Questions about initial contact

[soloyo215]

I searched for this particular topic and didn't find anything specifically about this, which is why I am posting. A little context first.

I went to a conference in Orlando last week, and I managed to talk my employer into letting me stay in the hotel where it happened for an additional night. I planned to treat myself with a provider for that night and return home happy. Went to RM and identified three prospects. I texted them with provider 1 being my preferred of the three.

I sent the exact same initial text to reach out to each one of them (something along the lines of "I saw your profile, liked what I read, I am interested. Are you available?")

Their initial responses were quite different.

• Provider number 1: "Aww thanks!! I'm just not available this weekend. How long are you in town?"
• Provider number 2: "$XXX for one hour $XXX per hour for 2 or more".
• Provider number 3: "Hey there, thanks for checking out my profile. I can be available. What part of town are staying in? Typically my rate is $XXX for the hour. I'm located in the xxxx area."

I went with provider 3 because provider 1 wasn't available, and provider 2 didn't entice me much to further the communication. I dissed provider 2 because it didn't show much people skills.

Questions to providers: Do you craft your initial reply, do you just answer based on the initial text, or combination of both? Do you think that how you reply matters (of course, aside from being polite and basic communication manners) and makes a difference in your business?

Questions to clients: do you care about how the provider replies, or does it impact your decision of going further (of course, based on the premise that it's not rejection or unavailability).

BTW, Provider 3 was excellent. I ended up extending my stay.

 

Edited 7 hours ago by soloyo215

[Mark_fl]

As a client,  100% the reply matters.  When I reach out, I state what I'm looking for, ask them to read my profile and let me know if they think I would be a good client for them.

If I get a response like your #2, that is not the provider for me 

[+ KensingtonHomo]

Yes, a provider's reply definitely makes a difference. Do they reply in a reasonable amount of time? Is their response friendly? Does it answer my initial questions? Of the responses you received, I would agree with how you ranked them. 

[Nue2thegame]

Perhaps my expectations are lower but Response # 2 seems to be the norm for me. My initial message is generic, non-specific. Most providers seem to be very guarded in their initial responses and I have not found that to be consistently predictive of what they’re really like. 

[SecretProvider]

Clients that do this are really fucking annoying and it's a BIG reason why you get labeled with the 'time waster' tag. 

We get 'hey I like you are you available text'. we reply back with 'yeah I can be, what part of town are you in my rate is *insert standard rate* etc etc' then silence from the client, or even better 'great, let me get back to you'. 

Because we might be preference number 3 or 4 or 5 and they are waiting to hear back from number preferred provider 1.  

Which then leads to us just putting little effort into the reply sometimes because the volume of messages we are getting from people  only messaging us as they just want us to  'audition'.  The volume of people messaging providers for these interactions ONLY while they jerk off looking at our pics and imagining what it would be like. the text messaging back and forth completely satisfies them is ASTOUNDING. It's vampirish and exhausting. I assume every single person that reaches out is one of these people until they prove me otherwise. And even though you ARE hiring, reaching out to three people adds to it. 

There are other reasons for a quick short response - it could also be a quick reply because we are already talking to someone else, we are at the gym, on the subway, on a airplane, in the library, sitting at a barber chair, eating at a restaurant: we are not sitting at an office desk when we are fielding enquiries. 

I get that sometimes waiting for a reply can be frustrating, especially when you are horny and excited. I wish clients would keep this in mind when reaching out.

I also get that it goes both ways - I get really fucking annoyed with short messages like 'rates? available?' and giving full replies 'yes I am available, how are you? when are you looking for?' to then only get one word reply back.  but that happens A LOT. People treat Rentmen conversations a lot like grindr in terms of communications styles.

It's hard not to get offended sometimes when you are not getting back what you are putting out. I'm with you on this! 

 

To answer your question - 

1 hour ago, soloyo215 said:

Do you craft your initial reply, do you just answer based on the initial text, or combination of both?

I have a standard reply that I edit around the initial text. 

1 hour ago, soloyo215 said:

Do you think that how you reply matters (of course, aside from being polite and basic communication manners) and makes a difference in your business?

I think it matters and I always try to be professional.

But there is a line of giving a lot of myself out there (FOR FREE)  for people who are already talking advantage of it, people who are messaging multiple people that are not THAT interested in me - which can be really draining. Versus holding back and protecting myself and mental health from these interactions so I can be my BEST self when I do show up for bookings. It's a tough balance that we don't always get right but try to. 

 

 

[Mark_fl]

28 minutes ago, SecretProvider said:

Clients that do this are really fucking annoying and it's a BIG reason why you get labeled with the 'time waster' tag. 

Which then leads to us just putting little effort into the reply sometimes because the volume of messages we are getting from people  only messaging us as they just want us to  'audition'.  The volume of people messaging providers for these interactions ONLY while they jerk off looking at our pics and imagining what it would be like. the text messaging back and forth completely satisfies them is ASTOUNDING. It's vampirish and exhausting. I assume every single person that reaches out is one of these people until they prove me otherwise. 

I realize you don't care, but this assumption is offensive. I have no interest in getting off via conversations in text or on the phone. My interactions are a means to an in-person end...with the right providor. You've made this accusation before, and your contempt for your clients is evident. I can see why you insist on a deposit in advance.

Edited 5 hours ago by Mark_fl

[SecretProvider]

8 minutes ago, Mark_fl said:

I realize you don't care, but this assumption is offensive. I have no interest in getting off via conversations in text or on the phone.

i guess you should have finished that whole paragraph were I said   "And even though you ARE hiring, reaching out to three people adds to it." While you YOU are hiring, keep in mind there are maybe 50 people who have reached out that are NOT.   I never said that this is about people who DO hire. I actually explicitly said otherwise. 

9 minutes ago, Mark_fl said:

You've made this accusation before, and your contempt for your clients is evident.

Wrong again. I love my clients, I have great relationships with them. I have contempt for the people who jerk us around for pleasure. wasting our time and treating us like shit. 

11 minutes ago, Mark_fl said:

I can see why you insist on a deposit in advance.

when you have travelled to hotels and sat in the lobby for 20 minutes to be greeted by no one countless times, you also would be doing this. How many times a day do you think we should do this?  I genuinely want to know.  How long should I talk to someone on the phone while they are masturbating? 

 

Once again - if you do not do this - I am not talking about YOU personally so I am not sure why you are personally offended. Just explaining why we respond the way we do, which was the question asked. You just have no idea of the amount on administrative work we do dealing with this.  Next time you are with a provider (assuming you actually do hire) ask them in person.

I probably receive 6 phone calls a day with people masturbating on the end of the line, even though my profile clearly states 'please text'.  God knows how many are doing it via text. 

 

 

 

 

 

10 minutes ago, Mark_fl said:

 

[Mark_fl]

Im personally offended because you flat-out said I've been lumped with a disgusting group until I prove otherwise. 

That you assume that of EVERYONE is contempt. If people can't follow your instructions,  you dont owe them a response, its up to you. And keeping you waiting in a lobby is also unacceptable.  

Personally, I think a phone call is more for the comfort of the provider than for me. I have seen your pictures and read reviews. And if somone has been reviewed here as well, we know even more about you.

If you think that when I have a normal conversation getting comfortable with each other, Im looking at your pictures masturbating, we are definitely not a good match. 

But don't fool yourself. Your assumptions are disrespectful and prejudiced.

[SecretProvider]

23 minutes ago, Mark_fl said:

I realize you don't care, but this assumption is offensive.

Imagine going to a bar, ordering a drink and they say 'sure we just need your card to start a tab' and you reply 'I wont run out, I always pay my tab. that offends me. just trust me that I will pay at the end.'  The bartender replies - "well I am sure YOU don't run out, but some people do, so we have to get cards to start tabs"  and you reply "I am so offended that you think I am one of those people who run out on tabs. Other bars just trust me." 

This is what you sound like right now. 

[pubic_assistance]

1 hour ago, SecretProvider said:

We get 'hey I like you are you available text'. we reply back with 'yeah I can be, what part of town are you in my rate is *****(insert standard rate) etc etc' then silence from the client...

Which means: "you have to be kidding with that rate".

[+ Jamie21]

3 hours ago, soloyo215 said:

Questions to providers: Do you craft your initial reply, do you just answer based on the initial text, or combination of both? Do you think that how you reply matters (of course, aside from being polite and basic communication manners) and makes a difference in your business?

Yes, I have a standard reply and adapt it to fit their questions. It definitely matters how I reply because I want to give them a good impression that I’m reliable and professional. Some clients just ask ‘hey I saw your ad’ or even worse ‘hey’… I don’t bother to send much of a reply. Those guys are usually not serious. I’m amazed at the number of guys who just go quiet after I’ve replied: them: ‘Hey’, me ‘Hello’, them……nothing. What are these guys doing? Checking my number is real? Does a reply freak them out? Or those who ask about a date & time, I reply with a ‘yes I can do that’…and then I hear nothing back. What’s that about? 

Edited 4 hours ago by Jamie21

[Mark_fl]

26 minutes ago, SecretProvider said:

Imagine going to a bar, ordering a drink  "I am so offended that you think I am one of those people who run out on tabs. Other bars just trust me." 

This is what you sound like right now. 

Um..no. Not at all the same. But nice try. The apt comparison is getting a security deposit from everyone for damage, because guys who have come in before trashed the place, and until you can prove something you can't, Ill take one from you as well.

And assuming everyone who comes in will trash the place until they prove otherwise is a perfect example of contempt.

[Simon Suraci]

I typically craft my initial reply to address everything in the client’s initial text that I can answer. I usually start by pasting a stock response and then modifying to personalize, answering anything else the client brought up. How we reply definitely matters and I believe makes a difference in my business.

I try to answer the what, where, when, and how much questions so the client has all the basic information to make a decision. I also make an effort to be friendly, but this doesn’t always translate easily in text form. Tone varies, but I avoid mirroring the gruff, sometimes rude messages I receive. I try not to take it personally.

By putting in a lot of effort responding thoughtfully to tons of messages that never go anywhere, I pick up the good clients along the way and keep them as reliable regulars requiring less maintenance. The bad ones drop off once they make themselves known. It takes work up front, including lots of annoying exchanges and dealing with rude people. However, I will never win those good clients over if I just reply with a rate. It’s like mining for gold. Lots of long, patient sediment sifting. I can’t complain to the gold flecks about all the dirt I had to pan out to find them. Every once in a while I even find a nugget.

It’s work doing the work, but it’s also work getting the work. When you do enough of both, your schedule fills up and you reap the rewards. The strategy I like best is to make yourself so busy with good regulars that you don’t have to deal with the bad apples. They can’t occupy space in your schedule or your mind! It takes years of patience to get there.

People on these forums are, on average, better clients than who we deal with on a daily basis. Anyone spending time asking questions about the best way to craft a message to a provider is going to be levels of magnitude better to work with than the guys we sometimes complain about.

Providers mention the rude, unserious, flaky, or people outright taking advantage of us all the time, but most of you here are not those people. It’s unfortunate you have to be the recipients of so much disdain when you represent fewer of the reasons for us feeling our frustrations. You are here reading and listening when the people that most need to hear it would never take the time nor give the bandwidth to hear it out, much less take it to heart.

The times I post about bad actor clients I relent later, thinking this is the wrong audience. With few exceptions, my COM clients are great men. I’m sorry you guys have to bear the brunt of so many providers venting about things a lot of you here you either don’t do, or correct when you learn from collective wisdom here how to better conduct yourselves. Thank you for being the best clients.

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

4 hours ago, soloyo215 said:

Went to RM and identified three prospects. I texted them with provider 1 being my preferred of the three.

I won't text multiple providers simultaneously unless I plan on hiring all of them for different nights of my trip. 

Instead, I text one provider then wait at least 4 hours for a response before texting a 2nd provider.

I don't want to start out by wasting at least 2 providers' time (in this case above) knowing I'm only going to hire at most 1 out of 3 of the men I messaged.

4 hours ago, soloyo215 said:

Questions to clients: do you care about how the provider replies, or does it impact your decision of going further (of course, based on the premise that it's not rejection or unavailability).

Because I try to only reach out to one provider at a time, I am able to engage or pass on a provider based solely on his rate and availability in his response.

Edited 3 hours ago by Vegas_Millennial

[StarQualityLuke]

Well, it is a business and we should all conduct ourselves as such, but some do not. 

I always say professionalism goes a long way. 

I would say, trust your gut on the 3 and pick the one that you said you felt more compelled to go towards. 

[SecretProvider]

1 hour ago, pubic_assistance said:

Which means: "you have to be kidding with that rate".

Yeah it could be, and I expected that reply. Just to clarify my rate is 300. Which is then reduced for longer sessions. Not one of those guys who is charging 500 for an hour. 

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

4 hours ago, soloyo215 said:

I searched for this particular topic and didn't find anything specifically about this...

Here's a discussion on reasonable length of time to wait before reaching out to a second or third provider: 

 

 

[SecretProvider]

1 hour ago, Mark_fl said:

Um..no. Not at all the same. But nice try. The apt comparison is getting a security deposit from everyone for damage, because guys who have come in before trashed the place, and until you can prove something you can't, Ill take one from you as well.

And assuming everyone who comes in will trash the place until they prove otherwise is a perfect example of contempt.

You are also highjacking this thread about another comment but I will play along - 

OK - Next time you stay at  hotel tell them you are offended about having to pay a security deposit, because you have never trashed a room and how dare they assume that you would! Tell them you have chosen the hotel because you liked the pics, read the reviews and friends have confirmed it is a great place and you are offended they are assuming you would cause damage. You getting offended because OTHER people are not doing the right thing is .....wild.  

Tell me: How many times do you think people have contacted me and jerked off when they are talking on the phone? How many times do you think this happened to us each day? How many times do you think these people have sent perfectly normal messages first? Now how many times do you think people have done this before a provider enforces a 'no calls' policy? Why else do you think we would do it other than to protect ourselves? 

[+ KensingtonHomo]

27 minutes ago, SecretProvider said:

Clients that do this are really fucking annoying and it's a BIG reason why you get labeled with the 'time waster' tag. 

We get 'hey I like you are you available text'. we reply back with 'yeah I can be, what part of town are you in my rate is *insert standard rate* etc etc' then silence from the client, or even better 'great, let me get back to you'. 

Because we might be preference number 3 or 4 or 5 and they are waiting to hear back from number preferred provider 1.  

As an initial response to @soloyo215 query, this is a LOT. I'm the first to leap to providers' defense, but this and the rest of your response read as entitled and out of touch. Nearly every person who has a customer-facing job - especially one where you're a solo practitioner (hairdressers, make-up artists, realtors, salespeople) deals with some unserious inquiries. If I'm looking to rent an apartment or book a massage, I may reach out to a few providers to see who fits my schedule and budget. That is not wasting your time. That is an initial inquiry to see if it's worth moving ahead. 

Now, I rarely reach out to a provider looking for an appointment on the same day. I'm generally planning several days, sometimes a couple of weeks in advance. And often providers don't want to commit that far in advance. I'm also not masturbating to their pics at any point. As someone who also texts people and fields inquiries at times, I also have standard replies. It would take me under 20 seconds to copy a standard reply from my Notes app to iMessage. So, if you receive five inquiries in a day, you're spending 2-3 minutes total replying to those initial texts. That's not a lot of time to vet clients when you're charging $400 to $500/hour. 

 

[SecretProvider]

1 minute ago, KensingtonHomo said:

As an initial response to @soloyo215 query, this is a LOT. I'm the first to leap to providers' defense, but this and the rest of your response read as entitled and out of touch. 

 As someone who also texts people and fields inquiries at times, I also have standard replies. It would take me under 20 seconds to copy a standard reply from my Notes app to iMessage. So, if you receive five inquiries in a day, you're spending 2-3 minutes total replying to those initial texts. That's not a lot of time to vet clients when you're charging $400 to $500/hour. 

 

And I can totally understand why you feel this way if you think we are only spending 2-3 minutes a day replying to these texts. I *could* argue that assuming this is pretty condescending and out of touch also. It essentially reads that we should just say thank you to the people who are taking advantage of us and allow them  to waste our time for sexual pleasure. Although your interactions may be simple -  I can promise you that is not the case in terms of both the volume of enquires, and time spent with administrative work it takes to deal with them.  

Sometimes I am guilty of being exasperated far the 20th enquiry of one day that has asked a million questions all available on my profile to read and just replying with shortened response. They haven't bothered to read the info which means they are either contacting a lot of providers or they are just not that serious. 

You only get prank called so many times before you install caller ID and not answer private numbers. That doesn't mean every person who calls is a prankster - but you do have you guard up. You would go crazy otherwise.  I'm not here to provoke - just explaining and answering the question truthfully. Sometimes we get exhausted by it. We are human. 

[SecretProvider]

*Sometimes I am guilty of being exasperated by the 20th enquiry in one day that has asked a million questions, the answers of which are all available on my profile to read and so I am just replying with shortened response.

[+ KensingtonHomo]

7 minutes ago, SecretProvider said:

I can totally understand why you feel this way if you think we are only spending 2-3 minutes a day replying to these texts. I *could* argue that assuming this is pretty condescending and out of touch also. It essentially reads that we should just say thank you to the people who are taking advantage of us and allow them  to waste our time for sexual pleasure. Although your interactions may be simple -  I can promise you that is not the case in terms of both the volume of enquires, and time spent with administrative work it takes to deal with them.  

Sorry, this just doesn't comport with the providers on here, not anonymously, say. Nor does it reflect what the providers I see regularly say about their business. Are we expected to believe you get hundreds of texts a day? That you spend hours responding to them? I feel like you're overstating your case, and you came in real hot on a thread where no one did anything wrong. 

That said, I don't think anyone should waste anyone's time, nor do I think (honestly, it wouldn't even occur to me) that guys should be texting or calling a provider to get their jollies off. That's disrespectful and also just fucking weird. Like go on Pornhub, bro. 

[+ JamesB]

For some reason, I can’t shake the feeling that “SecretProvider” and Jarrod are twin brothers who got separated at birth. LOL!