What Attributes Do You Seek?

[Wings246]

On 10/19/2025 at 10:14 PM, Alabastrine said:

Cock can't be too huge, I'd like to walk the next day. Thank god for average sized cocks.

 

On 10/20/2025 at 5:22 AM, Muscleking said:

 Well-endowed (I’ve got a bit of a thing for seeing and stroking a nice, big cock).

I'm always intrigued by the possibilities behind the definitions of "average" vs "well-endowed."  I understand everyone has a personal standard for length and girth.  Would you mind sharing your preferences @Alabastrine @Muscleking?

[Muscleking]

4 hours ago, Wings246 said:

 

I'm always intrigued by the possibilities behind the definitions of "average" vs "well-endowed."  I understand everyone has a personal standard for length and girth.  Would you mind sharing your preferences @Alabastrine @Muscleking?

Sure mate! I’d say well endowed to me would be 9in/22cm + when I see cocks those sizes or bigger I’m throughly impressed. 

[GentJ]

I gotta say, it's refreshing to see that [most of] y'all have some criteria other than JUST physical attributes!--Like OP said, not typical clients 😍

[Wings246]

Here are my criteria, most of which are subjective and not objectively measurable on RM profiles.  So it requires some independent research on my part.  Disclaimer: these are my personal preferences only.  There are no right-or-wrong answers.  Please don’t judge/criticize me.

1.     Age — psychologically & emotionally (not necessarily physiologically) at least 35, but as close to my own age as possible, +/- 5 years standard deviation.  This facilitates my imagination of a “real” BFE.  I’m aiming for maturity.  I’m looking for someone to take care of me; I’m not at all interested in babysitting because there is too much of that already in the real world.

2.     Gay >>>>>>>>>> Bi.  Straight is a hard stop.  I know all providers are acting on the job, but GFP is just way too much acting.

3.     Athletic to muscular build — the key is proportion though.  A bulky chihuahua and a stick-figure giraffe are equally unappealing.

4.     Conversational skills — see criterion #1 above.  I typically book 2-hour appointments.  The ability to sustain a decent adult dialogue is crucial.  Nothing kills the mood faster than awkward dead air.

5.     Personality — warm, approachable, and mild-tempered.  Strangely enough, I find providers who are simultaneously angelic and devilish (in words and/or in action) utterly irresistible.

6.     Race/Ethnicity — I know this is a borderline taboo subject, but I prefer a provider who is NOT of my race/ethnicity.  I want someone different from me.  Unfamiliarity is exhilarating and enticing.

7.     No tattoo — it is a distraction.  Why would you add graffiti to an otherwise perfectly sculpted piece of artwork?

[+ Jamie21]

Reading these is so interesting. Thank you to everyone who has contributed. It shows that it’s definitely not just about looks although clearly that’s important: I think it’s like the entry pass to the job - you need some kind of looks attribute whether that’s a big cock, a muscular physique or something that is distinctive. It’s also about personality and professionalism. I think the professionalism issue is something frequently overlooked by those doing the work. They rely on the looks and think ‘job done’. Big mistake.

My learning from doing the job is clients like the action but they come back for the connection and the intimacy. You can get action on a hookup but you won’t necessarily get connection, intimacy and someone who’s focused on giving. I’m glad to hear clients look for attributes like these. 

[+ Alabastrine]

23 hours ago, Wings246 said:

 

I'm always intrigued by the possibilities behind the definitions of "average" vs "well-endowed."  I understand everyone has a personal standard for length and girth.  Would you mind sharing your preferences @Alabastrine @Muscleking?

Average cock size is a point of debate and personal to everyone, but I consider "average" to be 5-6 inches long, with "well endowed" to be 7 inches or larger. Big cocks are REALLY fucking hot and beautiful to look at, but feeling like I'm (literally) being split in half is not my idea of a good time. 5-6 inches is more than enough to get the job done, and with a lot more pleasure than a really big cock. 7 is a sweet spot: the "fill you up" feeling without the downside of my vagina tearing at the seams. I might dare to venture at 8 inches, but delicate handling of my dainty lady bits would be required.

Edited October 23 by Alabastrine

[+ DrownedBoy]

On 10/20/2025 at 10:11 PM, KensingtonHomo said:

What irritated me about your criteria was your vision that some men are superior than others-particularly those whose mindsets are focused on accumulating wealth for its own sake.

Turn off for me too.

I recently slipped out of a cocktail party with a bunch of fat old rich white gays who spent all their time talking about their investments.

I invest too, but I'm not so insecure that I need to brag that I do. And it shows they have a dull soul.

[marylander1940]

🍑, 🍆 personality and having his life together!

[marylander1940]

1 hour ago, DrownedBoy said:

Turn off for me too.

I recently slipped out of a cocktail party with a bunch of fat old rich white gays who spent all their time talking about their investments.

I invest too, but I'm not so insecure that I need to brag that I do. And it shows they have a dull soul.

They were rich and fat? Tell them to invest in a personal trainer and some self control.

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

On 10/19/2025 at 6:28 AM, jusmeinbr said:

# 5) financial responsibility is a huge +.  Dimitryy and I visited before he left one of our meetings while watching CNBC as the DJIA broke through 40,000 last year.  We own stocks in common, and Dimitryy even minimizes his overhead in travels (staying with friends, etc.) so he can maximize his ability to invest.  I don’t know when he may retire, but I LOVE the fact that, when he does, he can live comfortably the remainder of his life because he was so intelligent and responsible in managing his money derived from this arena.  There’s nothing worse (to me at least) than knowing you’re providing money with which a provider opts to purchase drugs.  Luckily, I have come to know of drug use on a very small number of providers with whom I’ve met, but when I do, I discontinue meeting with them.  Not only does it totally destroy the “mindset” I’ve outlined above (to me, there’s no “superiority” attaching to a drug user), but my own ability to hire is based on my own financial responsibility going all the way back to making $2.90/hour at McDonalds.   I have no issue at all with now paying over 100 times that amount to get to live out my fantasy as outlined above, but I want no part of having the knowledge that the money is being  used to feed a drug habit as I then view myself as an enabler by making the funds simply way too  easy to obtain.

Agree 💯 

There's something so sexy about an attractive young man who casually mentions that he maxes out his Roth IRA (self managed tax free retirement account in the U.S.)!

In my experience, escorts I met tend to prefer investing in rental real estate while strippers I patron prefer the stock market route.  Either way, a sexy young man with a tight body and common sense with attention toward the future is a turn on.

[marylander1940]

5 minutes ago, Vegas_Millennial said:

Agree 💯 

There's something so sexy about an attractive young man who casually mentions that he maxes out his Roth IRA (self managed tax free retirement account in the U.S.)!

In my experience, escorts I met tend to prefer investing in rental real estate while strippers I patron prefer the stock market route.  Either way, a sexy young man with a tight body and common sense with attention toward the future is a turn on.

Agreed!

It's also nice to know those who we hire won't throw the money away in clothing and drugs and will save it or invest it thinking about the future. 

[Nebost]

I must have a super Alpha stud  that bottoms.  First and foremost the guy needs to be very physically attractive to me .  Beautiful face , big eyes, chiseled chin.  Then he needs to have big muscles , lean , and nicely proportioned.  And he needs to bottom.

One thing that doesn’t matter at all is cock size.  A masculine  stud with a small dick is an odd  turn on for me , but a big dick is impressive, either way it’s all good!

I rely on word-of-mouth or reviews that the guy is decent and reliable.  

Hiring is a very physical thing for me.  I get my friendship elsewhere.  I have had friends in life that have been truly wonderful to me, I couldn’t possibly get that from a physical transaction.  But a decent conversationalist and an engaged personality is a big plus

Edited October 23 by Nebost

[pubic_assistance]

On 10/18/2025 at 10:37 PM, PhileasFogg said:

What are the criteria you use?

#1 under 35

#2 Fit - V shaped torso

#3 HIV negative (I know I cant be sure)

#4 Bottom bunk ready

#5 Actual massage skills are a plus

#6 Easy communications

#7 No attitude and no "queens".

I don't hire often for company beyond an hour or two. So the other personality issues mentioned above by others isn't a huge priority for me (normaly).

I WOULD however say that those young men who DO have a personality and an ability to hold an intelligent conversation and the only ones who stand a chance of being invited to dinner after a good fucking. I remember one handsome fellow in particular who I hired in London for a massage, ended up a three hour visit with dinner becasue I enjoyed his bright intelligent and engaging world view. 

[+ Charlie]

Like most males, I have my own preferences in physical surface features of a sex partner, which I won't elaborate on here. For me, however, the most important aspect in a provider (beside a reasonable fee agreed upon in advance), is that I have to feel that he is actually interested in having sex with me, not just with anyone who opens a wallet. I let the sex acts develop as spontaneously as I would with an unpaid partner (I don't have a pre-set scenario), but if I don't get the sense that he is enjoying whatever it is that we do, I probably won't enjoy it either. I stopped hiring when I could no longer convince myself that this gorgeous hunk was truly turned on by sex with this old man.

[+ KensingtonHomo]

The amount of "telling on yourselves" in this thread is mind-boggling. 🤣

[+ PhileasFogg]

On 10/22/2025 at 2:15 AM, Wings246 said:

 

I'm always intrigued by the possibilities behind the definitions of "average" vs "well-endowed."  I understand everyone has a personal standard for length and girth.  Would you mind sharing your preferences @Alabastrine @Muscleking?

Average is when it’s on someone else

Well Endowed is when it’s on you 🤪

Edited Sunday at 02:00 PM by PhileasFogg

[+ PhileasFogg]

On 10/22/2025 at 10:54 AM, GentJ said:

I gotta say, it's refreshing to see that [most of] y'all have some criteria other than JUST physical attributes!--Like OP said, not typical clients 😍

Looking at your profile, it’s good to see that you’re marketing yourself as more than just a big…ahem…and able you use the word “y’all” as the more precise and efficient substitute for the plural of “you” preferred in highbrow circles. 🤓

[jackcali]

On 10/23/2025 at 9:32 AM, marylander1940 said:

🍑, 🍆 personality and having his life together!

I agree entirely with this.  We all have "types" as to physical attributes.  For me, young or young-looking, smoother rather than hairier, good shape (but not shredded), about my height or taller, a twunk (but happy to drift towards twinkish or muscle guy-ish), a good smile (!) and an at-least-average cock.

But just as important is that they have a personality and can participate in a conversation and that they are happy to be seeing me and not there out of need or desperation.  That means some financial and emotional stability.  I don't care if they invest, haha, but I want their life more or less in order.  I had one regular I really loved seeing (we met 30-40 times a year for almost three years), but towards the end he started asking me for some extra above our (already generous) agreed-upon fee - first to pay his phone bill, then to pay for something else - until almost every week was a new need.  I believe drugs became an issue for him, though I didn't see any signs, but I stopped seeing him because I wanted a lover (and he was a great one) but not a dependent.  

[+ Just Chuck]

I am bi-/pansexual and have some extremely broad tastes in partners.  And I like a lot of the same things that are already listed in this thread.  

I also am very drawn to people who blur gender lines in behavior and appearance.  So, I’ve seen a lot of trans, non-binary, and intersex people as well as cis people who just don’t conform to general expectations.  I don’t have a “steady diet” of any particular type. And, I also see masculine men and feminine   I really do find variety to be the spice of life.  

The variety of people I can hire versus who I’m likely to be able to just partner with without hiring is really one of the things that draws me to this.

[GentJ]

3 hours ago, PhileasFogg said:

Looking at your profile, it’s good to see that you’re marketing yourself as more than just a big…ahem…and able you use the word “y’all” as the more precise and efficient substitute for the plural of “you” preferred in highbrow circles. 🤓

Staaahp! All this verb conjugation talk is getting all hot and bothered 🥵

[mike carey]

10 hours ago, GentJ said:

Staaahp! All this verb conjugation talk is getting all hot and bothered 🥵

As long as we don't start talking about dangling clauses!