Importing and Helping out a Good Boy

[jtwalker]

Honestly, my question is simply, “why?”

Living with someone is overrated.  I prefer situations where I can enjoy someone company for as long as we are both enjoying it, but without the commitment and mingling of everything.

Why complicate things?  

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

Am I the only person who's a little weirded out by the title of this thread?

[cany10011]

11 hours ago, BSR said:

If this marriage lasts less than a year, is that enough time to get the young man a green card?

Believe the poster is in Canada, so it would be a permanent residency card. 

[cany10011]

8 minutes ago, Benjamin_Nicholas said:

Am I the only person who's a little weirded out by the title of this thread?

Me too. The cringeworthy word “importing” smacks of commodification. 

Edited December 17, 2021 by cany10011

[+ azdr0710]

formerly prolific poster @lonely_john hasn't logged in since his OP in this thread a week ago.....all kinds of possible reasons for that, of course.....

[maninsoma]

On 12/17/2021 at 7:23 AM, Benjamin_Nicholas said:

Am I the only person who's a little weirded out by the title of this thread?

No.  That's why I put quotation marks around that word in my reply.  I hope my intention came across: While I am not doubting the OP's genuine belief that he's making an offer to help someone he perceives as in need, the whole thing just makes me uncomfortable since it's presented not only as commercial transaction (importing versus someone immigrating) but also the underlying assumptions are rather patronizing.  That's why I suggested to flip the script to see how he would feel about being offered such a scenario if the tables were turned.  Unless I was in very dire circumstances I would, at best, view this as a naive but well intentioned offer and, at worst, highly insulting -- as if I needed to be rescued by someone who lives in a more affluent country without much thought given to how disruptive that would be to my life.

[+ FrankR]

@lonely_john How did things work out?

[+ azdr0710]

We still haven't heard from @lonely_johnsince his OP in this thread. No log in to the forum at all. I hope all is good. 

[+ nycman]

9 minutes ago, azdr0710 said:

We still haven't heard from @lonely_johnsince his OP in this thread. No log in to the forum at all. I hope all is good. 

[+ tassojunior]

On 12/17/2021 at 2:30 AM, Unicorn said:

Just be sure he's really bi and in love with you, and not gay-for-pay. 

Hell I'd marry just for sex in a heartbeat. 

[robberbaron4u]

The road to hell is paved with good intentions; lust mistaken for love greases the pavers for a quick slide. . .

[+ glutes]

I've been in talks with an immigration agent and it seems that marriage is one of the options to bring him home and give him a quick kickstart.

Easy to get into, and very hard to get out of.

[+ FreshFluff]

Did anyone else read the title and think he was talking about a dog?

[jeezifonly]

Maybe a good of thumb:

Ask yourself:

Am I absolutely sure that I am ready to marry or adopt this person and take on all parts of legal, personal and financial responsibility that entails? 

If the answer is no, then don’t put yourself at risk just to bring a good boy here… Good boys always find a home. 

 

[+ Tygerscent]

Tattoo the postage on him so he doesn’t get lost in the shipping~ Sometimes those paper stamps fall off when the package gets wet~ 

Edited February 14, 2022 by Tygerscent

[xyz48B]

Recognizing this thread is oooold and the OP is MIA,

nonetheless

this feels icky. 

[MscleLovr]

Eh? I’m very surprised @xyz48B. First, you consider a thread started only 8 weeks ago as “oooold”. But secondly, you then express your distaste.
 

Reading between the lines, I felt the OP was lonely and seeking a more fulfilled sexual and social life.

[Luv2play]

I noticed some time ago that lonely_john had not posted or visited this site since he started this thread on Dec 11. Prior to that he was a frequent poster on many topics for one who had only joined the forum as a member just a year or so earlier.

I wonder what has happened. He asked for no negatively in the responses offered and by and large members here gave him thoughtful responses imo. 

One reason I noticed him is that he is a fellow Canadian and there are relatively few of us on this forum, according to stats I have read here (less than 2 percent).

I hope all is going well with him and perhaps it is and he no longer requires this sounding board to express himself. I remember I abscented myself from this site for a number of years and then came back as couple of years ago. Things sometimes go that way. 

[KeepItReal]

33 minutes ago, Luv2play said:

I noticed some time ago that lonely_john had not posted or visited this site since he started this thread on Dec 11. Prior to that he was a frequent poster on many topics for one who had only joined the forum as a member just a year or so earlier.

I wonder what has happened. He asked for no negatively in the responses offered and by and large members here gave him thoughtful responses imo. 

One reason I noticed him is that he is a fellow Canadian and there are relatively few of us on this forum, according to stats I have read here (less than 2 percent).

I hope all is going well with him and perhaps it is and he no longer requires this sounding board to express himself. I remember I abscented myself from this site for a number of years and then came back as couple of years ago. Things sometimes go that way. 

 

On 2/13/2022 at 9:15 PM, azdr0710 said:

We still haven't heard from @lonely_johnsince his OP in this thread. No log in to the forum at all. I hope all is good. 

Let's hope he is "lonely" no more!! 😁

[+ nycman]

19 hours ago, KeepItReal said:

 

Let's hope he is "lonely" no more!! 😁

[Walker1]

On 12/17/2021 at 8:53 PM, Benjamin_Nicholas said:

Am I the only person who's a little weirded out by the title of this thread?

I felt the same-importing someone-perhaps an oversight. One doesn't import people-goods or livestock only. Perhaps a mistake . But otherwise-it seems too soon-why not have him come as a tourist for a few months and see how it goes?  This sound like one of the mail order brides situation.

[LookingAround]

Sorry but I can’t let this terminology go unchallenged. Even if consciously unintentional, use of the term “importing” when referring to a human being just gets to the heart of human trafficking and exploitation. I find it more than offensive. 

[+ Lucky]

14 hours ago, nycman said:

What's with this picture? I find it offensive and nasty to the OP.

From Wikipedia:

Cutthroat

The cutthroat gesture is performed by drawing the hand, or a finger or two, across the throat. It represents slitting the throat with a knife, and means that the gesturer or someone else is metaphorically being killed. It is rarely if ever used literally to refer to death, though it is occasionally used as a theatrical threat ("I'm going to kill you"). The gesture earned a great deal of national notoriety in the NFL during the 1999 season in which several players did the cutthroat gesture.

[Rudynate]

Things might have changed during Trump's term, but importing brides from Asia was pretty common among straight guys.  I don't know the mechanics, but they would jet off to the Phillipines or another place in SE Asia and come back married.   One of my older brothers did it.  His first wife was white.  Their marriage ended when his wife caught him in an affair with an Asian woman in another city.    I don't remember how long he was single after that, but then he made a couple trips to the Phillipines and came back with a wife.  They've been happily married for probably about ten years.

[+ tassojunior]

There's a fiancé visa and I think one has 6 months? to get married on it after coming to the US.