What we look like - Why does it matter so much now?

[viewing ownly]

More and more people to be hired are REQUIRING to send a face pic to be seen. Describing what we look like doesn't cut it like it used to.

If we looked as good as the people we're hiring, we wouldn't be hiring, so what sense does it make? I'm batting zero with the few I've had ask to send a pic of myself, and had communication go any further on their end. But, I'm seeing it so often now I feel like I'm having to stick with those that haven't tired of me quite yet whom I've already seen.

[Aaron 90]

50 minutes ago, viewing ownly said:

More and more people to be hired are REQUIRING to send a face pic to be seen. Describing what we look like doesn't cut it like it used to.

If we looked as good as the people we're hiring, we wouldn't be hiring, so what sense does it make? I'm batting zero with the few I've had ask to send a pic of myself, and had communication go any further on their end. But, I'm seeing it so often now I feel like I'm having to stick with those that haven't tired of me quite yet whom I've already seen.

I've also experienced this often lately. Not liking the trend. Unprofessional 

[mike carey]

Do I sense a dead horse being beaten?

[56harrisond]

 

[Bobozn]

I haven't experienced this yet. Is this more towards Deli than Masseurs? I agree with what you said about us not even thinking about how we look if we're looking towards hiring them. That's kind of the whole point of the experience.

[DMonDude]

2 hours ago, Aaron 90 said:

I've also experienced this often lately. Not liking the trend. Unprofessional 

Would you call a restaurant with a dress code unprofessional? You only see this as unprofessional because you're miffed you aren't being let in to the restaurant, not because the practice is actually unprofessional. We aren't owed service, even in this industry, and businesses have the right to refuse service to whomever. Just go to a different restaurant without a dress code. The ones that have been around longer than 18-24 years usually don't have one.

Edited Monday at 05:51 AM by DMonDude

[viewing ownly]

1 hour ago, DMonDude said:

Would you call a restaurant with a dress code unprofessional? You only see this as unprofessional because you're miffed you aren't being let in to the restaurant, not because the practice is actually unprofessional. We aren't owed service, even in this industry, and businesses have the right to refuse service to whomever. Just go to a different restaurant without a dress code. The ones that have been around longer than 18-24 years usually don't have one.

Restaurants that have dress codes - the few that are left due to the mass revolt of society - spell it out with guests ahead of time. I'll think everything is fine and great when I attempt to book a massage appointment, and get sprung on me that I need to send a face pic to proceed. Why can't I just let them know what I'm going to be wearing to identify me? WE"RE the ones who have a right to be picky - we're choosing them, not the other way around!

[+ Jamie21]

1 hour ago, viewing ownly said:

we're choosing them, not the other way around!

That’s not quite true though is it. The guys requiring a face pic are choosing you. These guys aren’t really escorts; they’re guys who have discovered they can monetise their sex life. Is that going to be a fun session? 

[acks0104]

It sucks but they're also doing you a favor because you're not going to end up booking a session that would have been bad

[Nue2thegame]

5 hours ago, Bobozn said:

I haven't experienced this yet. Is this more towards Deli than Masseurs? I agree with what you said about us not even thinking about how we look if we're looking towards hiring them. That's kind of the whole point of the experience.

For the masseurs, it’s easy.  Just submit a pic of your back. 

Edited Monday at 11:18 AM by Nue2thegame

[DznNYC]

4 hours ago, Jamie21 said:

That’s not quite true though is it. The guys requiring a face pic are choosing you. These guys aren’t really escorts; they’re guys who have discovered they can monetise their sex life. Is that going to be a fun session? 

 

THIS!  He's absolutely right.  There are lots of guys out there attempting to monetize their sex life, and that doesn't make them escorts.  And that doesn't mean you have to hire them.  When an early concern is, "Are you hot enough to be with your provider?" that's not a question that easily goes away.  That sounds like a great way to spend a few high dollar hours totally stressed out.

A good provider will ask you lots of questions in advance, in hopes of learning about you and what you enjoy.  But the red flag is when those questions veer into demographics - age, race, body type, cock size, etc.  Yes, I decide whether or not we meet.  But I'm deciding based on whether or not I think I'm the best provider to give you the experience you're looking for.  Not based on any of your externals.  Typically, I go into new client situations 100% ignorant to those demographic questions.  I'm literally blind to who will open the door or appear in the hotel lobby.  This isn't meant as a brag or a flex.  This is just to say that we're out there.  There actually are providers who won't put you through that shit. 

It just means you have to keep searching.  

Edited Monday at 01:36 PM by DznNYC

[viewing ownly]

4 hours ago, acks0104 said:

It sucks but they're also doing you a favor because you're not going to end up booking a session that would have been bad

That's implying that it automatically will go well if I pass their personal "look good enough to be seen" test.

Look, we as choosers often can tell from a profile ahead of time if it would be a disaster before it becomes one. If he's 22, puts "sup" (figuring that's short for what's up?), has his forked tongue sticking out, claims to be a great masseuse, and has green dyed hair, I know better! 

Advertisers are welcome to put restrictions in their ad without a care as to how shallow that comes off. It is disrespectful on our end to challenge their own limitations, but when there doesn't appear to be any, perhaps they should consider in their ad that they require a face pic to save us the frustration.

[Mark_fl]

A face pic is a ridiculous request. I will say if there is something unusual about you that could be shocking or a turn-off,  it would be wise to let them know in advance, for both of your sakes. You won't feel rejected and he won't have to hide a shock.

Personally, I'm VERY hairy. I know it's not that abnormal, but I do let them know. It's never been a problem, but one provider told me I was the hairiest guy he'd ever seen. ;).

I think it's just courtesy.  If it's a real turn off for him (as it would be for me), he can politely decline.

[mtaabq]

Good morning. It would appear that my take on it is very different. I’ve always assumed that I was being asked for a pic so the provider would know for whom he was opening his door or whom he could expect when the door was opened when he arrives for the session. I’m sure there are providers who’ve chosen not to work with me upon seeing my photo or reading my profile. And, for me, that’s all right. I do not wish to work with someone who doesn’t wish to work with me. Apologies if I do not have a firm grasp on the topic being discussed. 

[+ Just Chuck]

I think there’s more than one motivation to ask for the face pic.  I’ve met trans men and women and also physically smaller providers who’ve told me that they do that for safety.  Although, I’m not sure if they’d know if it’s a fake photo.

I think the bigger percentage of providers who ask for a photo are indeed screening to see if the client isn’t too much of a turn off for them.  I’m guessing they are not providers as a full time source of income.  I’ve met college students and people with full-time day jobs who take on some extra gig jobs but only when they sound appealing enough.

[Nue2thegame]

38 minutes ago, Mark_fl said:

A face pic is a ridiculous request. I will say if there is something unusual about you that could be shocking or a turn-off,  it would be wise to let them know in advance, for both of your sakes. You won't feel rejected and he won't have to hide a shock.

Personally, I'm VERY hairy. I know it's not that abnormal, but I do let them know. It's never been a problem, but one provider told me I was the hairiest guy he'd ever seen. ;).

 

I share your pain. I had one who told me that I have the biggest cock he’s ever seen but I’m pretty sure he says that to everybody. 

[JMatt]

If that's a requirement, then my response is to politely decline.   That's a sign to me that it wouldn't be a good fit and it's time to move on.  

[maninsoma]

11 hours ago, DMonDude said:

Would you call a restaurant with a dress code unprofessional? You only see this as unprofessional because you're miffed you aren't being let in to the restaurant, not because the practice is actually unprofessional. We aren't owed service, even in this industry, and businesses have the right to refuse service to whomever. Just go to a different restaurant without a dress code. The ones that have been around longer than 18-24 years usually don't have one.

Well, if a provider wants to have the equivalent of a dress code then he should just spell that out in his ad, e.g., you must be under 40 and have a BMI under 25.  It shouldn't be "send me your photo and I'll tell you if you qualify."  That would be like a restaurant telling patrons they must submit a photo of themselves dressed in the attire they plan to wear, and then the restaurant deciding whether it meets their standards which haven't been spelled out in advance.  Restaurants that have dress codes typically spell them out quite clearly, e.g., men must wear coat and tie, and take the risk that a diner will have horrible taste and show up in a 1970s leisure suit.

[acks0104]

8 hours ago, viewing ownly said:

That's implying that it automatically will go well if I pass their personal "look good enough to be seen" test

It's not implying that booking a session means it'll be a good one. It's stating that if they were to just let you book anyway you'd probably have a bad session. 

No one likes being rejected, but I'd rather be rejected than pay for an escort who can't or won't deliver on a decent session because he's not into me 

[Austin Lewis]

The one time I had a provider ask for something like this (a video chat on WhatsApp), my heart sank. I'm not much to look at, and I don't exactly make up for it with overwhelming charm. But he was incredibly hot, so I gave it a shot. Whatever it was he was looking for, I guess he got it, since we met and have continued to meet whenever he's in my area.

[d.anders]

16 hours ago, DMonDude said:

Would you call a restaurant with a dress code unprofessional?

Sorry, but that analogy doesn't work for me. "Dress code" in a restaurant is an instruction, it's not a judgment. Restaurants don't care about who made your dinner jacket, or how you look in it, as long as you're wearing one. This is not the same thing as a sex worker attempting to discriminate based on looks.

[Pd1_jap]

43 minutes ago, d.anders said:

Sorry, but that analogy doesn't work for me. "Dress code" in a restaurant is an instruction, it's not a judgment. Restaurants don't care about who made your dinner jacket, or how you look in it, as long as you're wearing one. This is not the same thing as a sex worker attempting to discriminate based on looks.

A better metaphor would be a bouncer at a night club. They have the authority to turn away people who are not aesthetically appealing. 

Honestly, if an escort won't be able to perform for me I would rather not have that experience. It's a good way to screen out those who would not be a good fit. 

[marylander1940]

20 hours ago, viewing ownly said:

More and more people to be hired are REQUIRING to send a face pic to be seen. Describing what we look like doesn't cut it like it used to.

If we looked as good as the people we're hiring, we wouldn't be hiring, so what sense does it make? I'm batting zero with the few I've had ask to send a pic of myself, and had communication go any further on their end. But, I'm seeing it so often now I feel like I'm having to stick with those that haven't tired of me quite yet whom I've already seen.

 

[marylander1940]

Whoever starts escorting and refuses "business" to old, fat, ugly, and socially awkward is in the wrong kind of business!

I'm not saying all clients could "click" in one of these categories, but some might click on several thought... and a few on none. 

Edited Monday at 11:52 PM by marylander1940

[soloyo215]

I don't send my picture, and I don't do deposits. If I don't do business with them, providers are like subways, there's always a next.