DMs from other subscribers to this website

[whatahoot8]

Hi All,

I get an occasional direct message from a subscriber to this site asking me about my experience with a specific provider.  I'm wondering if I should share any details? I would appreciate your advice about how I should respond.  Thank you in advance.  

[CuriousByNature]

I think it's completely at your discretion.  No one should pressure anyone for additional details.  Some people are more open to share than others, and I think it's important that everyone respect each other's boundaries.

Now, please DM me and tell me who the provider is and all the juicy details.    LOL. 

[MikeBiDude]

I tend to not give many details in a DM, unless it’s someone I already know on the board and have communicated with before. Random DM’s asking me about posts from years ago I routinely ignore. You never know if a provider is going to give the same exact experience to everyone. I’ve had “strict tops” bottom for me when the chemistry is there…I’m not going to tell someone that in a random DM.

[SirBillybob]

I wouldn’t share deets and my personal take on a provider with an unknown third party unless I was prepared for it to go full circle. Even if they were positive comments it could come across as spilled tea, as there’s no control over context, and possibly bite me in the ass. In many cases the inquirer is a fuss-budget and mostly wishes to compare what you got with what he could get out of a booking. If you can’t figure out on your own how to vet and whether to take a leap then this hobby is not a good fit for you. I also have no desire to have a good cultivated relationship compromised by being somehow linked to a client that proved to be undesirable. My tribe does not at all consist of apparently polite strangers. I also have no problem with myself being a nobody in that regard. 

Edited June 26 by SirBillybob

[maninsoma]

Typically this does happen when some random person will ask me about a provider I posted about years ago.  My response used to be the same: I don't remember anything other than what I wrote in the public message forum years ago, so I have nothing to add.  Sometimes that wasn't entirely true (I might remember some details that I don't want to share).  A few months ago I updated my signature here to advise people not to send me a PM to ask me about escorts I've posted about before because I'm not going to have any additional information for them; I only did this because I was getting these types of PMs a lot more often.

I have had forum members who have been around a while message me (and I have messages others) in response to public posts.  Sometimes it's nice to get a little validation from someone else, and that's typically what these messages have been.  

[+ jeezopete]

2 hours ago, MikeBiDude said:

You never know if a provider is going to give the same exact experience to everyone.

Exactly this. 👆

[+ Just Sayin]

when I feel that it's crossing over to kiss-and-tell territory, I usually just respond by writing something like that's all I can recall or, if it was a good experience with a provider, just write that I did so but YMMV

[aiseeya]

Word of caution. A subscriber once share my posts to the provider who is the subject of those posts.

[+ RyanDean]

I'm fine with sharing my experience via DM (see my signature) but I don't share anything particularly specific, nor do I ever say anything bad. 

[jackcali]

I have a different take.  In public posts, I may give details on a very positive experience but leave them out when reporting a negative or mediocre experience.  Everyone's experience with a provider is different and I would hate to trash a provider before all forum participants just because my experience was sub-par.  Instead, I just say it was not a great experience and offer details by DM.  That way, I can discuss the details more openly and directly.    

[soloyo215]

15 hours ago, whatahoot8 said:

Hi All,

I get an occasional direct message from a subscriber to this site asking me about my experience with a specific provider.  I'm wondering if I should share any details? I would appreciate your advice about how I should respond.  Thank you in advance.  

Your call. I have received some inquiring details about providers or destinations. I don't see any harm in providing information about that. No one has ever inquired about any of my personal information, so I feel safe sharing the info they ask about.

That said, I personally don't like going into specifics, especially about masseurs. Masseurs go as far as they want, and my guess is that it depends on the client, so to avoid giving them a sense of guarantee about what they should expect, I keep some things vague.

[Hyattsville]

Hadn't really thought about it, but I have left a vague positive review and received several requests for more info and gave it to them freely. I kind of assumed that was what this forum was for. 

 

[DunwoodyGuy]

Since I usually post links to my reviews on RentMasseur, I rarely mention anything more beyond that. I just refer to the most useful phrase anyone on Company of Men ever came up with: Your Mileage May Vary.

Edited June 26 by DunwoodyGuy

[SirBillybob]

28 minutes ago, DunwoodyGuy said:

Since I usually post links to my reviews on RentMasseur, I rarely mention anything more beyond that. I just refer to the most useful phrase anyone on Company of Men every came up with: Your Mileage May Vary.

Good to know because Kilometrage is such a mouthful. 

[+ KensingtonHomo]

If a regular poster reaches out to me for more information, I'm happy to share what I recall. Sometimes I can provide a bit more context about a provider, but i'm always clear that this is my experience. People need to communicate what they're looking for, ensure the provider is open to it, and account for chemistry. Similar to @MikeBiDude, I've had masseurs who we end up fucking, escorts where I didn't feel the chemistry, and so on. 

When I ask for more details, it's rarely about the sex. I'm more curious about the personality, incall/outcall, price (if they're not putting it out there) and logistics. 

 

[BuffaloKyle]

I both ask and will share more details of a session through dm's. We're all here to help each other make sure we have nothing but great hires at the end of the day. 👍

But like many others have said just share whatever you're comfortable with if you don't want to get into too much detail.

[+ newatthis]

50 minutes ago, KensingtonHomo said:

If a regular poster reaches out to me for more information, I'm happy to share what I recall. Sometimes I can provide a bit more context about a provider, but i'm always clear that this is my experience. People need to communicate what they're looking for, ensure the provider is open to it, and account for chemistry. Similar to @MikeBiDude, I've had masseurs who we end up fucking, escorts where I didn't feel the chemistry, and so on. 

When I ask for more details, it's rarely about the sex. I'm more curious about the personality, incall/outcall, price (if they're not putting it out there) and logistics. 

 

This is pretty much what I do as well.  The key is "regular poster" -- I don't share with random folks who reach out to me.  I'm happy to do this because I've benefitted many times from replies to my own queries here.

[Whippoorwill]

I have had great conversations in DMs with other clients…resulting in some great provider encounters. I find that when I am happy to share helpful details, I get helpful reports in return. Is that not the purpose of DMs? Each to their own, but full disclosure works for me. 

[Nightowl]

I have no problem sharing details about my experiences with providers if someone asks via DM.  I’ve also gotten good information about other guys’ experiences, which helps me with my own hiring decisions.  I still maintain my anonymity and they maintain theirs.  I am open to unsolicited DMs and in most cases will answer them if I have information that benefits the requester.  

[+ JamesB]

I really don’t mind sharing my experiences or even my opinions through DMs. I see it as an important part of what makes this forum valuable, and I’ve received some great responses to my own inquiries that way. That said, I usually check how long someone has been a member and how active they are on the forum before deciding how much detail I’m comfortable sharing. I also make an effort to clarify what I think is part of the typical experience versus what might fall into the YMMV territory. I also really appreciate it when people follow up with feedback after they’ve had their own experience.

[BrickBuilder]

I have become cautious of sharing more details of any experience (either good or bad) because of the number of accounts on the site that are merely voyeuristic and just want to read about other individual's experiences for their own pleasure without ever actually hiring a provider themselves.  Whether they do this because they are not in a financial position to hire, are not out of the closet, or are just looking for a fantasy to use makes no difference.  My reviews and comments are moving from having details to being a bit more generic of "thumbs up" or "thumbs down".  

So questions to me about "does he kiss", "does he PNP", "does he bareback", "what does he charge" etc. will get the same response such as "I had a good time, hire him and experience him for yourself" or "I probably would not repeat, your milage may vary."

 

[+ DrownedBoy]

I share general information on clients, whether they're good or bad, but I don't get into the gory details.

Given that I hire for BDSM and never intercourse, that's probably a good move.

[Monarchy79]

When I’m privately contacted by a member of the forum, I first look at their activity on the site. If they have contributed and shared their experiences, then I’ll give them details. 

If they are a “lurker”,  and I see a pattern that they continuously “bump” and inquire but never take the plunge or share, then I don’t respond. 

I only share my experiences with others who share and those who sometimes take the chance to hire. 
 

 

 

[MscleLovr]

14 minutes ago, Monarchy79 said:

I only share my experiences with others who share and those who sometimes take the chance to hire.

I think that’s a very good rule. I used to respond to all messages that I received…and then I had a bad experience.
 

One person asked about a specific activity with a particular man that I liked. I confirmed that I’d enjoyed it with him but I stressed he needed to be discreet if requesting the same service.
Some days later, I heard from the person that the man was not willing to do the same with him when they met. 
I also heard directly from the man that after refusing, the person said to him “You do it for MscleLovr. Why won’t you do it for me?”

Lesson learned: some posters here are neither polite nor trustworthy. 

[Ali Gator]

I try to be a bit detailed only if I've exchanged a few messages in the past with the person inquiring. I always caution that 'this is the experience I had' indicating their experience may be quite different, for better or for worse. (Some had better and some indeed had worse than I did).

I've stopped answering inquiries for providers I met more than six months ago and had a one-time experience. I honestly don't remember, so nothing more to share than in my response from that time.