POSING AS BOYFRIEND

[ICTJOCK]

Greetings all!     Haven't been on a lot over the last couple of months  with work and demands on time,  but certainly miss and appreciate the site when I'm not here.

So I had a perspective client as me if I would pose as his boyfriend in a social setting.    I ask him to explain and it was more than just a "date for the evening"  (which would be fine),  rather  to go with him and give the impression that we were a couple  and I was his boyfriend in a serious relationship.   I declined.    I am not going to deceive people with my work as an escort.   

Thoughts?

[+ DrownedBoy]

That's a decision that should be respected by a client.

However, you may not have had to "pretend" to be his boyfriend. If all he wanted was to "give the impression" that you were dating, being together should be enough.

If he insisted on PDA or actually telling people you were dating, that might break some boundaries, though.

[maninsoma]

I don't see how what the client suggested would even work unless the two of you already knew each other somewhat from repeated appointments.  How can one pretend to be someone's boyfriend without knowing anything about him?

I fully support your decision solely based on not wanting to attempt to deceive others.

[Trick]

This reminds me of a number of rom-com plots.

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

Early on, I was hired to go to events (weddings, group vacations, company retreats, etc) with clients as their plus-one, usually 'boyfriend'

It's just a part of the business.  Some of them turned into long term clients, some not.

We're sometimes asked to 'play a role,' and I'm fine with that.

 

[Becket]

1 minute ago, BenjaminNicholas said:

Early on, I was hired to go to events (weddings, group vacations, company retreats, etc) with clients as their plus-one, usually 'boyfriend'

It's just a part of the business.  Some of them turned into long term clients, some not.

We're sometimes asked to 'play a role,' and I'm fine with that.

 

An escort told me a story about going to a party as a boyfriend. The client had told all his friends about his new lover and was eager to show him off. When they arrived at the party the escort laughed to himself because he was in a room filled with past clients, some of which he had seen that same year. The client du jour smiled as he introduced his boyfriend around the room. As the evening wore on all the past clients would quietly tell the escort "please don't let others know we've seen each other." It turned out to be a great farce, but everyone was nice about it and didn't try to ruin the evening of the happy present client, so proud of his "new boyfriend." 

Interesting and funny story.

[Trick]

Isn’t this the legit definition of “escort,” to accompany someone, usually to events?

Edited June 8, 2024 by Trick

[Shawn Monroe]

I’ve done this before. It’s a part of the business. Sometimes it can be fun and easy work. I wouldn’t turn it down but definitely understand if it isn’t your specialty. 

[viewing ownly]

You absolutely made the right call in turning this gig down. How sad that someone feels the need to lie about their personal life to the degree of asking a complete stranger to pretend to be someone that they aren't. 

If this guy was that needy, chances are high that he'll be delusional to want you to actually buy into his fantasy and just make matters worse. Well done in graciously declining. Sure there are those less than one in a million circumstances where true love is found with a provider and a client, but this method on that guy's part is no way to go. 

[Thelatin]

5 hours ago, ICTJOCK said:

I declined.    I am not going to deceive people with my work as an escort.   

Your entire profession is to deceive.  

[+ FrankR]

33 minutes ago, Thelatin said:

Your entire profession is to deceive.  

Are you trying to be insulting? You are making an assumption about @ICTJOCK’s profession - clearly you know nothing about him. How about you think it through next time. 🤔

[+ sync]

You did the right thing.  Deception is a minefield.

[rvwnsd]

7 hours ago, ICTJOCK said:

...to go with him and give the impression that we were a couple  and I was his boyfriend in a serious relationship.   I declined...

I wonder what he intended to say the next time he went out with his friends, and they asked where you were or how you were doing? For that matter, how was he going to explain to these people who had never seen nor heard of you that you were his serious, committed boyfriend?

You did the right thing.

[pubic_assistance]

5 hours ago, ICTJOCK said:

am not going to deceive people with my work as an escort.   

Thoughts?

Although I admire your decision to NOT be in a situation where you need to lie to people I would also offer a bit of empathy toward your client who may be in a situation where showing off a hot boyfriend to his compatriots is important.

He's clearly sad and needy. I think the situation is unfortunate and maybe you could have bent the rules a bit for him to have his fantasy. Just a thought. Does lying to heal a wound count as a betrayal of your ethical compass ?

[ICTJOCK]

39 minutes ago, pubic_assistance said:

Although I admire your decision to NOT be in a situation where you need to lie to people I would also offer a bit of empathy toward your client who may be in a situation where showing off a hot boyfriend to his compatriots is important.

He's clearly sad and needy. I think the situation is unfortunate and maybe you could have bent the rules a bit for him to have his fantasy. Just a thought. Does lying to heal a wound count as a betrayal of your ethical compass ?

I understand where you are coming from.   I think it bothered me that he was creating a fantasy to tell others.    I had been involved with him for the last 2 years,  suggested a profession I could pose for.     I am a professional person and I do have ethics.     If it was merely posing,   it would be fine.   To be a part of a fantasy is another.

[DWnyc]

I can understand not wishing to be drawn into drama, complications in public if you run into people you know etc.

But where does “deception” / fantasy etc that is part of the hobby end before it becomes problematic? Or said another way what is ethically permissible? If a client said (one on one in a paid session) they thought you were really hot, you were amazing etc etc - but you didn’t feel anything like that about him - would you keep totally quiet? That might end the session or hold back a future one …  but wouldn’t saying something complimentary then clash with some ethics if untrue for you? 
 

[pubic_assistance]

13 minutes ago, ICTJOCK said:

If it was merely posing,   it would be fine.   To be a part of a fantasy is another.

In the end, it has to comply with your own ethical/emotonal landscape.

I don't think he was asking too much as a general rule. Escorting is often about providing a fantasy for someone. Just that this particular situation is pushing a button for you, personally.  But it's your button, so he needs to respect your limits.

 

 

Edited June 9, 2024 by pubic_assistance
spelling

[ICTJOCK]

3 hours ago, Thelatin said:

Your entire profession is to deceive.  

Not hardly

[maninsoma]

After reading some of the replies, I went back to reread the original post.  I think my issue is that the prospective client wanted an escort to pretend to be a boyfriend in a committed relationship with him.  That's quite different than going to a gathering with a client and being introduced simply as a date, which could mean that the two only recently met.  For those escorts who replied that they would do this, are you saying you would actually go along with the fantasy to the extent of talking about a fake life together with your client's friends/associates?  I still think that sounds incredible awkward, to say the least.

[BSR]

49 minutes ago, maninsoma said:

After reading some of the replies, I went back to reread the original post.  I think my issue is that the prospective client wanted an escort to pretend to be a boyfriend in a committed relationship with him.  That's quite different than going to a gathering with a client and being introduced simply as a date, which could mean that the two only recently met.  For those escorts who replied that they would do this, are you saying you would actually go along with the fantasy to the extent of talking about a fake life together with your client's friends/associates?  I still think that sounds incredible awkward, to say the least.

I guess the "couple" could claim that they haven't been dating long, but even with that story, the chances of getting tripped up are uncomfortably high (at least for my pain threshold).  That is a tangled web I'd rather not weave.

Edited June 9, 2024 by BSR
Wording

[soloyo215]

17 hours ago, ICTJOCK said:

Greetings all!     Haven't been on a lot over the last couple of months  with work and demands on time,  but certainly miss and appreciate the site when I'm not here.

So I had a perspective client as me if I would pose as his boyfriend in a social setting.    I ask him to explain and it was more than just a "date for the evening"  (which would be fine),  rather  to go with him and give the impression that we were a couple  and I was his boyfriend in a serious relationship.   I declined.    I am not going to deceive people with my work as an escort.   

Thoughts?

Trust your inctinct. If it doesn't feel right, don't do it.

There are some escorts who offer the "boyfriend experience", which I've never personally have had, so I am not going to comment on what that feels. However, based on what I have heard from others, seems like to some escorts, that situation is exactly what the boyfriend experience is supposed to be. To others is more intimate, meaning that the escort treats the client as his boyfriend in an intimate, not social, setting.

My only concern is that I find hard to believe that the request is going to be a one-time thing. High chances are that lies have to be maintained, especially those presented in social settings where people are constrantly judging and inquiring. That might mean that, though on your end that might become a good cash cow, it will also mean getting sucked into somebody's deceitful social practices, which might involve escalation of what he might expect of you as his "date/boyfriend". On the client end, I have witnessed clients getting sucked into that boyfriend fantasy to the point that they have themselves and a lot of money, not ending well for either party.

You (or your financial needs) decide your level of comfort with that, and you decide if that works for you short and long term. Based on how you seem to be doing, seems like you can afford the luxury of choosing your clients.

Be well, and welcome back.

Edited June 9, 2024 by soloyo215

[BonVivant]

17 hours ago, Becket said:

An escort told me a story about going to a party as a boyfriend. The client had told all his friends about his new lover and was eager to show him off. When they arrived at the party the escort laughed to himself because he was in a room filled with past clients, some of which he had seen that same year. The client du jour smiled as he introduced his boyfriend around the room. As the evening wore on all the past clients would quietly tell the escort "please don't let others know we've seen each other." It turned out to be a great farce, but everyone was nice about it and didn't try to ruin the evening of the happy present client, so proud of his "new boyfriend." 

Interesting and funny story.

Now this would make a great film!

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

18 hours ago, Trick said:

Isn’t this the legit definition of “escort,” to accompany someone, usually to events?

💯 Agree

[jeezifonly]

It’s a LOT more work for the provider, I imagine.
 

If I asked one to do that I’d expect to hear:

“Great! Love role-playing!
All of my roles are nude with a cockring in 20min, will that be a problem…?”

🤣

 

 

[Trick]

I’ve seen Wedding Date with Debra Messing and Dermot Mulroney.  Is there a gay version of that movie?