Exhausted from hiring

[jeezifonly]

 

Hiring, for me, is a treat, a luxury. This reduces the importance of fee, so it's never my first question. I'm also retired, which allows flexibility in scheduling. When I reach out,  I begin with date, time and place (always theirs), and have alternate day/time slots to inquire about, if responding he's unavailable. My only limiting spec is age: over 35. Type, size, race, all flexible, which broadens the field when options for the first run out. 

I have never pursued hobbies that exhaust me. That's what the rest of life is for. 

[bigdaddy]

On 9/5/2026 at 3:32 PM, Anthony said:

Does anyone else get exhausted from hiring or should I say the process of hiring? I feel like no one discusses the amount of work it takes to find a provider you like, set up an appointment, read reviews about them, and make travel arrangements. 

Within the past 2-3 months, I've tried very hard hiring men who actively are on RM and I either get no response or ghosted.  I sometimes message up to a dozen or more providers in a day and only get a response from about 1 or 2 of them. 

With the amount they charge, I expect a higher level of professionalism. What is with the market these days? Are they not interested in making money from doing this service? Do they not want to be in this business? It could be the area where I'm looking to hire (NYC area). 

All of this is making me pretty tired from hiring because of the amount of time it takes to make sure its 1. a guy I'm into, 2. someone who's not tryin to scam me, and 3. not regret the decision of spending time and money on this person. With that in mind, the amount of times I've been disappointed or regretted seeing someone also plays a factor. 

 

There’s a possibility their “handler” flagged you.

[theplayerking]

I agree that the guys on RM are the most responsive. I have terrible luck on HUNQZ. I can’t get anyone to acknowledge an inquiry. 

[Heart It Deep]

On 9/5/2026 at 3:32 PM, Anthony said:

Does anyone else get exhausted from hiring or should I say the process of hiring? I feel like no one discusses the amount of work it takes to find a provider you like, set up an appointment, read reviews about them, and make travel arrangements. 

Within the past 2-3 months, I've tried very hard hiring men who actively are on RM and I either get no response or ghosted.  I sometimes message up to a dozen or more providers in a day and only get a response from about 1 or 2 of them. 

With the amount they charge, I expect a higher level of professionalism. What is with the market these days? Are they not interested in making money from doing this service? Do they not want to be in this business? It could be the area where I'm looking to hire (NYC area). 

All of this is making me pretty tired from hiring because of the amount of time it takes to make sure its 1. a guy I'm into, 2. someone who's not tryin to scam me, and 3. not regret the decision of spending time and money on this person. With that in mind, the amount of times I've been disappointed or regretted seeing someone also plays a factor. 

 

I empathize, a lot with what you're saying.  I've noticed that some of the providers I've messaged who don't answer, also may not have good reviews here or it's mixed.  

The idea of having a regular hire is indeed better in theory, 

[CAmusclelover]

HUNQZ basically has the same people as RM 

[ShortCutie7]

Yes, it takes a lot of time/effort to find a guy who can host at a convenient location/time and ticks my other boxes. It’s still infinitely easier than Grindr!

[+ KensingtonHomo]

1 hour ago, ShortCutie7 said:

It’s still infinitely easier than Grindr!

This is the biggest reason we hire. The convenience. 

[MscleLovr]

“Does anyone else get exhausted from….the process of hiring?….the amount of work it takes to find a provider you like, set up an appointment, read reviews about them, and make travel arrangements”

The OP has my full sympathy.
It’s years since I dated but I feel it was easier then. There were fewer apps and very few dating sites, but many more nice guys (aka amateurs) looking to supplement their income.

Perhaps most importantly, there was no way online for men to generate significant money as individual performers. Those wishing to work in porn had to work for a studio that retailed the movies. Nowadays individuals can work on OnlyFans and rival sites to generate significant money.

In one way, however, nothing is new about the considerable effort involved in finding Mr Right or Mr Right Now. Whether a date or a hiring is contemplated, it has always involved a lot of work.
After meeting a nice guy socially or at the gym, I’d invite them for a coffee.
If that went well, I’d arrange a date for dinner.
If that worked - as in the guy didn’t cancel or forget (aka no-show aka ghosting) and he didn’t get drunk, but the conversation flowed easily - and we both wanted, I’d take him home. 
And if we were sexually compatible and we had fun together, we’d have repeat dates.

But there was much more effort involved if you wanted to arrange a date with more than 1 guy. Threesomes had to be negotiated, and fourgies required a lot of scheduling.
Group sex sounds a great idea but the effort needed multiplied: large hotel room with an extra big bed, many extra towels, beverages organised with room service beforehand etc. All after arranging the right number of tops, bottoms and versatile guys in the group…then hoping that everyone was punctual and arrived as scheduled. 
 

[viewing ownly]

For the younger set, the money it costs them to run a rent men ad to truly never hire, but to get more money traffic for their social media, it's worth it.

Also, it "sends off alarms" for the guys you're trying to see if your inquiry looks TOO professionally done, as if they can tell it clearly is someone who is older (or smarter) than they are, and are an instant turn-off compared to the "sup", "hey", crowd that sends a body pic with their 1st message, and is around their age. 

Look at the bright side of your frustration - two guys out of ten or so DO get back with you, on average in a day. Proceed with them, and fuck the eight flakes. 

[Rayphactor]

9 hours ago, viewing ownly said:

Also, it "sends off alarms" for the guys you're trying to see if your inquiry looks TOO professionally done, as if they can tell it clearly is someone who is older (or smarter) than they are, and are an instant turn-off compared to the "sup", "hey", crowd that sends a body pic with their 1st message, and is around their age. 

Oh man, that just hit me. Geeezus, I am not talking their language because I am old.