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What are your red flags?


APPLE1

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Well I think when one talks  "red flags"  it is important to know that those flags can change over time.   I still remember when I first started escorting,   I didn't want a client that didn't come with a referral.  It was important for me to know who they were and it was legit.   It was all about my own comfort level as a newbie to the business.   Times change,  but some things don't.   I like client's who give a clear and concise message about what they want and what they are looking for.   If I'm booked at a hotel,  a location that is clear.   A ref flag for me is some indecision or a lack of clarity.    If I were a client,  I would think talking to an escort who is impersonal,  insensitive or unprofessional would be a red flag.

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  • 1 month later...

Something I'm seeing more often lately, providers who mention they're into findom (financial domination) in their ad.  I do have a mild kink where I enjoy being dominated, but it doesn't extend to my wallet.  I guess I just get a sense that they'd be bringing it up all through the session. 

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5 hours ago, poolboy48220 said:

Something I'm seeing more often lately, providers who mention they're into findom (financial domination) in their ad.  I do have a mild kink where I enjoy being dominated, but it doesn't extend to my wallet.  I guess I just get a sense that they'd be bringing it up all through the session. 

Yup. If I see "findom," I close the ad immediately.

It takes a new level of lazy to think you can make a living telling others to give you money.

And it takes someone born into money who could enjoy throwing it away.

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8 hours ago, DrownedBoy said:

Yup. If I see "findom," I close the ad immediately.

It takes a new level of lazy to think you can make a living telling others to give you money.

And it takes someone born into money who could enjoy throwing it away.

I disagree. Some fin subs, “pay pigs” among other terms do not have the kind of money to support their habit and it can get really out of hand. I listened to a podcast about this a while ago on This is Uncomfortable. Sure, some have lots of money and send it freely to providers BUT remember that act gives them a huge rush and that action provides value to the client. I fail to see how it’s that different than paying a significant amount of money for skydiving, or for more mainstream vanilla erotic services.

Findom is not for everyone. Certainly not for me. Heck, it’s not even for most people, but for the few with this kink, findom play is a cathartic, thrilling, and fulfilling experience. You don’t have to understand or identify with those who enjoy findom play to respect that it’s a thing.

When a provider lists findom, that means it is an OPTION, not an exclusive demand for clients seeking that service. It’s the same trouble as marketing yourself as only a top or only a bottom. You lose a big chunk of your audience if you’re perfectly comfortable providing either or both. Same goes for niche interests. I don’t expect every client to express interest in bdsm play, for example, but some hire me for that and they love it. How would I reach those clients if I don’t list it?

When you see a hashtag or mention of a kink you don’t like, I would advise not immediately eliminating that provider. He is trying to appeal to a wide audience, including a portion with some niche interests. If he has experience or interest in niche kinks, more power to him. It doesn’t necessarily mean he is ONLY seeking to provide that one particular service. It just means he’s willing to provide that service for those who want it.

Regarding the lazy sentiment... It is work to do this. Different than a traditional provider service, yes, and highly specific, but work all the same. There’s an art to doing findom well and not everyone can. Also, not everyone will. That’s part of the appeal for the client. I don’t claim to understand it all perfectly, but I’ve done enough to know it’s not always as simple or easy as you might expect. Then sometimes it is. Just depends.

You try doing it as part of your living for a while and then report back on how easy it is and how lazy someone must be to consider offering it as a service to willing, interested clients who will hire someone else if not you. Also…please do report back on all the scammers and game players and fakers and flakes and time wasters and weirdos and creeps who aren’t paying you willy nilly in minutes like you thought they would but rather are consuming lots of your time anyway…and still not paying.

This niche service presents some of the same problems of providing a traditional vanilla provider service. It eliminates many problems but some are exactly the same. It’s not always as simple or easy as it might seem. Until you walk a mile in a findom’s shoes, I don’t think you have the right to judge either party. When a provider lists findom, there’s really no reason to run and hide, unless that’s the only thing they offer.
 

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Well I have a number of "red flags"  with clients,   one is just looking at my ad dozens of times and not asking any questions about services.   I like clarity and clients who are serious and direct to the point.   That doesn't mean that someone who isn't  and drags the process out isn't "client worthy",  it takes a little more time to understand where he is coming from and if he is a good prospect as a client.    One of the oddest conversations I ever had with a perspective client was one that asked me if I'd ever consider escorting overseas as the money was good .   He said he could help facilitate that process.    I never asked any more questions,  I just considered that a huge red flag.

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On 4/30/2023 at 2:34 PM, Coolwave35 said:

When allllll the photos are model shots. 
 

when the most recently uploaded pic is 3 years old. 
 

when a provider gives enough details for me to ID one of their clients. 

Seriously true!!  When Massuer has all professional photos they do not look like that in real life. Anyone could look sexy with correct light and camera angle. 

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On 4/29/2023 at 4:06 PM, NyGold said:

I think some providers like to convey a tough / rough image and some clients like it 

Even the "tough guys" should show a softer side at least from a business prospective 😉

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  • 4 weeks later...

How much initial texting conversation between a client and provider is appropriate to seal the deal? It can be quick and easy to communicate time and rate, but really understanding the service the client desires or the service the provider is interested in providing may involve an actual conversation (so many minutes!).
 

As a client, I always reach out with a stack of photos, self-description, and the scenario I’m interested in, as well as my preferred time-frame. The provider’s initial response had better be engaging and show an understanding of and genuine interest in the scenario. I’ve had great, brief, sexy conversations with some first rate providers. If the provider can’t show (or won’t fake) a little sexy interest in the meet-up, I know it’s not for me.

In my line of work, the cost of “business development” is recovered by having a consistent, satisfied, repeated customer base. 

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My red flags 🚩 

raw

pnp

motels

"how big are your feet?"

"that should work"

receiving excessive unsolicited explicit photos.

exclusivity proposals

bragging about your wealth ( it's just gross 🤢

Edited by Vin_Marco
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On 9/13/2023 at 3:04 PM, poolboy48220 said:

Something I'm seeing more often lately, providers who mention they're into findom (financial domination) in their ad.  I do have a mild kink where I enjoy being dominated, but it doesn't extend to my wallet.  I guess I just get a sense that they'd be bringing it up all through the session. 

 

On 9/13/2023 at 8:19 PM, DrownedBoy said:

Yup. If I see "findom," I close the ad immediately.

It takes a new level of lazy to think you can make a living telling others to give you money.

And it takes someone born into money who could enjoy throwing it away.

I think it's because they've been told stories (real or imagined)) about guys who have cash slaves, etc. They're just giving it a shot. 

 

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On 9/13/2023 at 7:19 PM, DrownedBoy said:

Yup. If I see "findom," I close the ad immediately.

It takes a new level of lazy to think you can make a living telling others to give you money.

And it takes someone born into money who could enjoy throwing it away.

This is your opinion.  You're entitled to it.

There are others who would heartily disagree.  This is how THEY get sexual gratification.

And most laymen have it absolutely wrong when it comes to the findom scene:  It's the guy paying who has all the power, but the real game is to make him think otherwise.  A smart escort in this situation never forgets that.

It's just a temporary exchange of power.  No different than a lot of other scenes.

Edited by BenjaminNicholas
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22 hours ago, Vin_Marco said:

"how big are your feet?"

This is not a red flag for me. It’s surprising how many clients have a thing for feet! I’m size 11  (UK size) 😉.

All the others I concur. Especially the unsolicited dick pics and the nonchalant responses which imply lack of commitment to keeping the booking. But the biggest red flag is a message that just says “hey”. 
 

 

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12 minutes ago, Jamie21 said:

This is not a red flag for me. It’s surprising how many clients have a thing for feet! I’m size 11  (UK size) 😉.

All the others I concur. Especially the unsolicited dick pics and the nonchalant responses which imply lack of commitment to keeping the booking. But the biggest red flag is a message that just says “hey”. 
 

 

I wear a size 12 😎 the people I see that do love my feet, really love my feet. I was referring to the people that I've never met who contact me on RM, asking me, "how big are your feet?" Historically, those rarely pan out, simply PIC COLLECTORS or just folks jerking off to senseless correspondence.

Edited by Vin_Marco
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1 hour ago, Vin_Marco said:

I wear a size 12 😎 the people I see that do love my feet, really love my feet. I was referring to the people that I've never met who contact me on RM, asking me, "how big are your feet?" Historically, those rarely pan out, simply PIC COLLECTORS or just folks jerking off to senseless correspondence.

What a coincidence. We have the same shoe size 😂😂

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5 hours ago, Vin_Marco said:

I wear a size 12 😎 the people I see that do love my feet, really love my feet. I was referring to the people that I've never met who contact me on RM, asking me, "how big are your feet?" Historically, those rarely pan out, simply PIC COLLECTORS or just folks jerking off to senseless correspondence.

I was originally confused as to why you had thought that haha.  Now i understand your perspective.

Maybe in an escort profile they should just list their shoe shize with other info in order to cut-down on some of the question volume? 

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31 minutes ago, GTMike said:

I was originally confused as to why you had thought that haha.  Now i understand your perspective.

Maybe in an escort profile they should just list their shoe shize with other info in order to cut-down on some of the question volume? 

Or it might open another can of worms and endless podiatry inquiries 🤣

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7 hours ago, Vin_Marco said:

I wear a size 12 😎 the people I see that do love my feet, really love my feet.

Is 12 considered big, as in appealing to the feet-loving people? Are prehensile toes an advantage? If so, I should have been advertising that when I was a provider way too, too many years ago. 😆

Edited by Your Man in Arlington
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