Has anyone hired a provider that you had know previously?

[Boaxxx]

A couple years back a former co-worker was training to become a massage therapist and an esthetician. Before getting his credentials he moved to a different division so we no longer worked together. I later heard that he completed his training, left the company and was in the process of establishing his own business. Recently I noticed his ad on RM offering massage services, both therapeutic and sensual, along with other services like waxing, facials, etc. Naturally I looked at his photos which are geared more towards the sensual rather than the other services. I'm tempted to schedule an appointment but think it may make for an awkward situation. Thoughts?

[dutchal]

Need to know more.  Do you think he's attractive?  What was your relationship with him before?  How do you think he'd react when it's you at the door?

[+ poolboy48220]

A friend from the bars put up a massage ad with his partner. I hired them, it wasn't awkward at all. 

[+ JamesB]

I don’t see an issue as long as you’re upfront during the initial texting and let him know you know each other. If he’s comfortable with it, then you’re good to go. Just don’t show up without mentioning it, that kind of surprise could easily make things go sideways.

[DMonDude]

Agree with JamesB. If it was me i'd give him a heads up and give him the chance to opt out personally. I'd just say "hey i was interested in booking, but we actually know each other from working together at _____, are you cool with having me as a client?" I don't think you need to name yourself unless he specifically asks your name as a follow up, but just let him know where you know him from and designate what the dynamic was. There'd likely be a big difference between this scenario for him if you are just a former co-worker versus say a former manager or former boss. From the sounds of it you were just coworkers, but he wouldn't know that without you telling him.

[Boaxxx]

5 hours ago, dutchal said:

Need to know more.  Do you think he's attractive?  What was your relationship with him before?  How do you think he'd react when it's you at the door?

I do think he is attractive which is on of the reasons that I'd be interested in scheduling a session. We were nothing more than co-workers, but we got along very well and we each knew that the other was gay. From time to time we would talk about his classes and his ultimate goal of starting his own business.  All that said I never expected to see his ad on RM along with offering sensual massage sessions.  If I were to make an appointment I would be contacting him via RM and he would be able to see my profile. I would have no intention on making this a "surprise at the door" kind of situation. I would let him know it was me upfront.

[Boaxxx]

2 hours ago, DMonDude said:

Agree with JamesB. If it was me i'd give him a heads up and give him the chance to opt out personally. I'd just say "hey i was interested in booking, but we actually know each other from working together at _____, are you cool with having me as a client?" I don't think you need to name yourself unless he specifically asks your name as a follow up, but just let him know where you know him from and designate what the dynamic was. There'd likely be a big difference between this scenario for him if you are just a former co-worker versus say a former manager or former boss. From the sounds of it you were just coworkers, but he wouldn't know that without you telling him.

We were simply peers, no boss/manager scenario which I agree could change the scenario.  Also, I would definitely let him know upfront who I am. I do like your approach to asking if he is cool with having me as a client. 

[ShortCutie7]

No, but I’ve considered it! I came across an acquaintance I’ve actually sexted with previously (albeit along time ago) on RM but decided against it because I don’t want him to know that I hire.

[RugbyBen]

A while back I saw that the ex of a friend of mine was now doing massage professionally. 

I contacted him and let him know who I was and he was cool with me hiring him. 

He was mainly just doing therapeutic at the time but there was always a bit of attraction between us so inevitably things happened. I saw him on and off for a few years. He started to offer more sensual and erotic stuff in general. 

I never told my mate though. 

[Becket]

Sort of off the subject, but......

Recently I made an appointment with a local provider for sensual massage. I canceled a few hours before the appointed hour. Rather than receiving a terse reply or insult; which I have received a few times before, the provider texted back with a kind and thoughtful reply. He didn't confess to any aggravation or frustration, but generously said something like, "I'm so sorry you have to cancel and will miss meeting you. Please do not hesitate to re book should it work better for you in the future." 

That sort of professional reply seems rare and was greatly appreciated. I cannot tell you how impressed I was with the thoughtfulness of that particular gentleman. He does not know me and I am not a regular client. But his words guaranteed that I will indeed try to book him again and provide a nice tip as a thank you, and an apology for bailing out on him.

Really, the guy's response just blew me away. 

[Boaxxx]

On 4/10/2026 at 6:27 AM, Boaxxx said:

A couple years back a former co-worker was training to become a massage therapist and an esthetician. Before getting his credentials he moved to a different division so we no longer worked together. I later heard that he completed his training, left the company and was in the process of establishing his own business. Recently I noticed his ad on RM offering massage services, both therapeutic and sensual, along with other services like waxing, facials, etc. Naturally I looked at his photos which are geared more towards the sensual rather than the other services. I'm tempted to schedule an appointment but think it may make for an awkward situation. Thoughts?

Not sure if this changes things but I noticed I failed to specifically mention that I would be hiring for a sensual/erotic massage.

[Nightowl]

I wouldn’t schedule him but that’s only because I keep my hiring life and normal life separate.

[jeezifonly]

Are you certain that he has no close friends among employees that you still work with? At worst, he may tell someone you know, who can now picture you as the client who likes to "_____" 

I learned early in my career about not interlacing work with my sex life, and worked with plenty of people who did - showbiz, etc - and it's not when it's going on, it's once it's over where shit goes down.

Your buddy may be a lousy masseur with too little experience. Ir he may be great. If you live in a big market, save him for later - his skills can improve, and you can see how seriously he takes his work if the ad stays up and reviews tend toward the positive, before hiring. But if you do reach out, be upfront. He may have his own policy about not mixing past and present worklife.

[nate_sf]

Another approach could be to just schedule a therapeutic session at first, not a sensual one. You could tell him who you are and congratulate him on launching his new venture, and say you'd like to support his endeavor if he's comfortable with that.

On the face of it that would seem tame enough. Then in subsequent sessions if it feels right, things could progress to sensual, but if it doesn't feel right little will be lost since it was just a legit therapeutic massage. 

[+ nycman]

Don’t shit where you eat.

[aiseeya]

Depends on how much you value your privacy in the context of keeping your personal and this hobby apart. Not saying your mate has a loose lips but hiring him sure increase the chance of your 2 aspects of life colliding. 

[Boaxxx]

8 hours ago, jeezifonly said:

Are you certain that he has no close friends among employees that you still work with? At worst, he may tell someone you know, who can now picture you as the client who likes to "_____" 

I learned early in my career about not interlacing work with my sex life, and worked with plenty of people who did - showbiz, etc - and it's not when it's going on, it's once it's over where shit goes down.

Your buddy may be a lousy masseur with too little experience. Ir he may be great. If you live in a big market, save him for later - his skills can improve, and you can see how seriously he takes his work if the ad stays up and reviews tend toward the positive, before hiring. But if you do reach out, be upfront. He may have his own policy about not mixing past and present worklife.

This I'm not so worried about because if he is outing me then he is also outing himself with regards to the sensual massage aspect.

[Boaxxx]

5 hours ago, nate_sf said:

Another approach could be to just schedule a therapeutic session at first, not a sensual one. You could tell him who you are and congratulate him on launching his new venture, and say you'd like to support his endeavor if he's comfortable with that.

On the face of it that would seem tame enough. Then in subsequent sessions if it feels right, things could progress to sensual, but if it doesn't feel right little will be lost since it was just a legit therapeutic massage. 

Kind of a slow and steady wins the race approach 😈

[soloyo215]

On 4/10/2026 at 9:27 AM, Boaxxx said:

A couple years back a former co-worker was training to become a massage therapist and an esthetician. Before getting his credentials he moved to a different division so we no longer worked together. I later heard that he completed his training, left the company and was in the process of establishing his own business. Recently I noticed his ad on RM offering massage services, both therapeutic and sensual, along with other services like waxing, facials, etc. Naturally I looked at his photos which are geared more towards the sensual rather than the other services. I'm tempted to schedule an appointment but think it may make for an awkward situation. Thoughts?

I've seen people from my past, from work and other places, show up at gay venues and events, never as masseurs or escorts. Most of them have avoided me. Probably because of my "charm". I am an acquired taste, so especially at work, not every person sees me as friendly or trustworthy (and I like it that way). That's a long way for me to say that it's unlikely that your scenario will be something I relate to, so I can only guess.

My questions are, when you worked together, did you feel attracted to him? Did you sense a possible chemistry between the two of you? Sometimes we work with attractive people, but that doesn't mean that there's a good connection or chemistry. How far do you want to go in the massage? I know you want sensual, but that means too many different things to different people. What do you expect to happen afterwards? Do you know if he left that workplace in good terms? That last question addresses possible feelings of connecting with people from a place where he might have not felt happy. Those are the things I'd consider, though I know that some others might not care for any of it.

I'd be curious to know what eventually happened.

[BuckCanucked]

37 minutes ago, soloyo215 said:

Probably because of my "charm". I am an acquired taste, so especially at work, not every person sees me as friendly or trustworthy (and I like it that way).

I'd never have imagined this given your signature quote. 😉