RM profiles and "Ask Me" sexual orientation

[rojjodc]

I am a little intrigued by what this means or the intent for providers who chose this for their sexual orientation?  What could it possibly mean?  Are providers required to answer this question, and they choose this because they don't want to answer?

[+ KensingtonHomo]

I generally skip anyone with that response; same as guys who list themselves as straight. I actually find all the very clearly GAY guys listing themselves as "bisexual" to be annoying. 

[aiseeya]

17 minutes ago, rojjodc said:

I am a little intrigued by what this means or the intent for providers who chose this for their sexual orientation?  What could it possibly mean?  Are providers required to answer this question, and they choose this because they don't want to answer?

They are likely str8 but not wanting to definitively limit their market. That said, I wonder why not just say 'bi'. Its RM so I doubt there is high % of str8 women users.

[BenjaminNYC]

I am always confused by profiles which have "Ask Me" for sexual orientation or position.  I've found many providers get annoyed when a potential client does indeed ask them, and accuses the potential client of wasting their time.  

[pubic_assistance]

1 hour ago, rojjodc said:

I am a little intrigued by what this means or the intent for providers who chose this for their sexual orientation?  What could it possibly mean?

Typically these are guys who are not fully "out" as gay or bisexual to their friends and family. They worry more about being discovered being "gay" then they are about being discovered to being an escort.

[+ azdr0710]

so why don't you "ask" them?!.......it is hoped that they will be forthright about their reason for listing that way and we all know there are many levels of "sexuality".......admittedly, their reason may also be a bit more devious if they just want to see if the two of you are a match (client screening??)

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

7 hours ago, rojjodc said:

What could it possibly mean? 

7 hours ago, KensingtonHomo said:

I actually find all the very clearly GAY guys listing themselves as "bisexual" to be annoying. 

 

5 hours ago, azdr0710 said:

so why don't you "ask" them?!....... we all know there are many levels of "sexuality"

@azdr0710is spot on!  With all of the GBL+ categories out there, one should be aware that not everyone fits in the same pigeonholed identity of "gay" like one is used to in his small social circle (probably a result of colonialism, as all bad things are 😆).

I'm reminded how the artist Michelangelo self-identified primarily as a sculptor, yet we are forever grateful for his work as a painter inside the Sistine Chapel.  Just like Pope Julius II hired Michelangelo for the project even though his RentMen profile probably said "Ask Me" instead of "Painter", so I too am not going to turn away a sexual artist from performing his masterpiece with me because of a bias that it must be "gay" or nothing

Edited Wednesday at 10:37 PM by Vegas_Millennial
Pronouns

[Mark_fl]

I don't really care about how they tick a box. As long as they are willing do do what I want and act like they're into it, why should I care. I'm sure most gay guys are going through the motions for the $ anyway. It's a show, and if they're good actors, its OK by me.

Edited Wednesday at 07:50 PM by Mark_fl

[+ Jamie21]

If clients want to think of me as straight that’s fine, I can be straight and talk about sports and shake hands after we’ve fucked. If they want me to be bi that’s also fine, I can fuck their wife while sucking their cock. And if they want me to be gay that’s good too, I can discuss the latest Madonna album and the necessity for good mood lighting as I ride their cock. 

It reminds me of the Groucho Marx quote on principles. I’ll adapt it to: 

‘This is my sexual orientation. If you don’t like it I have other sexual orientations’…

 

[Charlington]

8 hours ago, pubic_assistance said:

Typically these are guys who are not fully "out" as gay or bisexual to their friends and family. They worry more about being discovered being "gay" then they are about being discovered to being an escort.

I don’t see how this is logical. Why would someone escort if they are in the closet and not out to their families? Even if they don’t post face pictures, they would still risk being outed eventually. I know there are many straight escorts who are gay for pay. But I think it would be rare for a gay escort to be in the closet.

Edited yesterday at 01:11 AM by Charlington

[la_connor]

23 minutes ago, Charlington said:

I don’t see how this is logical. Why would someone escort if they are in the closet and not out to their families? Even if they don’t post face pictures, they would still risk being outed eventually. I know there are many straight escorts who are gay for pay. But I think it would be rare for a gay escort to be in the closet.

Fear, stigma, and shame ARE the logic of the closet.  

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

31 minutes ago, Charlington said:

I don’t see how this is logical. Why would someone escort if they are in the closet and not out to their families? Even if they don’t post face pictures, they would still risk being outed eventually. I know there are many straight escorts who are gay for pay. But I think it would be rare for a gay escort to be in the closet.

For the same reason that some men will fuck another man or let another man blow him, but won't kiss a man and then go home to his wife or girlfriend.  Sex can be just sex, but kissing is intimate.  For some, it's easy to cross the psychological barrier to accept money but hard to cross the psychological barrier that he actually enjoys being with another dude.

[Charlington]

31 minutes ago, Vegas_Millennial said:

For the same reason that some men will fuck another man or let another man blow him, but won't kiss a man and then go home to his wife or girlfriend.  Sex can be just sex, but kissing is intimate.  For some, it's easy to cross the psychological barrier to accept money but hard to cross the psychological barrier that he actually enjoys being with another dude.

Yes I understand gay for pay escorts exist. But, the original question was why do some escorts put “ask me” for their orientation. And @pubic_assistance said, because they are most likely in the closet. So I was confused about why would someone escort on rentmen, show face pictures online, (who is not straight or gay for pay), try to hide their sexual orientation. If someone is gay and doesn’t want anyone to know, the last thing they should be doing is advertising on rentmen as an escort. 

[Heart It Deep]

11 hours ago, BenjaminNYC said:

I am always confused by profiles which have "Ask Me" for sexual orientation or position.  I've found many providers get annoyed when a potential client does indeed ask them, and accuses the potential client of wasting their time.  

It's highly suspicious.  I wish there was an option that just said "gay for pay"  Because if they can get hard and perform, I don't care... as long as they make me feel like a million bucks.

[TJMS]

Let's get real. Until a year ago, I would have said I was heterosexual. Now that I have enjoyed making love to beautiful men, I would say I am bi-sexual. No totally straight man would engage in having sex with other men, except under gunpoint. Perhaps there are some here who would get their rocks off pretending a "straight" man is kissing, or  having oral or anal sex with them, but that guy is just a paid actor.

[Decatur Guy]

In the end, it's just another thing you have to ask. I don't mind asking as long at they don't complain about getting so many questions. 

[+ KensingtonHomo]

54 minutes ago, TJMS said:

No totally straight man would engage in having sex with other men, except under gunpoint.

I wouldn't be so sure. Heterosexuality is an identity, not something innate. Straight men engage in sex with other men when women aren't available ALL THE TIME. In prison. In the military. At boarding school. The first guy I ever had sex with was my best friend. We were teenagers. He has never been with another man. In our 20s, I asked him why he did it. He said he was curious and he loved me so he trusted us to have that experience. And, while he's married to a great woman and they have kids, we're still dear friends many years later. And I'm grateful because so many men, gay or bi or pan, have their first experience with someone they don't know well. 

[jeezifonly]

The possibility that a provider might be straight is enough for some clients to be willing to shuck out a bit more, just for the thrill of seducing the naïf 

[muscmtl]

"Ask me", in any category is annoying as fuck

[Peter Eater]

9 hours ago, KensingtonHomo said:

, I asked him why he did it. He said he was curious and he loved me so he trusted us to have that experience.

In other words, your friend is “not a totally straight man,” as TJMS put it. 

[TJMS]

By the way, I do believe there is a continuum and especially in the teen years there is experimentation. And then there is situational homosexuality like there is in prison. However, by the time a guy is providing escort services, he needs to be honest about his orientation in his ad. If he was straight, he'd be on a site for women seeking lovers.

[Nue2thegame]

12 hours ago, TJMS said:

Let's get real. Until a year ago, I would have said I was heterosexual. Now that I have enjoyed making love to beautiful men, I would say I am bi-sexual. No totally straight man would engage in having sex with other men, except under gunpoint. Perhaps there are some here who would get their rocks off pretending a "straight" man is kissing, or  having oral or anal sex with them, but that guy is just a paid actor.

I could say the same. Saturday I was gay, today I’m straight, not sure what my orientation will be tomorrow. If you and  I can transition from heterosexual to bisexual, who is to say we can’t go back. I’m beginning to understand what “Ask me” means. Labels are sometimes not helpful. And whether I’m seeing a very good “paid actor “ or someone who is genuinely into the moment doesn’t much matter to me. 

Edited 16 hours ago by Nue2thegame

[TJMS]

Interesting take. I ask every provider if they have had sex with a woman, and to a man they said no. Now some could be lying, but I have gotten to know a couple of them very well and at least these guys are telling the truth. They live the gay life.

[jackcali]

18 hours ago, Jamie21 said:

If clients want to think of me as straight that’s fine, I can be straight and talk about sports and shake hands after we’ve fucked. If they want me to be bi that’s also fine, I can fuck their wife while sucking their cock. And if they want me to be gay that’s good too, I can discuss the latest Madonna album and the necessity for good mood lighting as I ride their cock. 

I think this is part of the problem with the gay/bi/straight question.  You can see how it could confuse escorts.  After all, they're on a website advertising sexual services for men, so clearly they are open to gay sex regardless of their "true" sexual preference (if such a thing exists).  The rest of the ad tells the reader what kind(s) of gay sex they're willing to have.  I would speculate that some escorts call themselves straight or bi because they're what used to be called straight-acting, meaning (in Jamie's brilliant summary) that they can talk about sports and shake hands after a fuck.  

[+ Jamie21]

1 hour ago, jackcali said:

that they can talk about sports and shake hands after a fuck.  

Thank you! 🙏 

Tbh I find it difficult to shake hands with the client after I’ve fucked him!!! I prefer to give a cuddle but the more ‘straight’ guys get very anxious about intimacy after they’ve cum. So we shake hands and say ‘good day to you’.