Do you pay before or after?

[+ JamesB]

2 hours ago, Muscleking said:

Out of curiosity, if you were already there and intended to pay no matter what, then what is difference to have to pay up front or after ? 

 

Providers who ask for payment upfront are usually the ones who deliver a subpar experience and/or cut the session short.

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

5 hours ago, JamesB said:

Ohh got it, thanks for clarifying. I’ve never hired in London, so maybe that’s just how things work there. Thank you for the heads-up; I’ll need to keep it in mind if I ever look to hire in London, especially since Brazilians are among my top choices.

I've hired in London.  I've always paid at the end.

[HockeyMan]

First time clients should pay up front. It's an anti-theft measure. Regular clients can pay when they want, because they have more trust with the provider.

[jackcali]

Can I ask what the difference is between paying up front and leaving the money in plain sight?  If it's a bad session, am I going to wrestle with the escort over who grabs the money off the table because I want to claw some of it back?  (Yes, I realize that may be a way to improve the session.)  I think the escort has a legitimate interest in knowing whether the client has the money to pay (it's why hotels and car rental companies put holds on your credit card even if they don't charge you until you leave), and showing him the money gives him that assurance.  But once I've put the money out, his leaving it there during the session or his picking it up and putting it in his pocket at the beginning doesn't mean anything to me.  

On the other hand, I think addressing the money issue up front is bad.  When I'm asked, I am insulted that the escort thinks that I would be the sort of person who wouldn't pay him or that I don't have the money.  (Yeah, I'm a bit of a prig.)  The result is there is no tipping if i pay up front, while if I pay after I always tip for good sessions and often tip even for mediocre ones.  

[Guest]

On 6/20/2025 at 5:04 PM, Muscleking said:

Out of curiosity, if you were already there and intended to pay no matter what, then what is difference to have to pay up front or after ? 

Time.

Some providers leave as soon as THEY cum. Others leave as soon as you cum.

Someone us enjoy the company and the talks before/after. You are paying for their time and company above all else.

There are other reasons like they don't honor the arrangement, etc. but those are rarer.

[Chien Andalou]

On 6/20/2025 at 8:04 AM, Muscleking said:

Out of curiosity, if you were already there and intended to pay no matter what, then what is difference to have to pay up front or after ? 

Big red flag. Not every time I was asked to pay up front was a bad experience, but just about every time I had a bad experience they had asked me to pay up front. These boys know they won’t get a tip anyway, and if they already have the money it’s a lot harder and a lot less fruitful to try to discuss how much they deserve.  
 

I have sometimes walked when they asked for payment up front, and sometimes I have regretted not having done so. I realize guys have gotten burnt, but when it comes down to it, just about any of them could take me in a fight and I don’t want to have to explain the black eye. 

[JayCeeKy]

The ONLY time I've ever paid upfront was last year in Atlanta. I got his number from his ad on "MegaPersonals" - my first mistake. I was actually surprised that the person in the photo showed up as he has also been in a few pretty hot porn vids (mostly him having his impressive schlong being milked in the cramped backseat of a Jeep). Anyway, he showed up at my hotel room, asked for the money, counted his loot, called me a "vintage" sobriquet for a gay person, and then left. As others have stated: NEVER PAY UPFRONT, NEVER SEND A DEPOSIT. I would also add: don't get your escort referrals from sleazy online sites like MegaPersonals. 

[Guest]

55 minutes ago, JayCeeKy said:

The ONLY time I've ever paid upfront was last year in Atlanta. I got his number from his ad on "MegaPersonals" - my first mistake. I was actually surprised that the person in the photo showed up as he has also been in a few pretty hot porn vids (mostly him having his impressive schlong being milked in the cramped backseat of a Jeep). Anyway, he showed up at my hotel room, asked for the money, counted his loot, called me a "vintage" sobriquet for a gay person, and then left. As others have stated: NEVER PAY UPFRONT, NEVER SEND A DEPOSIT. I would also add: don't get your escort referrals from sleazy online sites like MegaPersonals. 

He didn't even fuck you? Dafuq?!

[Muscleking]

10 hours ago, Felange said:

Time.

Some providers leave as soon as THEY cum. Others leave as soon as you cum.

Someone us enjoy the company and the talks before/after. You are paying for their time and company above all else.

There are other reasons like they don't honor the arrangement, etc. but those are rarer.

I get that but I think if you’re clear upfront with what you expect from the meeting then you won’t have issues.

[ShortCutie7]

A couple guys have asked towards the beginning of the session how I plan on paying- in that moment, I say “cash” and either hand it to them or put it on a table where they can see.  That is (in my opinion) a great way to broach the subject before getting down to business, but nobody has directly asked for payment up front.

Edited June 23 by ShortCutie7
Added missing word

[urbanfetish]

99% of the time I've paid upon arrival, I've always had a problem. They either finish early, rush the session or can't perform. At this point, it's a huge red flag.

When they say that they have had clients not pay them in the past, that's an indication that they don't provide the services they were hired for and people left unhappy. Now, if they insist on being paid in advance, I just leave.

And that 1% of the time when I didn't have a problem, it was just awkward because he asked when we were both naked in bed when things were just starting to heat up - insanely bad timing! Other than not kissing when he said he would, he did everything else that he had promised.

I think it's an "industry standard" to pay at the end. Anything else is a red flag.

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

On 6/22/2025 at 8:11 AM, HockeyMan said:

First time clients should pay up front. It's an anti-theft measure. Regular clients can pay when they want, because they have more trust with the provider.

I have a similar policy but with one difference.  First time escorts get paid at the end.  It's an anti-theft measure.  Regular escorts can get paid up front, because they have more trust with the client.

[MikeBiDude]

On 6/18/2025 at 2:47 AM, Just Chuck said:

I'll have the cash out and visible but deep into the room and not near an exit door

I’ve always had the cash in plain sight, definitely for a first time meet and in general even with regulars.

Your twist above re: cash deep in the room, I like it!! Just did that last week with a new hire, great idea!

That would have stopped the one time I got ripped off for $200, and wasn’t a regular provider was a second time visit Grindr gen meet.

[Archangel]

I have never not paid before. It’s been clear to me that payment always happened up front. It’s actually one of the reasons why I want to flesh out details before meeting because I want to have a pretty good idea before I commit that I’m going to get something close to my expectations satisfied. That expectation in and of itself seems to be problematic to some here as acting entitled to more than is my due though…

[+ AZeager]

My preference is that during the arranging of the appointment we cover fees and method of payment. I have paid a deposit on occasion (usually $100 or less), to reserve time in advance when it is not same day or much later.

If the payment is cash, sometimes I will leave it out near the bed or take it out upon arrival and set it on the nightstand next to the bed. There are certainly times when I got to the appointment, and we got into it really quick, and I paid after and I like those times because it is more intense.

If the payment is electronic, I prefer to do it after because I want the option to tip. I usually take cash as a backup in case I have a problem sending payment. 

Sometimes, I will politely ask if they prefer before or after when I arrive. Most say after. 

 

[+ nycman]

Never up front. Ever.

If they request to be paid upfront during the booking process, I politely inform them that that’s a dealbreaker for me and that if it is for them as well, we’re just not a match. Thank you, goodbye.

If they wait until they arrive to make the upfront request, they are politely shown to the door. Thank you, goodbye. 

I have no problem with someone having that as their "policy" as long as they make it clear during the booking process. I also have no problem, turning them down and moving onto the next provider. Thank you, goodbye.

Anyone who waits until they arrive to bring it up is a really bad businessman in my book. Thank you, goodbye.

I feel the same way about "money on the table". I’m not quite as offended.  But it’s still a "no from me, Dog". Thank you, goodbye.

[Archangel]

Reading all this makes me feel like I have been duped, or at least taken for a fool. I have never once paid after the fact.

[Archangel]

On 6/29/2025 at 6:20 PM, nycman said:

If they request to be paid upfront during the booking process, I politely inform them that that’s a dealbreaker for me and that if it is for them as well, we’re just not a match. Thank you, goodbye.

I have adopted this approach with other things as well in the booking process. If it’s a hassle to book, I fear it won’t be a good interaction in person. And there are plenty of guys to choose from, and the new crop comes out every so often. It’s not worth the stress to try to “haggle” over those things. Even fees/rates. I just am now at the point if a fee/rate is just not what I want to even consider paying, I say “Sorry for wasting your time. All the best to you!” Some guys will come back wanting to negotiate but I still fear that will taint the interaction in person. 

[+ Jamie21]

On 6/20/2025 at 8:11 PM, Vegas_Millennial said:

I've hired in London.  I've always paid at the end.

Correct, there’s no general ‘pay up front’ practice here. It’s dependent on the guys preference. Yesterday my client handed me an envelope when he arrived, that’s unusual, mostly payment is afterwards once he’s dressed and ready to go.

Last week someone was so distracted after the session that they were on their way out saying goodbye to me and I had to say, whilst giving him a cheeky grin ‘you might have forgotten something…’ and then he said ‘oh! I need to pay you’. It was quite amusing. I like it when they are so transported to bliss that they forget the payment bit. It brings things back to the earth a little before they leave. 

[+ newatthis]

On 7/1/2025 at 2:57 AM, Jamie21 said:

...Last week someone was so distracted after the session that they were on their way out saying goodbye to me and I had to say, whilst giving him a cheeky grin ‘you might have forgotten something…’ and then he said ‘oh! I need to pay you’. It was quite amusing. I like it when they are so transported to bliss that they forget the payment bit. It brings things back to the earth a little before they leave. 

I've been the client in this situation once or twice.  And one time I actually went home without paying (the bliss😁!) without the escort's saying a word.  When I called a few hours later to apologize profusely and make arrangements to pay, he laughed off my apologies...he said he knew I would eventually figure it out.  Talk about trust!

[+ Pensant]

For first-timers and regulars, I leave the cash on the counter. 90% of the time they don’t even notice it. I’ve been lucky. Out of countless meetups over the years, I think perhaps I’ve been asked upfront once. That session was probably fine.

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

I  know one escort, who I have seen a few times, who gets turned on by the offer of being paid for sex (this came up in a discussion we had off the clock).  On our most recent visit, as we were engaged in the act, I talked "dirty" to him telling him I'd give him $$ amount of money for his DNA in me (or something like that, you know... very poetic and in the heat of the moment).  The $$ amount was the exact same as what we had already discussed before hand.  But in the heat of the moment, hearing me offer to pay him while we were already engaged in the act really got him (and me) turned on.   Then, at the end, I paid him what we agreed.   I don't think that scenario would have been as hot or intense if I paid him in advance.  I know this is a one-off story and not representative of the reasons to pay before vs after.  I just thought I'd mention it because it was a hot moment.