Exhausted from hiring

[Anthony]

Does anyone else get exhausted from hiring or should I say the process of hiring? I feel like no one discusses the amount of work it takes to find a provider you like, set up an appointment, read reviews about them, and make travel arrangements. 

Within the past 2-3 months, I've tried very hard hiring men who actively are on RM and I either get no response or ghosted.  I sometimes message up to a dozen or more providers in a day and only get a response from about 1 or 2 of them. 

With the amount they charge, I expect a higher level of professionalism. What is with the market these days? Are they not interested in making money from doing this service? Do they not want to be in this business? It could be the area where I'm looking to hire (NYC area). 

All of this is making me pretty tired from hiring because of the amount of time it takes to make sure its 1. a guy I'm into, 2. someone who's not tryin to scam me, and 3. not regret the decision of spending time and money on this person. With that in mind, the amount of times I've been disappointed or regretted seeing someone also plays a factor. 

 

[+ sync]

Regrettably, professionalism in general is hovering very near the endangered species listing.

[guru68]

Trusted providers of any sort of are valuable for this very reason. I recall being miserable when my barber of 20 years moved away.

[+ StLouisOct]

Your experience is foreign to me. I hire locally so I don’t have experience with arranging travel. I always hire RM escorts. I introduce myself with a cordial, informative text describing myself and what I like. It’s almost universally met with a response and I’ve had many good experiences, and many long-term (business) relationships with a variety of RM escorts.

[Mark_fl]

I agree that it is difficult,  especially if your attraction is limited to a specific type. Finding a guy you're into, who is into what you want, and at a reasonable rate is difficult. At to that those who don't communicate well or have issues that have them disappearing after you think you have something set up, and yes, it can be tiring.

Even worse if your time is limited and have to fit meetings into a window.

But, as others have said, I find almost everyone I interact with in business,  or who I've interviewed (and sometimes mistakenly hired) is startlingly incompetent,  so I shouldn't be surprised. 

So if I find someone I like, I'd like to keep it fun, mutually beneficial and establish a bit of a relationship. 

Edited Sunday at 07:06 PM by Mark_fl

[jawjateck]

Similar issues have led me to take long breaks between hiring. Then after some time away, the galaxies align, and I find another companion who puts the zeal back “into me” and I’m in the game again.

[HockeyMan]

Escorts get a lot of messages from unreliable prospective clients, and guys who treat messaging as cybersex. It wastes their time. And the in demand providers get a lot of messages. If a provider doesn't respond to you, it means he's not into you or doesn't have time to reply.

[big-n-tall]

1 hour ago, jawjateck said:

Similar issues have led me to take long breaks between hiring. Then after some time away, the galaxies align, and I find another companion who puts the zeal back “into me” and I’m in the game again.

Zeal back into you, you say? Is that what you're calling it and how many inches? 😁

[mtaabq]

11 minutes ago, HockeyMan said:

If a provider doesn't respond to you, it means he's not into you or doesn't have time to reply.

There’s your answer. I experience about a 50% “reply” rate. I have to assume that the 50% of providers that do not reply to me simply don’t want or need my business. I have long-since stopped taking that personally. There is no point in trying to do business with someone who does not wish to do business with me. So, at times, it’s a bit of a search and requires more effort on my part to find someone suitable and compatible. 

[mtaabq]

I am not “exhausted” from hiring but I am weary at times of the effort needed to find someone willing, compatible and affordable. (My tastes tend to run somewhat “left of center” in that I don’t seek muscle men or gym bodies or even the biggest dick. I want a pony keg, not a 6-pack, lol!) 

[Ohmynuts87]

Hell, i recently got a reply from someone who checked all my boxes that said we can me meet up, but when I tried to set it up he stop replying lol. Ghosted. It can be tiresome. But our best bet is to champion the good escorts who communicate and respect your time just like you should respect theirs.  When you find someone you enjoy you may need to become a repeat offender to lessen some of the hassle lol.

[Straightbutdumb]

I have good months and bad ones. To be honest, I sometimes welcome the dead months because they give me a chance to pay down my debt and make extra payments on my investments. As they say, every cloud has a silver lining.

[polysome]

When you find a worthy regular, hold on to them and treat them well!

[PVink]

21 minutes ago, polysome said:

When you find a worthy regular, hold on to them and treat them well!

I agree with this. Build a bench of regulars and plan in advance. Most of my regulars travel a lot so they could be dispersed all over the US. They all have RM profiles so I just keep an eye on where they are if they advertise it. I’m a planner so I’ll get them on the schedule weeks out.  I have one scheduled for mid October right now.  I believe providers prefer to build their own stable of trusted clients. So it’s win-win if you find each other.
 

Another thing to consider is that messages could be buried in dozens or even a hundred messages if one is pursuing a highly sought provider (caucasian twinks under 25 are unicorns in my area).  The volume of messages can be overwhelming to them. I recommend reaching out periodically (once a week) until you get some reply. Any more than that may scream desperation or obsession. Move on after a month and try again in a few months if they still have active profiles.  I got one reply two months after I sent it. Patience is key.

Some providers treat this as a full time job, others as a casual hobby, so availability varies.

[myophile]

At this point, after almost a decade of hiring, I tend to rely on one or two local guys I know and trust, and can count on to provide a good time. I live in NYC, and have never had problems connecting with guys in this crowded market; what’s often frustrating is the meet-up itself. I like a little variety as much as the next guy, but it seems clear to me that many (most?) of the fresh faces I meet are just in the wrong line of work LOL— or at least, can’t provide that minimal level of connection that elevates the experience above a leisurely wank in your own bathroom … Bottom line: I’m not tired of hiring, but I AM tired of chasing fresh meat.

Edited Sunday at 12:24 AM by myophile

[DMonDude]

6 hours ago, StLouisOct said:

Your experience is foreign to me. I hire locally so I don’t have experience with arranging travel. I always hire RM escorts. I introduce myself with a cordial, informative text describing myself and what I like. It’s almost universally met with a response and I’ve had many good experiences, and many long-term (business) relationships with a variety of RM escorts.

This has mostly been my experience as well. I definitely think there's an art to a clients opening message that is a factor in a provider's likelihood to respond. I don't get super cordial in the message but over my time doing this i start with more info up front, specifically asking about a specific date/time. I've found that when i start by asking about rate, or confirming their "intos" or asking for pics first are the messages that are most likely to get slow or no replies.

4 hours ago, HockeyMan said:

Escorts get a lot of messages from unreliable prospective clients, and guys who treat messaging as cybersex. It wastes their time. And the in demand providers get a lot of messages. If a provider doesn't respond to you, it means he's not into you or doesn't have time to reply.

Definitely agree with this as well. At a certain point, we have to realize some of the guys advertising are getting tons of messages in very short spans of time. They physically cannot read and respond to every person in a timely manner. The ones who try are also usually the providers many then complain about being on their phone during a session with us, can't really have it both ways.

I have an escort friend who's shown me his RM DMs and the amount of messages flooding in at any given time he gets online is insane. He looks at the first couple that come in when he gets online and responds to those and which ever one is most efficient at booking is who gets the slot. He doesn't even look at the other messages. So, OP or anyone who gets frustrated with not getting responses, that can sometimes be what is happening. There is simply a finite amount of people who will get a response and you're playing a lottery that your message is one of the handful the escort opens when they sign in at a given moment. It's not something that should be taken personally, or even necessarily be tied to a lack of professionalism. It simply is a factor of the difficulties of fielding clients at scale as a one person operation (who then is also expected to not be on their phone at all when with clients).

Edited Sunday at 03:00 AM by DMonDude

[BuffaloKyle]

Remember when you are hiring that if no one checks all the boxes you are looking for don't feel the need to settle. I've had buyer's remorse before and it stinks when you feel you could have just watched some porn to get off instead of spending hundreds of dollars on someone who didn't even fully meet what you were looking for. It's so satisfying when you land on and can connect with someone who totally is what you're looking for in a provider and you have an amazing time.

[JayeMichigan]

I think it averages out over time. I have no luck hiring in my hometown Detroit. My top three prospective hires seem to avoid me. 

However, for my previous two out of town trips and my upcoming trip next week, (it will be a span of 7 weeks) I've had about an 80% favorable response rate. I'm going to go broke!

Admittedly, advice gleaned from CoM forum members about communication and specific providers has helped tremendously. 

[CAmusclelover]

I think this has a lot to do with your specific tastes and wants. If you are picky like I am, you will probably only match with 1-5% of the guys on here. But if you have no taste or will just go for anything , then you have lots of options. 

Don’t feel bad because you have some standards 🙂

[Aamir]

I'm traveling next month.  I messaged three guys today that some of you said are non- responsive.  My opening message to each was... "Hi [escort], I'm visting in October.  Looking for an evening companion. I'm [age], [height], [weight], verse top, [race] but raised in the US, living in [home city]. Let me know your availability when you get a chance."

My stats are HWP so i have the privilege of including them.  I include my sexual position so they know this is about sex.

All three replied. I also know my Mr. Number comments are positive.

Curious what you folks are writing?

[muscmtl]

22 hours ago, sync said:

Regrettably, professionalism in general is hovering very near the endangered species listing.

Of all the "let them eat cake" posts here, this one is at the top. 

What's next? Exhausted of being privileged and Rich.

[+ KensingtonHomo]

19 hours ago, mtaabq said:

I am not “exhausted” from hiring but I am weary at times of the effort needed to find someone willing, compatible and affordable. (My tastes tend to run somewhat “left of center” in that I don’t seek muscle men or gym bodies or even the biggest dick. I want a pony keg, not a 6-pack, lol!) 

I feel like this is very common to our experience. I went through RM in NYC the other day and most of the guys we're interested in - more guy next door types  -are quite hard to find. I don't want a huge muscle guy, I don't want six pack abs (though they're not prohibitive). I do want someone who looks interesting and like they'll be a lot of fun. 

[Anthony]

21 hours ago, jawjateck said:

Similar issues have led me to take long breaks between hiring. Then after some time away, the galaxies align, and I find another companion who puts the zeal back “into me” and I’m in the game again.

Trust me I've taken a long hiatus before from hiring. I went a whole year without sucking a cock! 

 

20 hours ago, HockeyMan said:

Escorts get a lot of messages from unreliable prospective clients, and guys who treat messaging as cybersex. It wastes their time. And the in demand providers get a lot of messages. If a provider doesn't respond to you, it means he's not into you or doesn't have time to reply.

Works both ways. It waste my time as well when they do not reply or leave me hanging without any follow-up. Remember they are the ones providing the service. 

 

19 hours ago, Straightbutdumb said:

I have good months and bad ones. To be honest, I sometimes welcome the dead months because they give me a chance to pay down my debt and make extra payments on my investments. As they say, every cloud has a silver lining.

Yup I can easily put my money towards something else. 

 

14 hours ago, CAmusclelover said:

I think this has a lot to do with your specific tastes and wants. If you are picky like I am, you will probably only match with 1-5% of the guys on here. But if you have no taste or will just go for anything , then you have lots of options. 

Don’t feel bad because you have some standards 🙂

My standards are indeed pretty high and I don't want to lower them. 

[+ KensingtonHomo]

19 minutes ago, Anthony said:

Works both ways. It waste my time as well when they do not reply or leave me hanging without any follow-up. Remember they are the ones providing the service. 

I don't technically disagree with you. But there's a nuance here that is missing. If you're a reasonably attractive woman on a straight dating app, you will be BARRAGED by messages from men. Whereas men get very few messages. I imagine most providers are on the end of being barraged - especially ones who are extremely conventionally attractive and built, or have porn or OF careers- and get a near-constant stream of bullshit. That can make it hard to tell what's a real request and what's someone who wants to beat off. So if you have high standards and are aiming for what most consider the top tier, it may be a bit of an uphill battle for their attention.

[+ JamesB]

Sometimes I get exhausted from hiring, but then a couple of days later I’m horny again and I get over it.  😁