Why do you pay for sex?

[+ Charlie]

Love and marriage may go together like a horse and carriage, but sometimes the horse wants to be unharnessed and frolic with a mare that catches his eye. My partner and I were happily married, but I was nevertheless sexually attracted to a variety of men, though not interested in a romantic relationship with them. We agreed from the start that ours would be an "open" marriage, so both of us had occasional sex with other men when circumstances were suitable. Back then, the commercial open marketplace for gay sex didn't exist, except for street hustlers, who usually were not my type.

As we aged, opportunities for sex with attractive men became very limited. Then one day, I happened to be alone in NYC, and in the Advocate I saw an ad for a sex service. Curious, I went to the address, told the man at the desk what I was in the mood for at that moment, and he directed me to a room to which he would send someone. I waited in the room for about ten minutes, and in walked a guy whom I could never have picked up cruising on my own. We had great sex, then I dressed and went back to the desk out front, and paid. Soon I learned about finding freelance providers on the Internet (I had just bought my first desktop computer), and from then on my only sex outside marriage was with the professionals, because it was quick and easy, with no danger of becoming emotionally involved with someone just because we had sex.

[+ SirBillybob]

23 minutes ago, MikeBiDude said:

Great explanation! Reminder, new members can’t edit/delete their posts for a period of time. Self protects against some types of spammers.

Oh didn’t know that.👍

[Rudynate]

I fetishize hiring.  The phenomenon itself to me is sexy.   Nothing degrading or desperate about it to me. The very first time I thought about it, I was in my late 20's, and I had a fantasy of hiring Gordon Grant.   I didn't just want to have sex with him, I wanted to pay him for sex.  A friend of mine who had connections in the porn world in San Francisco told me he could probably get  me a date with Gordon Grant and it wouldn't cost anything, but I never followed up on it.  Gordon Grant died before I could realize my fantasy.  Paying for it is just very sexy to me.    You show up, or he shows up, nothing is said about money.  It's just like two guys on a date, but the money is there and he takes it without a word.  Totally hot!!

Edited 3 hours ago by Rudynate
Typo

[Muscleking]

For me I like the no strings attachment aspect of hiring, also usually the hottest lads are usually escorts so there’s that too..but I enjoy being able to be very clear about my fantasy without feeling judged and someone doing their best to fulfill it..

[+ SundayZip]

@KevinKeepsItReal, I'm sorry that people criticized your initial post. When I have face-to-face interactions with people, I typically ask about them before reciting stuff about myself. It seems that here, some expect you to post about yourself before asking about others (not sure I agree with that). But whatever, I appreciate the question and here are my top reasons for hiring:   

I want to have sex with men who would not otherwise have sex with me. 
I can let go sexually in a way that I would not with a man I casually date. 
I can let go of my insecurities about meeting expectations regarding sexual performance.
 

[Alchemy]

< So I had my first real sexual experience at the age of 41 with an escort. >

 

Add 22 years to that number. I came out last year at 63 (was happily married, then widowed) and had my first gay sexual experience at that age (I'm not counting fumbling in backyard tents as a 12-year-old). I couldn't imagine starting my dating life as a 63-year-old gay virgin. So I hired an escort. He was brilliantly kind, gorgeous, generous and patient. I'm now hooking up regularly with a variety of guys through Grindr, Tinder, etc., and also have a couple FWB. I still see that first escort at least once a month and, occasionally, a new escort when traveling. Convenience, attractiveness, safety, lack of pressure and judgment -- those are among the other reasons. Also, having been with the same guy on nearly 40 "dates," we've developed a familiarity that is comforting to me. And we both know it's not going to become something more. It's worked out beautifully for me.