My funniest health care moment.

[viewing ownly]

I went to "The Center" in Las Vegas, which is a place that offers free AIDS testing, and testing for other sexually transmitted diseases for a fee. I was nervous, never having been tested for these things intentionally. The entire staff was great, from the door greeter / registration person all the way to the person providing me the results, and everyone in-between. I wish that their hours were longer (but don't many of us wish things on us were longer, too). 

When I was taken back to a private room to discuss with the doctor my recent sexual history, I was taken aback looking at the wall, as there was a poster of this dashing, handsome man with a smile on his face, promoting the facility I was in. When I was asked about sexual partners, I pointed at the wall, and said, "Well, I've had sex with that guy right there." 

[samhexum]

This doesn't really qualify, probably, but what the hell...  One day when I was 16 or 17ish I was on the subway heading into Manhattan to go to a gay porn theater and I looked up at the ads along the top of the subway car.  There was one for Preparation H with a picture of one of my Junior High math teachers.  With her real name.  

And after posting this I was curious, so I googled her and found her wedding announcement from the NY Times in 1972!  The internet is a beautiful thing!

 

Rosalyn Bailey Wed To Franklyn Snitow

•  

May 28, 1972

 

CEDARHURST, L. I., May 27 — Miss Rosalyn Bailey, daughter of Mrs. Irving Bailey of Forest Hills, Queens, and the late Mr. Bailey***, was married here this evening to Franklyn H. Snitow, son of Mr. and Mrs. Raymond Snitow of Bayside, Queens. Rabbi William A. Orentlicher performed the ceremony at the Sephardic Temple.

The bride, a graduate of Queens College, has a master's degree in education from Boston University. She teaches in the New York City elementary school system. Her mother is with the Israel National Discount Bank and her father was in the wholesale meat business.

The bridegroom, an Assistant District Attorney for New York County, is assigned to the Rackets Bureau. He has degrees from the American University in Washington and the New York Law School. His father is an insurance broker.

***There was a very good episode of DESIGNING WOMEN called Mr. Bailey, in which a client of theirs dies in the middle of a job and leaves her fortune to her cat, Mr. Bailey.  I don't think he was Mrs. Snitow's father.

 

 

Edited December 15, 2023 by samhexum
because he's bored as hell

[viewing ownly]

Did you mean Preparation H, or did Twitter by that, too?

[samhexum]

8 minutes ago, viewing ownly said:

Did you mean Preparation H, or did Twitter by that, too?

OOPS!

[SirBillybob]

I thought maybe Prep X is the Baileys Irish Cream?

[samhexum]

I thought of another one...

A number of years ago I went for a dental cleaning right before one of the holidays.  Much of the staff must have been off already because when the hygienist came in she said "Hi, I'm Dr. @@@'s mother."  He had called her out of retirement to fill in.

While she was looking over my chart she said "You've had a lot of work done."

 I replied "Yes, I'm putting your grandchildren through college."

 

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

About 10 years ago, my dentist was examining my mouth and noticed a large number of hairline cracks in my teeth.

She asked, "Do you eat a lot of nuts?".

I replied without hesitation, "You can tell that I'm gay just from my mouth?"

It took a few awkward seconds to realize she was not talking about teabagging.

[jeezifonly]

A friend was having some irritation around his butthole, it persisted, and he went to a proctologist recommended by a friend.

During pre-exam consult, doc asked,  “Have you had any changes in diet?  
“…No”

“Different routine with exercise, especially lifting?”  
“ …No”

”How about recent homosexual activity?” 
“…A couple cocktail parties, Loge seats for Das Rheingold, and a fashion show…”

The doctor chuckled periodically throughout the rest of the exam. (It was an easily fixed simple tiny fissure)  &nbsp
My friend said it was from obviously from Rheingold. 

 

[+ sniper]

A friend was getting some warts removed from his ass and when the Dr. finished he said "Now it's so clean you could eat off it!" "That's what got me in trouble in the first place, Doc!"

[samhexum]

On 4/15/2025 at 1:57 AM, samhexum said:

"Hi, I'm Dr. @@@'s mother."  He had called her out of retirement to fill in.

While she was looking over my chart she said "You've had a lot of work done."

 I replied "Yes, I'm putting your grandchildren through college."

Just opened a letter I got from United Health Care.  He's no longer part of their network.  So much for my 5/1 cleaning.

[TonyDown]

A gay friend visited the doctor for his check up including gloved finger in the back door.  This was years ago.  Next visit the doctor quipped he was expecting to receive flowers.  🌺

[+ purplekow]

I had an issue with blood in the urine when I was in my late twenties.  I went to a urologist and qas a bit concerned about the expected rectal exam.  The doctor left the room after the initial history and said he would be back for the exam.  Gritting my tetth, I dropped my pants and leaned on the exam table waiting for his return.  When the door open, the doctor came in and said. "Well that is very nice, but I only wanted to exam your abdomen."  As a resident physician at the time, each time I ran across this physician in the hospital he gave a little chuckle.  It was embarrassment that kept on embarrassing.  

[Guest]

I used to get strep throat/a dry cough a lot in high school and used to gag/almost vomit at the throat culture that the doctors office would do. Cut to me in the winter of my sophomore year of college getting a throat culture and not even wincing and the nurse congratulated me and went "See? you're an expert by now"

 

Little did she know I had been dancing at the cock for almost half a year by that point.

[Whippoorwill]

I was having my annual exam with my gay GP, and in he walzed with a stunning blond 20-something year old med student from Germany, who was on an exchange residency. He asked if I minded the visitor, chortling under his breath. Now it happens I have had a pea-sized benign lump on one testicle for years. My doc proceeded to examine, inspect, and manipulate both testicles in great detail. Then he turned my nuts over to this Teutonic beauty, who went through the same procedure several times (practice makes perfect). At which point my doc looked at me, and gave me a big knowing wink. It was all I could do not to break up laughing. 

[Rudynate]

I haven't had any funny healthcare moments, although there are a couple of providers I really enjoy seeing, and I always feel like they enjoy seeing me as well.

[prof]

8 hours ago, Whippoorwill said:

I was having my annual exam with my gay GP, and in he walzed with a stunning blond 20-something year old med student from Germany, who was on an exchange residency. He asked if I minded the visitor, chortling under his breath. Now it happens I have had a pea-sized benign lump on one testicle for years. My doc proceeded to examine, inspect, and manipulate both testicles in great detail. Then he turned my nuts over to this Teutonic beauty, who went through the same procedure several times (practice makes perfect). At which point my doc looked at me, and gave me a big knowing wink. It was all I could do not to break up laughing. 

Gee, I was going to reminisce about pretending to be a 20-something year old med student from Germany...  😁

[+ PhileasFogg]

In the 90’s I had chronic suffering from epididymitis - the result of my kids running into my arms and kicking me in the balls as their feet dangled while swinging in my arms.  Occasionally, the pain was quite severe.  So I went to doc in the box where I had the cutest young red headed dr seeing me.  I described the problem and she got a little ruffled saying “we need to examine it, but I must have someone in the room with me”

so, she steps out and gets a nurse.

then, halfway hyperventilating she describes what we are going to do

- sit down and drape this sheet over your lap

- unbuckle your pants and belt and push them down under the sheet

- then stand up holding the sheet to shield yourself.  
 

I comply…the dr reaches under the sheet and starts feeling around blindly

I’m standing there trying to not make eye contact with the nurse in the corner who’s trying not to make eye contact with me.

as the Dr feels around she suddenly exclaims “oh!  That’s a big one!”

“Young Frankenstein” comes to mind and my spontaneous response - with proper inflection and tone - was “well thank you Doctor!”

at this point, the nurse in the corner is muffling a laugh as am I.   Finally, I said “oh!  You mean my epididymus?”

oops, I guess I shouldn’t have been so easily flattered, eh?