When the provider shows up in my social media...

[alrajee]

I am visiting my hometown for two weeks and decided to hire a guy for an evening.

I don't know what powers the Zuck has, but not long after I book the guy (using my hiring email/Google Voice number/"naughty" browser [Microsoft Edge]), his personal account shows up on my Instagram.

I'm trying to figure out whether I should cancel and tell him why, or tell him so that the ball is on his court. It doesn't look like he runs in the same social circles as my friends back home, so I do not have any problems going through with the meeting if he's comfortable.

Providers and clients, what would you do were you in my situation?

Edited May 19, 2023 by alrajee
Clarifications

[+ poolboy48220]

I've had this happen, probably because the provider's phone is in my contacts.  I don't worry about it.

[maninsoma]

The link might not even be personal, by which I mean it isn't based on anyone knowing you contacted him.  It could simply be that you are known to be visiting the area (you have booked flights & accommodations for the area and have maybe done some other searches related to the area) and that guy's profile gets recommended to people in that area.

Or maybe, unknown to you, a friend of yours has hired this guy and he is being suggested to you as someone of interest because you do have a common connection.

You could ask the guy if he sought you out on Instagram after you booked him, and if that's why he showed up on your account you can decide to cancel your appointment if that bothers you. 

[+ DrownedBoy]

Yeah happened to me because a regular was in my contacts. I quickly hid it - I didn't want to get personally involved.

[sjmuktop]

I follow several of my regular and semi-regular guys on Insta and a few of them follow me back. I have no issue with it at all. 

[+ tassojunior]

gotta say, following Colin Simpson's been a hoot this year with his fights with wife. Now that they're back he's deleting several but he kept me on one (he'll be back). It got viciously worse for four days then they made up next day. Of course that was April.....

[acks0104]

It doesn't sound like he actually reached out to you, which is what I was expecting based no the title of the thread. If you're feeling extra anxious, just do whatever makes you most comfortable, but I wouldn't really be that bothered. FYI, there are multiple free phone apps that allow you to have a burner phone number on your cell phone. I always use one to reach out to escorts and never use those numbers for anything else, so I'm not at all connected to it. You might want to consider doing that instead of a Google number which does end up getting linked back to other things.

[marylander1940]

39 minutes ago, tassojunior said:

gotta say, following Colin Simpson's been a hoot this year with his fights with wife. Now that they're back he's deleting several but he kept me on one (he'll be back). It got viciously worse for four days then they made up next day. Of course that was April.....

Taking this slightly off subject that's so white trash

 

15 hours ago, alrajee said:

I am visiting my hometown for two weeks and decided to hire a guy for an evening.

I don't know what powers the Zuck has, but not long after I book the guy (using my hiring email/Google Voice number/"naughty" browser [Microsoft Edge]), his personal account shows up on my Instagram.

I'm trying to figure out whether I should cancel and tell him why, or tell him so that the ball is on his court. It doesn't look like he runs in the same social circles as my friends back home, so I do not have any problems going through with the meeting if he's comfortable.

Providers and clients, what would you do were you in my situation?

Why would you cancel? Hire him! He possibly popped on your Instagram because you saved his number in your contacts. No big deal, it happens! 

 

 

[alrajee]

7 hours ago, tassojunior said:

gotta say, following Colin Simpson's been a hoot this year with his fights with wife. Now that they're back he's deleting several but he kept me on one (he'll be back). It got viciously worse for four days then they made up next day. Of course that was April.....

Wait, they're back together despite getting thrown in jail for violating a restraining order she had for him?

[rvwnsd]

I'd ignore it. 

Just curious: Why would you cancel the meeting with him?

[+ tassojunior]

5 hours ago, alrajee said:

Wait, they're back together despite getting thrown in jail for violating a restraining order she had for him?

that was way back in April

[MuscleDaddyRWC]

On 5/19/2023 at 12:37 AM, alrajee said:

 

I don't know what powers the Zuck has, 

I hooked up with a guy on BBRTS (no phone/email contact & I didn't state my name) and later that day he popped up on Facebook as a friend suggestion and we have 1 mutual friend.  Kinda creepy, Zuck. 

Edited May 20, 2023 by MuscleDaddyRWC

[marylander1940]

7 hours ago, alrajee said:

Wait, they're back together despite getting thrown in jail for violating a restraining order she had for him?

Same trailer, different park... 🧐

[pubic_assistance]

On 5/19/2023 at 3:37 AM, alrajee said:

I don't know what powers the Zuck has

Facebook / Instagram links everyone's multiple contacts together. I get friend suggestions about people I haven't seen in decades but somehow they know I called this person or emailed 12 years ago.

Edited May 20, 2023 by pubic_assistance
grammar

[nate_sf]

This kind of thing happens from time to time in this pastime, on both the client’s and provider’s side. Technology is always in the background, making surprising connections. It’s usually best to not mention it to the other party, just let it sit unless he suggests connecting once you’ve met. 

Some providers have public-facing social media that they use to promote themselves, so that’s different than if it’s a personal profile with friends and family stuff. If it’s promotional social media, then that’s different and I’d see no issue with connecting… that’s what it’s for. I have this, and I like it when a client connects and engages. But if it’s a personal account, best to let it lie. 

Worth mentioning is that another common way people may inadvertently reveal their identity is through the payment apps. When people send me payment through Venmo it more often than not shows their real name. I never say anything other than acknowledge the payment, but if someone is concerned with privacy this is something to consider. 

[MuscleDaddyRWC]

I matched with a guy on Scruff a couple years ago and neither of us ever contacted the other.

Then, not realizing he was the same guy, I hired him off RentMasseur last year. I realized all this after the second massage session. I've seen him  couple of times since but haven't said anything, still unsure about wrecking the professional relationship. 

[Simon Suraci]

1 hour ago, MuscleDaddyRWC said:

I matched with a guy on Scruff a couple years ago and neither of us ever contacted the other.

I wouldn’t bring it up. Lots of men match on Scruff and never meet or chat. I wouldn’t ruin the hiring relationship you have now by mentioning it. Doing so implies you’re expecting him to offer you his time and talent for free because you maybe might have matched on that one platform that one time…

If anything take it as a compliment and put it in the back of your mind. He probably doesn’t even remember.

[alrajee]

On 5/20/2023 at 2:40 AM, rvwnsd said:

I'd ignore it. 

Just curious: Why would you cancel the meeting with him?

Initially, I felt awkward when his account got suggested to me. (It's his personal account, not a work account.)

[alrajee]

Thanks for everyone's replies. 

I'm going to continue with the booking but I won't mention that his personal account got suggested to me. (Just hope I don't slip and call him by his real name. 😅)

If we end up having a good time that I book him for another meeting while I'm in town, I'll probably mention it then, but only if we feel comfortable with each other's company.

[MuscleDaddyRWC]

16 hours ago, Simon Suraci said:

I wouldn’t bring it up. Lots of men match on Scruff and never meet or chat

Exactly why I was leaning against it. 

[Strafe13]

12 hours ago, alrajee said:

Thanks for everyone's replies. 

I'm going to continue with the booking but I won't mention that his personal account got suggested to me. (Just hope I don't slip and call him by his real name. 😅)

If we end up having a good time that I book him for another meeting while I'm in town, I'll probably mention it then, but only if we feel comfortable with each other's company.

I’d guess that this happened because you probably have certain settings enabled in your social media apps on your phone. I think that they default to regularly perusing your own phone contacts for potential friends. So, once you save a provider’s number and/or email to your phone, when the apps (Facebook, Instagram, etc.) do their regular behind the scenes work, if the provider used the same contact info when he signed up, the app will suggest him as someone you might know or wish to follow.  If you’ve only used a burner number (or apps like Google Voice, Text Now, etc.) to contact providers, then so long as you’ve never linked that number to your own social media profiles, you shouldn’t pop up on the providers’ social media apps as a potential friend/contact.

 

I first saw this happening like a decade ago, which is what prompted me to switch to using apps with different phone numbers when I partake in this hobby.  I also let some of my regulars know when they popped up in my social media apps, so they could either get new business numbers/email addresses, or de-link those from their social media profiles.  Each time I mentioned it, they were very grateful and didn’t think of me as some weird stalker.  More folks are aware of this now, so there’s a chance that this guy already knows and doesn’t mind. Maybe he has a “brand,” so he likes getting as much exposure as possible across all platforms?  Either way, since you use an alternate number and email, I’d think that you’re not at risk of inadvertent disclosure in this manner.  So none of this should be a reason to cancel a booked appointment with a guy you’re already looking forward to seeing.  Have a great time!

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

This is good reminder that no matter how cloaked you may think you are, you're not.  Not really.

If you have a lot of lose, this isn't the level at which you should be playing the game.

This advice goes for both sides. 

[DWnyc]

2 minutes ago, BenjaminNicholas said:

This is good reminder that no matter how cloaked you may think you are, you're not.  Not really.

If you have a lot of lose, this isn't the level at which you should be playing the game.

This advice goes for both sides. 

To add to that … standard strategy applying to a lot of scenarios, if you feel you have a lot to lose (you may not, actually, in the big scheme of things) don’t reveal your insecurities;  if your counterparty is “not a nice guy” you are handing him a weapon. 

 

 

[+ keroscenefire]

 

I've seen escorts show up on social media quite a lot. Actually on Instagram a lot especially because my business works with LGBTQ venues and a lot of escorts in Denver are bartenders and/or dancers at LGBTQ venues around town. I also have certainly seen these guys IRL fairly often as well. But you just have to respect their privacy just as they respect yours. 

[BonVivant]

It’s not an issue if no one knows about it. 🤷🏽‍♂️