What are your red flags?

[marylander1940]

On 4/30/2023 at 12:49 PM, MikeBiDude said:

So wait…you reached out to him knowing you couldn’t afford to hire?

That's why SO many ads say, "serious inquiries only". 

[DWnyc]

More than once I’ve shown up to a provider where he hasn’t been there … or I call to get the actual address if he gave me a nearby meeting place and can’t reach him when I’m supposedly a block or two away. And on the “you get what you pay for” debate the two times I went for above my typical budget and the local market average rate I experienced this as well (one guy ghosted, the other said when I arrived outside his apartment building “I’m still on set filming can you wait an hour or so?” (Didn’t know he was “on set”!)

 

@Simon Suraci ‘s example was different of course (one off understandable unintended etc) and is different from what I’ve likely experienced from others,  but I now make a point of confirming before I head out. That way I don’t waste time and if he’s forgotten / has any doubts he has time to either make sure he understands I’m really on my way and has a chance to tell me no. And if he’s double booked (eg with a lengthier session) and didn’t bother to tell me he has a chance to do so.

 

 

 

 

[marylander1940]

7 minutes ago, DWnyc said:

More than once I’ve shown up to a provider where he hasn’t been there … or I call to get the actual address if he gave me a nearby meeting place and can’t reach him when I’m supposedly a block or two away. And on the “you get what you pay for” debate the two times I went for above my typical budget and the local market average rate I experienced this as well (one guy ghosted, the other said when I arrived outside his apartment building “I’m still on set filming can you wait an hour or so?” (Didn’t know he was “on set”!)

 

@Simon Suraci ‘s example was different of course (one off understandable unintended etc) and is different from what I’ve likely experienced from others,  but I now make a point of confirming before I head out. That way I don’t waste time and if he’s forgotten / has any doubts he has time to either make sure he understands I’m really on my way and has a chance to tell me no. And if he’s double booked (eg with a lengthier session) and didn’t bother to tell me he has a chance to do so.

 

 

 

 

We should have a SMH (shaking my head) emoji for posts like this!

I'm sorry you had to deal with such unprofessional behavior!

[Simon Suraci]

31 minutes ago, DWnyc said:

“I’m still on set filming can you wait an hour or so?”

Various translations:

“I couldn’t be bothered to tell you I can’t fulfill your appointment.”

“This gig is much more important to me than your appointment.”

“I expect you to have huge gaps of flexible, unplanned availability for me.”

“I intentionally double booked hoping one commitment would fall through.”

“I intentionally didn’t bother to check my schedule, and by doing so, I unintentionally double booked. Deal with it.”

[Archangel]

1 hour ago, marylander1940 said:

That's why SO many ads say, "serious inquiries only". 

I’m always serious when I inquire. This statement actually means “don’t contact me unless you will book me regardless.” 

[marylander1940]

21 minutes ago, Archangel said:

I’m always serious when I inquire. This statement actually means “don’t contact me unless you will book me regardless.” 

It's a way to avoid timewasters even though they usually don't even bother reading it stats, dates of travel, etc.

Let's remember that now in the era of texting an "inquiry" could take half an hour of texting instead of talking for just a couple of minutes and actually getting a feeling. 

Edited May 7, 2023 by marylander1940

[Simon Suraci]

2 hours ago, marylander1940 said:

That's why SO many ads say, "serious inquiries only". 

I don’t see the point in posting statements like these to ads. The time wasters are going to do what they do regardless. If anything, they are the least likely of anyone to read and understand -much less respect- the statement, or anything else in the ad. If someone can’t afford to hire and they know full well they can’t, they still reach out and waste time asking a bunch of questions.

Hiring is a fantasy. Engaging a provider makes that fantasy feel more real, even if you don’t meet the guy. I get it, and I can’t stop people from doing this. It’s just part of the business I have to deal with on a daily basis by filtering out the bad apples when they start showing red flags. As soon as they do, I make my best effort to decline them politely end the conversation. When necessary, I go the extra step and block them.

Meanwhile, by including statements like the above on the ad, you put off some of the would be serious clients by making them feel like they’re bothering you. Not everyone who contacts you is going to book you. That’s normal. No amount of complaining or disclaimers is going to change that behavior. 

[Luv2play]

On 5/4/2023 at 7:06 PM, Jamie21 said:

I don’t see that dynamic. Many of my clients book weeks in advance. They always seem to turn up. I think there’s other stronger signals that someone isn’t going to turn up.

I agree. I mostly book several weeks in advance because my appointments usually require travel on my part. I live in a small town several hours from larger centers.

Because I am a frequent hirer and have a long track record on RM it has never been a problem. If I have to cancel at the relatively last minute I always send a cancellation fee. In the last year I think these have amounted to over $750 but I would have to check my bank statements as I wire the money.

I almost never send deposits. And rarely request same day appointments. In all my appointments work out smoothly with no hassles on either end.

 

[Lazarus]

People that insist that you call them “Daddy”. Especially when they are younger than you. 

[DWnyc]

5 hours ago, marylander1940 said:

We should have a SMH (shaking my head) emoji for posts like this!

I'm sorry you had to deal with such unprofessional behavior!

Well I’m fully aware it’s a two way issue - and many providers and clients trade views here without understanding the experience behind the counterparty’s positions. 

[DWnyc]

5 hours ago, Simon Suraci said:

Various translations:

“I couldn’t be bothered to tell you I can’t fulfill your appointment.”

“This gig is much more important to me than your appointment.”

“I expect you to have huge gaps of flexible, unplanned availability for me.”

“I intentionally double booked hoping one commitment would fall through.”

“I intentionally didn’t bother to check my schedule, and by doing so, I unintentionally double booked. Deal with it.”

“I was filming for my Only Fans page, please subscribe, I’ll make more money off you that way”

[Quincy_7]

Asking for pics of me and asking for a deposit.

[Jamie21]

“You’re just a sex worker so it doesn’t matter if I flake on you, waste your time and treat your service like it’s something trivial” BUT “if I turn up then you’d better be totally professional and give me a great service or I’ll give you a bad review”. 

Guys, you get the providers you deserve. Treat them like shit?…then  don’t be surprised if they behave in ways that are transactional at best. Treat people with respect for their time and efforts and you’ll get providers that are in it to do a great job. 95% of my clients are the latter, they’re great, but a few are the former although they generally don’t get through to a booking. They’re easy to identify from the first contact and I simply don’t deal with them. 
 

[+ APPLE1]

39 minutes ago, Jamie21 said:

Treat people with respect for their time and efforts and you’ll get providers that are in it to do a great job.

Ohhh if only it were that simple! I am guessing that you weren't the first hire for some of your 95%. If we concede that you were a 2nd, 5th, 50th hire for some of those clients, AND you became a regular provider for them, I think it goes without saying that, some of them waded through a few undesirable providers before they found the skill and professionalism that you offer.

There will always be disrespectful clients and disrespectful providers. That's why we are here right? To learn about other's experiences, to make us think about our behavior, and to give us a window into how others may view things.

Edited May 8, 2023 by APPLE1
Spelling

[Guest leftbench23]

1.  Providers that keep asking for 10 extra minutes so they can get ready and your 6pm appointment turns into a 630pm one!
 

2. providers that ask you to move/reschedule your appointment so they can take a higher paying appointment 

[Archangel]

@Jamie21, has any client ever said that you? 😳 

[Jamie21]

1 hour ago, Archangel said:

@Jamie21, has any client ever said that you? 😳 

Not in as many words. But their behaviour has definitely implied it.

 

[DWnyc]

13 hours ago, Jamie21 said:

 

Guys, you get the providers you deserve. Treat them like shit?…then  don’t be surprised if they behave in ways that are transactional at best. Treat people with respect for their time and efforts and you’ll get providers that are in it to do a great job.

Overlap with some other professions where I just don’t understand why some disrespect them so badly. 

Nurses, teachers, carers etc

So basically I’ll trust you with my kids / elderly or sick loved ones etc but I have no fear or shame in treating you badly.

Or Ill be prepared to get very intimate with you as a provider in a way that should be reserved for very special people … yet I’ll have a parallel interaction with you that’s intentionally so disrespectful. 

[Decatur Guy]

Any of the following give me pause. The more of them that stack up, the greater the pause:

1. When all of the pictures are more than three years old. I don't mind pictures that old as long as they are balanced with more current ones. And I don't even know exactly how to describe it, but "sketchy" looking pictures, as in all out of focus, the person is in dark shadows, someone very far away from the camera or only extreme close-ups, etc. Pictures of people in really dirty apartments or homes.

2. PNP or things like scat. (Those two actually kill it right off the bat).

3. No reviews and the ad has been up more than six months or so. (I don't hold no reviews against newcomers, and I've "taken one for the team" more than once. And more times than not, it worked out well).

4. Ads when the provider says next to nothing about himself and has only a few photos. I've made a few exceptions with that, but only after provider told me more. I also nix ads where the guy comes on too strong with names such as "HoleDestroy-ya" and says stuff like "I'll wreck your hole." (And I say that as someone drawn to Alpha male / Dom types). Ads that hint at criminal activity. 

5. A bunch of pre-conditions in the ad.

6. Ads that are so vaguely worded that I have no idea what the provider is actually willing to provide. I realize these days you can't be too blatant, but I need some idea.

7. Providers who change their online ad and name more than once. (I can overlook a newcomer switching it up once early on after getting the lay of the land better). But if you're on Name No. 3 in one year, something is fishy.

8. Requiring deposits for a regular one-hour or two-hour appointment. I'm sure not all of those are shady -- but I have zero way of knowing who is legit and looking after themselves and who is trying to bilk me. Plus, I have nothing like PayPal anyway.

9. Back to pictures: Someone who has 50 or more pictures, many in the same pose. Ten to twenty well-edited pics with variety of angles and body parts tell you pretty much all you need to know. 

10. Ads where the provider hasn't checked in on it in weeks or months and has old information. That indicates someone who isn't taking this particularly seriously. 

11. Ads that go off on strange tangents. 

12. Ads that are very poorly worded and filled with a bunch of typos and mistakes. (Unless it's obvious that English is a second language for the provider. In that case, it's totally understandable.)

13. Ads from someone well known from videos but who has very few reviews. In that case, I assume that the ad is either a fake or it's legit but the provider charges such high rates that I couldn't afford him anyway.

Edited May 8, 2023 by Decatur Guy

[Archangel]

2 hours ago, Decatur Guy said:

Ads from someone well known from videos but who has very few reviews. In that case, I assume that the ad is either a fake or it's legit but the provider charges such high rates that I couldn't afford him anyway.

Or they’ve gotten poor reviews removed somehow.

[Guest leftbench23]

On 5/8/2023 at 7:40 AM, leftbench23 said:

1.  Providers that keep asking for 10 extra minutes so they can get ready and your 6pm appointment turns into a 630pm one!
 

2. providers that ask you to move/reschedule your appointment so they can take a higher paying appointment 

Adding more!

3. Providers that ask for a $100 deposit immediately after the introductory text or RM message to keep the conversation going! 

[DWnyc]

On 5/4/2023 at 10:48 AM, Rod Hagen said:

uhm...well, that actually happens entirely innocently if your ad's been up for awhile, you just get forgetful or rushed.  Every year, I try to update all my ads w/in a month of my birthday.  Then, months later I'll peak at my ad for no real reason and see that I updated the form, but not the description (or vice versa).  There's no malevolence there, just minor carelessness (senescence, lol?).  Possibly, I think that's true of some of the other discrepancies you mention, they may not be diabolical, just rushed.  Too be clear, it's important and we SHOULDN'T rush, but again, assume it's "just" carelessness and if you're curious, inquire about specifics. 

Right … but then we come back to the cycle of “it’s in my post why are you wasting my time asking … you must be a flake …” etc

The average quality of writing, website design where providers have their own, consistency etc is not great … I put it down to not having the resources / expertise / marketing support etc. but get annoyed when requests for clarification are deflected into something with malintent.

[sjmuktop]

As a client, my biggest red flags are very short (one or two word) answers to any queries I might have prior to booking, which suggests a reluctance to engage and just general disinterest (so why escort in the first place?). 

[ncc1701d]

On 5/4/2023 at 12:58 PM, MuscleDaddyRWC said:

Interesting flip to this.  I generally text asking if they have time today or tomorrow.  I started adding the tomorrow because I've had more than one scoff at same day availability. 

One guy told me he books at least a week if not 2 on advance.  

 

 

Agree..I typically plan ahead, and in fact pass if they respond with "text me the same day and I 'll see if i'm available"....

Other red flags (From a client's perspective):  ask for pics; after confirming everything a week ahead, then when reconfirming the day before ask you all the same questions again; don't promise they kiss or cum or something, and yes, short 1 word answer to typical set up questions, after a day of no response.

[Archangel]

Maybe not so much a red flag as a pet peeve…and reason I’ll “pass”

Guys who blur out or cover their dicks in their ads…

If you have a problem with revealing that on RM or elsewhere, then you probably should reconsider being as escort.