Have you ever refused to pay?

[Wolfer]

Like if the provider was not, for any reason, living up to the agreements. For instance: doesn't look like his photos (older photos or outright catfish), promised to kiss but doesn't, shorts the time by half or more,... 

My most recent experience was a provider whom I'd booked for 2 hours. 15 minutes into the second hour he declared the session over. I did pay for the whole 2 hour session, but I'd be interested in hearing how you have handled these kinds of things? 

(I did point out we still had time but he just said "oh you're checking the time?" then just avoided the topic while he pushed me to the shower while he got dressed) 

[cany10011]

3 minutes ago, Wolfer said:

Like if the provider was not, for any reason, living up to the agreements. For instance: doesn't look like his photos (older photos or outright catfish), promised to kiss but doesn't, shorts the time by half or more,... 

My most recent experience was a provider whom I'd booked for 2 hours. 15 minutes into the second hour he declared the session over. I did pay for the whole 2 hour session, but I'd be interested in hearing how you have handled these kinds of things? 

(I did point out we still had time but he just said "oh you're checking the time?" then just avoided the topic while he pushed me to the shower while he got dressed) 

I guess he is not looking for repeat customers

[cany10011]

The only time I didn't pay the full price was that the guy in question shows up complaining about parking. His whole attitude was sour from the start. I offered half his requested rate for him to leave as I was not in the mood. 

 

[+ nycman]

11 minutes ago, Wolfer said:

Like if the provider was not, for any reason, living up to the agreements. For instance: doesn't look like his photos (older photos or outright catfish), promised to kiss but doesn't, shorts the time by half or more,... 

My most recent experience was a provider whom I'd booked for 2 hours. 15 minutes into the second hour he declared the session over. I did pay for the whole 2 hour session, but I'd be interested in hearing how you have handled these kinds of things? 

(I did point out we still had time but he just said "oh you're checking the time?" then just avoided the topic while he pushed me to the shower while he got dressed) 

In a million years I wouldn’t pay full price in the scenario you describe above. 

I’d say something along the lines of "I’m sorry things didn’t work out the way we planned" and hand him the prorated amount he was due. No tip and zero chance of hiring him in the future. My guess is he’d then quickly change gears and try to hang on for the rest of his agreed to time in hopes of getting the rest of his money, but forget it. "I’m done. Nice to meet you. Good bye." 

Of course, if you paid upfront….well then, the best I can offer is my condolences. Hope you learned a valuable lesson, albeit painful and expensive. Either way, you got swindled and it would help if you identified this provider so the rest of us can avoid falling prey to his scam.

To answer the question, "have I ever done it"?
Oh hell yes, but only when I felt I was being scammed, cheated, and/or lied to. 

[Archbishop]

I’ve only ever had providers ask to be paid upfront, never at the end. I’ve never had an issue, so I have assumed it is the norm. What is the norm for providers asking for payment… at the start or finish?

[+ glennnnn]

I've never had one ask for payment either before or after. I put the cash in an envelope that says 'thank you' on the outside and hand it to him after we finish. A couple of quick kisses I'm out of there. I thought everybody was the same and  paid after. It's never caused a problem that I know of. Needless to say, there's no tip money in their envelope to begin with. I add whatever I think is appropriate after, when I give him the envelope.

Edited March 16, 2023 by glennnnn

[GTMike]

30 minutes ago, Archbishop said:

I’ve only ever had providers ask to be paid upfront, never at the end. I’ve never had an issue, so I have assumed it is the norm. What is the norm for providers asking for payment… at the start or finish?

If it's a 1st time meet and was tentatively scheduled to perhaps exceed an hour I will typically offer a portion after 15 to 20 mins (just to instill confidence of no funny business) and almost always the gent says thanks for being considerate and defers till the end.

I've never paid had a gent request full payment upfront though one or two have hinted they at least wanted to see evidence of it but that's rare.

[GTMike]

2 hours ago, Wolfer said:

Like if the provider was not, for any reason, living up to the agreements. For instance: doesn't look like his photos (older photos or outright catfish), promised to kiss but doesn't, shorts the time by half or more,... 

My most recent experience was a provider whom I'd booked for 2 hours. 15 minutes into the second hour he declared the session over. I did pay for the whole 2 hour session, but I'd be interested in hearing how you have handled these kinds of things? 

(I did point out we still had time but he just said "oh you're checking the time?" then just avoided the topic while he pushed me to the shower while he got dressed) 

I have cut short a couple 1st time meets.

1) one-time the gent was the actual person depicted (cleverly) in the profile but was egregiously far off in terms of height and weight. So upfront we agreed on a significantly reduced rate (for the time to show up) and it was clear that at that point he could immediately leave. He wasn't "a bad guy" beyond that initial deception and he wanted to do perform (even at a reduced rate) but I said no. But we did hang out watching sports for a bit chatting.

2) Another time I had a gent who after brief appropriate small talk couldn't help himself talking about people he met through parties and work and he was naming names. I live in LA and he was name dropping known gay celebs and it wasn't scandalous like outing or saying bad stuff about them and honestly they probably wouldn't have cared, but he was gossipy. I quickly feigned an illness and was fair for travel and limited time spent but got him out.

[Rudynate]

1 hour ago, Archbishop said:

I’ve only ever had providers ask to be paid upfront, never at the end. I’ve never had an issue, so I have assumed it is the norm. What is the norm for providers asking for payment… at the start or finish?

I have never once had a provider ask me for payment - I must have an honest face.  I leave the payment  on a table where he can easily see it.  They don't act like they're even interested in getting paid - It's all pretty seamless - just like in a movie.  

Once, one picked up the cash and counted it in front of me and I was a little surprised. 

Edited March 16, 2023 by Rudynate

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

1 hour ago, Archbishop said:

I’ve only ever had providers ask to be paid upfront, never at the end. I’ve never had an issue, so I have assumed it is the norm. What is the norm for providers asking for payment… at the start or finish?

 

21 minutes ago, Rudynate said:

I have never once had a provider ask me for payment - I must have an honest face.  I leave the payment  on a table where he can easily see it.  They don't act like they're even interested in getting paid - It's all pretty seamless - just like in a movie.  

Once, one picked up the cash and counted it in front of me and I was a little surprised. 

I have walked out of an appointment without paying exactly once: when the provider insisted on payment up front.  I don't pay up front.

All other times I have the money waiting on the side table if I am hosting, and for repeat hires or incalls I don't even do that I just pay from my wallet at the end.

[+ DrownedBoy]

There's several clients I would have refused to pay (they refused to do anything and left way early), but they were also the types to pick up the money first.

Nowadays, I keep the money in sight, but not in reach, of providers when they arrive.

[jawjateck]

I've ended sessions early numerous times. Depending on circumstances, I have occasionally paid the full fee because I accepted the risks of procuring unknown talent or the reason for the shortened meeting was on me, but more often, I have prorated the fee for time spent. When I've done that, no provider has ever objected to my payment, because in all of those cases, the provider performed poorly and knew it and knew that I was unsatisfied. I have never withheld the entire payment in any circumstance.

[+ JEC]

I've had 2 situations:

1: Guy agrees to meet for 2 hours and says he is a sub bottom.   He shows up and says "I'm not clean down there".  He was also very effeminate and reeked of bad perfume (after advertising as a Frat Bro type).   I asked him to leave and paid him his full rate  - I was in a hotel that included other ppl from work and did not want a scene.

2:  Another guy agrees to meet / bottom.  We meet and he says he's not able to bottom, offers a BJ at half the cost.  I paid him half and sent him on his way. 

When these situations happen, I assume some resp for not doing a better job vetting.   I also don't want a scene or LEO involved.

I hate being taken advantage of, but also assume there is some amount of assumed risk in all of this.

 

Edited March 17, 2023 by JEC

[Rudynate]

1 hour ago, JEC said:

 

I have being taken advantage of, but also assume there is some amount of assumed risk in all of this.

 

This

[Jostar]

Don't look like their pics. I walk out the door. I done that numerous times 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[DWnyc]

8 hours ago, JEC said:

I also don't want a scene or LEO involved.

I have being taken advantage of, but also assume there is some amount of assumed risk in all of this.

 

Bad guy providers (and there are a ton of them out there) understand this fully and take advantage of it all the time. 

And there’s their standard M.O. “you’re donating for my time, not specific services”.

I’m definitely net negative on all my hires, but the positives have been great so it compensates. Plus I kind of look at this all as an extension of reality (rather than the perfect fantasy it perhaps should be if donating), so I’m likely more tolerant of calculated / disingenuous nonsense.

[jeezifonly]

Never. I know some clients meet a situation where they’ve been “ripped off”, and I absolutely have that relationship with Amazon.
 

Not with providers - it’s on me to do my research, book the first meet as a short incall and to remember they’re humans. Sometimes two humans new to each other just don’t click. 

[+ Pensant]

I turned one away years ago who looked nothing like his ad. He started getting demanding and I glared at him and said “you don’t want to go there” and he left without any drama. Other than that I’ve had my share of dopes and duds but never anyone who would warrant non-payment. Like others, I leave the comp on the counter where they can see it. The hot encounters have far exceeded the duds, thankfully.

[Jamie21]

On a variation of this, I once refused to charge a client. Looking back on it I can see the funny side now but at the time I was really annoyed. 

He was a French guy visiting London. Had booked me for an hour sensual massage. Everything went wrong. He was a little late because he couldn’t find my place (I guess that’s down to him) but it started the session off a bit stressed. Then after 10 minutes the masseur using the other room phoned my room to ask me if I could see his card reader anywhere. This interrupted my client’s massage, just as I’d got him to relax. I couldn’t see the card reader so in the end I had to let the other masseur in to find it (which he couldn’t do). 

I apologised to my client and carried on, trying to re-establish the right atmosphere. Then, 10 minutes later an alarm clock which had sat on the shelf quietly for years suddenly decided to go off….and I couldn’t turn it off. Eventually I managed to silence it. 

By now the massage was 40 minutes in and should have been at a more erotic stage but there was no chance of that. So I just told the client that in view of all the calamities I’d not charge him anything. I finished him off and he got an hour but it wasn’t very relaxing or erotic. 
 

 

[+ ButchAtl]

Only once that I remember.  After undressing and ready to go, the provider asked for payment first.  This was never mentioned in his ad, or in our communications to arrange the session.  I told him I had twice previously had bad experiences when I had paid first, and so didn't do that.   He insisted. 

So, I said no thanks, got dressed and left.  

[muscmtl]

17 hours ago, JEC said:

I've had 2 situations:

1: Guy agrees to meet for 2 hours and says he is a sub bottom.   He shows up and says "I'm not clean down there".  He was also very effeminate and reeked of bad perfume (after advertising as a Frat Bro type).   I asked him to leave and paid him his full rate  - I was in a hotel that included other ppl from work and did not want a scene.

2:  Another guy agrees to meet / bottom.  We meet and he says he's not able to bottom, offers a BJ at half the cost.  I paid him half and sent him on his way. 

When these situations happen, I assume some resp for not doing a better job vetting.   I also don't want a scene or LEO involved.

I have being taken advantage of, but also assume there is some amount of assumed risk in all of this.

 

Why I don't even bother hiring anymore. Always a reason not to bottom/ rim/ suck/ kiss. Way too many "I'm so hot just showing up is enuf" out there. And way too many gross rich guys fueling these boys' egos by paying them $$$$ to do nothing.

As a client I'm done.

And on a fun note: happy St Patty day

 

 

[+ azdr0710]

all of this leads to another of my reminders to politely and discreetly settle all the financials upfront in pre-meet planning......

tell the provider that you'll be paying at the end of the meet and confirm his ok with this......if he requests a view of the cash or an envelope out, probably ok, but keep an eye on that envelope!......tell him you do not want to talk money during the meeting.......after all this, if he still requests money-up-front, remind him of the agreement and prepare to leave.......

communication is key......

[Whippoorwill]

Research. Research. Research. Read their ads very carefully, including between the lines. Psych out their pictures and why they chose them. Set up your criteria that you think makes a good provider for you...age, years of experience, looks, body, percentage masseur vs. percentage escort, reviews, etc. What do you want, what are they selling? Use Companyofmen to do further research. When you think you are serious about a provider, PM on Companyofmen others who have used them, asking very specific questions on things that are important to you. While everyone is different and wants different things, and everyone has good days and bad days, this gives the best chance of success. I learned this after one early experience that put me off from using providers for three years. In retrospect all the signs were there...but I was thinking with my dick not my brain. And even in that case, as I was counting out my money I added a modest tip, just as he was about to ask for one. He was satisfied with a modest tip to match his modest services. It's personal, but I would rather I be the one to take the high road and be (modestly) generous. In any kind of business situation, I chose the path that causes me the least angst...sometimes that is just paying and licking my wounds, in other cases it's putting up an argument. Usually that's to pay what is asked and count myself lucky it's only money. But everybody's different. Oh yes, and I have two reliable providers I go back to time and time again. While variety may be the spice of life, I choose those I know will be fabulous and skip any possible disappointment or drama.  

[coriolis888]

On 3/16/2023 at 12:03 PM, Wolfer said:

 

My most recent experience was a provider whom I'd booked for 2 hours. 15 minutes into the second hour he declared the session over. I did pay for the whole 2 hour session, but I'd be interested in hearing how you have handled these kinds of things? 

 

This is all the more reason that you should book only one hour for new providers that you do not know or who have no verifiable references. 

 

[Wolfer]

On 3/18/2023 at 1:19 AM, coriolis888 said:

This is all the more reason that you should book only one hour for new providers that you do not know or who have no verifiable references. 

 

Well sometimes you take a chance. The rest of his ad and interactions were full of green flags. The 2 hour was for massage and sex combined. The massage was one of the best I've ever gotten and he didn't short me on it (it was the first hour). But once I came during sex, session was over.