Is it a known risk to schedule for an hour?

[Kevin Slate]

I made arrangements for a one hour appointment with a provider I had seen a couple times prior.  We made the appointment two days beforehand when he contacted me to say he was available and I planned my travel accordingly.  He canceled the afternoon of the appointment after I texted to say I had arrived in town and had checked into the hotel.  He told me someone else offered an overnight.  When I mentioned I had changed my flight so I was sure I could meet at the time we planned he said that it’s a risk a client takes when planning for one hour and that he would always prioritize an overnight no matter what.  I have suspected that some providers canceled on the day of because they got a better (I.e., longer) offer, but I’ve rarely had someone be that direct about it.  How common do people think this happens and is there any way to try to prevent it? 

[dbar123]

When traveling I try to keep a few options open in terms of scheduling. Shit happens but it sucks that he bumped you. At least he was honest about it.

Find someone else, hopefully…..or see him another night. 
 

 

[56harrisond]

I suspect this is a fairly regular practice. Unfortunate that your schedule didn't provide for flexibility, but at least he was direct. And I can't fault the logic.

I once had a two hour scheduled when a provider I've met several times asked to reschedule when he got an overnight offer. I was flexible so that was fine with me. Later that day the provider the provider had the overnight guy cancel, so we met as originally scheduled.

[JourneysEnd]

I'd arranged to see a provider when I visited San Francisco, planned a few days before and confirmed the night before. I messaged him an hour before we were due to meet and got told "Sorry, on a train to Santa Barbara". I doubt he'd have let me know he was going to flake if I'd not chased.

Fortunately I found someone else at the last minute (and probably had a better time as the first guy had a lot of "I don't do..." stipulations).

One of the few times I thought about doing a 1 star RM review.

[Kevin Slate]

I agree with the comments that both client and provider need some flexibility.  I have always rescheduled whenever the provider asks — not just because they need to, but because they want to.  One provider asked in the morning if I had the flexibility to reschedule because he met out of town relatives at a wedding the night prior and they wanted to spend more time with him.  I told him I couldn’t reschedule because it was my last day in town, but said we should cancel and that he should take the opportunity to spend time with his relatives and I let him know when I was back in town.

In this particular case, the provider didn’t ask about whether we should reschedule, said it wasn’t convenient for him to change the time when I suggested it, and didn’t offer another day (the day we were meeting was the first of four days I offered to meet while in town).  He didn’t even apologize and saw it as what I should expect for only scheduling for an hour.  That’s why I asked the question.

I am finding that about 30-50% of my appointments lately get canceled by the provider within 24 hours of being confirmed.

I don’t know if any of the providers can comment on what they see happening with other providers (I am not asking them if they have personally ever canceled for a better session) and if there is anything a client can do to decrease this.

[bigdipper]

Most of the times when I get bumped for a better offer, the provider does not ask to reschedule. This, I don’t do it on my end!

[Simon Suraci]

This happens to me too. A client texted me today to schedule a shorter, lower cost session right in the middle of a big block of availability where I could otherwise schedule two longer, higher value sessions. 

I honored the shorter session because he booked first. I give priority to those who book ahead, or whoever books first. I keep my word after I book them. In this case I had to turn down two higher session value clients because the resulting two blocks of time were each too short to fulfill either of the higher fee session requests.

Then….the low value client no shows. No cancellation message, nothing, just ghosts. So now I’m out of the lower value fee AND the two higher value fees. Frustrating. Sometimes this happens, especially with new clients, and I accept that. I don’t let it bother me anymore.

If I had canceled on the low value client to accommodate the two higher value clients, the two higher value clients may have canceled or no-showed as well. You never know with new clients what they are going to do. You can’t win, and there’s no way to game the system. Some clients are real jerks sometimes and there’s no escaping that. I honor my first booked, first priority policy because it’s the only objective, low stress way to handle these matters. It also rewards and encourages clients booking ahead, which I prefer anyway.

This is the reason a lot of providers behave the way they do. I’m not saying it’s right, but our schedules are constantly changing. It feels like we’re reacting to a dozen things out of our control and trying to make the best of all the moving parts each hour of the day as it changes. And we’re trying to make good money and use our time most effectively.

The occasional unusual circumstance outside of my control pops up requiring me to cancel or reschedule on a client, but I never cancel because I got a “better offer”. Unusual circumstances are things like my whole building fire alarm is sounding.

[Moke]

21 hours ago, JourneysEnd said:

I'd arranged to see a provider when I visited San Francisco, planned a few days before and confirmed the night before. I messaged him an hour before we were due to meet and got told "Sorry, on a train to Santa Barbara". I doubt he'd have let me know he was going to flake if I'd not chased.

Fortunately I found someone else at the last minute (and probably had a better time as the first guy had a lot of "I don't do..." stipulations).

One of the few times I thought about doing a 1 star RM review.

Can you share which provider ditched you like that so rudely?  I’d like to steer clear..  many thanks. 

[blck37]

On 6/25/2023 at 9:24 AM, Kevin Slate said:

I made arrangements for a one hour appointment with a provider I had seen a couple times prior.  We made the appointment two days beforehand when he contacted me to say he was available and I planned my travel accordingly.  He canceled the afternoon of the appointment after I texted to say I had arrived in town and had checked into the hotel.  He told me someone else offered an overnight.  When I mentioned I had changed my flight so I was sure I could meet at the time we planned he said that it’s a risk a client takes when planning for one hour and that he would always prioritize an overnight no matter what.  I have suspected that some providers canceled on the day of because they got a better (I.e., longer) offer, but I’ve rarely had someone be that direct about it.  How common do people think this happens and is there any way to try to prevent it? 

As in any service based industry, stop booking him, bring your money elsewhere. It should be first come first serve basis. Even if not, at least apologise, repect each other's time and effort. Not saying one shouldnt be flexible to reschedule but an time sensible notice should be required given circumstances. 

Imo you are enabling his disrespectful attitude by keep giving him business.

To answer you tho, perhaps paying deposit or full amount might secure your booking. This might sounds harsh, but since he bumps you for bigger $$$ not sure if your 1ho worth of $ provide meaningful time blocker. Unless ofc you pay him more $$$$$$ 😂

To me, this is bout respect or lack thereof 🤷‍♂️

[JourneysEnd]

36 minutes ago, Moke said:

Can you share which provider ditched you like that so rudely?  I’d like to steer clear..  many thanks. 

NikolayD

[maninsoma]

Imagine a restaurant with two adjacent tables that each accommodate two people.  They accept a reservation for two, but have an empty table next to them that hasn't been reserved.  Then they get a request for a party of four, and they book that and tell the party of two who has already reserved that they can no longer accommodate them.

I've never had that happen to me.  I have certainly encountered restaurants that won't make reservations for small parties, but when they do make reservations for parties of two they honor them.  It just doesn't make sense to me that a provider would book an appointment and then not honor it, barring some unforeseen circumstance that doesn't include just getting a more lucrative offer.  Sounds like that provider needs to better schedule his time in advance.  For example, if he likes being available for overnights then don't schedule one hour appointments that begin after whatever time he would need to be available for an overnight. 

It's bad enough when a provider is flaky when you've never seen them before (and I've had my share of no-shows as well as men who cannot manage their time well and make me wait near their place because they are still with someone else or aren't home yet), but when it's someone you've seen before it's just puzzling from a business perspective.  Who wants to cause a repeat customer to decide to take his business elsewhere?

[cany10011]

That has only happened to me once (to my knowledge) where an escort would actually tell me that he had to cancel our meeting as someone booked an overnight. At least they were truthful. I was raised to keep my word even if it means sometimes missing out on other things (better dinner invites etc..). 

As a business decision the escort is free to do whatever he wants, but I would not repeat (he was a french/quebecois student traveling through NYC).

 

[marylander1940]

On 6/24/2023 at 9:24 PM, Kevin Slate said:

I made arrangements for a one hour appointment with a provider I had seen a couple times prior.  We made the appointment two days beforehand when he contacted me to say he was available and I planned my travel accordingly.  He canceled the afternoon of the appointment after I texted to say I had arrived in town and had checked into the hotel.  He told me someone else offered an overnight.  When I mentioned I had changed my flight so I was sure I could meet at the time we planned he said that it’s a risk a client takes when planning for one hour and that he would always prioritize an overnight no matter what.  I have suspected that some providers canceled on the day of because they got a better (I.e., longer) offer, but I’ve rarely had someone be that direct about it.  How common do people think this happens and is there any way to try to prevent it? 

Very unprofessional of him to do that! 

Most escorts DON'T behave like that! Considering you already hired him twice and you're his regular, he should have taken into account your willingness to hire him over and over again, right? 

Hopefully you won't be tempted to hire him again... there has been so many cases documented on here of clients behaving like doormats.

[Guest]

This behavior is unacceptable.

This is a business. Every interaction requires a base level of professionalism and respect. The client is paying for a service and should be treated like a customer. Cancelling an appointment confirmed two days in advance does not meet this base level. I understand things come up and sometimes appointments need to be cancelled, but that remark is rude. I know some clients and opportunities are more lucrative, but you don't say that out loud. Its common sense.

I'd also like to know which escort this was, so I can avoid them.

[SirBillybob]

I have hired from ads less than 10 times in the past 25 years, yet hundreds of sessions, and have no pattern in terms of sched reliability to describe. In the examples above I lean to ‘team client’.

However, there may be a parallel set of unique point-of-direct-interaction booking dynamics in strip clubs with private dances. I have had cases of dancers, as opposed to striking when the iron is hot in terms of my explicit interest in private dances with them, tell me they will circle back … usually the standard “give me 5-10 minutes”. This can be frustrating if they are very appealing and fixation-worthy.

That 10 minutes may drag out much longer. I typically don’t experience much back-up option and the one I want is usually the one I must have. If he is my 10, I don’t want to risk taking up with an 8. But I am not an out of town visitor and I can return often. 

They will then case the joint for other introductions and to make acknowledgements with regular customers. At times I will witness the dancer reeling in dance cash and coming back to me much later or not at all. In fact, I may approach again and they seem to be enthusiastically up for it. I have no way of knowing if they struggle to track their contacts over 5 hours, whether they feel that they should not approach me after I have waited a while, or they are still hedging for a better offer that might come along.

You can almost sense the abacus beads clicking around. Never ever ever do they allude to accommodation based on bidding.

Not surprisingly, in rare cases where I have been a regular dance client, I tend to be accommodated at point of request.

This weighing of variables must be as tiring for them as it is sometimes daunting for clients. I figure that in that setting the customer and dancer have mutual choice prerogative. Of course, the worst that occurs if one regularly lives nearby is that cash stays in one’s pocket for next time. 

On the up side, one would need to be delusional for the most part to imagine the dancer favours you outside of the pay cheque aspect.🤣

The transactional context keeps one grounded, most of the time. 

Edited June 26, 2023 by SirBillybob

[+ DrownedBoy]

I'm afraid that, from a business perspective, you can't argue if you get outbid.

If you wanted one hour some night, and someone else wants an overnight, you've been outbid.

Same if you and someone else want an hour, but they're willing to pay more.

I'm honest with providers; if someone has 5K in their pocket for them, I'll just wait since I can't outbid that.

One of the problems with an illegal, unregulated market.

[NJF]

In a big city, the traveling time for a 1hr appointment is a real issue. If a provider has to drive 40-50 min for it, I can understand that some will be reluctant to do it. 

Edited June 27, 2023 by NJF

[Kevin Slate]

I appreciate everyone’s feedback.  I’m not sure there is a great solution — hopefully most providers (and clients) can be more straightforward and considerate of each other.  I don’t plan to reach out to this provider again.  But I also don’t want to share his name since my goal wasn’t to give a negative review.  He has many reviews on RM and they are all quite positive.  He has been talked about on this forum and although most was quite positive, there were a few more recently where the client commented he was inconsiderate (rushed them, overscheduled, etc.).  This didn’t fit at all with my personal experience until recently, so I ignored them.  But I realize now he is probably great to be with some of the time but allows business concerns to compromise the service he provides other times.  Again, thanks for sharing your experience and recommendations —it’s much appreciated.

[John]

Has happened to me.

My response: "yes, I completely understand your choice.  You will also completely understand mine to never have contact with you again."

[Archbishop]

I always try to start out with 2 hour first appointments so I have a little more time to know the escort. Plus, one hour feels so rushed to me. 

[rvwnsd]

I typically book for an hour, with the option to extend if we both have the time and feel up to it. More than twenty years into hiring I've never had a guy cancel because he found a client who wanted to book a longer appointment. In fact, I've ony had a handfu of guys cancel or not show. It really isn't common. 

[+ DrownedBoy]

On 6/27/2023 at 8:08 AM, NJF said:

In a big city, the traveling time for a 1hr appointment is a real issue. If a provider has to drive 40-50 min for it, I can understand that some will be reluctant to do it. 

Agreed (I don't live in Boystown or the Loop, the most likely place for a Chicago provider to, respectively, live or stay).

However, I've found that if you take a 2-hour session, they'll ignore the travel time. Plus, it's usually a good deal.

Back on topic - I've actually told one of my regulars (who is a rather popular, constantly-travelling RM) that if someone wants an overnight with him, to just forget about me that night and grab the money. I respect him enough to make sure he doesn't miss out on good financial opportunities, especially since he already decided to stop escorting after a certain date.

[AJDalton]

Personally I would never cancel on someone cause I got a "better offer".  I grew up in Oklahoma though and was raised to have better manners than to mess with a client's time like that.  Also I believe in Karma.  

We as provider's probably get canceled on alot more than clients do though...  

Edited July 12, 2023 by AJDalton

[Jamie21]

I agree with @AJDalton it’s not good form to cancel a client because something better or more lucrative has come along. I’ve not done it (although I’ve never had something where the financial incentive is so compelling to do so!).

I have occasionally asked already booked clients if they can move their session forward or backwards by half hour or an hour so that I can accommodate another request but if the first come client says no then I honour their original booking. 

People book an hour to see whether they like you. It’s a more cost effective way to try out before booking longer. I’d rather have a regularly returning 1 hour client than a once off longer client. So I think it’s good business to be respectful and honour those who have already booked, even if it’s an hour because you never know: they could become a regular. My business is sustained by regulars. 

The other point to note is that I get disappointed when clients cancel a booking, so I really don’t want to be doing it to them unless of course it’s unavoidable (sickness or something like that). 
 

 

[Decatur Guy]

This is one reason I don't travel to another city for brief appointments. I take what's available where I am and try to develop about four or five regulars. If I'm traveling with this kind of thing in mind, I do it at a place such as New York City where there will be plenty of backups -- and other fun, nonsexual things to do. I've also never traveled exclusively to meet a provider. That person might be a major reason, but not the only one. 

If I have an open day, I will tell providers with whom I am just booking for an hour that I am flexible on time if they can get another short appointment in that I'm glad to change the time with a couple of hours of notice. As far as I know, I've never been ditched for an overnight. But I also book mostly same-day appointments.