40 soon

[Tigre_Bigotes]

I'm coming up on 40--still got a few years, but the body is changing. I'm getting white/grey hairs (in my chest, anyway. My head is always shaved). I'm fully in the habit of getting up 2-3 times to pee at night.

My question is, for the gentlemen 50, 60+ here in these forums, what advice would you give to a late-30-something who wants to keep his edge and vitality?

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

20 hours ago, Tigre_Bigotes said:

My question is, for the gentlemen 50, 60+ here in these forums, what advice would you give to a late-30-something who wants to keep his edge and vitality?

My philosophy: 

You're only as old as the men you sleep with.  🥳 

 

My advice:

Embrace each stage of your life.  Own being a Daddy.  I tell others my white hair on my chest and beard are not gray hairs, but cum stains! 😜 

Nothing looks more silly than a middle aged man referring to himself as a "boi".  Your body is now a grown man, so behaving like a grown man is sexy.

Edited Thursday at 03:57 PM by Vegas_Millennial

[Tigre_Bigotes]

26 minutes ago, Vegas_Millennial said:

My philosophy: 

You're only as old as the men you sleep with.

 

My advice:

Embrace each stage of your life.  Own being a Daddy.  I tell others my white hair on my chest and beard are not gray hairs, but cum stains! 😜 

Nothing looks more silly than a middle aged man referring to himself as a "boi".  Your body is now a grown man, so behaving like a grown man is sexy.

Love it!

One of my favorite authors frequently says, "Nobody wants to be the oldest guy at the frat party. At 30, it's sad. At 40, it's creepy."

[mtaabq]

6 hours ago, Tigre_Bigotes said:

I'm fully in the habit of getting up 2-3 times to pee at night.

I’m no doctor but this concerns me a little. If you’re not yet 40 that seems too young to be getting up 2-3 times a night to pee. Prior to 40 - hell, prior to 50 - I was still sleeping through the night without nocturnal bathroom visits. Sure, 8 hours dry became 7, which later became 6. Now at 61, 2 times to pee is normal, 3 if I had iced tea at dinner. “Edge and Vitality?” Pshaw. Fund your retirement, keep (or get) your credit card debt under control, get 6 months of expenses in reserve, make sure you have at least 1 good suit in your closet (don’t forget a white dress shirt, conservative tie and lace-up dress shoes) and f*ck (or at least cum) whenever you get the chance. But talk to your primary care physician about all those nighttime bathroom visits. At your age that doesn’t add up. 

[Nightowl]

Listen to and take care of your body, never stop exercising, keep mentally active, don’t succumb to “I’m too old for that” thinking, stay sexually active (even if it’s just you and your hand), watch your weight, get off the couch, welcome the gray hairs (I love mine, particularly the way the ones on my arms and chest catch the sunlight), keep trying new things, don’t wear skinny jeans….I’ve found that, when you start to feel old, you become old.  I have refused to do that.

[DenverDad]

Stop or cut back on drinking, stop smoking, exercise, improve your diet (cut out fast food, ultra processed food, soft drinks - add more fiber).  If you have good insurance, start getting your blood glucose levels and cholesterol checked.  Make sure you are up to date on ALL you vaccinations including HPV.  Make sure you are getting good night sleep.  Small changes can make a big difference.

I turned 60 earlier this year and finally getting type 2 diabetes under control, improving my blood pressure and cardiac functions by dropping weight and improving my diet.  Wish I had done this 30 year ago.

 

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

My grandparents are alive and well and active in their 100s.  They smoke, drink, eat ultra processed foods, and take about 40 pills a day each.  But, they are active and loving life.  The secret:  the luck of good genes. 

Remember, even diarrhea is hereditary (because it runs in your jeans 👖).

[Luv2play]

12 hours ago, Nightowl said:

Listen to and take care of your body, never stop exercising, keep mentally active, don’t succumb to “I’m too old for that” thinking, stay sexually active (even if it’s just you and your hand), watch your weight, get off the couch, welcome the gray hairs (I love mine, particularly the way the ones on my arms and chest catch the sunlight), keep trying new things, don’t wear skinny jeans….I’ve found that, when you start to feel old, you become old.  I have refused to do that.

I like and agree with most of your recs but not the one about being too old for that. In my youth I played a lot of sports and continued into middle age. But one by one I started dropping them as I felt I was tempting fate by continuing with ones that carried some risk. 
Like horseback riding ( hunting and competition jumping) downhill skiing, waterskiing and even cross country skiing.  I gave up squash and tennis also. I also gave up sailing but that was mostly because I sold my boat along with the cottage that went with it. 
Now  at 78 I do mostly walking and swimming. Easy on the joints and still good for cardio and general fitness. 
And of course I have not given up on fucking which keeps me flexible and in good spirits mentally, 

[Johnrom]

You saved the best wisdom for the last line!! 🙌😎😂

[Nightowl]

2 hours ago, Luv2play said:

I like and agree with most of your recs but not the one about being too old for that. In my youth I played a lot of sports and continued into middle age. But one by one I started dropping them as I felt I was tempting fate by continuing with ones that carried some risk. 

Good point.  

[Rod Hagen]

Congrats!  I hated turning 40.  50 was a piece of cake compared to it.

Five Pillars of Health:

* Sleep:  8 hours in bed/night, keep your sleep hygiene solid. I've written about it all over this forum. Assuming you keep a consistent bed time, then a Cool room is the next most important intervention for good sleep. Your body sleeps much better cool, no matter how much you "Like" heavy blankets. Banish to the guest room or couch, anything heavy, all quilts or basically anything that takes a duvet, in bed use only light cotton blanket instead. 

Benadryl and Ambien and other Hypnotics don't give you the health benefits of sleep (it's anesthetizing, basically, not actually sleep). Again, keep your bed time consistent that is most important.

* Mental Health 

* Fitness (Zone 2 training 3 x wk, Vo2 Max training 1 x wk, strength and stability training  3 x wk (Stability to include balance and flexibility and for strength concentrate on compound movements). 

Yes, just walking is good for you, but why do the bare minimum?  If when in your nominal decade you'd like to be able to do the centenarian decathlon, it's not what you think, then work a bit harder now.

* Nutrition.  There's no one perfect diet out there.  If you keep to a Mediterranean you get most of what you need, just add protein.  

* Metabolic.  Stick to your RX medications, almost certainly you will get used to them.  Be wary of and light on supplements.

Grip strength and VO2 Max are very solid markers of longevity (Lifespan and Healthspan).  Improve them.

Have fun, be stoic, be happy.

Edited Saturday at 02:08 PM by Rod Hagen

[jeezifonly]

On 9/10/2025 at 11:57 AM, Tigre_Bigotes said:

I'm coming up on 40--still got a few years, but the body is changing. I'm getting white/grey hairs (in my chest, anyway. My head is always shaved). I'm fully in the habit of getting up 2-3 times to pee at night.

My question is, for the gentlemen 50, 60+ here in these forums, what advice would you give to a late-30-something who wants to keep his edge and vitality?

The expectations of edge and vitality at 37, 8, 9 should not be  static.

Exercise, eat well, see your doctors and dentist, hydrate, socialize - all of that will take you far. But understand that a portion of your aging process is genetic, and the 'edge and vitality' you think of now in your 30's might be perfectly realistic for years. But factors outside your control might alter how you define them at some point in the future, so just trust that you'll find a way to always feel (and look) your best as you adapt to the various curveballs thrown at all of us by DNA and living life. 

[CuriousByNature]

On 9/11/2025 at 12:46 PM, Vegas_Millennial said:

My grandparents are alive and well and active in their 100s.  They smoke, drink, eat ultra processed foods, and take about 40 pills a day each.  But, they are active and loving life.  The secret:  the luck of good genes. 

Remember, even diarrhea is hereditary (because it runs in your jeans 👖).

Do you still have all your grandparents?  

[+ purplekow]

I have an opinion which may or may not make you feel better.  I have thought that if I could go back to any age, I would pick 38.  If you have taken care of yourself, you should still have the physical vitality of youth and if you have not, you are still young enough to recapture most of it.  You are mature enough to have thoughtful opinions based on experience and learning.  If you decide to have a family, you are young enough to be the cool older dad and if you decide that you do not want that, you can be the doting uncle or the internationally traveling uncle.  Options are open, but many of them with imperceptibly at first but more obviously soon enough, become less available or viable.  

So I believe the best advice right now is to take a good hard look at your life.  If you are living in fear, it is time to drop it. If you are living in debt, it is time to pay it off and plan for the future.  If you are unhappy with your relationships, it is time to change the relationship or move on.  These are seminal years.  There is no turning back and so you need to plot the best course you can for the rest of your life and then start living that life.  

 

[+ Just Chuck]

At 52 I took first in age group, second in men, and fourth overall in a local 10k race.  I’m 58 now and I run as a middle-of-the-pack fun run guy. Every year the train hard enough to improve performance and train hard enough to get injured levels get a little closer together for me. I’ve given up a few rougher activities.  I don’t race obstacle courses (I loved that sport!) anymore and retired from teaching martial arts when my doctor told me to avoid getting hit in the head after surgery to restore my hearing.  But, I’m hitting the gym and jogging in a five on one off schedule.  

My Korean War veteran uncle still speed walks in local charity 5k events at 93.

You’ll have to adjust how you exercise over the years, but stay as active as you can.