Addressing the Epidemic of impatience and passive aggression when book

[TallMuscl37]

A psychology expert shares 7 toxic signs of a passive-aggressive person: 'They look for fellow haters'

WWW.CNBC.COM

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Passive-aggressive behavior "pollutes the work environment," says Stefan Falk, a leadership...

 

 

Edited September 26, 2023 by Jarrod_Uncut

[TallMuscl37]

When Should Businesses Require a Deposit?

WWW.BUSINESS.COM

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Upfront deposits show customers you're providing something of value. Learn when to require a deposit and...

When you’re an employee, you don’t have to worry about invoicing for your work. Collecting customer payments is someone else’s job and you receive a paycheck regularly to compensate you for your work. 

However, small business owners don’t have this luxury. They provide the service and must invoice clients and collect payments. They often put in a significant amount of work and investment upfront, shouldering all the risk and trusting their clients will pay them. 

Many freelancers, independent contractors and small business owners require an upfront deposit to protect their interests. We’ll examine circumstances where requiring a deposit is a good idea and share best practices for collecting upfront payments.

Edited September 26, 2023 by Jarrod_Uncut

[DWnyc]

On 9/24/2023 at 10:22 PM, BenjaminNicholas said:

I'm gonna put this out there, but have you ever considered that clients treat you worse because you're a provider of color?

Can of worms conversation, I know.

But...  Let's be real.

I feel like minorities in this industry get the shit end of the stick a lot of times.

Thanks for raising this - I’m sure this is a contributing factor, and as uncomfortable as the topic is (including for many on this forum) it needs to be out there. 

Based on Jarrod’s own testimony I think many of us can have theories (which may or may not be correct) as to what issues there may be in the problems he brings to this group. I assume race may sometimes be a contributing factor, or make a bad  client act worse than he would otherwise (numerous studies on this issue across all industries) but it’s likely not the only or dominant factor. 

I must say (and I genuinely mean this) I admire @Jarrod_Uncut for a specific reason related to this. Despite having been frustrated by a lot of Jarrods posts (because I do want him to succeed and think he’s often missing the bigger picture and isn’t making use of the collective wisdom here) I’ve been impressed that he has rarely if ever referenced race. Empathy on this sensitive subject is hard to generate as it is, and it’s an easy fallback when no other explanation seems obvious to the recipient of bad behavior (or which he feels is bad), and it’s easy to add to the eye-rolling of one’s audience recipients on the topic with an Ill placed or poorly defended argument. 

[TallMuscl37]

2 hours ago, DWnyc said:

Thanks for raising this - I’m sure this is a contributing factor, and as uncomfortable as the topic is (including for many on this forum) it needs to be out there. 

Based on Jarrod’s own testimony I think many of us can have theories (which may or may not be correct) as to what issues there may be in the problems he brings to this group. I assume race may sometimes be a contributing factor, or make a bad  client act worse than he would otherwise (numerous studies on this issue across all industries) but it’s likely not the only or dominant factor. 

I must say (and I genuinely mean this) I admire @Jarrod_Uncut for a specific reason related to this. Despite having been frustrated by a lot of Jarrods posts (because I do want him to succeed and think he’s often missing the bigger picture and isn’t making use of the collective wisdom here) I’ve been impressed that he has rarely if ever referenced race. Empathy on this sensitive subject is hard to generate as it is, and it’s an easy fallback when no other explanation seems obvious to the recipient of bad behavior (or which he feels is bad), and it’s easy to add to the eye-rolling of one’s audience recipients on the topic with an Ill placed or poorly defended argument. 

Well, thanks? I guess 🤨 I mean yeah…I used to talk about race more but, it’s a bit deeper and more complex than that. Plus, I got tired of going down the race rabbit hole, that wasn’t necessarily pertinent to the specific situation at hand.

Like for example, I could easily have made this title to: a racist client stood me up. But then, that solves the issue prematurely without really addressing the other factors. When in reality, it was an inconsiderate, impatient client who stood me up: but he probably does treat other Black prospects that way too. Which is a very real aspect of racism. I’ve found that attitude from guys rife, specifically in certain places in the Midwest, Tennessee, Pennsylvania, and Texas. But it’s all over the country pretty much. You can’t come off rude and condescending, then expect to be in the mood to sleep together. Why some guys like to make their potential sex quest upset, is beyond me.
 

But I think it would be easier to address the impatient and inconsiderate part, before trying to solve the racist part because: the latter is something one needs to work on within and can take WORK to resolve, whereas the former directly affects my scheduling and our communication IN that moment.

I can’t book someone who thinks I’m supposed to show up MOMENTS after he works up the courage to FINALLY contact me again. After a lousy A4A message where he essentially semi-flaked twice, and then was making passive aggressive statements to try to “think ahead of me” like he suddenly has my whole life figured out. Dude, calm down and have a seat 🪑 You haven’t even known me 24 hours ✋🏾 

Which leads to the next article, because I’m just about done. I’m going to let articles speak for me. Just replace every line that says “women”, with “male escorts/masseurs”

No More Last Minute Dates! | Dee's Dating Diary

DEESDATINGDIARY.COM

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More and more men seem to think it is okay to ask women out on a date with less than 30 minutes notice! While I...

 

 

 

Edited September 26, 2023 by Jarrod_Uncut

[+ BOZO T CLOWN]

I agree with many of the others. It's time for him to find a new profession.
The OP is in his mid-to-late thirties (assuming his stated age is accurate, which often it is not). That's considered old in escort years.  Yeah, I know there are those that prefer "mature" and "seasoned". But that is the exception rather than the rule.

The OP's complaining and whining sends off negative vibes. Those who hire want an uplifting, positive experience for their investment. 
He's not making any friends or new clients here with his bitterness, anger, and constant kvetching.

He needs to find something he enjoys doing..  or at least doesn't seem to hate as much as his current chosen occupation.

BoZo

 

Edited September 26, 2023 by BOZO T CLOWN

[+ KensingtonHomo]

2 hours ago, BOZO T CLOWN said:

I agree with many of the others. It's time for him to find a new profession.
The OP is in his mid-to-late thirties (assuming his stated age is accurate, which often it is not). That's considered old in escort years.  Yeah, I know there are those that prefer "mature" and "seasoned". But that is the exception rather than the rule.

The OP's complaining and whining sends off negative vibes. Those who hire want an uplifting, positive experience for their investment. 
He's not making any friends or new clients here with his bitterness, anger, and constant kvetching.

He needs to find something he enjoys doing..  or at least doesn't seem to hate as much as his current chosen occupation.

BoZo

 

I'm just using this as an example not to drag Bozo per se, but I find it ironic that so many clients who regularly complain about providers on here - often going over the same topics (deposits, looks, flakiness, scheduling drama) again and again.

Why do clients get to hem and haw over the same issues over and over again, but a provider who is dealing with a difficult environment gets blamed? 

I've mentioned before how often I find comments about providers on here dehumanizing. This is another example. If you don't want to engage with Jarrod's posts, you can simply add him to your block list. Coming to his threads and telling him to quit or stop complaining is just nasty and unnecessary. 

The majority of Americans are unhappy in their jobs. And even those who like or love what they do have bad times and need to vent. Why is Jarrod not afforded the same latitude? 

Job unhappiness is at a staggering all-time high, according to Gallup

WWW.CNBC.COM

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Workers are unhappy and disengaged, to a staggering degree, according to Gallup, and it's a big issue for...

 

[maninsoma]

15 minutes ago, KensingtonHomo said:

I'm just using this as an example not to drag Bozo per se, but I find it ironic that so many clients who regularly complain about providers on here - often going over the same topics (deposits, looks, flakiness, scheduling drama) again and again.

Why do clients get to hem and haw over the same issues over and over again, but a provider who is dealing with a difficult environment gets blamed? 

I've mentioned before how often I find comments about providers on here dehumanizing. This is another example. If you don't want to engage with Jarrod's posts, you can simply add him to your block list. Coming to his threads and telling him to quit or stop complaining is just nasty and unnecessary. 

The majority of Americans are unhappy in their jobs. And even those who like or love what they do have bad times and need to vent. Why is Jarrod not afforded the same latitude? 

Job unhappiness is at a staggering all-time high, according to Gallup

WWW.CNBC.COM

---

Workers are unhappy and disengaged, to a staggering degree, according to Gallup, and it's a big issue for...

 

Jarrod definitely has that right, but is exercising that right here, in a forum that's largely made up of clients who hire escorts, wise?

[+ SirBillybob]

Uncut is Director’s Cut topic prerogative.

Personally, I think I tune in at times because he (you, J, are) is articulate but tune out due to a (my) sense of impotence with respect to influencing outcome. Fortunately, J frames these threads as potentially cathartic, so there’s that. And is not contemptuous towards the board membership largely made up of client constituency; I am sure some disgruntled providers have a major hate-on that they performatively mask. 

Unfortunately, while a variety of sound and interesting contributions here, some with supportive empathy, there’s little scope here for Dr Wendy Rhoades-grade job coaching, that is, as vocation dynamics can be complex in their own right and not necessarily attributable to personal deficiency. That said, the OP is bright and articulate, certainly not without potential, and a formidable focused baseline drive.

Interestingly, the latest BILLIONS episode included our fave ex-marital-dom Wendy referencing Tversky and Kahneman. (Yeah, this gives away I utilize closed-caption😏.) Late last night I took to reading their dozen-page essay Judgement Under Uncertainty: Heuristics & Biases.

It strikes me how the OP’s understandable uncertainty about how bookings will roll out, a wild snakes’n’ladders ride, runs up against the ambivalence and reservations about outcome probabilities that seems central to many prospective clients.

The written piece also touches on the worthlessness of information that may be presented (in this case to clients) with good intentions but, as other posters opined, is best extremely edited and streamlined, IF the goal is deal-seal above and beyond process.

Another concept is that of anchoring assumptions in such a way that other possibilities are overlooked. We perhaps see this within both our illustrious appellant and various contributions within the thread.

Obviously, there is too much to summarize from the essay but my sense is that a paradigm shift, as also put forward by others, is necessitated here in order to acquire a sustainable stroke exceeding head above water.

Edited September 26, 2023 by SirBillybob

[+ KensingtonHomo]

3 hours ago, maninsoma said:

Jarrod definitely has that right, but is exercising that right here, in a forum that's largely made up of clients who hire escorts, wise?

As a client, I like hearing from escorts who I'm not likely to hire - mostly due to geography - about what they like or dislike about clients. I think it makes me a better client. 

[TallMuscl37]

10 hours ago, BOZO T CLOWN said:

I agree with many of the others. It's time for him to find a new profession.
The OP is in his mid-to-late thirties (assuming his stated age is accurate, which often it is not). That's considered old in escort years.  Yeah, I know there are those that prefer "mature" and "seasoned". But that is the exception rather than the rule.

The OP's complaining and whining sends off negative vibes. Those who hire want an uplifting, positive experience for their investment. 
He's not making any friends or new clients here with his bitterness, anger, and constant kvetching.

He needs to find something he enjoys doing..  or at least doesn't seem to hate as much as his current chosen occupation.

BoZo

 

Well you’ve just included DOZENS of other providers, many who on this board who are over 30, 40, even 50 and 60 and are still in the biz. I definitely don’t “feel” old, I don’t look old, I’m still bagging 20 year olds and have clients who are in college even. So, you really need to lay-off that mentality. 36 is not “old” and if anything, it levels out the playing field because, as a Top; many clients want an older nature guy, they don’t want to get fucked by someone barely out of high school (hopefully, I mean…I would think).

The escort shelf life for Tops is likely a bit longer, I can be 70 years old, and still be escorting as a top and I guarantee I would still have some young guys wanting me. I know for a fact because: I just had a (real and in person) client tell me this the other week. He’s 75 and has young guys hitting him up all the time.

And I appreciate the career advice but, reserve that for someone who’s asks for it: please. 

[RandyVue]

I hope that you receive this in the spirit in which it is intended. I retired from being an escort in 2014. I retired from it young. I'm also Black, so you might appreciate my perspective in a different way, but maybe not. Here are 9 actionable things that you can do to help make your life better in my opinion:

 

1) Think about if you want to stay in the business, and for how long.  Think about whether the pros of the business outweigh the cons for you.

 

2) Move! If you want to stay in the business, you'll need to move to a different city and quickly! You mentioned that you wanted to take care of some things before moving, but you might find it easier to take care of those things if you move first.  If you have the means to move, make it a firm goal to do it within the next 30-60 days. 

 

3) Be very selective about where you move to. I did not experience nearly the level of grief that you are experiencing and there are many reasons why I think that is, but I think a lot of it has to do with where I lived and operated the business. 

 

4) Screen out flakes as best as you can. There are things you can do to limit the amount of time wasted with flakes. Be sure to control the conversation and guide them to the details of the appointment as soon as possible.  If they are dragging it out, that is a red flag. Move on! 

 

5) Don't engage with people who flake or cancel at the last moment. They are not paying you at that point, so cut off the contact; otherwise, you are donating your time, and engaging will only aggravate you more. If someone flakes, put them on your "do not book" list, and move on quickly! When they contact you again, (and they likely will), do not give them the time of day.

 

6) Have at least one other source of income. This isn't something specific to just you, but I think everyone should have multiple sources of income. You are less likely to tolerate nonsense from clients when you know you aren't relying on them for your bread and butter.  Having more than one source of income is empowering and good for your overall well-being.

 

7) Therapy. You mentioned having gone to a counselor. Make sure you are working with someone who is giving you actionable steps to help you deal with your responses to frustrations, feedback, and helping with develop a plan for a fulfilling life. Sometimes when people give you very sound feedback on this forum, I sense a sharp defensiveness from you. Defensiveness can be a natural response to protect oneself, but if it is unwarranted defensiveness it can indicate underlying emotional issues. I'm not saying you have emotional issues, but a good therapist can help figure that out. 

 

8 Have an exit plan. I have a handsome face, smooth skin, a nice smile, a 9 inch dick, and a round bottom. I made a lot of money, put it in the stock market, and got out.

 

9) Make sure you are doing activities and pursuing interests that you are passionate about and find joy in.

Okay, that's all I have to offer. I hope it helps.

Edited September 26, 2023 by RandyVue

[TallMuscl37]

8 hours ago, SirBillybob said:

Uncut is Director’s Cut topic prerogative.

Personally, I think I tune in at times because he (you, J, are) is articulate but tune out due to a (my) sense of impotence with respect to influencing outcome. Fortunately, J frames these threads as potentially cathartic, so there’s that. And is not contemptuous towards the board membership largely made up of client constituency; I am sure some disgruntled providers have a major hate-on that they performatively mask. 

Unfortunately, while a variety of sound and interesting contributions here, some with supportive empathy, there’s little scope here for Dr Wendy Rhoades-grade job coaching, that is, as vocation dynamics can be complex in their own right and not necessarily attributable to personal deficiency. That said, the OP is bright and articulate, certainly not without potential, and a formidable focused baseline drive.

Interestingly, the latest BILLIONS episode included our fave ex-marital-dom Wendy referencing Tversky and Kahneman. (Yeah, this gives away I utilize closed-caption😏.) Late last night I took to reading their dozen-page essay Judgement Under Uncertainty: Heuristics & Biases.

It strikes me how the OP’s understandable uncertainty about how bookings will roll out, a wild snakes’n’ladders ride, runs up against the ambivalence and reservations about outcome probabilities that seems central to many prospective clients.

The written piece also touches on the worthlessness of information that may be presented (in this case to clients) with good intentions but, as other posters opined, is best extremely edited and streamlined, IF the goal is deal-seal above and beyond process.

Another concept is that of anchoring assumptions in such a way that other possibilities are overlooked. We perhaps see this within both our illustrious appellant and various contributions within the thread.

Obviously, there is too much to summarize from the essay but my sense is that a paradigm shift, as also put forward by others, is necessitated here in order to acquire a sustainable stroke exceeding head above water.

Interesting read. At the same time: I should have better prepared for the typical nonsense that often arises when I have re-market back in my home base area. I should have known better than to make a rookie mistake like I did, but I’m looking forward from here. 
 

And the only reason I even took that route that I did, by posting: is because this person descended from being a potential client to: okay this guy is just fucking with me, and it shows from TWO prior messages that he either can’t make up his mind, or is very inconsiderate. 
 

I don’t get bent out of shape about clients looking at my profile and not booking, or asking reasonable questions with intention to book. But I draw the line at those who know better: they didn’t do it once, or twice. 
 

For every person who says I’m not this or that or need to do this or that with my life: apply that to every person who does the things I mention above. It’s funny how people always want to say what I need to do, but never make an honest assembly about those who instigate the situation: need to do. 
 

And in my case, I’m usually trucking along just fine minding my business…doing what I need to do and focusing on good clients: then some bozo clown (not referring to bozoTclown here) wants to come around and be childish. I don’t have time for that. And I definitely don’t have time to be reading texts at 6 fucking 30 in the morning, talking about he need to cancel a booking because he doesn’t want to part with the money.

Edited September 26, 2023 by Jarrod_Uncut

[TallMuscl37]

2 hours ago, RandyVue said:

I hope that you receive this in the spirit in which it is intended. I retired from being an escort in 2014. I retired from it young. I'm also Black, so you might appreciate my perspective in a different way, but maybe not. Here are 9 actionable things that you can do to help make your life better in my opinion:

 

1) Think about if you want to stay in the business, and for how long.  Think about whether the pros of the business outweigh the cons for you.

 

2) Move! If you want to stay in the business, you'll need to move to a different city and quickly! You mentioned that you wanted to take care of some things before moving, but you might find it easier to take care of those things if you move first.  If you have the means to move, make it a firm goal to do it within the next 30-60 days. 

 

3) Be very selective about where you move to. I did not experience nearly the level of grief that you are experiencing and there are many reasons why I think that is, but I think a lot of it has to do with where I lived and operated the business. 

 

4) Screen out flakes as best as you can. There are things you can do to limit the amount of time wasted with flakes. Be sure to control the conversation and guide them to the details of the appointment as soon as possible.  If they are dragging it out, that is a red flag. Move on! 

 

5) Don't engage with people who flake or cancel at the last moment. They are not paying you at that point, so cut off the contact; otherwise, you are donating your time, and engaging will only aggravate you more. If someone flakes, put them on your "do not book" list, and move on quickly! When they contact you again, (and they likely will), do not give them the time of day.

 

6) Have at least one other source of income. This isn't something specific to just you, but I think everyone should have multiple sources of income. You are less likely to tolerate nonsense from clients when you know you aren't relying on them for your bread and butter.  Having more than one source of income is empowering and good for your overall well-being.

 

7) Therapy. You mentioned having gone to a counselor. Make sure you are working with someone who is giving you actionable steps to help you deal with your responses to frustrations, feedback, and helping with develop a plan for a fulfilling life. Sometimes when people give you very sound feedback on this forum, I sense a sharp defensiveness from you. Defensiveness can be a natural response to protect oneself, but if it is unwarranted defensiveness it can indicate underlying emotional issues. I'm not saying you have emotional issues, but a good therapist can help figure that out. 

 

8 Have an exit plan. I have a handsome face, smooth skin, a nice smile, a 9 inch dick, and a round bottom. I made a lot of money, put it in the stock market, and got out.

 

9) Make sure you are doing activities and pursuing interests that you are passionate about and find joy in.

Okay, that's all I have to offer. I hope it helps.

Thanks for the tips. I appreciate what you’re saying but, I can’t only hear one person’s side and then expect it to speak for each particular situation. 
 

I also still say: there’s no getting defensive, but rather I’m answering the questions and comments that are being given. If someone misinterprets something I say, or do: I have the option to address and/or give my take on that. That’s why it’s a forum, unless I just post a topic and run off and never respond to anyone. Which some do. But I’m also not going to just sit back and say: “you’re right you’re right” to everyone. Not that a person is “wrong”, but maybe misinterpreted.
 

Just like I mentioned about the therapy statement that you said: I have friends who have gone to therapists, but fact is: people are going to be who they are regardless. That’s the thing that you, and a few others just need to accept. You’re not necessarily going to change my reaction or perspective about a particular client. I have my way of dealing with them, to ensure I make it clear: it’s over and done with. Don’t come back around next year or the year after and think it’s going to be all good.

As for the rest: I agree with what I need to do. I do plan to move, in fact I have a client who owns rentals in a neighboring state: and last we met we discussed my desire to leave this area. I got in contact with him yesterday, and hopefully the ball can get rolling. But even if it doesn’t, I’m still looking.
 

The other thing is: telling me to move without giving me the means to do it, doesn’t help either. I know I need to move. Yes, I hate my home market. I have never traveled more in my life, than I have since I moved here. I mostly never fully unpack my bags because I already have another trip coming up. The days I try to stay here, all I do is deal with timewasters, people who make fake appointments, last minute appointments that I can rarely accommodate: it’s a racket. And all that traveling makes it hard to save money. It’s really been a merry go round to an extent. Normally I would be able to use proceeds from travel to save and make a move: But RentMen, RentMasseur and Adam4Adam are SLOW ever since the political climate has become toxic.
 

Take for example this real text from a former client (and he’s far from broke; Edited for privacy and censorship obviously):

So where am I going to get the money to pack up, uhaul, put a down payment, transfer vehicles, and do ALL of that: when you see right here: I lost $400 between 2 clients, in one DAY. One guy agreed to pay my regular rate $250, the other wanted just my basic $150 rate. And both cancelled on me Sunday. Neither was my fault in any way. I don’t care how people make it seem like the guy didn’t have an exact time, etc etc. He knew what he was doing, being a liar. Now, that’s $400 I don’t have to relocate with. So now: if I’m supposed to move in 30-60 days, where am I going to get that money? 
 

That’s what I’m saying: you’re telling me everything that worked for you: that’s great. It worked for me too, I wasn’t always in this position. I been sex working since 2009. I’ve had several apartments, in different cities. I even had a condo for 5 years in Denver. I paid so much for it, I could have practically brought it. But it wasn’t for sale and then, goodbye Rentboy and hello rent prices skyrocking. And guess where that left me? Figure that one out…

Don’t look at me now like I’m struggling and have nothing going on, or don’t know how to manage my life. That’s not the USUAL routine. That’s only the current moment, and that’s because of having to work in a market that literally hates sex workers. Like yes: In Kansas City these people literally HATE SEX WORKERS. I hear it all the time from friends, men on hookup apps in the area. They talk about us derogatory, they’re interested until any mention of payment is brought up, the “potential” clients are just the worse inconsiderate types I’ve encountered. It’s easily the worst place I ever marketed in my life (albeit almost a tie with Nashville which however used to be quite decent for me during the time I lived there). But they were also hit with the rental crisis and influx of escorts.

And that’s the thing: even under performing markets like Kansas City are filled to excess with escorts, so everybody is all trying to reach the same decent clients who are here. Or, the only ones doing good happen to be the guys lucky enough to marry an older well off White guy (which is very common I see in this area). Many minorities in this part of the Midwest partner up or marry much older White guys with money, and do their BEST to keep other Black men away from them, unless it’s like their trusted trusted guys from high school: even if they are 30 and 40 years old.

 

I’m just over it. I talked to my therapist so many times, that there was nothing else to talk about. Only suggestion he made that was similar, was consider looking for other sources, and worked with me to find things I would like: but But I’ve also had jobs PRIOR to being an escort, and they had not much promise than some of these flaky clients have. Many companies hire an influx of semi-qualified candidates, then use them for a few months/couple years, only to drop them once their busy season is over. Which is okay if that’s what you’re looking for but: that’s a lot of commitment to something that’s temporary. Many jobs want your whole life, each and every day: but don’t want you to depend on them “too much”. Because: it’s “at will”. 

 

I have an idea and suggestion right now: how about we raise some money  TONIGHT to help me relocate, so I can stop dealing with what I am dealing with. Then I can stop talking about it here 🙂 In the meantime, I’m thinking about removing all of my nudes on RentMen, and making them only available for rent on my website. That way I can have an extra source of income, versus relying on in person visits only. Just put my nudes on sale. 

If people want to start donating $100, $500, $1,000 to my cash app: it can be used to help me fund a move.  Because at this point, with the shit I’ve been dealing with: I don’t have the means to move. Like I said, I’m hoping a client of mine who owns some rentals, can come up with something. If so, I might be moving to Arkansas ✌ I’m tired of over saturated, cesspool markets where there’s nothing but flakes and unreliable.Then you have 20 escorts being contacted all at once by the same flakes at the same time ✋🏾 

Edited September 27, 2023 by Jarrod_Uncut

[+ nycman]

31 minutes ago, icecream said:

There are obvious solutions, but I’m not going to point them out because I just don’t think that you are receptive to them so I’m going to leave you be.

No more callers please…..we have a WINNER!

[TallMuscl37]

1 hour ago, icecream said:

There are obvious solutions, but I’m not going to point them out because I just don’t think that you are receptive to them so I’m going to leave you be. I realize that some people just are not interested in solutions, they just want to gripe and vent perpetually. I wish you the best of luck.

And I have done certain things to make solutions accordingly. But to insinuate a set of solutions is immediately attainable per one’s circumstances, is a bit assumptive. Just like the article above I stated: change the pity to empathy.
 

But if that’s how you feel, then that’s on you. You don’t have to understand, you already said you could never be an escort and prefer to stick with massage. That’s great. But I don’t think that could be used as a “solution” on a site that’s called “company of men”. 
 

So if you’re going to get snappy and start being condescending towards me, you can leave too. Here’s the door 🚪 and please don’t wish me best of luck if you don’t really mean it. The whole point of this thread is addressing passive aggressiveness, and you’re epitomizing that by leaving off with that, after you just insulted me. Don’t ✋🏾 

Edited September 27, 2023 by Jarrod_Uncut

[TallMuscl37]

Update: decided to request a change to this thread because I didn’t want it to just be passed off as another rant/complaint.

When I think about it, it is an actual epidemic within the industry. There shouldn’t be this expectation that, a provider’s time is less important to that of a client: and trying to speak and think for a provider should not be considered acceptable. 
 

Hopefully we can all leave off on a positive note, with a better understanding of the message 📝 

Edited September 27, 2023 by Jarrod_Uncut

[Monarchy79]

On 9/26/2023 at 9:52 AM, KensingtonHomo said:

The majority of Americans are unhappy in their jobs. And even those who like or love what they do have bad times and need to vent. Why is Jarrod not afforded the same latitude? 

Because he’s worn out his welcome with complaining. His trajectory of whining, complaining, defensiveness and irate behavior spans YEARS. 
 

if you read the threads over this extended period of time, you’ll see people go from having empathy towards him to full out exasperation. 
 

I’m one of those people. I used to attempt at seeing things through his lens, and trying to give him some type of deference, but no more. He doesn’t deserve it. The moment anyone tries to suggest a solution to his problems in a way that holds him accountable, he throws tantrums. 
 

So to hell with it. Let him do him and just enjoy the messy entertainment. 

[+ BOZO T CLOWN]

19 hours ago, Jarrod_Uncut said:

Update: decided to request a change to this thread because I didn’t want it to just be passed off as another rant/complaint.

You can put lipstick on a pig........

.

BoZo

[pubic_assistance]

On 9/25/2023 at 11:31 PM, Jarrod_Uncut said:

What Is Black Fatigue, and How Can We Protect…

GREATERGOOD.BERKELEY.EDU

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Here are eight tips for organizations embarking on a diversity, equity, and inclusion process.

 

I miss the days when we all just AMERICANS.

This constant need to feel disconnected is tiresome.

 

 

[+ Jamie21]

43 minutes ago, pubic_assistance said:

I miss the days when we all just AMERICANS.

This constant need to feel disconnected is tiresome.

 

 

I’m not American! 😉…

I can empathise to an extent with @Jarrod_Uncut. I get time waster clients, guys who regularly ask about availability, rates, what’s included etc yet never get around to booking. Others ask about availability and I go back with dates etc and then hear nothing…so weird. People can be strange, especially when it comes to dealing with sex workers. I think they believe different rules apply.

I also think it’s futile to try and change other people. In any situation that causes you grief the answer always lies in how you think about it and how you respond. If you think other people will change you’re going to be constantly disappointed. 
 

 

[TallMuscl37]

1 hour ago, pubic_assistance said:

I miss the days when we all just AMERICANS.

This constant need to feel disconnected is tiresome.

 

 

What days were that? And what makes it any less now than then? You’re not implying that racial discussions constitutes someone needing to feel disconnected, right?

39 minutes ago, Jamie21 said:

I’m not American! 😉…

I can empathise to an extent with @Jarrod_Uncut. I get time waster clients, guys who regularly ask about availability, rates, what’s included etc yet never get around to booking. Others ask about availability and I go back with dates etc and then hear nothing…so weird. People can be strange, especially when it comes to dealing with sex workers. I think they believe different rules apply.

I also think it’s futile to try and change other people. In any situation that causes you grief the answer always lies in how you think about it and how you respond. If you think other people will change you’re going to be constantly disappointed. 
 

 

I 100% get that last part. I concur. And it also applies to the forum and I also. They can’t change if I feel a certain way about how I’m being treated by clients. Take for example this passive aggressive situation with a client the other day. Now mind you, last month he “bailed” on an appointment even after sending me a deposit, because I was expecting him at the hour he wanted to meet. But then he told me, “mid September” he would be available again. But now he’s singing a whole other tune: (mind you I wasn’t referring to another client’s appointment, it was just a service appointment that I could have easily rescheduled.)

 

And I know I’m being more proactive than what’s typically expected escorts to do: but I try to be so, follow back up, agree to a time etc. But instead of just being upfront that he doesn’t want to do it, he strings me along, makes up excuses, etc.

So clearly he’s not reliable so, I’ll take the advice and just stop engaging.

And I’ll add another point: I can understand if I was working in a sales job that involved soliciting/cold calling new clients. In those situations, you have to really have a thick skin and patience, and that’s why I left “sales” jobs back in 2009 and never looked back. I even tried it again after a couple years break, and ended up quitting again within a couple months, and sticking with escorting. 
 

However, these guys are contacting and initiating with me. In both situations including the original post where I put the guy on blast: they contacted me first. I was minding my own business not expecting a penny of their money, until they started harassing me and then flaking out. THAT is why I got mad and THAT is why I put them both on blast. 

5 hours ago, Monarchy79 said:

Because he’s worn out his welcome with complaining. His trajectory of whining, complaining, defensiveness and irate behavior spans YEARS. 
 

if you read the threads over this extended period of time, you’ll see people go from having empathy towards him to full out exasperation. 
 

I’m one of those people. I used to attempt at seeing things through his lens, and trying to give him some type of deference, but no more. He doesn’t deserve it. The moment anyone tries to suggest a solution to his problems in a way that holds him accountable, he throws tantrums. 
 

So to hell with it. Let him do him and just enjoy the messy entertainment. 

At this point, the only welcome that’s being worn out: is yours in this thread. So  you can go ahead and escort yourself out. 
 

And while the discussion of therapy is being thrown around: let me share some tips with you: you don’t have to insert yourself here if you don’t like the topic. I didn’t invite you to respond, if it’s not something you want to do. I never quoted your name or messaged you to respond. I don’t even know who you are, why are you even discussing what I’ve been doing for years? It shouldn’t even matter. Focus on controlling what you can control, which is not coming here trying to disparage me…and that’s one less argument you have to hear about. It’ll benefit you AND me. And that goes for anybody. 
 

It’s a million other threads to respond and read. You don’t have to throw shade on my discussion, which is doing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to better the situation and only serving to ignore and minimize the issue.

So please, leave. It’s nothing else to talk about ☮️ ✌

Edited September 28, 2023 by Jarrod_Uncut

[Monarchy79]

1 hour ago, Jarrod_Uncut said:

It’s a million other threads to respond and read. You don’t have to throw shade on my discussion, which is doing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to better the situation and only serving to ignore and minimize the issue.

So please, leave. It’s nothing else to talk about ☮️ ✌

Ummmm…..Sir…..

This isn’t your private website, nor do you have any proprietary rights to this forum.  
Therefore, you do not have any leverage to tell me to exit a thread or dictate to anyone  how to comment. 
 

The only thing you own is that sophomoric soapbox you continue to carry around with your redundant rants and complaints on how “bad”, and “wrong” everyone else is. 
 

And guess what? I don’t even care. You can fuss, complain, argue, and type long posts until steam shoots out of your ears. 
 

More power to you. This changes nothing. You proved me right in your posts. Another former escort tried to give you sound well-intended advice (with no sarcasm or ill intent) and you shat on that. 
 

The truth about you is that you live in a microcosm of cognitive dissonance and no solution will ever suit you because you don’t want one. Your pathology is centered on fighting, arguing, drama and problems. You are a repellant of peace. You’ll find issues in every single thing you do.  You are the nucleus of your own misery. 

Edited September 28, 2023 by Monarchy79

[TallMuscl37]

1 hour ago, Monarchy79 said:

Ummmm…..Sir…..

This isn’t your private website, nor do you have any proprietary rights to this forum.  
Therefore, you do not have any leverage to tell me to exit a thread or dictate to anyone  how to comment. 
 

The only thing you own is that sophomoric soapbox you continue to carry around with your redundant rants and complaints on how “bad”, and “wrong” everyone else is. 
 

And guess what? I don’t even care. You can fuss, complain, argue, and type long posts until steam shoots out of your ears. 
 

More power to you. This changes nothing. You proved me right in your posts. Another former escort tried to give you sound well-intended advice (with no sarcasm or ill intent) and you shat on that. 
 

The truth about you is that you live in a microcosm of cognitive dissonance and no solution will ever suit you because you don’t want one. Your pathology is centered on fighting, arguing, drama and problems. You are a repellant of peace. You’ll find issues in every single thing you do.  You are the nucleus of your own misery. 

I quickly glanced at all what you wrote, in a 5 second time frame. Because that’s all you’re getting from me at this point.

It’s nothing about owning the site or thread, it’s simply me informing you that you have the option to not post or read here if you don’t like it. This thread was not designed to address you, and if you’re not even the type of client I’m referring to: it shouldn’t even apply to you at all. So I don’t understand where your animosity is coming from. You’re inserting your opinion and annoyance where it’s not required.
 

I appreciate wholeheartedly the advice you have given, however if you season it with criticism and abrasive tone: I don’t have to receive it. That’s my choice, just like it’s your choice to leave this particular thread. You can stay on the forum all you want. But what you’re not going to do, is keep coming for me after I told you, I’m not going to agree if you can’t talk to me respectfully ☝️ 
 

If you want to stay here and continue arguing, we can do that too. But, that’s contradictory to the message you’re trying to give to me. And I really don’t have time to do all that. I had the thread hidden for a day, to cool things down. Now you just bringing the heat back. At this point, I’m just not going to respond to you anymore. I’ve said what I had to say: 

Edited September 29, 2023 by Jarrod_Uncut

[ICTJOCK]

I totally get the challenge with bookings at times.    I have a dentist who is one of my longest term clients.   He tends to cancel  sometimes at the last minute.   I just try and remember he had referred me to other clients and always has a good attitude.   He also gives me a tip occasionally.     I have had others that just cancel out,  but part of the scene,   I usually use the time in some other productive context.

[TallMuscl37]

2 hours ago, ICTJOCK said:

I totally get the challenge with bookings at times.    I have a dentist who is one of my longest term clients.   He tends to cancel  sometimes at the last minute.   I just try and remember he had referred me to other clients and always has a good attitude.   He also gives me a tip occasionally.     I have had others that just cancel out,  but part of the scene,   I usually use the time in some other productive context.

And that’s understandable. There’s some clients who I can genuinely understand having to cancel here and there when needed. I try to extend the same grace, as I may need when I have to cancel things, even unrelated to clients. I even allow one of my clients to fantasy text me, even though he hasn’t booked a session since 2020. But he’s hired me for so many overnights, that he’s on my “lifetime” standby status lol. I wish he’d just work up and re-book again some point. 
 

But I can pick up between genuine cancels, and just being passive aggressive. In the 2 cases I mentioned, those were clearly passive aggressive moves. One definitely had no basis to cancel, and the other: couldn’t have just found out at 6:30 in the morning that he couldn’t include my service with his bills. Plus, that’s too early in the morning to be waking me up with bad news.

It’s sad because, I really did like that particular guy. He had a nice dick, nice ass, talented mouth, was a good host at his place…everything was fine. But he also took me thru a lot of cancel/book/cancel/cancel book patterns. Then came around with the new boyfriend story AFTER we had #1 just prior agreed on meeting every 2 weeks  #2 going to a local resort in the state (and he should have been cut off long time ago, just for that).

That goes beyond an understanding escort, to being subjected to emotional labor. I can’t be bothered with someone who lies, can’t keep their word, plays games with me, etc. People wonder why I feel strongly about this topic, but they don’t always know the full story. That’s why I post copy of messages. It’s not to be messy or expose the client or disclose privacy, but when you can actually anonymously see what’s going on: maybe there can be a better understanding.

 

Edited September 29, 2023 by Jarrod_Uncut