IS RAW REQUIRED?

[PapaNuts]

So day one back I’m back to the escort site as the goat that I am and had the strangest experience with a client..the client reached out not specifically stating wanting raw. Stating just wanting to be dominated. So I pull out the dog leash etc he gets here and is like not that dom I don’t want to be leash or controlled dominated (which my ad states control) or suck dick which is fine but (I should just be hard on go with injectables?) then states doesn’t suck like that etc I get hard to put condom on and put it in to the point he ran from the dick and even when he was sucking jerked his head back and couldn’t take it deep down his throat. As we are doing it with a condom he says the condom is going to HAVE to come off…. He asked for a rate as the good provider I am , I ask what’s the specific budget range his is in he said no limits I say hey raw is way higher than my regular rate mind you I’m not into raw & with him being rude and demanding I did state raw would be wayy more double he asked to book the next day for raw with a price but also before leaving began stating getting other clients and meat which is okay. My thing is I’m very direct you state dom I meet you where your at I protect myself and you don’t want to have a client that meets you where your at? Or actually cares about the experience and not just he money or monetary gain? The RM client list has gone downhill with what they expect for raw play just interested on your option on raw and what you guys expect from a “hooker” as what he called me. My first ever low review ever. We have to continue protecting our clients and providers. Yes on prep and doxy but that doesn’t mean raw should be low ball? Now I’m a hoodrat & xyz.

[longislandjohn]

While I would personally prefer my escort to fuck me raw, I'm willing to accept a condom if he insists.  A condom for sucking is a non starter for me, however.  I

am simply not going to pay someone to suck them off while they're wearing one.

[+ FrankR]

2 hours ago, Papanutzz said:

So day one back I’m back to the escort site as the goat that I am and had the strangest experience with a client..the client reached out not specifically stating wanting raw. Stating just wanting to be dominated. So I pull out the dog leash etc he gets here and is like not that dom I don’t want to be leash or controlled dominated (which my ad states control) or suck dick which is fine but (I should just be hard on go with injectables?) then states doesn’t suck like that etc I get hard to put condom on and put it in to the point he ran from the dick and even when he was sucking jerked his head back and couldn’t take it deep down his throat. As we are doing it with a condom he says the condom is going to HAVE to come off…. He asked for a rate as the good provider I am , I ask what’s the specific budget range his is in he said no limits I say hey raw is way higher than my regular rate mind you I’m not into raw & with him being rude and demanding I did state raw would be wayy more double he asked to book the next day for raw with a price but also before leaving began stating getting other clients and meat which is okay. My thing is I’m very direct you state dom I meet you where your at I protect myself and you don’t want to have a client that meets you where your at? Or actually cares about the experience and not just he money or monetary gain? The RM client list has gone downhill with what they expect for raw play just interested on your option on raw and what you guys expect from a “hooker” as what he called me. My first ever low review ever. We have to continue protecting our clients and providers. Yes on prep and doxy but that doesn’t mean raw should be low ball? Now I’m a hoodrat & xyz.

If your RM profile states that you are on prep and doxy, some guys may just assume you default to raw. You may want to review your profile again and clarify.  

[PapaNuts]

4 hours ago, longislandjohn said:

While I would personally prefer my escort to fuck me raw, I'm willing to accept a condom if he insists.  A condom for sucking is a non starter for me, however.  I

am simply not going to pay someone to suck them off while they're wearing one.

I’m okay with head without condom that’s fine it’s the anal without that’s weird.

[PapaNuts]

3 hours ago, FrankR said:

If your RM profile states that you are on prep and doxy, some guys may just assume you default to raw. You may want to review your profile again and clarify.  

If my profile states ask me why not ask lol? It’s very strange to automatically default to raw. I get it but same time it was very strange.

[DMonDude]

You never have to do anything you don't want to do or aren't comfortable with. But yes, to a certain degree, expectations seem to have changed because of PrEP/Doxy Pep. I'd definitely recommend to be even more upfront about your limits and stipulations and make that part of the default information you tell the client about yourself in initial conversations. And you'd just have to be ok with the fact that some arbitrary number of inquiring clients may go elsewhere because of it.

Purely anecdotally, but I've been hiring a couple times a month consistently for coming up on two years now. Pretty much all the escorts and masseurs that offer full service extras that I've hired either exclusively use condoms with no exception (whether on PrEP/Doxy Pep or not) and thus list Safe Only and never offer raw as an add-on. Or they are on PrEP/Doxy Pep and list Ask Me/Anything Goes and usually just default to whatever my preference is, in that if i don't say anything they'll do raw but if i bring them a condom or i ask them to use one they will. The split has been roughly 50/50 for me.

Two providers. One escort and one masseur who offers extras, started safe only/with condoms but after I became a regular client they gladly switched to raw at no added cost without me asking. And only one escort I've ever hired started with condom but offered raw at extra cost. And he sprung it on me mid session while topping me. "I'll nut in you for an extra $1,000". I said no, both because i wasn't on PrEP at the time and i didn't have a surprise extra $1,000. That apparently works with some of his richie rich clients who like being financially dominated though, so more power to him i guess lol.

I was pretty put off though by the fact he sprung that on me in the heat of the moment and even if i was on PrEP/Doxy at the time, and was ok with paying extra for raw. I do personally think double or more, is much much more than that's worth (and I'm obviously biased there by my experiences doing this) these days because of PrEP/Doxy.

Edited Friday at 05:45 PM by DMonDude

[Chien Andalou]

Most providers in the US either state “safe only” in their ads or they offer raw. I personally believe the onus is on you to state it if you require specific conditions for you to perform any service. Does your ad copy state “bb costs more”? Because it should. And that way you (and your clients) can avoid any nasty surprises. 

[Wings246]

Speaking from personal experience, I have met providers who are listed as "safe only" but engage in 100% BB activities with me without any discussions (and no upcharges either).  I was shocked the 1st time.  When the same scenarios happened again and again with different people, it kind of became the norm.  In a way, I'm now conditioned to believe BB is the default standard unless specified otherwise in person (regardless of what's listed on the RM ad).  You may need to make it explicitly clear because many clients, like myself, may have also been "trained" to think like this.

[PetetKsfo]

 

I always ask clients their limits and desires, and never make an assumption beforehand, but then have rarely had a client ask me to use a condom.

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

On 9/11/2026 at 4:17 PM, PapaNuts said:

If my profile states ask me why not ask lol? It’s very strange to automatically default to raw. I get it but same time it was very strange.

That's why I search for "Anything Goes" or "Ask Me" escorts, and I always specifically ask if bareback is ok before confirming a meeting.  I'm not going to pay for anal with a condom.

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

On 9/11/2026 at 11:52 PM, Wings246 said:

I'm now conditioned to believe BB is the default standard unless specified otherwise in person (regardless of what's listed on the RM ad)

#MeToo, but I always ask upfront if Bareback is ok prior to confirming a meeting, because it's a bummer to have to cancel when the escort insists on a condom even though he advertised Anything Goes.

[+ Jamie21]

If fucking happens then my default is no condoms. I don’t have any anyway. For some reason (psychological) I lose firmness when wearing a condom. It’s probably something to do with being cut because the condom reduces sensitivity further. So I’ve just become accustomed to always topping bareback. 

[pubic_assistance]

On 9/11/2026 at 10:17 AM, PapaNuts said:

It’s very strange to automatically default to raw.

I think at one time...yes. That was true. But in today's world of pop-a-pill and let the dice roll....When you say you're on PreP - the expectation is that raw-dog is the standard offering. 

[+ PhileasFogg]

No condom is default for me and I’m very open, and willing to share very recent STD test results.

Where I have an issue is providers who don’t share that they’re poz and undetectable.  99% of the time I’m going to be ok with it unless I suspect substance abuse…but I feel I have the right to be informed.   But that’s a different story. 

[Mark_fl]

I think it's better to under-promise and over-deliver. If someone looks sketchy,  it's easier to say "I said safe only" than to say "I know I said anything goes, but I'm not comfortable with that."

[+ KensingtonHomo]

41 minutes ago, pubic_assistance said:

I think at one time...yes. That was true. But in today's world of pop-a-pill and let the dice roll....When you say you're on PreP - the expectation is that raw-dog is the standard offering. 

Yes, and this is especially true for anyone under 45. I don't mind getting fucked with a condom, but I'm not sucking rubber. Also, as the insertive partner, @PapaNuts HIV risk is virtually nil with PreP. I understand sex workers want to avoid other STIs as they're bad for business. But I'm tested regularly, and I'm not paying extra for bareback when, as a bottom, I'm assuming most of the risk. 

As someone who subs, I found this whole scene started off badly because the client didn't communicate their interests and boundaries. I don't know what your pre-meeting conversations were like, but it seems like he didn't tell you what he was into or what his boundaries were. 

[savantsav]

I actually had a terrible experience with one guy last week. After standing me up THREE Times, this guy finally shows up, we sit down and start chatting, he asks what I like, I tell him what I like and say "and prefer bb as I have all my vaccines, recent tests and am on prep and doxy". He said "I don't bareback", I said "that's fine we don't have to", but he was already BOLTING towards the door and said "This isn't gonna work" and left. In less than 5 minutes he not only blocked me from the sites, but he left me a review on MR NUMBER saying "Bareback dude".

I completely 100% understand the "I only play safe", is not an issue, boundaries are boundaries. The leaving a report on my profile with that was very off putting, and checking HIS Mr Number it was full of people reporting him for his aggressive attitude. 

[PapaNuts]

4 hours ago, Jamie21 said:

If fucking happens then my default is no condoms. I don’t have any anyway. For some reason (psychological) I lose firmness when wearing a condom. It’s probably something to do with being cut because the condom reduces sensitivity further. So I’ve just become accustomed to always topping bareback. 

Yeah I am uncut as well so condoms definitely mess with the sensitivity especially if the client doesn’t want to do a lot oral without a condom. It was interesting because he still texted to meet the following day but dudes energy was just off. I’d rather have a client who is respectful and communicative as much as I am. 

[+ JamesB]

4 hours ago, Jamie21 said:

It’s probably something to do with being cut because the condom reduces sensitivity further

Try putting a drop or two of lubricant on the tip of your penis before putting the condom on. That’s what I do when I’m asked to wear one and it works wonders for me

[muscmtl]

Been fukcking for 40yrs, never wore a condom, sooooo

[PapaNuts]

Just now, muscmtl said:

Been fukcking for 40yrs, never wore a condom, sooooo

Wow and out of those 40 yrs I hope you were frequently getting tested and being safe..

[PapaNuts]

33 minutes ago, savantsav said:

I actually had a terrible experience with one guy last week. After standing me up THREE Times, this guy finally shows up, we sit down and start chatting, he asks what I like, I tell him what I like and say "and prefer bb as I have all my vaccines, recent tests and am on prep and doxy". He said "I don't bareback", I said "that's fine we don't have to", but he was already BOLTING towards the door and said "This isn't gonna work" and left. In less than 5 minutes he not only blocked me from the sites, but he left me a review on MR NUMBER saying "Bareback dude".

I completely 100% understand the "I only play safe", is not an issue, boundaries are boundaries. The leaving a report on my profile with that was very off putting, and checking HIS Mr Number it was full of people reporting him for his aggressive attitude. 

Yeah I am sorry you went through that sounds like he wanted a quick way out instead of finding a middle ground to continue the fun! I’d always check Mr.Number before scheduling but sometimes it can be a little misleading or have wrong reviews. I had a client Mr number had bad reviews and he was my top paying regular so it’s different strokes for different folks. 

[PapaNuts]

2 hours ago, Mark_fl said:

I think it's better to under-promise and over-deliver. If someone looks sketchy,  it's easier to say "I said safe only" than to say "I know I said anything goes, but I'm not comfortable with that."

Very good response. 

[savantsav]

2 hours ago, PapaNuts said:

Yeah I am sorry you went through that sounds like he wanted a quick way out instead of finding a middle ground to continue the fun! I’d always check Mr.Number before scheduling but sometimes it can be a little misleading or have wrong reviews. I had a client Mr number had bad reviews and he was my top paying regular so it’s different strokes for different folks. 

and TBH I didn't care if it wasn't a match and he couldn't perform or what have you, it's all good.... it was the putting a report on my number after that was like WTF, why go to those lengths? 

He got one right back.

[+ KensingtonHomo]

7 hours ago, muscmtl said:

Been fukcking for 40yrs, never wore a condom, sooooo

This isn't a brag when those 40 years include the height of AIDS, which destroyed an entire generation of gay men. Condoms saved countless lives and helped us get to the point where we have PreP and DoxyPep.