How do you feel about providers who use viagra to get hard?

[Jamie21]

5 hours ago, Thique said:

My own experience (outside of hiring) has been that it IS possible to make your partner feel desired / sexy / taken care of / comfortable etc… even if there is not a strong physical attraction. You have to put in more effort - yes - but when I see the other person having a fantastic time because I made them feel like a million bucks, that is a huge turn on for me. It’s cyclical and reciprocal.

This is very insightful. I wouldn’t speak for others but my experience of sex work is that if a client is having a great time because I made them feel good about themselves then it’s a huge turn on for me. That in turn helps the client to feel approved of because I’m turned on and then we are into a nice virtuous circle. In my experience guys want to be approved of and women want to be desired. That’s essentially what you’re doing. If doing that is a turn on for you then sex work is a good vocation. 

I do use viagra (or other similar things) because it’s a kind of reassurance. In this business you can become somewhat desensitised to sex. Viagra helps in that sense. 

 

[+ KensingtonHomo]

It seems to me that @Jamie21 is on the right track. Would a provider I hire necessarily pick me up at a bar? Probably not. One, because I’m not single and approaching a couple can be intimidating. Two, our gay culture prizes youth, unrealistic bodies and toxic masculinity. Since I don’t fit most of those - though I look significantly younger than my age - hiring is much more convenient than wasting time on the apps. 

I’m either far more desirable than the average client or I’ve gotten Oscar-worthy actors as providers. Because most of the providers I’ve encountered do make me feel desired. I’m pretty selective but I’m also nice looking, funny and charismatic. I bring all that and a genuine desire to connect with a provider to our encounters.  

For the most part, if I see a provider more than once, the relationship grows and a desire - if not for my specific ass - but for me as someone they enjoy working with often arises. 

[+ sniper]

12 hours ago, pubic_assistance said:

Considering most providers wouldn't fuck you if you weren't paying them, it's a good assumption that more than a few need some help keeping it up.

That said....no one could possibly know how many as no one is going to announce their performamce limitations.

Wellll....i once inquired as to hiring Jack from Sean Cody when he was active on Rentmen...scheduling didn't work out but he did volunteer he would be getting a shot of Trimix on date X if certain menu options were desired...it seemed refreshingly upfront but he doesn't claim to be other than straight.

[pubic_assistance]

36 minutes ago, sniper said:

he doesn't claim to be other than straight.

In my experience ...guys who have sex with men yet identify ad "straight" are referring to their romantic life, not necessarily their sex life.

I've been with a lot of married men.

Always eager to take it up the ass and swallow a load but never much delving into anything near a romantic encounter like a kiss.

 

[marylander1940]

23 hours ago, newdad said:

How common is it for providers to use that when the client is a bottom?

Most of the time I guess, especially when the clients is not HWP.

Edited January 3 by marylander1940

[+ sniper]

11 hours ago, pubic_assistance said:

In my experience ...guys who have sex with men yet identify ad "straight" are referring to their romantic life, not necessarily their sex life.

I've been with a lot of married men.

Always eager to take it up the ass and swallow a load but never much delving into anything near a romantic encounter like a kiss.

 

Yes outside the paid realm for sure. I just think once you've crossed into doing it for money it's less likely to be about what you are inclined to do. I have approaching zero interest in fucking a woman at all, but if offered enough money I'm pretty sure I'd do it.(Then again, Jack doesn't come across as a great actor and he seemed SUPER into his scene with Daniel...)

I think some of the guys you describe almost get off more on the forbidden/"dirty" aspect of it than the actual guy. The other guy is essentially a masturbatory aid for them. I am not sure if it's an orientation as much as a fetish/kink for those people.

[Thomas_Belgium]

According to Viagra.com:

"Get into the mood. You will not get an erection just by taking Viagra."

So, if a provider takes Viagra he must be aroused somehow I think.

[+ robear]

39 minutes ago, Thomas_Belgium said:

So, if a provider takes Viagra he must be aroused somehow I think.

That is true. Not necessarily for injectables, perhaps. However, I think for men "aroused" is a continuum, not an absolute state. A guy may not be sexually into his partner, but still can be stimulated, especially if he's in the right head space and has a talent for performance.  Vitamin V can help that along.

[Danny-Darko]

1 hour ago, Thomas_Belgium said:

According to Viagra.com:

"Get into the mood. You will not get an erection just by taking Viagra."

So, if a provider takes Viagra he must be aroused somehow I think.

Yes, and for that they use whatever "stimulus" works for them. Porn, private fantasies and more. And the viagra helps since yes they need "incentive" and I'm not dilutional enough to think it's me that they are so attracted to and hot for! Though I have had a few Bi men with "Daddy issues" that actually were into me to my surprise. But without the financial aspect, they would have never pursued me or probably other men and are romantically involved with women. Yet they seek a certain type of affection from a mature man discreetly in private. And of course, I've serviced and been serviced my many men with their eyes closed! They came and so did I and we were both happy. Many won't kiss but will be kissed as long as it's not near their face. Limits are always respected and appreciated. Works for me! 

[rvwnsd]

Regardless how well-built, well-hung, handsome, and/or desirable/attractive a provider is, I have to use ED meds in order to get an erection and have required such since the late 1990's (when I was in my early- to mid-thirties). Given that, I have absolutely no issue with a provider doing the same.

 

[Thomas_Belgium]

23 hours ago, robear said:

That is true. Not necessarily for injectables, perhaps...

 

Also true but this topics title is about Viagra.

[Rudynate]

31 minutes ago, rvwnsd said:

Regardless how well-built, well-hung, handsome, and/or desirable/attractive a provider is, I have to use ED meds in order to get an erection and have required such since the late 1990's (when I was in my early- to mid-thirties). Given that, I have absolutely no issue with a provider doing the same.

 

Completely OK with me.  Since I have a thing for mature providers, it would be counter-productive to expect anything else. 

[ICTJOCK]

Interesting question.    I would simply think someone using it would view it as a "performance aid".   Many people need glasses as a reading aid.    If a provider is busy with multiple clients in a day,  I can certainly understand.

[Simon Suraci]

I don’t use it, but other providers I know use it regularly, both older and younger than me. Never knock a provider for using what he knows works well for him…to your ultimate benefit and satisfaction. He’s doing this for your sake.

Clients are preoccupied with how they look. Honestly sometimes it has a lot less to do with looks and body type. Sometimes you’re just busy taking more than one or two clients a day and subject to human emotions and life stuff gets in the way. Maybe ADHD for some.

Performance anxiety plagues a few guys I know, and I have had my fair share of it in years past. Sometimes performance anxiety is even worse when you have an attractive client. Problems getting and maintaining an erection is not always about the client or how he looks. Chemistry goes a long way.

You still have to get aroused naturally. Viagra/cialis etc just help you maintain an erection more easily once you have it hard. Maybe it helps you get hard more easily as you physically and mentally get yourself there, but it can’t make you get hard without stimulus, as in the case of injectables.

[BonVivant]

20mg, 50mg? Whatever it takes. I like a stiff mast. 

[Simon Suraci]

56 minutes ago, BonVivant said:

20mg, 50mg? Whatever it takes. I like a stiff mast. 

A stiff mast will raise all butts…I mean boats…or a surging tide will lift them or something, I can never remember the saying 😛 

[SirBillybob]

Feeling poorly would be both futile and inaccurate. The scenario is not binary wherein any possible degree of erection relies on drug uptake. PDE5I trials’ placebo has a clinically and statistically significant effect. If, hypothetically, he took a sugar pill that you both thought was drug and a satisfactory erection outcome occurred, he would incorrectly believe it was due to needing a drug and he would correctly believe that it worked as a result of expectations about the outcome of taking it, albeit none the wiser. You would incorrectly believe something worked because it was biologically and contextually needed, nullifying the potential of perceived reality that you were far less the cause of a need about which you shouldn’t have been concerned in the first place.

Edited January 5 by SirBillybob

[Simon Suraci]

3 hours ago, SirBillybob said:

placebo has a clinically and statistically significant effect

In other words, it’s all in his head. Placebos are effective because they prompt expectations. 

Kind of like inflation. Expecting it to happen causes it to happen. Although let’s be clear: nothing is being inflated in this scenario. It’s all blood. 😉 

[SirBillybob]

5 hours ago, Simon Suraci said:

Placebos are effective because they prompt expectations.

Or, rather, have an effect because a similar outcome may occur with or without drug intervention, especially given that providers taking PDE5 inhibitors do not mirror the clinical ED of drug trial subjects. And/or the uncertainty about having not taken placebo but per chance having taking drug paradoxically upticks erection robustness among those double-blinded to placebo. It’s all in the penis because the head second-guesses or the head may be unrelated to cue-based autonomous physiological  drivers of tumescence that work in concert with the psychological.

My example is a scenario that does not occur because actually sneaking somebody a sugar pill masquerading as drug is fraught with ethical considerations, the idea set up aimed at further underscoring what some others are saying. 

…..

Yes, correct inflation analogy at the physiological level. PDE5 inhibitors are not directly vasodilating in the same way as, say, Trimix. They block the natural and essential process of erection neutralization. 

———

These points are simply to say that expanding an exploration of clinical concepts with that subset of persons bent out of shape in some way may mitigate the assumptions held that they are the root cause of the need and decision that drug be employed by the partner. The introduction of drug in this context is often compartmentalized and akin to the proverbial pea beneath the mattress, considerations that providers’ arousal may be partly due, in fact, to the client’s presence negated in the limited mentalizing about it. Again, as others have pointed out with sometimes an added emphasis on providers’ autonomy.

The idea that it is the provider’s prerogative to consume the drug will not on its own help some clients get out of their own way regarding the narcissistic injury that plagues them. Deconstructing assumptions in a tailor made fashion, obviously not reduced to a few paragraphs’ clinically oriented language, is the order of the day. That said, you yourself seem capable of grasping the more complex. 

First hand knowledge of this tends to ensue from service provision to hundreds of sex therapy couples presenting with arousal concerns and associated dynamics. One is up against the overgeneralization shoved down people’s throats that the penis is the predominant or exclusive marker of ‘his just being or not into you’. 

Edited January 5 by SirBillybob

[Thomas_Belgium]

16 hours ago, BonVivant said:

20mg, 50mg? Whatever it takes. I like a stiff mast. 

 

There's even 100 mg:

Taking VIAGRA® (sildenafil citrate) | Safety Info

WWW.VIAGRA.COM

---

See risks & benefits. Learn more about getting started with VIAGRA® (sildenafil citrate).

 

[DunwoodyGuy]

How do I feel? Well, to quote Sondheim:

He's a prince who prepares...
And I thought: Well, he cares!

 

[dbar123]

It shows that the provider cares. I would be thrilled to know that the provider has that level of commitment to ensure a good time 

[Redwine56]

On 1/2/2024 at 10:17 PM, pubic_assistance said:

In my experience ...guys who have sex with men yet identify ad "straight" are referring to their romantic life, not necessarily their sex life.

I've been with a lot of married men.

Always eager to take it up the ass and swallow a load but never much delving into anything near a romantic encounter like a kiss.

 

You bring out a very intriguing point.  Would you consider that these type of men clearly  fall into the bi-sexual category but just won't admit to it?  Experimenting or trying it out a few times for the sake of curiosity is one thing but repeat performers with the same sex does not indicate "straight" for me.  I'll exclude "gay for pay" from this scenario.  

[Redwine56]

On 1/1/2024 at 11:11 PM, Hot4latin said:

How would you even know? 🤔

If they have a ready, throbbing boner when you open the door to greet them.  😉

[pubic_assistance]

8 hours ago, Redwine56 said:

You bring out a very intriguing point.  Would you consider that these type of men clearly  fall into the bi-sexual category but just won't admit to it?  Experimenting or trying it out a few times for the sake of curiosity is one thing but repeat performers with the same sex does not indicate "straight" for me.  I'll exclude "gay for pay" from this scenario.  

There is a massive amount of bisexuality in humans that is mostly hidden from view. People tend to self-identify according to relationships, not sexuality.

But that's all another conversation.

As far as escorts getting hard, there are plenty who are bisexual, and in relationships with women. The reasons are varied for how these men view their homosexual activity. But in my observation they tend to enjoy the act of being cherished so much by a man, that he will offer money for the honor of your attention. He is not attracted to the man physically. That's how they manage to fuck an old, fat, client. But sometimes the client is just so unappealing, they need a little help. It's all a matter of head-space.

Edited January 29 by pubic_assistance
grammar