WHO SAW ME 👀

[Guest]

Rentmen has a feature called, "who saw me" The feature allows us providers the ability to see who has viewed our profiles and how many times.  I realize that lots of people do things very differently than I do but one thing I've never done is contact someone simply because they looked at my profile. I have sort of lived by the, "build it and they will  cum" philosophy 🤣 coupled with a well written ad and photos that do not deceive people.

I had a friend in the desert last week ask me why a provider might have contacted him and I realize that he probably visited said providers profile.

I've always figured that if someone really wanted to meet me, they would contact me when they felt comfortable and were ready to do so. I'm not knocking anyone that does things differently than me, but personally, I've never developed that level of comfort for something that seems to me to be sort of a hustle.... I realize that some people are shy and new to it all and might not feel comfortable reaching out even via the Internet, behind a screen but again, I leave that completely up to them. I sort of equate this to the two times I did Tim's Adonis lounge. I would mingle and talk to the patrons but I never asked anyone if they wanted to take me back into the private area for the same reason....  I just felt it was a bit too contrived and more of a hustle  than I'm comfortable with, however, that said, it didn't keep me from being busy;  the same applies to the ad that I run occasionally and sporadically.  

I'm curious 🧐 to know how people feel.. I don't believe there is a right or wrong way on this, I just believe it boils down to a level of comfort on both sides and how effective an ad is all on its own without the "hey I saw that you saw..." 😉

[+ BobPS]

Danny, Personally, I would not like to be contacted just because I looked at a providers ad. I find it somewhat creepy. This is just my opinion and it will be interesting to see what others think. I agree there is  no right or wrong way on this.

[soloyo215]

Great post, Vin_Marco. I think it depends on how each one of the parties approaches or is approached. One of my favorite providers did reach out to me because I saw his profile. The way he reached out to me was enticing, in fact, was that extra little push I needed to finally see him. I'm glad because we both seem to enjoy our respective sides of the deal.

However, just like in nother settings, like in a live social situation, there are some people who don't know how to approach or don't know how to be polite when getting unwanted approaches. It really is a two-way street. I have been approached by providers in the worst way possible, aggressively, with the "today's your lucky day" attitude.

As you said, there isn't a right or wrong answer, but there can be the wrong ways of approaching or responding to being approached. My policy is not to be nasty when saying no, and if the person or provider doesn't get it, I escalate the aggressiveness until they get it (some people don't get the "no" right away or at all).

[Guest]

53 minutes ago, BobPS said:

Danny, Personally, I would not like to be contacted just because I looked at a providers ad. I find it somewhat creepy. This is just my opinion and it will be interesting to see what others think. I agree there is  no right or wrong way on this.

Thank you for taking the time to respond and comment.

[Guest]

1 hour ago, soloyo215 said:

Great post, Vin_Marco. I think it depends on how each one of the parties approaches or is approached. One of my favorite providers did reach out to me because I saw his profile. The way he reached out to me was enticing, in fact, was that extra little push I needed to finally see him. I'm glad because we both seem to enjoy our respective sides of the deal.

However, just like in nother settings, like in a live social situation, there are some people who don't know how to approach or don't know how to be polite when getting unwanted approaches. It really is a two-way street. I have been approached by providers in the worst way possible, aggressively, with the "today's your lucky day" attitude.

As you said, there isn't a right or wrong answer, but there can be the wrong ways of approaching or responding to being approached. My policy is not to be nasty when saying no, and if the person or provider doesn't get it, I escalate the aggressiveness until they get it (some people don't get the "no" right away or at all).

Well put 👌🏽🙏🏽 and thank you 😊 

Edited September 13, 2023 by Guest

[MikeBiDude]

3 hours ago, Vin_Marco said:

Rentmen has a feature called, "who saw me"

Note there is a setting that turns that off. Also, it's not just providers but any RM users including clients that get "who saw me".

[blck37]

From a client perspective: i personally completely fine with providers reaching out on the back me viewing their profile. Think of it like any other marketing strategy. 

[Danny-Darko]

1 hour ago, BobPS said:

Danny, Personally, I would not like to be contacted just because I looked at a providers ad. I find it somewhat creepy. This is just my opinion and it will be interesting to see what others think. I agree there is  no right or wrong way on this.

I agree with you. If I'm interested, I'll contact the provider. I have mine disabled so that they don't see that I saw them.  

[Jamie21]

Similar feature on RentMasseur. I get messages on there from the system telling me that a ‘Premium RentMasseur client’ checked out my private gallery and would I like to contact them?’. I never do because I figure if they liked me they’d be in touch. I agree with the ‘build it and they will come’ philosophy. Maybe some clients need that little push to get them over the line but I’m not going to risk annoying people by being too pushy. I seem to get enough business anyway. 

[ICTJOCK]

I find it fascinating the ones who look at your RM profile  literally dozens of times.    Checking out photos I would assume.    Most of those guys never become clients.  Most who do,  check me out several times,  then a contact and a booking.

[Guest]

19 minutes ago, ICTJOCK said:

I find it fascinating the ones who look at your RM profile  literally dozens of times.

As many as 86 views in 24 hrs, that's just one person!!! 😜😳

[ICTJOCK]

4 minutes ago, Vin_Marco said:

As many as 86 views in 24 hrs, that's just one person!!! 😜😳

I had one with a hundred and some odd views over a week.    Never said a word to me.   It really gave me the creeps.

[Boink]

This reminds me of a situation I found myself in a hundred years ago. Way before the internet, when I was a puppy, I remember lusting over a particular classified ad, probably in LA's Frontiers Magazine (remember that?)  One night I finally worked up the nerve to call his number. A sexy voice answered "Hello?" and I froze. Paralyzed in shyness, I hung up immediately, without saying a word. Immediately my phone rang back. I knew he had "star 69ed" me. (Remember that?) I felt so guilty about hanging up on him, I just couldn't ignore him again, so I picked up. He sounded so nice, so reassuring, so friendly (and sexy) that I let him talk me into meeting.  And, boy, I was so glad he did. He was all that and more!

So I guess I have nothing against a provider contacting me if I've shown interest. Not that it happens very often! 🙂

[+ DrownedBoy]

I try to turn off my visibility too.

The pandemic was the only time I was regularly contacted by providers while ad browsing. They were desperate for business and were offering unsolicited discounts. I'll keep that in mind the next time the market tightens.

[Guest]

@Boink did we almost bump into one another on Santa Monica Blvd a few years ago? A near miss? 🤣🫂

[DWnyc]

I don’t mind a provider contacting me as long as they do so with a tone that makes it clear they are curious to see what my interests may be, offer to help me with answers to questions I may have.

I turned the feature off because of one very aggressive escort in New York (and his behavior on this issue was discussed on this forum). One look - not 80 views - resulted in a slew of direct and increasingly aggressive mails. Even with no response from me the tone shifted to “I don’t have all day …” and “what, you think I’m not good enough for you?’. That I didn’t like. If you’re a provider reaching out to me, show humility and recognize the dynamic where we are potentially exchanging things we both want, you’re not saving me from eternal outcast status and I’m not an ATM machine for you.

 

[Guest]

17 minutes ago, DWnyc said:

I don’t mind a provider contacting me as long as they do so with a tone that makes it clear they are curious to see what my interests may be, offer to help me with answers to questions I may have.

I turned the feature off because of one very aggressive escort in New York (and his behavior on this issue was discussed on this forum). One look - not 80 views - resulted in a slew of direct and increasingly aggressive mails. Even with no response from me the tone shifted to “I don’t have all day …” and “what, you think I’m not good enough for you?’. That I didn’t like. If you’re a provider reaching out to me, show humility and recognize the dynamic where we are potentially exchanging things we both want, you’re not saving me from eternal outcast status and I’m not an ATM machine for you.

 

Sorry that happened to you...  I've said it for years.... there are far too many in the business that have no business in the business. Good on you for not even responding. Nothing drives people crazier than being ignored 😉

[Boink]

On 9/13/2023 at 8:49 PM, Vin_Marco said:

@Boink did we almost bump into one another on Santa Monica Blvd a few years ago? A near miss? 🤣🫂

Yes!  Can't believe you remember that!  Nice to bump into you on this board. 🙂

[Guest]

I can tell you exactly what I was wearing lol. People that know me here will tell you I have the memory of an elephant 🐘 lol I had on a military green wife beater 🙂 

[maninsoma]

I am seldom even logged in when I view Rentmasseur, and I don't have a Rentmen account, so providers won't know that I've looked at their ad once or 1,000 times.  When I did used to log into Rentmasseur before browsing (or when I used Adam4Adam and kept my visits traceable), I didn't mind when a provider sent a simple message after I viewed their ad.  Sometimes it would remind me that I looked at him and it would result in me making an appointment, but most of the time I had already decided I wasn't motivated to meet them for whatever reason.  So I guess I would say that it doesn't bother me to get one such message but only one, and in my case at least the return on the time investment isn't likely to be worth the effort.

[JamesB]

I don't mind if a provider reaches out to me after visiting his profile several times as long as it is a polite manner.

[dbar123]

I had to turn that feature off. It was very intrusive to be contacted by escorts within an hour or so of scanning their page. I felt a bit trolled.

If, on the other hand, the escort were to contact me with additional information that wasn’t in their ad, I might not mind but usually it was a push for an immediate booking since clearly they were eager to fill some holes. 

[SeeJay]

For me as a client looking for providers I typically look through the multiple profiles over the course of several days or even a couple of weeks. 

I'm looking at pictures, reading reviews, and reading "about mes" to get an idea of what this provider might be like.  Usually I've looked through so many profiles that I've forgotten who's who and who said what, so I'll sometimes go back through them to refresh my memory. 

As I'm gathering my shortlist I might switch back and forth between a few profiles reading and comparing. 

I've experienced sexual trauma in my past, so it's important for me to feel safe and comfortable with this decision. I'm paying a lot of money and can feel very vulnerable, naked at a strangers house with a pocketful of cash.  

I'm not looking at profiles 80+ times in one night like some are describing but I'm definitely not trying to be a creep either. It's just part of my decision making process.  

If one of the providers messaged me directly, I'd probably be turned off by that, as it would come across as pushy and a little aggressive.  But I think it would depend on tone and content, and how many times I actually did look at your profile. 

[Jarrod_Uncut]

On 9/14/2023 at 12:54 AM, Vin_Marco said:

Sorry that happened to you...  I've said it for years.... there are far too many in the business that have no business in the business. Good on you for not even responding. Nothing drives people crazier than being ignored 😉

That I can say, may be true. But, sometimes not everybody in the business: is actually even in the business. Or even existence at all.

I’m finding this out more as I’ve come across stuff like AI renderings of people, who aren’t even real! For example, I went back thru a text from a “couple” who contacted me last year. I cross examined the picture further and realized: it wasn’t even a real picture! It was so pixelated, and the edges of the skin were very jagged. It looked very fake. The  “client” basically sent me a fake picture of a couple that doesn’t even exist.  I knew something wasn’t right about it from the get go.

But it just goes to show. People in the business who have no business in the business: probably aren’t even in it to begin with. Using someone else’s pictures, or doing some scammy type of stuff. Almost congruent with the notion of “clients” who aren’t actually clients, they just do exactly what you have described; looked at profiles 100s of times under the disguise 🥸 of being a client.
 

On 9/23/2023 at 2:58 PM, dbar123 said:

I had to turn that feature off. It was very intrusive to be contacted by escorts within an hour or so of scanning their page. I felt a bit trolled.

If, on the other hand, the escort were to contact me with additional information that wasn’t in their ad, I might not mind but usually it was a push for an immediate booking since clearly they were eager to fill some holes. 

Well, that’s the feature that the site allows.  It’s not trolling, it’s part of what you signed up for when you become a member. It’s like if you walk into a go go dancer bar, specifically for go go dancers: if you look at a guy, they will likely turn around and say hi to you.

But that’s also how the innovation of RentMen, can sometimes backfire when  mimicking a “personals” site. That’s why I also don’t engage on RentMen messenger. I love the feature, it’s great: for auto responses. I’m not about to sit there and just be chatting to a dozen guys at once for free, knowing they probably doing the same with others. On a dating platform, maybe people don’t mind wasting their time: but we’re trying to run a service. Now maybe if each chat message was $10 to start, I would be more engaged. 

3 hours ago, SeeJay said:

For me as a client looking for providers I typically look through the multiple profiles over the course of several days or even a couple of weeks. 

I'm looking at pictures, reading reviews, and reading "about mes" to get an idea of what this provider might be like.  Usually I've looked through so many profiles that I've forgotten who's who and who said what, so I'll sometimes go back through them to refresh my memory. 

As I'm gathering my shortlist I might switch back and forth between a few profiles reading and comparing. 

I've experienced sexual trauma in my past, so it's important for me to feel safe and comfortable with this decision. I'm paying a lot of money and can feel very vulnerable, naked at a strangers house with a pocketful of cash.  

I'm not looking at profiles 80+ times in one night like some are describing but I'm definitely not trying to be a creep either. It's just part of my decision making process.  

If one of the providers messaged me directly, I'd probably be turned off by that, as it would come across as pushy and a little aggressive.  But I think it would depend on tone and content, and how many times I actually did look at your profile. 

That’s insightful you’d share that revelation about your past trauma. 
 

In my case, I have reached out to clients who looked at me. Every so often, I’ll reach out to a list of several who have. However, I lately stepped back from doing so because: I don’t want to feel compelled to bend my rules and rates to accommodate a situation that wasn’t initiated by the client, and it seems to be: when an escort hits up client first, client takes it as an invitation to ask for a discount or “maybe maybe” the conversation. So even though I don’t mind initiating first, I don’t always.

On the flip side, I have had some successes come out of reaching out to some who checked me out. Also: story of my life in public seems to be, men rarely ever approach me anymore. I get approached by Women more than any gay guy, only a daily basis. No matter how gay I try to dress. I’m usually always the one to have to strike up a conversation first. So occasionally I’ll turn the tables and play my hand by sending out some invite messages…because that’s just what I’m used to. And in person, it has gotten me laid more than once. Online: the results are mixed but usually in favor of the client making the first move. 

[+ nycman]

On 9/13/2023 at 5:22 PM, ICTJOCK said:

I had one with a hundred and some odd views over a week.    Never said a word to me.   It really gave me the creeps.

 

grin

On a serious note, I am a hardcore window shopper. It’s one of the reasons I loved NYC escort bars back in the day. I like to see the escort in motion and get a clear idea wether we’re a match or not before I hire. I’m sure there are ads I’ve looked at 100’s of times (over the years, not in one week) and never hired the guy. Doesn’t mean I will or won’t hire him in the future. Just that he’s never been the perfect scratch for whatever particular itch I had that night. Hell, there are ads I’ve looked at over and over again just because I thought it was a brilliant and/or funny ad (e.g. @Russ). Although I eventually did hire Russ and certainly would again. He’s even better than the ad.

It doesn’t bother me at all when an escort reaches out. I look at it the same way as a go-go boy coming over and rubbing my thigh. It’s just good business. The dude is trying to make a living. Be polite, and support him if you can.