Overweight clients

[Jamie21]

16 minutes ago, nycboi said:

Aren't most masseur sessions outcalls? 

No, I see most of my massage clients at my massage studio. 90% are in calls. 5% are hotel visits, 5% to the clients home. 

[Jamie21]

21 minutes ago, nycboi said:

Providers can't be choosy. Clients will never send their pictures. 

I get clients sending me pics, of their own volition. I never ask for pics. Sometimes it’s because they want to be sure I’m ok to see them. Sometimes it’s from guys who think that by sending me a hot pic I’ll offer them it for free. In my experience the clients who send a pic are actually less likely to book. 

So providers can indeed be choosy. They simply require a pic. No pic means no booking. As I said, these guys are doing the work as an extension of their sex life. The money is an extra bonus for them, so they can feel ok to turn down business. 
 

[socurious]

42 minutes ago, Jamie21 said:

I get clients sending me pics, of their own volition. I never ask for pics. Sometimes it’s because they want to be sure I’m ok to see them. Sometimes it’s from guys who think that by sending me a hot pic I’ll offer them it for free. In my experience the clients who send a pic are actually less likely to book. 

So providers can indeed be choosy. They simply require a pic. No pic means no booking. As I said, these guys are doing the work as an extension of their sex life. The money is an extra bonus for them, so they can feel ok to turn down business. 
 

Wow...

I wonder how many times a year they book being that choosy. Maybe once every three months? Can you guess?

[Jamie21]

12 minutes ago, nycboi said:

Wow...

I wonder how many times a year they book being that choosy. Maybe once every three months? Can you guess?

No idea. But if they’re just doing it for fun then I guess it doesn’t matter, it’s not their job or their main income. 

[+ robear]

13 hours ago, nycboi said:

Providers can't be choosy. Clients will never send their pictures. 

Not true, at least in my case.  When booking a new masseur I usually include my body stats and a face pic.  I do this because if roles were reversed I'd want some idea of who was showing up at my door.  I also feel that if there's anything about me physically that would make the provider want to decline the appointment, I'd rather let that happen and spend the money for somebody else.

[pubic_assistance]

On 1/12/2023 at 5:59 PM, misterhumphries said:

Providers can be selective. Yet they probably also make peace with the potential loss of income by selecting only clients who are equally "hot" or meet some other criteria.

I agree.

Many of the escorts who advertise as masseurs do so as a way to be selective about who they are willing to "get down n dirty" with.

If they think you're gross ..they can manage a massage and a hand job but they're not offering more.

[BodeBrentwood]

It's been said ad nauseam but for real. 

Most of us don't care/mind/find it gross/find weight/size insulting. If you're mature enough to enter the business, you should be mature enough to respect everyones bodies for what they are. Everyone is different.

A SOLID amount of people who have sought me out have different body types than "average". It doesn't make my service any different.

A massage table with a payload is one thing. But thats more due to the fact that theres the material's limits, not because the masseur refuses to see you. A contagious illness/disease is also in that same category, for again, a reason. Nothing to do with ones preferences on appearance. 

At the end of the day it's a meeting between two consenting people, so whatever people are comfortable with will be whatever people are comfortable with. I've had people send me photos and stats, and I've had people surprise me at the door.

 

I hope whoever reads this has a wonderful day

Edited February 3, 2023 by BodeBrentwood

[Jamie21]

1 hour ago, BodeBrentwood said:

It's been said ad nauseam but for real. 

Most of us don't care/mind/find it gross/find weight/size insulting. If you're mature enough to enter the business, you should be mature enough to respect everyones bodies for what they are. Everyone is different.

A SOLID amount of people who have sought me out have different body types than "average". It doesn't make my service any different.

A massage table with a payload is one thing. But thats more due to the fact that theres the material's limits, not because the masseur refuses to see you. A contagious illness/disease is also in that same category, for again, a reason. Nothing to do with ones preferences on appearance. 

At the end of the day it's a meeting between two consenting people, so whatever people are comfortable with will be whatever people are comfortable with. I've had people send me photos and stats, and I've had people surprise me at the door.

 

I hope whoever reads this has a wonderful day

This! 100%

And reading it has started the day well 🙂

All that matters is you fit on my massage table (and if you don’t…we can always use the Futon), and that you’ve no conditions that are contra indications for massage. Oh and that you want a good time too 😉.

 

[Vulgarii]

On 1/15/2023 at 9:03 AM, pubic_assistance said:

I agree.

Many of the escorts who advertise as masseurs do so as a way to be selective about who they are willing to "get down n dirty" with.

If they think you're gross ..they can manage a massage and a hand job but they're not offering more.

 

That's basically what I do. After a decade in the game it still boggles my mind how complete strangers that end up looking really grotesque and even decrepit expect me to have an erection and to be into them. I thought alcohol would help but I gained a tolerance and it only made me more ballsy with saying "no." So if the client is disappointed that they couldn't get laid or get some hot action, well at least they got a great massage and that's all that was advertised anyway.

I'm not a chaser but I find some fat guys to be absolutely sexy and I prefer guys that I meet personally to have a belly.

[BtmBearDad]

I’ve never been a “Slim Jim”. I’ve been 6’2” since I was about 14 yo, I’ve a big build, and throughout childhood, teens, uni days, and good few years after, I was in decent shape - muscular/beefy kind of fellow. But, as happens, the pounds packed on with more office, less gym time. I was always upfront in my RM client profile about my size. I’ve never been declined because of it. The most anyone ever said about it was in person a provider mentioned how I didn’t look the weight I listed at all, I carried it well. A well cut suit, shirt can hide a multitude of sins! 😜

There are certain providers who, for whatever reason, will decline an engagement with an overweight client. It is what it is. You can usually suss out if that’s the case in their profile text, their “into” section, even their interview answers. Also, look at the client profiles of any reviews. Of course, checking here will offer a ton of intel too - either in the forums or via PM/DM. These providers I believe are the ones to ignore, no matter how tempting. To my mind, they’re treating their RM ad more like a Grindr/Scruff/etc. ad. Especially the ones with the tag “Discount for VGL/Fit” or “Discount for college”.   

The providers who have no such language in their ads, don’t use those tags, are I believe the real professionals. As such, they’re the ones in high demand, and the ones you want to engage when possible. 

I would agree that it’s only polite or fair to let a provider know about any physical limitations involved - whether that’s because of weight or any other reason. I hesitate to use the word “deformities”, but advising the provider of any, shall we say, not regular physical conditions is also a good idea. Case in point - some years ago, when I still was playing rugby, I was nursing a leg injury. Meeting the provider at the bar for a drink prior to adjourning upstairs, I made mention about potential limitations due to the leg, and he went white as a sheet, and his eyes got wide as saucers. Anyway off we went, fun time was had by all, and after I did ask about his reaction in the bar. He kind of laughed a bit bashfully, and confessed to a similar interaction with a client in another bar earlier in the week where the client knocked back two doubles in quick succession, and joked with the provider not to worry, he had a wooden leg. Upstairs in the room, it turned out the client was being quite literal about having a “wooden leg” - he had a knee down prosthetic. Provider was totally shocked. So when I made my comment, his mind went to that client, and his leg comment. To be clear, provider said his only issue was he would have thought the client have mentioned it, as it was a bit of a shock, and his reaction was more of “I can’t believe it’s happening again” - the no notice bit. I agree with the provider - that definitely deserves an “oh I should mention I have a prosthetic”.  

[marylander1940]

4 hours ago, Whatsupandstuff said:

Hi guys. are there any escorts who prefer bigger bearish men? would love to hear from providers 

I know some gay men are chubby chasers, but I've never met one in person and I don't know what percentage of the gay would prefer that body type. 

I'm sure escorts are accustomed to see men of all sizes. Is always a good idea to accurately describe yourself upfront, I'm sure some might not reply though but that's better than a disappointing experience. 

[Jamie21]

Sometimes with larger guys there’s physical limitations about what they can do, regardless of any issues about what you as the provider are prepared to do. 

I can think of a client I saw who was very overweight. My massage table is wide but when laid on it he took up the whole width…on his back his belly kind of spread out either side. This guy was top and really wanted to top me as part of the massage but the logistics of it wasn’t simple. Unfortunately his size didn’t extend to all parts of him if you know what I mean so that made it even more difficult. 

I tried to ride him but there was nowhere for me to kneel on the table either side of him and honestly I couldn’t get all of him between my legs when kneeling so I had to squeeze his body up between my ankles while standing on the table then lower myself on to him. That didn’t work because his belly was then in the way for any proper penetration. So I turned around facing away and tried that way. I think he was in for a minute or so but because of fat around his groin and thighs it wasn’t easy to ride.

We tried also with him standing and me bent over the table which didn’t work either because his belly got in the way. 

He told me afterwards that he’d not had sex in years because of the weight issue not really because guys found him unattractive (he said some guys sought him out because of his body) but mainly because he couldn’t get into positions comfortably.

I didn’t get into talking about why he was so overweight but it clearly made him frustrated and I felt sorry for him. 
 

[+ ThroatCummer]

As someone who has been everything from 210 and well built to 285 and not well built in my adult life, I can say there are a few parts here: 

1. As Jamie says above, there are position limitations and we all have to be realistic. I had them at the time and it sucked to be honest. I think people who are overweight know and want to try, but know their reality too. 

2. There were just as many people attracted to me at 285 as there were at 210. Today, I am 220 and not muscular or defined by any stretch of the imagination. People would describe me as "beefy" in general. However, my boyfriend is the textbook Instagram type who looks like he just walked off a fucking bodybuilding competition stage. He's like a walking cinderblock and everyone looks at him everywhere we go. I have people who assume he is an escort and I am paying him, but that isn't the case. He loves me for me, not the time I spend in the gym. The only reason I work out now is to stay healthy so that I can maximize the years I have to spend with him, and that's attractive to anyone. 

3. It's all about your energy. Anyone can attract anyone they want with the right mindset and energy. There's also an element of cleanliness and self-care that goes into it. No matter your weight (unless we're talking 400-500+ people who physically cannot manage to get into a shower or wipe their ass -- be clean. Cut your nails. Change your clothes. Use soap. Manage yourself the best you're able with the tools that are available. If you do that, you are good. 

Hope this helps.  

Edited June 11, 2023 by ThroatCummer

[Jamie21]

1 hour ago, ThroatCummer said:

3. It's all about your energy. Anyone can attract anyone

This is true, although I think ‘energy’ might be better described as ‘attitude’. If you behave as if you are attractive then that makes you attractive. Your attitude to yourself is a cue to how others might see you. See yourself as unattractive then it’s very difficult indeed for others to see you as attractive, and even if they do find you attractive you’ll probably not notice. I firmly believe there’s attraction in anyone and sometimes part of doing sex work is helping them find it. 

[+ Lucky]

6 minutes ago, The_Impeccable_George said:

You have a hard job for sure. I know I will be unpleasant but when you are so overweight the priority should be on losing it and not hiring escorts.

Why are they mutually exclusive for you?

[marylander1940]

6 hours ago, ThroatCummer said:

As someone who has been everything from 210 and well built to 285 and not well built in my adult life, I can say there are a few parts here: 

1. As Jamie says above, there are position limitations and we all have to be realistic. I had them at the time and it sucked to be honest. I think people who are overweight know and want to try, but know their reality too. 

2. There were just as many people attracted to me at 285 as there were at 210. Today, I am 220 and not muscular or defined by any stretch of the imagination. People would describe me as "beefy" in general. However, my boyfriend is the textbook Instagram type who looks like he just walked off a fucking bodybuilding competition stage. He's like a walking cinderblock and everyone looks at him everywhere we go. I have people who assume he is an escort and I am paying him, but that isn't the case. He loves me for me, not the time I spend in the gym. The only reason I work out now is to stay healthy so that I can maximize the years I have to spend with him, and that's attractive to anyone. 

3. It's all about your energy. Anyone can attract anyone they want with the right mindset and energy. There's also an element of cleanliness and self-care that goes into it. No matter your weight (unless we're talking 400-500+ people who physically cannot manage to get into a shower or wipe their ass -- be clean. Cut your nails. Change your clothes. Use soap. Manage yourself the best you're able with the tools that are available. If you do that, you are good. 

Hope this helps.  

You're 220 but how tall are you? 

400-500+ are folks who simply can't even move. Let's don't start normalizing them as if reaching that morbid obesity is something that just happens.... 

[+ KensingtonHomo]

On 6/10/2023 at 9:57 PM, marylander1940 said:

I know some gay men are chubby chasers, but I've never met one in person and I don't know what percentage of the gay would prefer that body type. 

I'm sure escorts are accustomed to see men of all sizes. Is always a good idea to accurately describe yourself upfront, I'm sure some might not reply though but that's better than a disappointing experience. 

Could you stop with the anti-fat postings? People are overweight for lots of reasons, most of which are beyond their control. Almost half of Americans are overweight or obese, which is a huge growth since the 1970s. It's not like everyone suddenly became lazy. In the US, it's largely due to our agricultural policy, which makes calorically dense, low-nutrient foods far cheaper than low-calorie, highly nutritious foods. That's why obesity also tracks with poor and working class status. 

I'm overweight now, but like @BtmBearDad I carry it well. I was a twink into my 30s and then a lot of shit happened in my life. I am currently working on losing weight and getting healthier - but I already work out four times a week. Trust me when I tell you that shaming or blaming people for their weight does not help them become thinner or healthier. It's just mean and unnecessary. 

Also, my husband is 6'1" and 175 and still finds me sexy as fuck. 

[marylander1940]

12 minutes ago, KensingtonHomo said:

Could you stop with the anti-fat postings? People are overweight for lots of reasons, most of which are beyond their control. Almost half of Americans are overweight or obese, which is a huge growth since the 1970s. It's not like everyone suddenly became lazy. In the US, it's largely due to our agricultural policy, which makes calorically dense, low-nutrient foods far cheaper than low-calorie, highly nutritious foods. That's why obesity also tracks with poor and working class status. 

I'm overweight now, but like @BtmBearDad I carry it well. I was a twink into my 30s and then a lot of shit happened in my life. I am currently working on losing weight and getting healthier - but I already work out four times a week. Trust me when I tell you that shaming or blaming people for their weight does not help them become thinner or healthier. It's just mean and unnecessary. 

Also, my husband is 6'1" and 175 and still finds me sexy as fuck. 

It was simply a suggestion to tell the escort. Anti-fat? 

I'm sure a lot of people find certain kinds of bodies sexy that I just don't. 

Edited June 12, 2023 by marylander1940

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

19 hours ago, marylander1940 said:

400-500+ are folks who simply can't even move.

As someone who has been 400 pounds +, I moved well enough, thank you.   And I'm grateful not a single male provider ever declined to meet me or fail to deliver a memorable experience.   Just thought I'd bring the comments back on topic to overweight clients for massage and escorts.

Edited June 12, 2023 by Vegas_Millennial

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

On 6/10/2023 at 6:57 PM, marylander1940 said:

I know some gay men are chubby chasers, but I've never met one in person and I don't know what percentage of the gay would prefer that body type. 

I am chubby, not a chubby chaser. I am pleasantly surprised by the number and quality of chubby chasers that seek me out.  I have more sex as a larger man than I did as an average man with a gut, because there are  many hot young muscled chubby chasers out there that seek me out.  When I lost some weight, I had regulars tell me they preferred me larger, including an escort I saw once each year on a particular holiday.  I told them I am losing weight for my personal health, not for appearance.

[marylander1940]

3 minutes ago, Vegas_Millennial said:

I am chubby, not a chubby chaser. I am pleasantly surprised by the number and quality of chubby chasers that seek me out.  I have more sex as a larger man than I did as an average man with a gut, because there are  many hot young muscled chubby chasers out there that seek me out.  When I lost some weight, I had regulars tell me they preferred me larger, including an escort I saw once each year on a particular holiday.  I told them I am losing weight for my personal health, not for appearance.

My point! 

Some folks like obese men and some don't!

When it comes to providers I'm sure some like them and some don't. 

For instance you prefer guys who are in shape and neither of us is a chubby chaser, right? 

 

Edited June 12, 2023 by marylander1940

[AZN_NYC]

I would never reject a client based on weight alone, more important to me is if client is polite and cleanliness is super important too. Sometimes, it is good to know in advance for safety issue such as using a proper massage table that supports the right weight. Some clients are very thoughtful and up front about this issue, and it makes providers feel very comfortable and give all in for a great encounter!

[Lazarus]

I do not mind overweight guys. I find a lot of them attractive. It depends on how they carry themselves & what their face looks like. In fact, I was with a guy last night that had a beer belly & small dick & it did not bother me at all. 

[Thelatin]

I’m just average so I use the Gladiator technique.  

“I’ll give them something they’ve never seen before”.

If you ain’t sexy, at least get creative.

 

[+ KensingtonHomo]

8 hours ago, marylander1940 said:

I'm sure a lot of people find certain kinds of bodies sexy that I just don't. 

I have no issue with your personal tastes and preferences. It's when you make sweeping statements about groups of people that are also not based in reality, that I have a problem.