Declining After Face Pic

[Sunlit_wilderness]

Typically, the face pic is the last thing I ask for if the provider doesn’t include one in their profile. I figure that most providers seem to only provide them after determining the client is serious, so I usually hash out the other details first. I then find myself in scenarios where they send me the pic and it’s not a great fit.

Just wanted to ask how others handle this. Are you honest in your response? I figure this is where behaviors might differ than, say on Grindr, where you just block or ignore someone after they send it, since it seems like people really emphasize professionalism and courtesy in their interactions.

Edited Wednesday at 10:41 PM by Sunlit_wilderness

[Cretus]

I would request a face picture first no matter what. It is a waste of your time and theirs if a conversation gets dragged on only to be fruitless after seeing incompatibility due to the face picture.

[Mark_fl]

I appreciate a provider not wanting their face out there, for several reasons. 

That said, I ask for it before getting involved, because I don't want to waste either of our times. If they don't want to post it on their ad or send it quickly, it would be a red flag, but it is their fault, not yours, if the picture sent is not your cup of tea and you opt-out. 

You are the paying customer. If what they're selling turns out to not be something you want to buy, so be it. That they didn't show you what they were offering earlier, oh, well.

Edited Wednesday at 11:33 PM by Mark_fl

[BuffaloKyle]

I remember a provider had on his ad once he only sends a face pic after a confirmed appt. I skipped right over that ad. There's no way I can commit before a face pic.

[jeezifonly]

There are perhaps some scenarios in hiring (activity-focused, for example) where the facial handsomeness is irrelevant. 

"But, ooooooohhhh, can that boy fffoxtrot"

[Nightowl]

If I like what’s below the neck, the face is less important.

[DMonDude]

I've always asked for face pics, not in the first message but definitely very early on in the conversation.

I handle it the same way on Grindr/apps, and i myself don't put face pics on my Grindr/Sniffies profiles, but i send them in the first message or soon as the other person asks because ultimately all I'm trying to avoid is just any person just browsing being able to see my face pic while scrolling the grid/map. Anyone who actually inquires first or i approach first I'm ok to share cause I'm ultimately just trying to lower the overall amount of exposure, not be totally anonymous.

In my experience the amount of people just browsing that will see your thumbnail versus who actually inquire are like an 80/20 split respectively. So i feel like I'm accomplishing my goal there. I feel a lot of providers who don't have public facing face pics are operating on similar logic, for the most part.

If i do see the face pic and am not interested, i just say so though. Should be an understood part of the process whether hiring or just on Grindr/Sniffies of being a no public face pic person on either end. And i personally think setting everything up first and then seeing the face pic after, makes it feel like that much more of a waste of time if you do finally see the pics and it's not a match. Compared to if you get that part out of the way earlier.

[+ KensingtonHomo]

I do ask for a face pic early on because if I don’t like a guy’s face, it’s not gonna work. 

[soloyo215]

I skip profiles without face pictures altogether, so I don't have a reason to ask for a face picture.

If he has something to hide, he also has something to tell.

[BonVivant]

The face is very important for me. So a face pic is a must. But as long as they send it, it doesn’t have to be in the ad. 

[BuffaloKyle]

55 minutes ago, soloyo215 said:

I skip profiles without face pictures altogether, so I don't have a reason to ask for a face picture.

If he has something to hide, he also has something to tell.

Someone might not have a face pic posted for a valid reason. They may simply have a regular job and would like to keep this side hustle a bit discreet. Or they may want to travel internationally and not be caught up in facial recognition. 

As long as they'll send a face pic after a simply inquiry then I'm more than ok with that.

Edited Thursday at 03:12 AM by BuffaloKyle

[ShortCutie7]

Here’s the thing: the face is VERY important to me, but I can tell 99% of the time if I’ll find a man’s face handsome without a full/clear pic. Usually seeing enough of a chin, a side profile, a blurred pic, a masked pic, etc is enough to get a good gauge.

[SecretProvider]

18 hours ago, Cretus said:

I would request a face picture first no matter what. It is a waste of your time and theirs if a conversation gets dragged on only to be fruitless after seeing incompatibility due to the face picture.

I think most providers wouldn't care about this, with the proviso that your initial message has a bit of substance - eg. Hi my name is John, I like your profile and am looking at a bottom on friday at 6pm in midtown. Do you mind sharing your rates and a face pic?" , as opposed to "face pic?'

15 hours ago, soloyo215 said:

If he has something to hide, he also has something to tell.

I think the argument could be made that the inverse is more likely to be true- those with everything out there will put your information out there too with little thought. 

Edited Thursday at 05:36 PM by SecretProvider

[DunwoodyGuy]

I never chat with someone who's faceless.

[soloyo215]

9 hours ago, SecretProvider said:

I think the argument could be made that the inverse is more likely to be true- those with everything out there will put your information out there too with little thought. 

True.

[soloyo215]

9 hours ago, BuffaloKyle said:

Someone might not have a face pic posted for a valid reason. They may simply have a regular job and would like to keep this side hustle a bit discreet. Or they may want to travel internationally and not be caught up in facial recognition. 

As long as they'll send a face pic after a simply inquiry then I'm more than ok with that.

I didn't say anything about the reasons, they can be perfectly legitimate. The provider can be super good looking, great and professional. That's all valid, and I respect that.

This is just my personal preference, that's how I decide to conduct business, might make exceptions in the future, but it is my prerogative how I choose.

[BeHappy]

10 hours ago, BuffaloKyle said:

Someone might not have a face pic posted for a valid reason. They may simply have a regular job and would like to keep this side hustle a bit discreet. Or they may want to travel internationally and not be caught up in facial recognition. 

As long as they'll send a face pic after a simply inquiry then I'm more than ok with that.

Yes I agree with this!  Everyone has a reason for how they approach this wonderful hobby!

[d.anders]

10 hours ago, DunwoodyGuy said:

I never chat with someone who's faceless.

I agree. Who needs to invite all those other issues into the mix? Talk about turn-off. This is one reason to support the gay professionals. Most are not in hiding. Chances are you'll get a decent massage, and if the chemistry is right, stuff can happen without all the questionable song and dance. No matter how many promises, emails, phone calls, or IMs, you can't force a provider to be sexually attracted to you. There are never any guarantees. These guys who want a quality massage and full-on sex for the $120 seem insatiably insane to me.

[+ JamesB]

I usually skip profiles without a face picture unless something about the profile really catches my attention. If I do decide to reach out, I ask for a face picture in my first message. If he has an issue with providing one, then that's a dealbreaker for me and I move on.

[+ SirBillybob]

Unless one is Benjamin Button or has great filters, everybody does. 

Edited Thursday at 05:23 PM by SirBillybob

[+ Jamie21]

From my perspective as someone who is hired I do get some clients asking for a face pic and I’m happy to send one. Occasionally they say ‘thanks but no thanks’ which at first caused me some consternation but now I just don’t care. I’m glad they had the decency to reply. If my face isn’t to their liking it doesn’t cause me upset because I’m confident in my services through being successful. You can’t be everything to everyone. The worst thing is sending a pic into the void. I’d recommend clients to always reply to your ‘provider’ (or whatever terms we use, I prefer sex worker tbh) with a ‘thanks but not for me, best wishes’ or something like that. There’s a person the other end. Always remember that. 

[ACluelessGent]

39 minutes ago, Jamie21 said:

I’d recommend clients to always reply to your ‘provider’ (or whatever terms we use, I prefer sex worker tbh) with a ‘thanks but not for me, best wishes’ or something like that. There’s a person the other end. Always remember that. 

Agree on both points. "Provider" is such a silly term.

[DMonDude]

25 minutes ago, ACluelessGent said:

Agree on both points. "Provider" is such a silly term.

Again, as mentioned on other threads, no one is forcing you to use it.

Edited Thursday at 09:36 PM by DMonDude

[ACluelessGent]

2 minutes ago, DMonDude said:

Again, as mentioned on other threads, no one is forcing you to use it.

And no one is forcing me to think and say it is a silly term.

[jeezifonly]

3 hours ago, ACluelessGent said:

And no one is forcing me to think and say it is a silly term.

Are we really still using "silly"?