SouthOfTheBorder

thank you for this - one of the most thoughtful & wise comments I’ve ever seen here. this is a site where the core subject of interest is sex in context of providers, reviews & all things related - there is no confusion about that. It’s a place for free expression about topics that are typically off-limits elsewhere. Yet, there are members using this site who attempt to control the narrative, censor and limit those expressions. It’s not because they’re offended - they just don’t like the person posting or they just might disagree. Typically, these are the people keeping the mods busy with their constant reporting & complaints. The “Karens” of the forum I’ve noticed a pattern among a few here whose sole presence is to find fault with the people who post about their real experiences, travel, etc. instead of contributing something worthwhile, they zero in on grammar, spelling, politically correct terminology, etc simply to undermine the real experience conveyed. Seems like a waste of time, but they need something to fill their days. It’s all about their own jealousy & boredom in the end, not making a real contribution. And yes - the best way to deal with them is to place them on ignore. I’ve often thought it would be fun to share our “ignored lists” - likely a definite no-no & that would make them crazy for sure.

using a dead persons social security number for healthcare insurance is not sustainable. He will get caught at some point if it continues & could be very unpleasant. I’d say best plan would be enroll ACA during open enrollment periods and talk to someone familiar w the intricacies & subsides to minimize the actual cost. the worst case scenario is something catastrophic happens, he needs reliable insurance and the fraud is exposed w current situation. it’s much easier to just move on. frequently these type changes appear much more complicated & overwhelming than just getting it done.

this is good news & if it is transitioning to a new business model, then that would require them to be discreet in advertising & promotions. it’s very close to the old Sauna Adan location, but appears as a different address ? I’ll be surprised if it lasts tho - just doesn’t seem to work in Madrid for whatever reason.

and you’re wondering why the coverage was declined ? The insurance company thinks the patient is dead

I’ve been going to Thermas since 2008 & my impression at that time was it had been open for several years. There has never been an issue at Thermas affecting their ability to operate (except for Covid, which is unrelated to the discussion). The owner is present & hands-on, running a safe environment for men. I’ve never had a bad experience there among many visits over the years. Yes, I know about the parties. Debating the legality is a moot point. If Thermas closes one day, it will probably be because of lack of clients due to apps. I’ve often wondered why Thermas works in BCN and nothing comparable in Madrid. First, Sauna Adan in Madrid was a literal dump and the facility in no way compared to Thermas. It was dirty & the working guys were random and surly. I did not feel safe imo. Second, Madrid isn’t flooded w tourists in the same way as BCN & certainly not in context of gay tourists, although that is changing. Third, Madrid is a much more regulated city and it is evident everywhere you look - the streets are cleaner, the city is vibrant and there is no crime wave of petty theft targeted at tourists as in BCN. In short, a true rentboy sauna in Madrid just would not be tolerated by the authorities. of course, the trolls will chime-in who want to pick apart real experiences in lieu of their online “research” btw - I’m happy to see people still posting on this thread ….it is about Thermas !

“I blocked him, he's useless and misinterprets everything as though he's the expert and the almighty of morals, on a board for gay whores, smh My experience vastly overshadows his....in matters that I comment on..... I must have offended him by saying this, Chunky, older & queeny....hit too close to home for him, 😛 I highly recommend the ignore button, for him too.”

gayguides.com in the forums The “other site” is much discussed here. It’s fun to visit for laughs bc it’s so ridiculous - just don’t join as a member bc it has security issues, frequent warnings by Microsoft, etc…. some crossover between here & there - the usual suspects with way too much time

hint - on the other site, they name him. same user name here btw

LOL - there is one person routinely referenced as “most ignored” here & the other site. Entire threads about muting that individual - I’ll bet it’s the same one

@newdad the comment above was about only meeting providers in Rio in saunas bc I got stalked after taking someone back to my hotel. The hotel meeting was without incident, but the provider just happened to be outside my hotel on two different days afterwards. That unnerved me - to know someone was watching & waiting at my hotel. I think it would be worse at an AirBnb without full security.

ah yes, the inevitable & cliche observation made by tourists that don’t live in New York. they all think its unique & hilarious not sure how the 70s/80s is relevant to a sex site in 2024 - but it certainly explains a lot

returning to the topic - I think Bangkok is preferable to Barcelona for providers, venues & overall ambience. The only drawback for Bangkok is the distance for most people and then going when the weather is more pleasant - for me, that would be November until end of March only. And even during the high season, it’s not insanely crowded with tourists where it’s an unpleasant experience. There is also a diversity among the tourists where one nationality doesn’t seem to take over. In Barcelona - it’s the hordes of tourists at all times that makes it unpleasant. And it’s all the very loud Americans that seem to be everywhere. Then add in the daily multiple cruise ships coming & going - not exactly relaxing or enjoyable. In context of this discussion and the OPs original question - Thermas is the one stand-out that makes BCN worthwhile. all that said - I find it puzzling that some here stalk these type forums & contribute nothing about the main subject matter. But rather looking for arguments about things that are unrelated. It must have something to do with getting older, out-of-touch and desperately seeking some type of outlet. obviously they’re not having any real sex.

it’s that their behavior abroad is generally less offensive vs the Americans. Although the British are a close second. you’ve confused being “obsessed” with embarrassment btw - another typical American thing is to boast about ones “accomplishments” and/or seek validation via acquired things. and when that happens - it’s a sure sign of not much at all. typically a poser trying to prove something, which seems to be the case here there are always a few telltale signs that give it away

correct - widespread obesity in the US is another true American stereotype. Mainly due to the poor food supply and weak regulations re; additives & preservatives. The food in the US is designed to make people want more & eat more. The politicians are paid off so nothing will change except maybe some recent legislation in CA. I can shop in the most expensive organic specialty store in NYC and typically the local produce in an average European market is better and a fraction of the cost. Interesting because labor costs in the EU are more, so it doesn’t cost more to deliver the food to market. It’s simply that people will pay more in the US for quality food while the vast majority will accept the garbage.

Lol - because I recognize the difference in American culture vs European culture ……and just about anywhere else. In the United States, the individuals rights take precedence over the greater society in all cases. So, it’s completely expected that when Americans travel abroad their behavior is interpreted as selfish & inconsiderate of others because it’s all about them and their “experience”. Similarly, when Americans are taught from a very early age that everything in the US is the best without question - it breeds an attitude of superiority & condescension that doesn’t translate well to other cultures. Not all Americans of course, but frequent enough that there is a distinct stereotype of an American abroad that is unfortunately true if you observe them often enough outside the United States. In most of Europe, Japan & probably Thailand - the culture is much more based on society as a whole and consideration of others. In Japan - there’s silence on the subway because they don’t want to disturb others. There are no trash cans on the streets of Tokyo because they wouldn’t think to litter and offend others. In Spain - resources are devoted to things that benefit the greater society - such as pristine roads, beautiful airports & the most modern high speed rail system in Europe. While in the US, the infrastructure is dated & falling apart because nobody wants to pay taxes - they don’t see the benefit in things that benefit the greater society. I don’t hate the United States or Americans - but I’ve chosen to live far away from all the selfish & bad behavior as much as possible. When you have the opportunity to live outside the United States for extended periods of time & then return - you notice all the awful things that Americans see as totally normal & routine in everyday life. another thing that has changed the European (and others) perception of the US & Americans is social media, before social media, there was a carefully curated image of the US in film & television that often portrayed a glamorous image not anywhere close to reality. now, they can see the homeless people, poverty, gun violence and all the rest that is the true reality in everyday America. None of this is complicated when you understand the context - and step away for just a bit to consider how Americans & their behavior is seen by others.

a reluctant bottom is a bad bottom - every single time. desire is the necessary ingredient

correct - and given a foreigner has no chance of completely understanding the history in total & all the nuances, it would just sound stupid. this is not surprising. It’s always the Americans

I think any time a foreigner buys property in another country it requires extreme sensitively to local culture & customs, always remembering one is a guest in that country. engaging in complex political issues is the quickest way to show ignorance and disrespect. I’ve seen it many times & the Spaniards just roll their eyes. Similarly, in Thailand one would not venture into a discussion or critique of Thai politics. Thats not how a good guest behaves. and it’s about context. In a city of 11million+ like Bangkok, there doesn’t appear to be any organized movement that is anti-tourist/anti-foreigner. In a population that large, the tourists are visible but not enough of a concentrated presence to be considered problematic. That said, I’m sure the sex-tourists are considered a nuisance. In a city like BCN, it’s completely different where the tourists & foreigners have displaced the local people & destroyed their neighborhoods. Literally, like a daily plague of locusts. Thus, the constant media coverage about anti-tourist/anti-foreigner protests, graffiti and studies by the City to do something about the tourist problem. and it’s definitely much worse in some neighborhoods than others. the worst kind of foreigners are typically the ones who buy property, then stay just long enough to avoid becoming a tax-resident and then the allow others to use their property and making it more or less a transient hotel. Throughout Spain, it’s now common for buildings to restrict short-term use unless the property is licensed, but the typical work-around is to say it’s just family & friends, which actually makes little difference because it’s still transient. It’s definitely viewed more favorably if the apartment is solely used by the owner and even better if the owner becomes a resident for tax purposes - thus contributing to the place where using the services. In Spain, the Americans & British are thought to be the worst visitors/part-time residents as they’re typically entitled w condescending attitudes & know-it-alls while flaunting their relative wealth. Most tend to be very loud & obnoxious compared to Europeans, making them instantly identifiable. In Bangkok, there seems to healthy competition for the most obnoxious among Americans, Indians & Chinese….at least according to flight attendants who work the routes in/out of BKK and some local providers. The common thread - it’s always Americans

I live in Manhattan and frequently use hotels for dates. I prefer the Michelangelo Hotel on 51st & 7th. Huge rooms by NY standards & the hotel is big enough that there is relative anonymity coming & going. Easy subway access and Hells Kitchen adjacent. If not there, then definitely on the Westside above 40th and below 58th. Yes on dayuse.com - great options & reasonable rates.

they don’t seem to loathe tourists in Bangkok, so yes, that makes it different. Or, at least it’s not formally organized like in BCN. you might not pick-up on the anti-tourist/anti-foreigner undercurrent on one quick trip, you will notice with regular visits. just look for the very specific graffiti and attitude among service workers. as mentioned, the only thing that makes BCN a bit like BKK is Thermas. One public venue for paid sex - that’s it. https://www.theolivepress.es/spain-news/2023/08/16/exclusive-brits-told-go-home-we-will-ps-in-your-beer-as-part-of-disturbing-new-anti-tourism-campaign-in-spain-launched-by-fed-up-locals/

it depends where & the behavior of the tourist. In Barcelona - given the sentiments of the locals, probably not a great place for a foreigner to buy. The influx of part-time residents and over-tourism are inextricably linked to the decline in quality of life in the city. Btw - discussing politics in Spain is considered rude & looked down upon - even worse when foreigners decide to weigh-in. Of course, it’s a very American thing to think that they somehow understand it well enough to have an opinion. An American flying a Catalan flag is beyond ridiculous. I can assure you all the Catalan & Spanish people are snickering & mocking it, not so privately either. It used to be a really lovely city, so it’s quite sad what it has become and the inevitable backlash by the local people. The over-tourism issue isn’t new, but seems to have become exponentially worse now w the Instagram hordes, influencers & digital nomads that have taken over. There’s very little they can do to stop or change what’s happened. it’s a victim of its own success - unfortunately you can’t put the genie back in the bottle. This is a well known problem in Europe & several other cities with similar problems. There are literally dozens of articles and research papers doing deep analysis on Barcelona & over-tourism, with all the attendant problems and declining quality of life. Many of the studies conducted the the city of Barcelona and local universities to combat the problems.

Barcelona is unique in Spain as it’s well known they have the most virulent anti-foreigner/anti-tourist sentiments for all the reasons previously discussed here. It’s so well documented from dozens of sources that it’s not even a question. That said - I’m sure the neighbors appreciate the foreigner who has bought a part-time apartment in Barcelona, contributing to their housing shortage & then wades into the very delicate subject that is Spanish/Catalan politics. such poor behavior as a guest in their country. why am I not surprised ? the height of arrogance and just another bad tourist

LOL - there’s a big difference between analyzing statistics & actually experiencing both cities in person to see the differences. Barcelona is a beautiful city w a nice climate & many notable tourist sites - however because of its relatively small city population and tight geography, the millions of tourists & cruise ship passengers make it quite dreadful. Outside of visiting Spaniards, Americans are the dominant tourists there making up 10% of the total. So, yes - if your idea of a good time is with hordes or tourists and being surrounded by very loud Americans at every turn, then Barcelona is for you. Similar to other small European cities like Amsterdam, Venice & Florence - Barcelona has been completely ruined by over-tourism that is all but impossible to unwind. There are many efforts in progress to restrict tourism in Barcelona and that has morphed into a distinct vibe in some sections that tourists are not welcome. It’s common to see graffiti throughout the city “Tourists Go Home” and similar. The reason for the public backlash is a housing shortage due to conversions to tourist apartments and some parts of the city are so inundated with tourists that locals no longer have easy access to everyday goods & services that now cater to tourists. Btw - vast majority of relocated or visiting providers in Spain are from South America, Central America & Caribbean. They overwhelmingly prefer Madrid because it’s just easier for them since Spanish is spoken everywhere and it’s the de facto capital of the Spanish speaking world. In Barcelona - most people can speak Spanish, but whether or not they will is entirely another question. I’ve watched many situations in BCN where whomever refuses to speak Spanish for whatever reason. The Catalan independence movement along with a separate Catalan identity & language is alive and well, manifesting in various ways. Again - something that you need to see and experience in person to see how it really works. If someone has never been to BCN - it can still be worthwhile; just never in the summer months and never in the Old City. Much better to stay in Eixample or if you want a more local experience then, Sarria - Sant Gervasi As for Sitges - it can be nice for a couple of days only, but there are much better options in Spain for a beach vacation.

not really. In the US, it has simply changed in most cities. there are still sex-parties everywhere & more underground/temporary venues for sex. The thing that has changed is who they let in & who they don’t. Most have some sort of door policy or advance list required. Thats how it is in NYC. And then there are the exceptions to all of that like in Ft Lauderdale. In other major cities outside the US, saunas & sex-clubs are still very common. I’d say there’s more sex happening now compared to decades ago. It’s not that it’s less free or less liberating - it’s far more likely that some are just aging out of those environments, particularly in the US where older gay men tend to become invisible. Im traveling outside the US now & in the city I’m visiting - there are at least 4 sex-clubs, several saunas with slings and everything else you can imagine. It’s far from being over. The younger generation would argue the apps make them more free & liberated than having to go to a public venue and mix with those they wouldn’t otherwise. and back to topic - if someone thinks bottoming isn’t for them, then they just haven’t found a good top yet: a complete & total game-changer. Lots of guys think they can top - very few actual good ones.

this is 100% true. In Madrid - it’s common to see much older gay men still doing everything and welcomed everywhere. It’s noticeably different there.