Communication turn-ons and turn-offs

[Mark_fl]

Just curious how everyone feels about what they like and don't like in communication with their provider or client.

I reached out to a guy I hope to meet ina couple of weeks and he started calling me stuff like "sexy boy" and kiss and heart emojis. I am 60 and pretty average. It just screams phony to me, and turns me off, so I asked him to stop.

Is this part of the fantasy for some guys? I know most providers are acting, but that's too much, at least for me. I want a real-feeling connection,  not smoke up my ass.

What sort of things do you guys like and not like in communication?

[56harrisond]

A previous discussion 

 

[Nue2thegame]

Call me anything but late for dinner. I don’t really care if I’m called , Papi, honey, beast or several other labels I’ve heard. For me it’s more revealing of how the provider looks at prospective clients than it reflects who I am. 

[+ KensingtonHomo]

I'm not into guys who immediately jump to "bro speak." Like calling me "bud," "buddy," "bro." I'm both too mature and too femme to be anyone's "bro." I assume that it's part of the "masc for masc" fantasy that so many guys are into, but it's a turn-off. Similarly, "Daddy" is a huge turn-off. 

I tell guys my name in my initial message. For me, the safest thing is to address me that way. 

 

[theplayerking]

In Asia, many providers end every sentence with “dear.” It’s probably a cultural thing, but I find it off putting. 

[DMonDude]

For some people I'm sure it is part of the fantasy. They want the attention from the provider and to get flirted with and be called pet names and stuff. Stuff some of us aren't getting in real life from guys. I'm mostly with you though, the heart emojis and "babe"/"sexy"/etc doesn't really do anything for me cause it's the thinnest part of the veil of what they're doing if that makes sense. Especially if they start calling you that kind of stuff before they've even actually seen you, it kind of immediately pops the bubble in my suspension of disbelief. Though i do think it can be "earned" though as you get more familiar with a provider over time/sessions.

It doesn't truly bother me except for "daddy" though, i actively dislike being called daddy cause I'm one of the few people who has never taken to the sexual connotations of "daddy". Daddy to me just means, my father, and that's not what i want coming to mind when texting/talking to/being physical with a provider (or any guy). I also don't like it because, as a millennial, i just don't feel old enough to have earned the moniker even if i was into it haha.

[jmichaeliii]

I think it depends on the provider.  I have one where we both use the emojis and terms of endearment.  Hes a naturally sweet person and I love being around him and he does things to me that rock my world, so it may be a little over the top, but I like it.

Then I have others that are more businesslike.  And thats Ok too.  Its just their style.

[Mark_fl]

6 minutes ago, DMonDude said:

For some people I'm sure it is part of the fantasy. They want the attention from the provider and to get flirted with and be called pet names and stuff. Stuff some of us aren't getting in real life from guys. I'm mostly with you though, the heart emojis and "babe"/"sexy"/etc doesn't really do anything for me cause it's the thinnest part of the veil of what they're doing if that makes sense. Especially if they start calling you that kind of stuff before they've 

It doesn't truly bother me except for "daddy" though, i actively dislike being called daddy cause I'm one of the few people who has never taken to the sexual connotations of "daddy". Daddy to me just means, my father, and that's not what i want coming to mind when texting/talking to/being physical with a provider.

Yeah, the 'daddy' thing always seemed weird to me with a girl or guy it just smells like incest to me. 🤢

[Mark_fl]

7 minutes ago, jmichaeliii said:

I think it depends on the provider.  I have one where we both use the emojis and terms of endearment. 

I think once you have a relationship, that can be fine. But sight unseen, before meeting, its just cloying to me.

[SecretProvider]

Turn off - Clients reaching out as if they as talking to someone on grindr with one or two word questions.  eg.

what u into? rates? available? u party?  u host? more pics? looking? u travel to *insert random town in another state in the middle of nowhere*  

(most of the answers to theses questions are available on our profiles btw) 

Messages that just want to chit chat and talk about things other than logistics about an appointments.  (save that talk for our date) 

Turn on - communication that shows kindness and respect - for eg. messages with full sentences that have show you have read our profiles. Respect our time by stating the time frame you are looking to hire within, and letting us know what it is you are looking to do ( not just say 'I'm looking for fun' maybe next month) 

 

[Nightowl]

My main communication turnoff is phoniness.  Don’t compliment me, use affectionate nicknames or say anything else unless you mean it.

[+ Jamie21]

First time a client called me ‘daddy’ it was a shock. It happened at a delicate moment during the session and he said ‘breed me daddy’. I was so surprised by it that his request almost immediately became impossible for me 😂. It’s a big shock. Now of course I embrace it but the first time it’s like having a bucket of cold water poured over your head. 

The main off putting thing now is when guys say ‘babe’ or ‘girl’ such as ‘you go girl’ or refer to my bum as my ‘pussy or they use other feminine words’. I’m not female! 
 

[SecretProvider]

14 minutes ago, Jamie21 said:

First time a client called me ‘daddy’ it was a shock. It happened at a delicate moment during the session and he said ‘breed me daddy’. I was so surprised by it that his request almost immediately became impossible for me 😂. It’s a big shock. Now of course I embrace it but the first time it’s like having a bucket of cold water poured over your head. 

This happened to me for the first time just this week!  Literally just a few days ago. It threw me so much we actually had to stop and re-start all over again - right back to kissing to build it back up (literally) to a point where I could finish.  I'm no where near my Daddy days yet, no thank you. 

[+ purplekow]

Often I think babe or daddy is because they forgot your name.  I like for them to Call Me by MY Name.     I agree, I do not have feminine parts and neither do they, so lets call an ass an ass and a penis any one of a dozen things but skip pussy.  I see a guy regularly now who uses lots of emojis and pet names but he is young and I find it cute with him.  Most others, would rather they skip it.  

I do enjoy a good flattering lie.  So during passion I like things such as you are the best, oh my god it feels so good and please do not ever stop.  I know they are just things that are said and at times they make me laugh to myself but in general at the time, I enjoy it.  

[Braziliancutee]

I hate when some client start comparing me with another escort. Or asking about my clients or how much i earn. Or showing all the guys that he meet before without I ask. kind of make me feel so cheap.

(sometimes I talk about experiences with some clients but it happens when we already have more intimacy)

And turn on, I really love when my client spoil me. Make me feel special and really don’t care about money issues. When I am having a dinner with him and even when I know that I am not gonna eat a lot but I love when he say “order whatever you want”. Or don’t mind to pay my uber and those things. Bc I am not the type of guy who stay looking the hour. Sometimes I stay a little bit more just for fun if I am enjoying.

[Braziliancutee]

And I love when my clients call me babe i think sexy

[Jay17403]

The pet names are the worse. I really hate that-I typically just move on to the next guy.

[jmichaeliii]

1 hour ago, Jamie21 said:

First time a client called me ‘daddy’ it was a shock. It happened at a delicate moment during the session and he said ‘breed me daddy’. I was so surprised by it that his request almost immediately became impossible for me 😂. It’s a big shock. Now of course I embrace it but the first time it’s like having a bucket of cold water poured over your head. 

The main off putting thing now is when guys say ‘babe’ or ‘girl’ such as ‘you go girl’ or refer to my bum as my ‘pussy or they use other feminine words’. I’m not female! 
 

I had a younger guy use the daddy term with me in a heated moment.  I am 58 and he was 24.  

We talked about it and he told me that he was loving the fact that we were wrapped in each other's arms kissing and touching, etc.   He felt warm and loved versus the quicky fuck.  I have found lately that the younger guys i have met with like a session steered in that direction but wont just do it on their own.

[+ JamesB]

4 hours ago, theplayerking said:

In Asia, many providers end every sentence with “dear.” It’s probably a cultural thing, but I find it off putting. 

 

This right here. I still remember the first time I hired an Asian provider and he called me “dear” a couple of times. At first I thought, WTH? But over time, after hiring several providers from Asia, I realized it’s simply a cultural/language thing. Now it doesn’t bother me at all. In fact, one of my regular providers is Asian and uses “dear” quite often, and honestly, I’ve grown to enjoy it.

[Mark_fl]

1 hour ago, jmichaeliii said:

We talked about it and he told me that he was loving the fact that we were wrapped in each other's arms kissing and touching, etc.   He felt warm and loved versus the quicky fuck.  I have found lately that the younger guys i have met with like a session steered in that direction but wont just do it on their own.

It's not just the younger ones.

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

5 hours ago, KensingtonHomo said:

I'm not into guys who immediately jump to "bro speak." Like calling me "bud," "buddy," "bro." I'm both too mature and too femme to be anyone's "bro."

Conversely, I can't stand anybody calling me "girl" or "gurl".  I'm too masculine to be anyone's "girl".

Occasionally I'll see a member on here call someone else "Girl" when losing an argument.  It's viewed as back handed way to insult the other person's intelligence and perpetuates the stereotype that women and especially young women are ignorant compared to a man.

2 hours ago, Jamie21 said:

The main off putting thing now is when guys say ‘babe’ or ‘girl’ such as ‘you go girl’ or refer to my bum as my ‘pussy or they use other feminine words’. I’m not female! 

I agree.  The only time I'll accept hearing 'pussy/c*nt' is when a straight or bisexual man is using my bum for his pleasure.  I enjoy being his temporary substitute.

Edited 1 hour ago by Vegas_Millennial

[CuriousByNature]

1 hour ago, Jay17403 said:

The pet names are the worse. 

Yeah - could you imagine being in the throes of passion, and someone suddenly calls you Rover, or Spot?  🤣

[+ KensingtonHomo]

1 hour ago, Vegas_Millennial said:

Conversely, I can't stand anybody calling me "girl" or "gurl".  I'm too masculine to be anyone's "girl".

Occasionally I'll see a member on here call someone else "Girl" when losing an argument.  It's viewed as back handed way to insult the other person's intelligence and perpetuates the stereotype that women and especially young women are ignorant compared to a man.

I call everyone "girl." It's certainly not meant as an insult. I find most women far superior to most men, so if anything, it's a compliment. Also frequently use "hooker," "bitch," or "hoe." But not in a sexual context.