks like a serious case for Terry Dubrow and Paul Nassif! 😆