Thanks for posting the question. I wish I’d read it 6 months ago. I’m fairly new at being a client (about a year and a half), but my preconceived notions about what the providers would be like was far from accurate. I didn’t think they’d be jerks, but I didn’t really expect to find them so likable either (which was crappy of me). Not my wheelhouse - but I suspect that to be successful at being a provider, you have to care enough about the people who hire you, and be kind and empathetic enough to tap into what they want and need, so they have a good time and come back to you. In other words, to be good at it, you have to be a good guy. I had a bad experience, and I’m glad he wasn’t my first or I wouldn’t have done it again, but I’ve also met some good men. So I hope it’s possible to be friends, if the opportunity presents. The provider who has become my regular is a good guy, we have some stuff in common, and we like doing things together. We’ve had VERY open conversation about what has to happen for any friendship to work (partly because he watched me get burned), and we seem to agree that the communication is key, but also ground rules, because he has a living to earn and I respect that. Right now, the current agreement is that if he initiates getting together, regardless of what occurs or doesn’t, it’s social. If I initiate, it’s business, at the going rate for his time. If there’s an exception, it’s clearly made and agreed upon when the invitation happens. He tends to be generous, and I’ve had to say a couple of times “no, it’s been x hours, so that’s not enough.” I’m trying to be conscientious about that. It seems to be working.
