Potential encounter?

[Deadlift1]

You played a good game.  I almost thought u were going to wake up in the morning with a dead guy next to u and HD no where to be found and cops banging on ur door.  U get taken down town for questioning.  U mention HD, the Jeep, and the gym.  And no one knows who ur talking about.

[john1973]

I agree. There's a strong mindf--k component here. Some elements of HD's narrative are farfetched, like recruiting you into an escort cadre. The part I like is how he backed out of some kind of scheme and ended up just proceeding with the f--kfest because he was already deep into it. Since it looks like he didn't end up taking your money, you can walk away now and put a period to the strange encounter. Given the deception and mindgames in the past few days, the next act of the story may not be as pretty. 

[+ Lucky]

Thanks for sharing your amazing adventure, @KrisParr

[lonely_john]

Yeah, call me cynical but the "cadre" story is a bit too weird and he definitely didn't tell you everything.

I'm glad that you had such an amazing experience and you should be proud of that @KrisParr

These things just don't happen. I was prepared to hear him asking you to invest in some business, etc.

By all means keep him as a nsa hook up if he's still interested but keep your eyes open.

You 2 f*cked and that gives him some level of influence. As you said, some mind games might be involved.

Edited June 6, 2021 by lonely_john

[David1024]

This has been an amazing story. Part of me is jealous, fantasizing about the 3-3 score and wishing it was me,  while part of me is relieved I didn't have to go through the mind fuck. Even if this goes no further, you can look back on the experience and tell the story many times. If it does go further, please share. BTW, did you smoke weed in the hotel room? Just curious. 

[MscleLovr]

I feel the caution suggested by both @john1973 and @lonely_john is well advised. And the description of it as “mindfuck” is merited.

Unless you haven’t told us something @KrisParr, did you reveal a lot about yourself in your earlier gym chats or do you think he checked into you and your life comprehensively before the date?

He seems to me to be very indiscreet. Here’s a question for @KrisParr: just how relaxed would you feel if this man were to be arrested and charged with say tax evasion, money laundering or drug possession? Would you think that he would keep you completely out of his ‘business’ or might you get embroiled in some plea bargain?

[KrisParr]

Well, at least the Braves won, 6-4.

Thanks for all the comments - appreciate the viewpoints and suggestions. I’ve given it a lot of thought - took an early morning jog through a nearby park to shake off the remaining mindfuck remnants. There are 2 other gyms in my network that I may start rotating to. I don’t want to just suddenly disappear.

Here are some answers that y’all asked:

Weed in the hotel room? Yep, we shared a blunt. I paid premium  for a smoking “allowed” room. 

As far as sharing personal info with HD, he has my phone number of course, and he knows the name of my consulting company. We talked some about family, but mostly in general terms. Nothing else. Did he check me out? Maybe. I think he had an idea that my “wealth” is far greater than it really is. I used to drive a Benz convertible and now have a Lexus. Since he’s “in” to cars, that might have sent a signal. Plus my two largest clients are major corporations and he knows who they are. But rolling in cash? Hardly. Comfortable, yes. Rolling? Laughable.

So here’s where I am today.

I think he offered me an “experience” as a customer, and fucked up the deal by not stating the “terms” up front. Remember the “discount” comment? I just blew that off and  assumed we were having a date. Like normal, eh? For whatever reason, it morphed into exactly that, and I don’t think he knew what to do to flip it back around. The bit about hiring me was total bullshit. Yeah, there might be someone out there who’d hire me to take them to Denny’s, but a fuck date? No way.   I can hold my own in the sack - at least HD seemed way more than satisfied with my talent. But as a member of his little “cadre” is fucking nuts.

I’m skipping the gym today. And maybe tomorrow, or hit a different one. And I haven’t heard from him either which isn’t that unusual. If he texts, I’ll probably respond, but my radar is cranked up, and I’m going to play it by ear. Yes, he’s stuck in my spank-bank memory probably forever. Will admit that the sex was off the charts - haven’t had anything like that for many years. 

Okay, that’s it for now. Like I said before, I need a break. 
 

And the idea of waking up to a dead body was hilarious and actually crossed my mind for a split second. Now that would make a great movie.

[Luv2play]

1 hour ago, KrisParr said:

Well, at least the Braves won, 6-4.

Thanks for all the comments - appreciate the viewpoints and suggestions. I’ve given it a lot of thought - took an early morning jog through a nearby park to shake off the remaining mindfuck remnants. There are 2 other gyms in my network that I may start rotating to. I don’t want to just suddenly disappear.

Here are some answers that y’all asked:

Weed in the hotel room? Yep, we shared a blunt. I paid premium  for a smoking “allowed” room. 

As far as sharing personal info with HD, he has my phone number of course, and he knows the name of my consulting company. We talked some about family, but mostly in general terms. Nothing else. Did he check me out? Maybe. I think he had an idea that my “wealth” is far greater than it really is. I used to drive a Benz convertible and now have a Lexus. Since he’s “in” to cars, that might have sent a signal. Plus my two largest clients are major corporations and he knows who they are. But rolling in cash? Hardly. Comfortable, yes. Rolling? Laughable.

So here’s where I am today.

I think he offered me an “experience” as a customer, and fucked up the deal by not stating the “terms” up front. Remember the “discount” comment? I just blew that off and  assumed we were having a date. Like normal, eh? For whatever reason, it morphed into exactly that, and I don’t think he knew what to do to flip it back around. The bit about hiring me was total bullshit. Yeah, there might be someone out there who’d hire me to take them to Denny’s, but a fuck date? No way.   I can hold my own in the sack - at least HD seemed way more than satisfied with my talent. But as a member of his little “cadre” is fucking nuts.

I’m skipping the gym today. And maybe tomorrow, or hit a different one. And I haven’t heard from him either which isn’t that unusual. If he texts, I’ll probably respond, but my radar is cranked up, and I’m going to play it by ear. Yes, he’s stuck in my spank-bank memory probably forever. Will admit that the sex was off the charts - haven’t had anything like that for many years. 

Okay, that’s it for now. Like I said before, I need a break. 
 

And the idea of waking up to a dead body was hilarious and actually crossed my mind for a split second. Now that would make a great movie.

I agree you need some time to process the experience and time gives you the ability to put things in perspective.

 

Your comment on the discount suggestion HD was first to bring up before your actual date took place may be something you want to mull over.

 

I know that if I was in your position knowing such a guy, and if he turned my crank as he obviously did yours, maybe there would be a way to continue the relationship on a "client" basis but forgetting the discount angle.

 

If he were to agree to see you at your home or at his I suppose, when you wanted a date, then assuming his rates were reasonable, I would see that as a win-win. All of this assumes he was being truthful when he first told you he had sex with men and women  for money. 

As I see it, all the other "mind-fuck stuff" you could both just agree to put behind you.

Of course this may not be possible if HD doesn't see himself in a provider role without all the other strings. It might depend on his financial situation, which would be a consideration on his part.

[+ WilliamM]

1 hour ago, KrisParr said:

Well, at least the Braves won, 6-4.

Thanks for all the comments - appreciate the viewpoints and suggestions. I’ve given it a lot of thought - took an early morning jog through a nearby park to shake off the remaining mindfuck remnants. There are 2 other gyms in my network that I may start rotating to. I don’t want to just suddenly disappear.

Here are some answers that y’all asked:

Weed in the hotel room? Yep, we shared a blunt. I paid premium  for a smoking “allowed” room. 

As far as sharing personal info with HD, he has my phone number of course, and he knows the name of my consulting company. We talked some about family, but mostly in general terms. Nothing else. Did he check me out? Maybe. I think he had an idea that my “wealth” is far greater than it really is. I used to drive a Benz convertible and now have a Lexus. Since he’s “in” to cars, that might have sent a signal. Plus my two largest clients are major corporations and he knows who they are. But rolling in cash? Hardly. Comfortable, yes. Rolling? Laughable.

So here’s where I am today.

I think he offered me an “experience” as a customer, and fucked up the deal by not stating the “terms” up front. Remember the “discount” comment? I just blew that off and  assumed we were having a date. Like normal, eh? For whatever reason, it morphed into exactly that, and I don’t think he knew what to do to flip it back around. The bit about hiring me was total bullshit. Yeah, there might be someone out there who’d hire me to take them to Denny’s, but a fuck date? No way.   I can hold my own in the sack - at least HD seemed way more than satisfied with my talent. But as a member of his little “cadre” is fucking nuts.

I’m skipping the gym today. And maybe tomorrow, or hit a different one. And I haven’t heard from him either which isn’t that unusual. If he texts, I’ll probably respond, but my radar is cranked up, and I’m going to play it by ear. Yes, he’s stuck in my spank-bank memory probably forever. Will admit that the sex was off the charts - haven’t had anything like that for many years. 

Okay, that’s it for now. Like I said before, I need a break. 
 

And the idea of waking up to a dead body was hilarious and actually crossed my mind for a split second. Now that would make a great movie.

Finding another gym is huge step forward

[Deadlift1]

He seemed to have unlimited energy even scattered.  Was he wired?  Cocaine.  

 

 

[rvwnsd]

2 hours ago, KrisParr said:

Well, at least the Braves won, 6-4.

If memory serves, you and HD tied so there's always that.

 

2 hours ago, KrisParr said:

I think he offered me an “experience” as a customer, and fucked up the deal by not stating the “terms” up front. Remember the “discount” comment? I just blew that off and  assumed we were having a date.

I think you are right. You could have asked, but if memory serves he dismissed the "discount" comment as him just messing with him.

2 hours ago, KrisParr said:

For whatever reason, it morphed into exactly that, and I don’t think he knew what to do to flip it back around.

It is possible he screwed up by forgetting to mention the fee, realized his mistake after he paid for the tickets, and decided to see what happened next.

2 hours ago, KrisParr said:

The bit about hiring me was total bullshit.

That was also my thought but it was a great save. Kudos to him for concocting a great story.

2 hours ago, KrisParr said:

Yeah, there might be someone out there who’d hire me to take them to Denny’s, but a fuck date? No way.   I can hold my own in the sack - at least HD seemed way more than satisfied with my talent. But as a member of his little “cadre” is fucking nuts.

Now, now. Don't sell yourself short with Denny's dates. I bet someone would pay you to take them to Outback Steakhouse or even Ruth's Chris. 

Do you think the little "cadre" even exists? 

2 hours ago, KrisParr said:

I’m skipping the gym today. And maybe tomorrow, or hit a different one. And I haven’t heard from him either which isn’t that unusual. If he texts, I’ll probably respond, but my radar is cranked up, and I’m going to play it by ear. Yes, he’s stuck in my spank-bank memory probably forever. Will admit that the sex was off the charts - haven’t had anything like that for many years. 

At the end of the day, you had a great evening and great sex. Good for you! 

 

 

[+ nycman]

5 hours ago, rvwnsd said:

At the end of the day, you had a great evening and great sex. Good for you! 

 

Yeah, so quit yer bitching Mary!

Most of us would kill for a “date" like yours…….grin

Just kidding, it was a fun rollercoaster ride of an essay to read. 
Don’t overthink it and take the pitches as they come. 
Oh lord, I think I just made a baseball reference….it’s time to stop.

Have fun and keep us posted!

Edited June 6, 2021 by nycman

[KrisParr]

Coke? Nah. I saw plenty of that shit when I worked probation. Yes, he’s an energetic guy, but remember, he’s 32, a gym rat, eats very healthy. He does enjoy weed now and then and has a fondness for beer and Jack. My kind of guy. My other vice is a pack of Marlboro along with a couple of cigars in a humidor “just in case”. Old habits die hard.

Does the “cadre” exist? I had serious doubts. But he carries 2 phones (which was news to me) and showed me a couple of text messages that would be pretty hard to fabricate - complete with photos of a seemingly happy customer during an “experience” at some swanky event. Two dudes, one my dad’s age and a hot guy probably around 40. Yeah, I think it’s real.

And a quick update if you’re still interested:

Text message earlier this afternoon.

HD-@ the gym-u comin?

I responded: went 4 🏃‍♀️- maybe tomorrow 

——

Day at a time.

[+ AntonGraza]

Let’s exam how a high end car dealer works on a client to buy a car; he sets you up with a test drive, and also allows you to take it home, so can integrate the car into your life, build desire and want. 
Side note-car dealers….they are kind of predatory by nature (applied with my 4 inch brush)

Kris, if you checked him out, there is a 99% chance the same was done for your background.   Pre - lock down maybe he only saw you as a new client and was going to ask you to be a “business”client.  
But, maybe after some 12+ months of self-refection On his life, he then felt “comfortable” sharing THAT aspect of his life  and wanted to go into the friend Plus category, and went BIG and really wanted to impress you.   You also had similar Covid time get together thoughts about him; your responds - actions( in a similar way) was purchasing the shirts, the Hotel room, stocking it with items….  You both were similar in approach to this meeting.

As the events of the evening progressed, he may have  became conflicted in some way and told a dumb creative lie.   You are 52 and have had more time-emotional experience to draw on.   What if you are the first guy he has really fallen for?   Now what?

Again, the creative story did not make sense, but he could have painted himself into a corner and panicked.

What were you hoping for?  A guy-friend to hang with, talk about things in your life’s that are most likely part of “normal” conversations and an occasional sexual experience? That is rare find.

Call him up, meet at a neutral place to talk and be honest and get it all out on the table.

Life is short and opportunities are fewer as we get older.  
 

You both sound like teenagers with massive crushes on each other and are post thinking of what did it all mean.

PS  the younger generation does not call-text back   You have to make the first move. 

The Pollyanna perspective….,😊  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[+ WilliamM]

1 hour ago, KrisParr said:

Coke? Nah. I saw plenty of that shit when I worked probation. Yes, he’s an energetic guy, but remember, he’s 32, a gym rat, eats very healthy. He does enjoy weed now and then and has a fondness for beer and Jack. My kind of guy. My other vice is a pack of Marlboro along with a couple of cigars in a humidor “just in case”. Old habits die hard.

Does the “cadre” exist? I had serious doubts. But he carries 2 phones (which was news to me) and showed me a couple of text messages that would be pretty hard to fabricate - complete with photos of a seemingly happy customer during an “experience” at some swanky event. Two dudes, one my dad’s age and a hot guy probably around 40. Yeah, I think it’s real.

And a quick update if you’re still interested:

Text message earlier this afternoon.

HD-@ the gym-u comin?

I responded: went 4 🏃‍♀️- maybe tomorrow 

——

Day at a time.

Why is he showing you  pictures of a young guy and his middle-aged  date?  What happens if the two of you are photographed?  Would you trust him to keep it private?

You were a probation officer, let that experience  kick in.

 

[Luv2play]

3 minutes ago, WilliamM said:

Why is he showing you  pictures of a young guy and his middle-aged  date?  What happens if the two of you are photographed?  Would you trust him to keep it private?

You were a probation officer, let that experience  kick in.

 

I wouldn't cut him off. If he still wants to see you at the gym, that is safe ground to let things develop naturally if Kris keeps the conversation low-key. The date they had could be just left in the background.

 

[mkm556]

1 hour ago, AntonGraza said:

You both sound like teenagers with massive crushes on each other and are post thinking of what did it all mean.

Agree ^

Can't say I understand why after becoming friends pre-Covid seeing each other at the gym daily and even hanging out after having pizza and beers that you are now thinking of going to another gym just to avoid seeing him.

You had an extraordinary date and overnight together, a win-win in my book. 
By his text to you today it appears he was looking forward to seeing you and talking. Why not have a conversation instead of trying to avoid him?

Anyhow I appreciate you bringing all of us along on your journey and wish you all the best!

 

Edited June 6, 2021 by mkm556

[KrisParr]

Holy shit, I never made the connection with the car-sales approach. That’s exactly how it unfolded. Until a month or so ago, our interactions were brief; he’d be lifting, I’d be on the machines; we’d cross paths, shoot the breeze and move on. Then we’d sometimes swim together - really not that much. But then, let’s play ball, and grab a brew had never happened before. I’ll admit he is a head turner. There’s an air about him that’s hard to describe. Confident and a little cocky, and a killer smile with textbook teeth. So, yeah, I think I was being set up in some manner. Maybe a fishing trip to see if I was potentially a client.

Showing me the picture occurred during the awkward speech about joining the cadre. That was so wrong now that I think about it. As far as I know, he didn’t take any pics during our date. 

I think maybe the sequence was something like this:

HD and K are gym acquaintances 

K enjoys the eye candy and goes out of his way to cross paths 

HD remains neutral but doesn’t shy away

Pandemic hits  - a year goes by

HD and K meet up again

Path crossing increases, much to K’s delight

HD reciprocates and sends clear vibes of interest

HD speculates K may be a potential client

Let’s play ball and drink beer!

And you know the rest.

—-

As of now, I’m going to suggest we grab a coffee (don’t need any alcohol) and just talk. I’m open. Friends with benefits- fuck buddy- gym bro- maybe marriage. LOL - Gotcha. 

[+ sam.fitzpatrick]

12 minutes ago, KrisParr said:

As of now, I’m going to suggest we grab a coffee (don’t need any alcohol) and just talk. I’m open. Friends with benefits- fuck buddy- gym bro- maybe marriage. LOL - Gotcha. 

I like this approach.  Don't avoid him.  I would go to the gym tomorrow for your regular workout and suggest the coffee when you bump into him.

[+ FrankR]

28 minutes ago, KrisParr said:

Holy shit, I never made the connection with the car-sales approach. That’s exactly how it unfolded. Until a month or so ago, our interactions were brief; he’d be lifting, I’d be on the machines; we’d cross paths, shoot the breeze and move on. Then we’d sometimes swim together - really not that much. But then, let’s play ball, and grab a brew had never happened before. I’ll admit he is a head turner. There’s an air about him that’s hard to describe. Confident and a little cocky, and a killer smile with textbook teeth. So, yeah, I think I was being set up in some manner. Maybe a fishing trip to see if I was potentially a client.

Showing me the picture occurred during the awkward speech about joining the cadre. That was so wrong now that I think about it. As far as I know, he didn’t take any pics during our date. 

I think maybe the sequence was something like this:

HD and K are gym acquaintances 

K enjoys the eye candy and goes out of his way to cross paths 

HD remains neutral but doesn’t shy away

Pandemic hits  - a year goes by

HD and K meet up again

Path crossing increases, much to K’s delight

HD reciprocates and sends clear vibes of interest

HD speculates K may be a potential client

Let’s play ball and drink beer!

And you know the rest.

—-

As of now, I’m going to suggest we grab a coffee (don’t need any alcohol) and just talk. I’m open. Friends with benefits- fuck buddy- gym bro- maybe marriage. LOL - Gotcha. 

I have to admit your experience beats my life experience.  So far nobody has offered to be my ... "pimp"?  😆😆

[Deadlift1]

Meeting for coffee to talk about it?

Nah....just continue working out together let him make the first move if he wants to discuss it.  As far as u know it was two guys going out on the town.

[+ WilliamM]

Suggest Leting some time go by before you talk about it with the gym guy. You may feel differently in a week or two. You know he is a car salesman and apparently a provider 

Be careful, please.

[john1973]

Unless HD has a romantic angle, I reckon his next move is to figure out how to recover his investment in that date, whether directly (or more likely) indirectly. If he's in it for the business, either a price quote for future services will be forthcoming or he's setting up a kind of sugar daddy/investor/creditor thing, maybe even some kind of extortion. I agree with William M., be careful. The mindf--k thing is potentially perilous, and it seems already effective.

Edited June 7, 2021 by john1973

[David1024]

11 hours ago, KrisParr said:

And the idea of waking up to a dead body was hilarious and actually crossed my mind for a split second. Now that would make a great movie.

There’s a great HBO mini series called “The Night Of” in which that really happened. The main character is played by Riz Ahmed, who I find really hot. The “victim” was a woman, but there are some hot scenes, including a prison shower scene. 😉

[+ Autumnal]

And maybe he just really likes you.?. Over analyzing can ruin a good thing.