*Yet another warning about deposits

[JB_Studio38]

12 minutes ago, Whoisyourdaddy said:

Correct. All of the guys who recently flaked on me didn't ask for a deposit. Thank gawd. 

So that should be an epiphany for all the guys on here dissing deposits: that it’s more at play than just a deposit.

From my experience, it’s nothing to do with deposits. But moreso the drugs, the hookup apps, the overall flakiness in the gay dating/hookup culture. A deposit shouldn’t be any different than asking for payment: and I can truthfully say right now, there’s a lot of hate towards escorts right now even outside of this forum (which is fairly mild and petty). 

The fakes and flakes, have really messed up the game for genuine guys…some who have left because now even the client pool is tainted with flakes. But that’s a by product of people mixing hookup app culture with legitimate escort biz, and just fucking up the whole game.
 

[Tajoki]

To me deposits themselves aren’t really the issue here. It really comes down to booking risk.

As clients, we worry about being scammed or ghosted after sending money. On the other side, providers worry about driving across town, booking hotels, or blocking out time only for the client to disappear. In a way both sides are just trying to shift the risk to the other side.

From a client perspective, the more useful question isn’t really “deposit or no deposit,” but who you’re sending it to and why. A new provider with no reviews? Probably no deposit. Someone well reviewed, or a longer booking or travel involved? A small deposit can make sense.

For me it’s less about hard rules and more about risk management. Every booking ends up being its own decision.

[Mark_fl]

Sorry, but no. No deposits. Sure escorts flake. Clients flake. Should clients ask for a refundable deposit if they get a hotel room or cancel other plans in order to meet the escort? You know,  just in case they no show or have to cancel at the last minute?

No? I didn't think so. All the reasons an escort would want a deposit apply in that case, but I'll bet you would never send a client a deposit if he was getting a room for your meet-up.

Face it. Everyone's time is valuable and trust is a two way street.  

No depsoits.

[+ JamesB]

2 hours ago, PhileasFogg said:

Can someone PM the instructions for blocking someone…I’ve tried to find them three times 

https://www.companyofmen.org/topic/151324-steps-on-how-to-block-a-member-of-this-site-from-your-feed/#comment-2284845

[JB_Studio38]

11 minutes ago, Mark_fl said:

Sorry, but no. No deposits. Sure escorts flake. Clients flake. Should clients ask for a refundable deposit if they get a hotel room or cancel other plans in order to meet the escort? You know,  just in case they no show or have to cancel at the last minute?

No? I didn't think so. All the reasons an escort would want a deposit apply in that case, but I'll bet you would never send a client a deposit if he was getting a room for your meet-up.

Face it. Everyone's time is valuable and trust is a two way street.  

No depsoits.

What in the actual 🦆uck? 🤣 

First of all, that makes zero sense. Secondly, you’re stuck on the premise that the financial risk is equal. 

You think an escort should spend $79-$100 on a profile, with only the potential to meet a client AND provide that client with payment to cover a hotel? All the while the escort may not be in the same financial bracket as the client?

Thats like instacart, offering to pay for your hotel so you can cook the food that you order, without paying them for it first of course. Try that, and let me know how it works out for you. 

Edited yesterday at 04:59 AM by JB_Studio38

[Mark_fl]

Just now, JB_Studio38 said:

What in the actual the 🦆uck? 🤣 

First of all, that makes zero sense. Secondly, you’re stuck on the premise that the financial risk is equal. 

You think an escort should spend $79-$100 on a profile, with only the potential to meet a client AND provide that client with payment to cover a hotel? All the while the escort may not be in the same financial bracket as the client?

Please tell me you’re kidding me. 

My bad. I didn't realize we were supposed to exchange 1040s before figuring out who should take the risk. Wait. I guess that won't work, as I expect the vast majority of escorts aren't paying income tax on it.

And no, the financial risk isn't equal. The one sending the deposit is assuming the risk. If a provider is working from home, or a hotel he's staying at for multiple clients, he is already assuming expenses. 

If the client is paying for a hotel already, he isn't out additional funds either. But if the client is paying for a room just for this,  he even has more financial risk, so I guess you would be willing to assume an equal share?

And ehat you spend on a profile is not per client. Its spread across an entire months' worth, so you're talking about a few dollars each if you have multiple clients a month. Tell me you're actually kidding with the cost of placing your ad as the justification for a deposit.

[jeezifonly]

1 hour ago, JB_Studio38 said:

So you just basically confirmed that it doesn’t really have nothing to do with deposits? Because it sounds like those guys ghosted and cancelled last minute even when there wasn’t deposit talks being made?

[mike carey]

25 minutes ago, jeezifonly said:

Fix me another manhattan.

[JB_Studio38]

 

54 minutes ago, Mark_fl said:

My bad. I didn't realize we were supposed to exchange 1040s before figuring out who should take the risk. Wait. I guess that won't work, as I expect the vast majority of escorts aren't paying income tax on it.

And no, the financial risk isn't equal. The one sending the deposit is assuming the risk. If a provider is working from home, or a hotel he's staying at for multiple clients, he is already assuming expenses. 

If the client is paying for a hotel already, he isn't out additional funds either. But if the client is paying for a room just for this,  he even has more financial risk, so I guess you would be willing to assume an equal share?

And ehat you spend on a profile is not per client. Its spread across an entire months' worth, so you're talking about a few dollars each if you have multiple clients a month. Tell me you're actually kidding with the cost of placing your ad as the justification for a deposit.

Goodbye…you’re a man full of assumptions, non of which accurately portray escorts in the industry. If that’s how you feel though, perhaps don’t book people that you subliminally feel animosity towards.

[mrkileen]

On 3/4/2026 at 12:05 PM, Mark_fl said:

Providers: clients who won't send a deposit aren't serious and time wasters

Clients: providers who ask for deposits are likely scamming and not serious about their profession. 

Oh, what a tangled web we weave. I guess we'll both have to decide if we're desperate enough to break the cardinal rule of our 'side'.

I know I'm not. Maybe it's because I'm pretty open to conversation and showing I'm "real," or maybe because Im clear that I pay cash only, but I've never been asked for a deposit or that would be the end of the conversation. 

If you're in New York, Chicago, SF or Vegas deposits make sense because it's quite a journey for the provider to come to you

[JB_Studio38]

26 minutes ago, mrkileen said:

If you're in New York, Chicago, SF or Vegas deposits make sense because it's quite a journey for the provider to come to you

In my experience: deposits can make sense anywhere. Just last month, I had someone book a session 1.5 miles from where I was staying. As mentioned in my other post, it was a same day booking where I also had to book a hotel (I was bunking in a friends place but we agreed I wouldn’t have clients over, people are funny about that…just like some clients don’t like to host from their homes).

It wouldn’t make any sense to run off and book a room, unless I had a confirmed client. I also don’t like the idea of booking a room and just “waiting around” for nobody to show up. In his case, he couldn’t send a deposit so I offered instead to have him meet me at the hotel and exchange the cash deposit in person. All worked out accordingly. 

The other 2 clients arranged deposits as instructed, and all was well with that too. Granted, this was a town that hasn’t been plagued by deposit scams like some cities have. 

[+ PhileasFogg]

5 hours ago, JB_Studio38 said:

What in the actual 🦆uck? 🤣 

First of all, that makes zero sense. Secondly, you’re stuck on the premise that the financial risk is equal. 

You think an escort should spend $79-$100 on a profile, with only the potential to meet a client AND provide that client with payment to cover a hotel? All the while the escort may not be in the same financial bracket as the client?

Thats like instacart, offering to pay for your hotel so you can cook the food that you order, without paying them for it first of course. Try that, and let me know how it works out for you.

This is beginning to sound like the experience I shared above with skyler in New Orleans. His attitude is “I deserve it, you have it, therefore it’s mine to keep.”   Or young RM name “Kaiden_Foxx” who ghosted me days before a weeklong trip to NYC (that was expensive!). Or “Tyler P,” the Northeastern Grad Student who texted me and then blocked me as I was driving to pick him up at the airport saying he wasn’t on the plane and was getting off RM for good (that was an $800 plane ticket I didn’t get back)   What about my means justifies their actions?  The aggregate loss on those three examples is nearly $6K.

Your Instacart example is ridiculous.  They deliver the goods before they’re paid.   If there’s a problem, I make a call and get a refund.

You have an odd and entitled perspective that I suspect bleeds into your interactions with clients.   I encourage you to stick only to the profile you seek and stop complaining about the rest. 
 

 

I figured out the mitigation on the plane tickets - first time encounters are booked with miles.   Then, if it’s cancelled, the credit comes back to me in miles and not eCredit to the ticket holder…but there are still other costs at risk like hotels, dinner reservations, show tickets, etc.  But the moment I start making reservations, I have much more at risk than a provider deposit.  

[+ PhileasFogg]

Gracias to @liubit for guiding me.   Time to move on

 

[+ bcbg1205]

A deposit alternative: once I was asked to send one and declined. I told the provider we could meet in a bar near me and I would put the requested deposit on the table for him. It was his whether we clicked or not. We had a beer, got to know each other, and went to my place. I realize this won't always work. 

[KeepItReal]

8 minutes ago, bcbg1205 said:

A deposit alternative: once I was asked to send one and declined. I told the provider we could meet in a bar near me and I would put the requested deposit on the table for him. It was his whether we clicked or not. We had a beer, got to know each other, and went to my place. I realize this won't always work. 

You should always meet a first time companion at a bar of coffee shop before you take him home anyway.  Use your common sense and be safe out there, you horny goats! 🐐 

[Mark_fl]

7 hours ago, JB_Studio38 said:

 perhaps don’t book people that you subliminally feel animosity towards.

So glad you are against assumptions. Hypocrisy is always amusing. Lol

[Nue2thegame]

14 hours ago, bcbg1205 said:

A deposit alternative: once I was asked to send one and declined. I told the provider we could meet in a bar near me and I would put the requested deposit on the table for him. It was his whether we clicked or not. We had a beer, got to know each other, and went to my place. I realize this won't always work. 

The logic of the provider here is curious. One of the most common rationales offered for requiring a deposit is to weed out time wasters. What bigger waste of time (for him) than to go to a bar looking for someone who might not show up. 

Edited 21 hours ago by Nue2thegame

[Mark_fl]

9 minutes ago, Nue2thegame said:

The logic of the provider here is curious. One of the most common rationales offered for requiring a deposit is to weed out time wasters. What bigger waste of time (for him) is to go to a bar looking for someone who might not show up. 

Good point. It shows why providers requiring deposits reeks of desperation or possibly a drug problem, as indicated earlier.

Successful businesspeople aren't so desperate. I just had a freezer repair guy check something out on my freezer. Told me to wait a few days and if that solved the problem,  he'd bill me, otherwise he'd come back and replace the component. Didn’t charge me until he knew the work was completed successfully.  This is how you know you are dealing with a reputable company.

[josh282282]

A NOT BEFORE DISCUSSED REASON TO SAY NO TO DEPOSITS:

Hi all again.

Many men on this thread on the debate of deposit/no deposit have read the unfortunate tales of victimization that some of our community members have described when they provided a deposit in the past- the escort took their deposit money and ran.  Its a horrible experience to be a victim. 

Consider this:

There ARE criminals out there.  And they seek out vulnerable and seemingly weak victims.  And many people in society think gay/bi men are weak.  Even if you disagree we are a weak people, many others will disagree with you. 

Many of us were victimized in our youth by a society that despised gay men or any boy with seemingly weaker attributes.  Tragically, being bullied and harmed is not a rare event for many gay men in their past history.

Yet, when you provide a deposit, this actually creates more gay/bi victims.

And these victims are your brothers. 

Why? You know when you travel out of the country and go to that wonderful "tourist" spot?  The part of the city where its charming & quaint, full of history and beauty?  Sad to say, but they often are full of pick-pockets and criminals.  Why?  Because tourists are easy prey.  They come in "vacation" mode: not paying attention, drinking too much, ignoring clues around them, looking very "touristy".  If Americans only worked on not acting so, well, touristy in these areas, the crime might go down!

When criminals think of gay and bi men, they may think we are weak and easy prey.  Then they hear from here and there how easy it is to put up a Rentmen profile & advertise escort services.  Then when approached online by one of us, they demand a deposit.   We give in because their effort seems well meaning, they seem well spoken, and promises you he just needs "reassurance" with a deposit.  You send the deposit but he runs.  Another victim. 

And that criminal is bragging and laughing about his exploits to his shady friends.  ("OMG, that stupid idiot actually sent me $100 online....!!!!").  Birds of feather flock together- these are crooks. 

And the more the escorting community for gay men is full of guys who WILL pay a deposit, the escorting pool attracts more and more shady criminals who want to steal from and victimize us.  Sure, there are escorts who are genuine and provide their services with a deposit with no problem!  But word of mouth/advertising of deposits make our hiring community like a tourist hot spot in a beautiful country: a place for criminals to go to target easy prey.   Ruins everything. 

So don't think just because you paid a deposit and your particular escort is honest that that choice alone does not add to the problem.  It does.  It makes all of us who hire more at risk for others to victimize and harm us, just like acting like a tourist in touristy areas makes those areas less safe.  Escorts who take deposits and run inevitably provide (if they show up) bad service to us.   They are not going to do all the things you want them to do.  They will be horrible providers.  They only want our cash.  We dont want to encourage them to advertise escort services. 

Protect not only yourself (NO DEPOSITS!) but protect your brothers and this wonderful hiring community-  no deposits!!

You want a safer place for gay/bi men?  Help create a community that is not making itself a target.

"Be the change you wish to see in the world"  Mahatma Gandhi

Love to all

Josh

 

PS:  to all escorts- many of you are genuine, good at what you do, and oh-so-much-fun.  You would never harm any one of us.  And you dont demand deposits!  Dont ever change.  You are beautiful. 

 

[mike carey]

Ladies and Gentlemen, a gentle reminder to maintain civility in this thread and to refrain from overly aggressive back and forth responses. Opinions both ways about deposits have been canvassed extensively, and while new insights are welcome, endless restating of your fervently held opinions soon descends into trolling, and that serves none of us well. 

[JB_Studio38]

I want to make one more example of the escort side of things, and I’m leaving it here: yesterday I agreed to do something that I stopped doing long time ago, and that’s meeting a new client without a deposit.

Now, unlike others here who are just talking and making excuses about not paying deposits: I actually have a real time visual example of what can actually happen. I agreed to meet a guy who didn’t know how to do deposits, and was giving him benefit of the doubt since he was an older guy near a town I offer appointments to:

 

Question #1: everyone sees I said the price is $400, right?

Question #2: everyone sees I said it takes me an hour+ from where I am to drive to his location, right? 
 

So tell me WHY ON EARTH this dude (client) tells me when an hour into my commute to him , talking on the phone asking, “it’s $75 for 75 minutes right 🤦🏽‍♂️ “ I was like, this is EXACTLY WHY I require deposits in the first place. 

 

HERES THE KICKER (no pun intended):

The guy also never mentioned he was disabled, unable to walk, in a wheelchair and had 1 leg. Thats not shaming someone’s medical condition BUT, all of that plays into the RECURRING traumatic surprises that we have to deal with. I was not expecting to escort a disabled man for $75, but it also wouldn’t have been any better to drive 2 hours round trip for nothing.

I went ahead and showed up anyway, but thankfully, he managed to agree to additional funds after a good hard conversation (no pun intended), where I showed him my website with my rates listed, but still not enough for my 75 minute session but enough for 20 minutes. And then he came up with a little more for another 15 minutes. Still not the $400 I initially agreed to drive the hour+ for.

But that’s the type of miscommunications I like to avoid. If a deposit helps in assuring the client is APPROVED for meeting, my work is done.

Deposits are not punitive. Deposits are not taking it out on other clients. Deposits are not scams. Deposits are not a front for a drug addiction or greed or any of the hearsay that is being mentioned.
 

Deposits when asked by legit escorts, are to ensure the client and I are on the same page. It ensures I’m not wasting my time with the barrage of inquiries that come thru to us. 
 

Question for all the deposit naysayers: if you had to multiply the amount of times you had someone flake on your deposit by 365 days a year: would you still be an escort and not take a deposit? Think about it. You probably only hire every so often. You’re not posted up 24/7/365 taking inquiries from men who don’t even know what they look like. 
 

I kindly ask the forum community, to not spread inaccurate propaganda about deposits and providers who require deposits. There’s nothing that can excuse that attitude, until you walk a mile or 2 in an escort’s…condom 🎤 

[ericwinters]

On 3/6/2026 at 2:39 PM, purplekow said:

My feeling about deposits.  If the escort asks, I either say yes or no.  I say yes to a small deposit to cover the cost of travel to my location if the escort has good reviews or a personal recommendation from a client.  I say no otherwise.   I have guidelines not rules and I utilize those guidelines when it comes to a deposit.   To whom am I giving it?  Is the amount reasonable considering the service?  Am I willing to write off the money without anger,  if he does not show?  How cooperative has the escort been in other arrangements?  

They can ask.  I can say yes or no.  For me, there really is no other discussion needed on this topic.

Ahhh, the elasticity of guidelines… impressive how far they can bend. But I agree. 😁

[jeezifonly]

9 hours ago, JB_Studio38 said:

I want to make one more example of the escort side of things, and I’m leaving it here: yesterday I agreed to do something that I stopped doing long time ago, and that’s meeting a new client without a deposit.

Now, unlike others here who are just talking and making excuses about not paying deposits: I actually have a real time visual example of what can actually happen. I agreed to meet a guy who didn’t know how to do deposits, and was giving him benefit of the doubt since he was an older guy near a town I offer appointments to:

 

Question #1: everyone sees I said the price is $400, right?

Question #2: everyone sees I said it takes me an hour+ from where I am to drive to his location, right? 
 

So tell me WHY ON EARTH this dude (client) tells me when an hour into my commute to him , talking on the phone asking, “it’s $75 for 75 minutes right 🤦🏽‍♂️ “ I was like, this is EXACTLY WHY I require deposits in the first place. 

 

HERES THE KICKER (no pun intended):

The guy also never mentioned he was disabled, unable to walk, in a wheelchair and had 1 leg. Thats not shaming someone’s medical condition BUT, all of that plays into the RECURRING traumatic surprises that we have to deal with. I was not expecting to escort a disabled man for $75, but it also wouldn’t have been any better to drive 2 hours round trip for nothing.

I went ahead and showed up anyway, but thankfully, he managed to agree to additional funds after a good hard conversation (no pun intended), where I showed him my website with my rates listed, but still not enough for my 75 minute session but enough for 20 minutes. And then he came up with a little more for another 15 minutes. Still not the $400 I initially agreed to drive the hour+ for.

But that’s the type of miscommunications I like to avoid. If a deposit helps in assuring the client is APPROVED for meeting, my work is done.

Deposits are not punitive. Deposits are not taking it out on other clients. Deposits are not scams. Deposits are not a front for a drug addiction or greed or any of the hearsay that is being mentioned.
 

Deposits when asked by legit escorts, are to ensure the client and I are on the same page. It ensures I’m not wasting my time with the barrage of inquiries that come thru to us. 
 

Question for all the deposit naysayers: if you had to multiply the amount of times you had someone flake on your deposit by 365 days a year: would you still be an escort and not take a deposit? Think about it. You probably only hire every so often. You’re not posted up 24/7/365 taking inquiries from men who don’t even know what they look like. 
 

I kindly ask the forum community, to not spread inaccurate propaganda about deposits and providers who require deposits. There’s nothing that can excuse that attitude, until you walk a mile or 2 in an escort’s…condom 🎤 

Just like Tess McGill, JB has a Head for business and a Bod for sin. You work, Girl! 💸💰