Am I too old?

[soloyo215]

On 12/8/2024 at 10:47 PM, White Daddy Top said:

Basically, the headline. I'm 60 and wondering if I'm just too old to be hiring. I do so irregularly, but have noticed that when I provide my stats, prices are high, and the encounters have become less intimate. Maybe that's just the general trend, but am I looking at a time soon (or has it already passed) when I just won't find anyone who will let me hire them?

Difficult to tell if it's age related in the physical sense, or if it's related to the fact that our needs change as we age, or if it's that after some time things can become redundant. Aside from the physical changes that our bodies go through as we age, have you noticed any change in your views, interests, what matters to you? Maturing does contribute to how we approach and or perceive things and events.

Also there's the type of guys that you might feel drawn to. I've known so many of use that love "the forbidden fruit", which sometimes turns to be not as satisfying as we picture it in our minds. Some providers are excellent at making the client feel at ease. It might be a matter of being more picky when looking for a provider. There are definitely providers who seem to think that being old and wanting sex is reason for them to up their prices, but there are some who are not of that mindset.

I don't think that not hiring anymore for being 60 is a solution to anything. Maybe taking a break for self care is a healthy thing to do, but just not hiring in that manner doesn't sound healthy.

Just my thoughts, not law.

[pubic_assistance]

21 hours ago, myophile said:

Thank GOD for hot guys with daddy issues!

Indeed.

I remember being out with a fellow once on a business dinner. He was in his 60s. Me in my 30s. The waiter at the restaurant was adorable...and we were both flirting with him. When the check came he handed it to my older friend, and smiled. He had written his phone number on the check. I am thinking to myself HOW did the DO that ??

Not to say my dinner companion wasn't a handsome gentleman ...but I was half his age and nearly at my peak years, looks wise. The waiter definitely PREFERRED older men. (Doubltlessly older RICH men as we were dining at a VERY nice place on upper Madison) in New York.

That moment stuck in my mind and as I enter my mid 50s, I am comforted to know there's always a few guys around who prefer "daddy".

[SirBillybob]

49 minutes ago, pubic_assistance said:

… comforted to know there's always a few guys around who prefer "daddy".

As long as the enthusiasm is tempered.

[+ KensingtonHomo]

12 hours ago, Luv2play said:

I don’t intend to take this thread off topic and certainly not intended to be political but did y’all see pictures of RFKJr the other day shirt less and on a trapeze like contraption with another much younger man doing acrobatics? 
 

Just an astounding physique for a 60 something yo man. The guy does some serious gym routines. 

RFK Jr. is undoubtably on a cocktail of testosterone, HGH, and who knows what else. No 71 year old can look like that without pharmaceutical assistance. Plus he's insane. 

[Km411]

Mid-50s here. Didn’t even start seeing men until 2 yrs ago. Have seen many providers and random hookups of all ages and not one bad experience. With providers age has never been an issue (at least to my knowledge). True that on the apps many I’m attracted to have age limits, so I don’t contact them. But also true that many either don’t care or are attracted to age. One hookup was 36 years younger and I put a smile on his face for sure. And I have a good FWB 26 yrs my junior. And honestly I’m just average.

I do see someone else in the mirror these days, but that’s a good thing; means I still feel young.

Just go for it; nothing to lose.

[myophile]

On 12/10/2024 at 4:32 AM, KensingtonHomo said:

RFK Jr. is undoubtably on a cocktail of testosterone, HGH, and who knows what else. No 71 year old can look like that without pharmaceutical assistance. Plus he's insane. 

Yes. A tiny further digression from the topic here, just to re-iterate something we certainly all know, that good looks (tight abs, handsome face, nice smile, big dick …) do NOT equal intelligence, competence, moral compass, emotional stability, or ANYTHING else we look for in a friend, a lover, a colleague,

Edited by moderator to remove political content.

[Vin Marco]

14 hours ago, dcguy20 said:

I saw a provider earlier in the year, and as I was getting ready to leave he said, "so, are you retired?" (I had just turned 60).  I left feeling completely deflated, and don't respond to his texts when he let's me know he's in town. I didn't hire anyone for several months after that. 

Did you consider the source? It may have come from an inexperienced  tone deaf place, a socially awkward/inept individual, someone fumbling to make small talk... I'm not certain being asked if you're retired is a bad thing... something about the interaction could have led him to believe you lead a leisurely lifestyle that allows you to do whatever you want whenever you want in which case I would find that as a huge compliment.  There are so many other questions that he could have asked that would be more related to "old age" than retirement. Let's not forget that if someone joins the military before or after college ( 18-22 ) and completes  20 years of service ,  they are eligible for for retirement as young as 38 years old 🥳 ( 38 to early 40's )

I know it's easier said than done and  as time goes on, I seriously consider the source(s) before I even react or allow something or someone to offend me.  

Glad you got back on the horse though 🫂

[+ Charlie]

Yes, I think that was an over-reaction to the "So, are you retired?" question. I showed up as a new face in Palm Springs at 61, and many people--not just escorts--asked me that question, because it was natural and not a comment on my looks. In fact, I wouldn't have moved to PS if I hadn't just retired. The poster had probably said other things during the meeting which might have led the provider to ask the question just to make small talk.

[rvwnsd]

I'm 60 and definitely don't think I'm too old to be hiring. When a guy quotes a rate that I find too high I move on. I don't internalize and assume the quoted rate is a function of my age. Rather, it is a function of the guy's business model. It is up to me to determine whether I choose to pay the rate or not. 

Regarding a lack of intimacy, what do you mean by "intimacy?" For me, sex and intimacy are different things. You can have one without the other. Having both, for me, usually takes time to develop. That was as true at 30 as it is at 60.

[marylander1940]

13 hours ago, jeezifonly said:

Age is just a number.

So is an hourly rate.

If a provider wants to limit clientele by age, they can make it up in volume with 30yr-olds I guess. 

Without a doubt but lately with so much "Grindr fatigue" many young in shape guys guys are becoming clients in order to avoid wasting time.

 

[+ ApexNomad]

41 minutes ago, rvwnsd said:

I'm 60 and definitely don't think I'm too old to be hiring. When a guy quotes a rate that I find too high I move on. I don't internalize and assume the quoted rate is a function of my age. Rather, it is a function of the guy's business model. It is up to me to determine whether I choose to pay the rate or not. 

Regarding a lack of intimacy, what do you mean by "intimacy?" For me, sex and intimacy are different things. You can have one without the other. Having both, for me, usually takes time to develop. That was as true at 30 as it is at 60.

Agreed. For some, hiring an escort might address immediate physical needs, but over time, regular encounters can allow intimacy to develop. Repeated experiences with the same person can create a sense of familiarity, trust, and emotional connection—elements that I believe form the foundation of intimacy. This is why some people may find it difficult—understandably so—to separate the transactional nature of the arrangement from the emotional bond that emerges. After all, you are experiencing the very best of the provider every time you meet.

Intimacy isn’t just about the physical act; it’s about feeling seen, understood, and valued. Providers excel at creating these moments, offering undivided attention and emotional presence.  When these interactions are consistent, it’s natural for feelings of closeness to grow, blurring the lines between a paid service and a deeper emotional connection.

[+ purplekow]

22 hours ago, BenjaminNicholas said:

I'm imagining your house looking like someone should be sitting shiva with all the mirrors covered.

Only mirrors are in the bathroom and I just use the eyes diverted down technique to avoid my image.  I did catch myself today on Zoom and diagnosed myself with Rosacea which puts me the select company of Bozo and Rudolp and of course Karl Malden.  

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

This subject brings to mind the familiar saying "You're only as old as you feel"

Personally, I like to feel 28-year-olds 😈 

[+ purplekow]

2 hours ago, ApexNomad said:

Agreed. For some, hiring an escort might address immediate physical needs, but over time, regular encounters can allow intimacy to develop. Repeated experiences with the same person can create a sense of familiarity, trust, and emotional connection—elements that I believe form the foundation of intimacy. This is why some people may find it difficult—understandably so—to separate the transactional nature of the arrangement from the emotional bond that emerges. After all, you are experiencing the very best of the provider every time you meet.

Intimacy isn’t just about the physical act; it’s about feeling seen, understood, and valued. Providers excel at creating these moments, offering undivided attention and emotional presence.  When these interactions are consistent, it’s natural for feelings of closeness to grow, blurring the lines between a paid service and a deeper emotional connection.

Agree that intimacy and passion are two different things.  Since I have a limited number of escort whom I hire with some regularity, I feel I have gained both intimacy and passion with each of them, some more than others.  As it turns out the man for whom I feel the most passion and have the best sex, is the one with whom  I have the least  intimacy.  Just like other relationships, passion does start to fade even in the professional relationships.  Of the five men I see regularly, I have been seeing them for between 3 years and 15 years varying between 4 and 10 times a year. 

.   I have to admit to an occasional audition escort as well.  

[Boaxxx]

Great question as I feel the same way sometimes. I'm 61 and short but height/weight proportionate. My negative thinking keeps me from reaching out to some providers, both escorts and masseurs, because I think they will not be interested and are tired of older clients. I tend to go with older providers in their 40s or 50s as a hedge against my thinking. That said I've had a couple providers reach out to me after the fact expressing interest in meeting up again. At first I thought they may simply be drumming up business but based on the follow-up experience I began to think that maybe they enjoyed our time together as well.  I'll still remain hesitant with younger providers but I may have to give one or two of them a try.

Also, thanks to all the other guys providing positive feedback. It actually helped me out as well.

[+ DrownedBoy]

3 hours ago, ApexNomad said:

Intimacy isn’t just about the physical act; it’s about feeling seen, understood, and valued. Providers excel at creating these moments, offering undivided attention and emotional presence.  When these interactions are consistent, it’s natural for feelings of closeness to grow, blurring the lines between a paid service and a deeper emotional connection.

Acting and intimacy are also 2 different things.

I know providers can help clients feel good about themselves, but as long as money is involved, it's dangerous to open yourself to intimacy.

It's enough to form a friendly business arrangement. I have a regular I've seen for 8 years, and one main reason is that we both understand that it's a paid encounter that he doesn't find arousing. Nonetheless, he goes out of his way to arouse me. That's why he's still a regular.

[+ KensingtonHomo]

I think many of my fellow hobbyists are overthinking this. I'm middle aged but look about a decade younger than my age. 

In my conversations with providers, those with any real experience are not worried about age at all. Their biggest concerns are respectful interaction, treating them well and - this is frequently stressed- excellent hygiene. 

Chemistry is unpredictable. If I enjoy a provider's company - even just in the greeting and saying goodbye - I am more likely to see them again. And those who enjoy my company (or ours if I'm hiring with my husband), tend to follow up or reach out. 

Is that intimacy? Sometimes. I have a couple of regulars who I care about but as I do my hairdresser or doctor. But perhaps being married and not interested in romance with anyone else, I'm less likely to "fall" for a provider. 

Edited December 10, 2024 by KensingtonHomo

[jmichaeliii]

9 hours ago, KensingtonHomo said:

I think many of my fellow hobbyists are overthinking this. I'm middle aged but look about a decade younger than my age. 

In my conversations with providers, those with any real experience are not worried about age at all. Their biggest concerns are respectful interaction, treating them well and - this is frequently stressed- excellent hygiene. 

Chemistry is unpredictable. If I enjoy a provider's company - even just in the greeting and saying goodbye - I am more likely to see them again. And those who enjoy my company (or ours if I'm hiring with my husband), tend to follow up or reach out. 

Is that intimacy? Sometimes. I have a couple of regulars who I care about but as I do my hairdresser or doctor. But perhaps being married and not interested in romance with anyone else, I'm less likely to "fall" for a provider. 

Your second paragraph echoes exactly what I have been told.

I have 3 guys I see often.  One has always been a hot session, the other two started more timid.

With both of them I started giving them a nice long hug when we would first meet, then maybe a little kiss on the neck and feel how they reacted.  In both cases the response was overwhelmingly positive and things quickly advanced.  In both cases I wasn't really sure until then what the status was.  Both these guys are in their 20s (and very hot) and I am late 50s.

Show up clean, respect them and be nice.  You might get surprised!  I always follow these rules and am almost never disappointed.  It's also a major boost to my own self confidence.

[Vin Marco]

10 hours ago, KensingtonHomo said:

In my conversations with providers, those with any real experience are not worried about age at all. Their biggest concerns are respectful interaction, treating them well and - this is frequently stressed- excellent hygiene. 

Trust and believe this! ☝️

[Simon Suraci]

19 hours ago, Charlie said:

Yes, I think that was an over-reaction to the "So, are you retired?" question.

Sidebar. There are no “overreactions” or “overreacting”. We really should strike these terms from our language. There are simply “reactions”, and “reacting”. The terms using the prefix “over-” frame one person’s opinions about someone else’s reactions as an objective reality. It has an air of: “I know better than you how you should be allowed to feel”. Using “over” dismisses the reacting person for feeling any sort of way that doesn’t agree with the observer’s own opinions. The observer’s opinions are neither superior nor inferior to the “reacting” person.

People have feelings. Feelings are not facts. Neither are opinions. Feelings and opinions are not at all objective. They cannot be “over” and they cannot be “under”. They just are.

The client taking offense to being asked the question “Are you retired?” is simply REACTING. He experienced an emotional response. The escort asking him almost certainly meant no offense by suggesting the client might be retired. I don’t see being retired as something to be ashamed of at any age, and to others’ points, retirees can be in their 30s, 40s or even younger albeit more rarely.

Someone may take this question about working status as a proxy to say: “You look old. I assume you’re well past your working years”, and by extension, “I find you unattractive because I think you’re old.” Of course, the escort didn’t say or intend to convey any of this, and these are just assumptions based on our unfortunate social attitudes and norms. It’s not difficult to see how a client might react the way he did. Cultural pressures make us all self conscious about our age and appearance. It’s even worse among men who are attracted to men. Some off comment suggesting the client is “old” can really hurt. No wonder the client had a reaction. To minimize those feelings by saying “you’re overreacting” is to say “your subjective feelings are invalid.”

Subjective feelings ARE valid. We all experience feelings.

That said, I’ve learned not to ask “Are you retired?” and instead ask “What do you do?” It gives clients the opportunity to share that they are retired (or working) and gives me an opportunity to ask a follow up question like “How, then, do you like to spend your time?”

[+ KensingtonHomo]

6 hours ago, pubic_assistance said:

Thats not a "tiny digression"..it's a political commentary. We aren't supposed to be discussing politics...so I don't want to hear jabs against a politician's beliefs and "moral compass".

 

This is rich from you. You can write endless negative commentary about providers, fellow posters but you draw the line at someone make the most obvious statement about a rich person -

Edited by moderator to remove political reference.

[Cooper]

Administrator’s Message

Gentlemen, When posting a message, keep in mind the rule: No Politics. 

[marylander1940]

14 hours ago, KensingtonHomo said:

 

In my conversations with providers, those with any real experience are not worried about age at all. Their biggest concerns are respectful interaction, treating them well and - this is frequently stressed- excellent hygiene. 

 

In my conversations with providers, they're also not concerned about age but about attitude, chemistry and new clients being HWP. 

I don't think hygiene is a big concerned in North America, but it's not always for granted in Europe, Asia, etc. 

I know an escort who has sensitive nipples and playing with him that way always gets him very horny. You'd be amazed about the number of clients who never even heard about nipple play and are surprised he enjoys that. 

Edited December 11, 2024 by marylander1940

[PileDriver]

oh. At 63 have never been hit on by men as much as now. and by younger men! so much as now...shocks me sometimes when a young 20 something at the pool cruises me relentlessly...but i will take it...deep...my experience is often what younger men desire...have a lot of sexual wisdom to impart on them and also just physical pleasure

[Vin Marco]

22 hours ago, Charlie said:

I showed up as a new face in Palm Springs at 61,

Barely a zygote in Palm Springs Charlie! 😂 🙌🏽 🫂 

Joking aside, I've been visiting/seeing folks in PS since I started and I lived there for 6-7 years and throughout that time I've seen and continue to see physiques on men who are well beyond 60 who look INCREDIBLE and SPECTACULAR. It's a constant reminder that age is just a number!  Those folks I speak of both inspire and motivate me, always have and still do! 
I see a RETIRED physician and microbiologist in the desert who didn't start lifting weights until his late 60's ( probably 68-69 no joke ) who's now in his mid to late 70's who leaves me speechless each time I see him.  I would consider him MUSCULAR and fit! I've seen the difference in his well being, the confidence , the drastic changes in his physique and that makes me VERY happy 😊