@redbottle, I am sorry you went through this situation. I have not read thoroughly the thread, so I apologize if I am repeating what other posters said, but if you are someone who has something to lose you should never meet for the first time an online hookup, from any platform, at your place.
As I also like very young men, and I used to live in DC when I was using Grindr, I would always set a first date at a known bar, where I knew that they cared about their liquor license and therefore would ask for ID to every single customer. This safety measure is not infalible of course, but it would significantly reduce the risk of ending in an underage situation.
I do not know if someone else shared that advice. I do know many shared this one, and I will repeat it again: YOU SHOULD NEVER PAY IN ADVANCE to someone you never met before. The few times I sent a deposit or paid in advance was to a regular, someone I knew and trusted.
Good luck in future hook ups. If you are not a hopeless dummy, you are wiser now.