Safety issues on RM

[+ Rgsnva]

I am starting to be really concerned about hiring from RM. Given the info shared in the long thread in The Deli about a provider who is clearly mentally ill and at least wants to appear dangerous, I’m wondering why his profile is still active and lists no negative reviews.  Adding a couple of my own experiences: one in which a provider threatened me with several actions like sending dangerous people to my house and showing up at my workplace unless I gave him money, and another in which a provider stole money from me.  In both cases, I submitted RM reviews and had email conversations with RM customer service in which I submitted our messaging which clearly showed I was being truthful. In both cases, my review was not published and the profiles remained active, with RM explanations that it’s not their responsibility.  So no wonder most providers have all 5 star ratings,   I know that aren’t legally responsible, but doesn’t seem like great service to either providers or clients if clients bail from the site because it isn’t safe.  
I suppose I have 3 questions for the hive mind: Is RM safe and do others also think they need to be more responsive to security issues? If I give up on RM, are there any other options? And lastly, what do y’all do to ensure your safety when hiring?

Thanks, all.  

[56harrisond]

YMMV but a near foolproof method is to only hire well-reviewed providers on CoM.

[+ PhileasFogg]

I’ve never had a serious issue.  It might be my target profile 

[TorontoDrew]

I have a "hiring identity". This includes a name, burner phone number and a Gmail account for this hobby. I don't host either.

[jcmiami1]

Never had an issue on RM but definitely used a burner number, do not host only hotels, avoid anything PNP on their profile, use well reviewed established providers. I can tell a lot by their texting style words used as well. 

[soloyo215]

The only issues I've had is with providers canceling on me. No threats so far. My real name sounds made up, anyway.

[+ Pensant]

Same here. Worst things are non-responsiveness and the occasional flake.

[+ PhileasFogg]

3 minutes ago, Pensant said:

Worst things are non-responsiveness and the occasional flake.

Ain’t that the truth!

[+ KensingtonHomo]

I'm not sure what @Rgsnva is referring to. Is it the thread about the scammer? 

For me, I use a burner number (and recommend others do too). But I've never been threatened and certainly never felt unsafe. 

 

[maninsoma]

Seems like this question is coming up a lot lately.  The short answer is, no, it isn't "safe" hiring from Rentmen if by "safe" you mean that the owners of the site actively work to remove fraudulent providers.  It's definitely a "buyer beware" type of situation and it's on the client to protect himself in the manner outlined by some people above (using a burner number, not hosting, sticking to providers with a good reputation).  It's sad because 25 years ago you could generally "trust" not only sites like Rentmen (actually, I don't think that site existed then, but I'm pretty sure Rentboy did) but also Craigslist.  I hired a lot of guys who had no reviews and only a couple of times encountered outright scammers.  I don't know how guys break into the business now.  There have to be some clients willing to give new providers the benefit of the doubt, but I'm not one of them.

[marylander1940]

6 hours ago, Rgsnva said:

I am starting to be really concerned about hiring from RM. Given the info shared in the long thread in The Deli about a provider who is clearly mentally ill and at least wants to appear dangerous, I’m wondering why his profile is still active and lists no negative reviews.  Adding a couple of my own experiences: one in which a provider threatened me with several actions like sending dangerous people to my house and showing up at my workplace unless I gave him money, and another in which a provider stole money from me.  In both cases, I submitted RM reviews and had email conversations with RM customer service in which I submitted our messaging which clearly showed I was being truthful. In both cases, my review was not published and the profiles remained active, with RM explanations that it’s not their responsibility.  So no wonder most providers have all 5 star ratings,   I know that aren’t legally responsible, but doesn’t seem like great service to either providers or clients if clients bail from the site because it isn’t safe.  
I suppose I have 3 questions for the hive mind: Is RM safe and do others also think they need to be more responsive to security issues? If I give up on RM, are there any other options? And lastly, what do y’all do to ensure your safety when hiring?

Thanks, all.  

What kind of guys do you hire? 

RM isn't craigslist, you've been unlucky!

[marylander1940]

40 minutes ago, maninsoma said:

Seems like this question is coming up a lot lately.  The short answer is, no, it isn't "safe" hiring from Rentmen if by "safe" you mean that the owners of the site actively work to remove fraudulent providers.  It's definitely a "buyer beware" type of situation and it's on the client to protect himself in the manner outlined by some people above (using a burner number, not hosting, sticking to providers with a good reputation).  It's sad because 25 years ago you could generally "trust" not only sites like Rentmen (actually, I don't think that site existed then, but I'm pretty sure Rentboy did) but also Craigslist.  I hired a lot of guys who had no reviews and only a couple of times encountered outright scammers.  I don't know how guys break into the business now.  There have to be some clients willing to give new providers the benefit of the doubt, but I'm not one of them.

following that "reasoning" crossing the street isn't safe either. RM at least knows the name of the provider and have his CC saved. 

Is taking an Uber safer than waving at a random taxi, right? The company has the driver license of the driver, GPS on both phones tells how long the trip lasted, etc. Is it risky, no activity is without risk. 

25 years ago, there were way less guys available. Rentboy had 50 guys in DC and that was in a good day, now there are over 300 in town or about to visit

Funny I just mentioned CL, and I'm still amazed some folks survived hiring from it. To me it was asking to get mugged!

[jcmiami1]

Yep I got robbed on CL back then iPhone stolen but no physical threats - guess I was lucky. From what I’ve heard megapersonals in the new CL full of scammers and criminals.

[+ DrownedBoy]

Just make sure you have protection when they visit. And I don't mean a condom.

[maninsoma]

Maybe I just got lucky with my Craigslist hires, but apart from the stuff that still goes on (over promise and under deliver) I never ran into problems such as outright robbery or someone threatening me.  I actually did the majority of my hiring off Craigslist in the 2000s until whenever they stopped allowing such ads.  I'm not saying there was anything magic that CL did that enhanced security.  I think it's just that there were fewer scammers because it was still a more niche activity.

[jackcali]

1 hour ago, maninsoma said:

Maybe I just got lucky with my Craigslist hires, but apart from the stuff that still goes on (over promise and under deliver) I never ran into problems such as outright robbery or someone threatening me.  I actually did the majority of my hiring off Craigslist in the 2000s until whenever they stopped allowing such ads.  I'm not saying there was anything magic that CL did that enhanced security.  I think it's just that there were fewer scammers because it was still a more niche activity.

Added to that, I think communicating by email allowed for more extensive conversation between the client and the provider and a certain amount of comfort on both sides to be developed.  Things happened slower in those days, which wasn't all bad.

[Thelatin]

I've thankfully never had an issue.  I do typically stalk them on RM for a long time to see that they've been around, if they have a twitter I look at that, which leads to IG, Tik Tok etc.  I think I can get an idea if they seem "normal" or not.  I typically hire athletic Latinos.  So if it's a bunch of photos of them on the beach with friends, family, hanging at the gym etc.  Plus if they have been reviewed here, even if it's not a great review I'm cool.  Good Lord, I'm the Magnum PI of this hobby lol. 

[+ KensingtonHomo]

58 minutes ago, Thelatin said:

Good Lord, I'm the Magnum PI of this hobby lol. 

Can we hire you?

[Nightowl]

4 hours ago, Thelatin said:

I've thankfully never had an issue.  I do typically stalk them on RM for a long time to see that they've been around, if they have a twitter I look at that, which leads to IG, Tik Tok etc.  I think I can get an idea if they seem "normal" or not.  I typically hire athletic Latinos.  So if it's a bunch of photos of them on the beach with friends, family, hanging at the gym etc.  Plus if they have been reviewed here, even if it's not a great review I'm cool.  Good Lord, I'm the Magnum PI of this hobby lol. 

I’m like you.  The more I can find out about a prospective hire in advance, the better.  

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

I take the same precautions with a new hire from the Web as I would when considering going home with a new guy from the bar. 

Make sure someone knows the guy (on RentMen, look for one reputable review here.  At the bar, ask if the bar tender is familiar with him).

Keeping my valuable in the hotel safe before I invite someone over, or before I go out on the town. 

Make sure the hotel front security sees us arrive. 

Don't drink anything they offer or left unattended.  Don't fall asleep... Leave after the deed. 

If I'm not prepared to take all of the above actions with a guy online, then I don't meet.  If I'm at a bar and a guy wants to have sex with me but I'm not prepared to take all of the adove precautions, then I suggest a quickie in the bar's men's room or parking lot.

[CTguy]

What’s the point of using a burner phone number? I’ve always used my cell phone number for texting and communication. I never had a problem.

[+ Act25]

31 minutes ago, CTguy said:

What’s the point of using a burner phone number? I’ve always used my cell phone number for texting and communication. I never had a problem.

Someone can search on a regular cell phone # and your entire life is exposed: addresses, relatives etc. 

If you're okay with that then no need to use a burner phone or number.  

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

1 hour ago, Act25 said:

Someone can search on a regular cell phone # and your entire life is exposed: addresses, relatives etc.

Interestingly for me, one cannot search by my cell phone number and trace it to my name or address because I refuse to give it out to companies (It's unlisted, and I refuse to give phone number to utility companies, to sign up for rewards programs based on phone numbers, or even when I stay in a hotel or fly).  But if someone knows my full name or address, then my whole life including employer is instantly found.  And I've even met with people who recognize me without me ever giving then my name, address, or phone number because I'm well known in certain professional and social circles locally and abroad.

It's not worth the effort trying to hide.  I've lived in the closet before; and, I'm not going to do it again.  My friends, colleagues, and boyfriends know I hire.  I'm not doing anything that's risky of blackmail.

Edited 9 hours ago by Vegas_Millennial

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

1 hour ago, Act25 said:

If you're okay with that then no need to use a burner phone or number.  

Life is easier when one has nothing to hide 

[Nue2thegame]

8 hours ago, Vegas_Millennial said:

Life is easier when one has nothing to hide 

But few of us do. 😥